ONE DAY ORDERING WINDOW next week for the 2018 holiday card! – available to patrons only.

(public post)


as many of you know, i’ve been doing a merch/holiday card for many many years now and we always do it a little bit differently (a few years ago it was only available with a book purchase, the next year it was done as a charity benefit, etc).

this year i’m making the cards available to PATRONS ONLY.

sometimes i like to keep these cards a surprise…but this year i’m gonna show what we’re sending (also, because fuck it, it’s so beautiful). at least just the front side. you’ll have to wait to see the back inscription.

the front of the card is a photograph from one of the official photoshoots i did with art/photo team kahn and selesnick for the upcoming album / book project that i’m actually working/slaving on as we speak.


the holiday card is usually a folded card, but this year it’s a frameable 8×10 stock card with a front and back side, suitable for framing if you want joyful snow-tits all year long in yer bathroom. on the back, i wrote a special holiday message….it’s cheery while being, y’know, slightly morose. hopeful, with a chewy human center. you know. very me.

dudes, you have no idea what was going on in my life when this photo was taken. it was so much.

you’ll find out when you read the new book, maybe.

anyway. it’s all connected.

everything always is.

this is our front yard, in woodstock.

we had a photoshoot happening.

it snowed. as you can see.


these will be going up for order on my website on MONDAY, november 19th with a password protected link just for patrons at around 2pm new york time. i’ll post again here once they’re ready to be ordered with the direct link and password.

there will be a tight window if you want to be guaranteed to get the cards before christmas, you’ll need to place your order by tuesday, nov 20th.

if you are in the $25 or $75 ART IN THE MAIL tiers i JUST sent out posts to you with instructions for you to opt-in to receive this card for FREE as part of your art in the mail reward tiers, as a holiday bonus of love, i will be hand signing all of your cards (guaranteed for the signed art in the mail tier, but i’ll try to sign cards for the $25 art in the mail patrons too, holiday post mail deadlines depending).

if you’re not in either of these tiers, you still have some time to upgrade your pledge and sign up to get the card as part of the art in the mail reward packages. you can update your pledge by selecting a new reward tier on the front page of the patreon:

if you missed the posts (or you just joined the $25 or $75 tier to get the card), you can find them here:

and if you’re reading this from twitter, or somewhere else and you’re not a patron, you can sign up for as little as $1 a month (and set a pledge cap!, please!) so that you’re eligible for patron-only goodies like this card, and patron-only ticket sales and other good stuff…

TONS of patron-only perks (vinyl! books! THINGS!) will be coming with my new album, which you’ll hear about soon.

snows down, tits out,




1. if you’re a patron, please click through to comment on this post. at the very least, if you’ve read it, indicate that by using the heart symbol.

2. see All the Things i’ve made so far on patreon:

3. join the official AFP-patron facebook group:

4. new to my music and TOTALLY OVERWHELMED? TAKE A WALK THROUGH AMANDALANDA….we made a basic list of my greatest hits n stuff on this lovely page:

5. general AFP/patreon-related questions? ask away, someone will answer:

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