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in my mind (more accidental australian hero-worship)

uh
nick cave wrote me an email. i got it this morning.
he told me my version “the ship song” was one of the most beautiful he’d ever heard.
i almost died.
what the fuck else is going to be left for me to look forward to?
kurt weill rising from the grave and writing a musical for me?
prince showing up for coffee with me in the morning? (important, since someone in the cosmos seems to be reading this blog and taking notes: he needs to be IN the “purple rain”-era costume, WITH THE PURPLE MOTORCYCLE. thanks).
my theory remains correct: come to australia and fucking amazing things happen.
so here’s another massive one:
i showed up at ABC radio melbourne yesterday to do a little promo spot, and as i’m ushered in i’m told that my conversation partner on the air will be JUDY COLLINS.
now – this should tell you something about my bizarre musical influences, that judy collins and nick cave are up there in my “people i would die to meet” along with weird al yankovic and laurie anderson. i’m weird that way.
judy collins’ album “in my life” was big for me…
01

i had it on vinyl, and replayed it into the ground. marat/sade was one of those songs i still feel i’m destined to cover – judy-style.

that VOICE. her STYLE.
she’s 71, just started her own label, and is touring a new record. how fucking amazing is that?
the woman inspires. she’s still absolutely beautiful, graceful, and has the kind of calm, sexy, focused energy that only powerful women at that age seem to be able to manage.
this is the cover of her new record, “paradise”:
02
gaaaaaaah. please, lord, let me be this awesome when i am 71.
i got to tell her how much she influenced me (i’m doing a lot of that lately, it seems) and listen to her stories of being a folk-punk-cabaret artist of the 60s and 70s.
i had my ukulele with me and wasn’t sure what i was going to play, but neil (who came with me) and i realized that it was a no-brainer, especially with july collins by my side.
i played “in my mind”, one of the new tracks off “amanda palmer goes down under.”
this is one of the stranger tracks on the record – but then again they’re all kind of strange.
i wrote in on the first and second days of a yoga retreat in otford, australia, before i started my tour last year.
i had taken myself totally offline and was with a bunch of people who were studying with baron baptiste to be teachers.
i got the tune in my head on the first night, and wrote it down in a glen at a little picnic table, since i had roommates and the walls were paper thin.
i was sort of writing this one for the yoga group, knowing that i’d play it for them at the end of the week, and i considered it far too hippie and embarrassing to add to my actual song canon.
but people really, really liked it. so i recorded it a week or so later when i got to mick’s.
a few months ago, i played it for brian when he was over at my house one day, and asked if he’d put percussion on it, and he said yes.
so i sent it to him in brooklyn, he recorded the percussion, and then i sent the whole thing back to mick in adelaide, who mixed brian in.
i think it sounds beautiful, hippie though it may be.
it consider it my fucking cat stevens masterpiece.
anyway, i sang it with judy collins sitting next to me.
03
(photo by mr moxy, neil gaiman, who was waiting outside with judy collins’ husband, which made us all feel special)
here are the words:
in my mind
in a future five years from now
i’m 120 pounds
and i never get hungover
because i will be the picture of discipline
never minding what state i’m in
and i will be someone i admire
and it’s funny how i imagined that i would be that person now
but it does not seem to have happened
maybe i’ve just forgotten how to see
that i’m not exactly the person that i thought i’d be
and in my mind
in the faraway here and now
i’ve become in control somehow
and i never lose my wallet
because i will be the picture of discipline
never fucking up anything
and i’ll be a good defensive driver
and it’s funny how i imagined that i would be that person now
but it does not seem to have happened
maybe i’ve just forgotten how to see
that i’ll never be the person that i thought i’d be
and in my mind
when i’m old, i am beautiful
planting tulips and vegetables
which i will mindfully watch over
not like me, now
i’m so busy with everything
that i don’t look at anything
but i’m sure i’ll look when i am older
and it’s funny how i imagine that i could be that person now
but that’s not what i want, if that’s what i wanted then i’d be giving up somehow
how strange to see that i don’t want to be the person that i want to be
(a note: when i sang the above verse i choked up slightly. i imagine you can understand why.)
and in my mind 
i imagine so many things
things that aren’t really happening
and when they put me in the ground, i’ll start pounding the lid
saying “i haven’t finished yet –
i still have a tattoo to get
that says ‘i’m living in the moment’.”
and it’s funny how i imagined that i could win this winless fight
but maybe it isn’t all that funny that i’ve been fighting all my life
but maybe i have to think it’s funny if i wanna live before i die
and maybe it’s funniest of all to think i’ll die before i actually see
that i am exactly the person that i want to be
fuck yes
i am exactly the person that i want to be
thank you judy.
thank you people.
thank you to everyone in the past few days who’s bough the album and has been talking it up on twitter.
everything you’re sharing helps – this record is barely being promoted outside of australia, and i am relying – as usual – on word of mouth to get people listening to it.
i’m feeling more and more proud of it every day.
i wasn’t sure about this little guy.
in one of the negative reviews that came out a few days ago (from the atlanta music guide) the writer said:
“It’s her love letter to her fans of Australia and New Zealand…But this love letter is so personal, so private, it feels like we’re reading her diary.”
and i thought: exactly.
exactly.
thank you, random journalist.
xxx
afp.
p.s. the album (digital as well as CDs/shirts/etc) is available HERE on bandcamp (or by clicking the art below) and HERE on post-war trade (where you can get your “down under”  benefactor bundles/CD/shirts/other goodies as well as all sorts of other afp/dresden dolls/evelyn evelyn goodness)…
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  • Ash

    Amanda, I fricking love you. You never stop inspiring me. Sorry if that sounds ridiculously dorky, but… heh.

    • Seeb Villkhu

      I pretty much just wanted to say the same thing as Ash!

      I’m going to quote this in my dissertation. Thank you for giving me something I’m passionate about to write a dissertation about. I love you xx

  • http://twitter.com/emilator emilator

    Fuckin’ Amanda. You’re such a great artist!! Hope to be the first leaving a comment :P

  • http://twitter.com/emilator emilator

    damn!

  • melissa

    Judy Collins is stunning.

    I have to say, I think this is my favorite album of yours yet. It’s got such a hopeful, pensive spirit. I have been singing “Australia” to myself all day and “Vegemite” makes me laugh out loud. And Map of Tasmania, well, it’s just about the best thing to ever hit Youtube.

    Thank you for sharing it with us. And whoever thought I’d ever say that about anything merkin-related?

  • http://twitter.com/aruragirl Karen Stone

    JB Hifi emailed me yesterday that my album is on its way, can’t wait!

  • tammy

    I saw Judy Collins in the bathroom at a Liza Minnelli concert in the 90s. I was also dorked out about it, because she was the music of my childhood. I simply gawked, as you do.

  • http://twitter.com/roryottgen Meg

    The song is honest and heartbreaking and is too close to home to stand, but is lovely <3 So very lovely. I want to put it on repeat, but it might swallow me whole.

  • Shea

    Thanks for sharing your diary. The new album is beautiful.

  • Tea N See

    I just bought the t-shirt n cd n things bundle and shipping is dirt cheap – $7 is awesome! So people of the world, buy more stuff. Keep Amanda funded for touring and recording :)

  • http://twitter.com/karabekianesque Stephanie B

    Sometimes I get down about where I am at in my life. I overlook all the wonderful changes I have made to my life, the experience and wisdom I have gained, and how much I have grown as a person. I just think “What if? What if I hadn’t dropped out of law school? What if I had it wasn’t right for me and chosen another career path?” I see all kinds of successful people (like you!) doing all sorts of exciting things and getting opportunities that I wonder if I will ever have, and get to feeling sorry for myself that the only job I could find was at a fast food restaurant and that I have so many imperfections still to fix. Thanks for making this song- it helped me realize I’m lucky to be living the life I am and to be the person I am. It can be so easy to get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself- thank you for reminding me to be proud of what I have accomplished! (Could this comment be any mushier? LOL hope this wasn’t too personal of a love letter :D)

  • http://twitter.com/fdhbstephanie fdhbstephanie

    Wow…

  • xero

    i love it. i’m actually listening it for the second time. i got ‘australia’ stuck in my head this morning and decided to listen to the whole thing again. this is different than ‘who killed amanda palmer?’. not so intense, not as ‘deep’…after i listened, i wasn’t feeling a hole in my stomach that signalled i had just listened to one of the most amazing albums ever…but this one is nice. this one made me laugh and dance. it’s casual and the slow songs are breathers. australia, vegemite, in my mind, and map of tasmania grew on me. when i heard the last ft. young punx, i was like ‘gaaaaaack. i like the simple version better!’ but then i started dancing and it was game over. i like that ‘in my mind’ is so optimistic. it’s one of those self-love (and i don’t mean masturbation) songs that you listen to when you feel like shit and then you cry because you realize how awesome you are. but i think my favourite songs were doctor oz and formidable marinade. because the dude’s voice is fucking. incredible. like for cereal. and the lyrics are amazing too. so yeah. tis good. i like it. but i was kinda hoping you’d put ‘the bed song’ on it too. i’m looking for that on your upcoming album(s).

    <3

  • http://twitter.com/Ludovicaa Lou

    I KNEW Nick would love your version.. Told you so!:) I’m just as sure that Judy was flattered and delighted by your interest too. You have a wonderful knack of making people love you. A rare gift. I know you already know Weird Al.. He has the same gift:) You are such a great inspiration. I bet when YOU are 71 some young singer will be just as stoked to meet you. Bless you forever :)

  • Caley Bolderson

    Dear Amanda,

    I love your new album. I like how personal it is, contrary to what that random Atlanta journalist says. Did he/she ever consider that maybe honesty and genuineness are what your fans want? That article made me mad, as did the comment by “Oz” on it, so I had to comment, too. We’ll see if they accept my post. “In My Mind” is actually my favorite song on the alubm, as I’m a perfectionist who constantly needs that reminder. Your album also inspired me to watch YouTube interviews of you, which led me now to believe that you’re amazing, and I have an enormous respect for you, and I hope I can meet you someday.

    Caley

    • random journalist

      Caley,

      I’m sorry my review made you mad. If it makes you feel any better, I do not agree with Oz’s statements either. I am actually an Amanda Palmer fan, but I just do not think this is one of her best CDs. It didn’t reach methe way it reached you, and that’s okay for both of us. The fact that my review angered you means you feel pasionate about Amanda’s art, and that is always a good thing. Your comments have not posted yet and probably will not post until Monday, but I thank you for tqking the time and caring enough to say your peace.

  • KRV

    It’s funny that you should blog about this song today. I heard it for the first time last night, and it left me weeping on my bedroom floor. I’ve been going back and forth all day about writing an email to thank you, so very much, for expressing exactly what I needed (need) to hear. I’ll just comment here instead. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

    (And your version of The Ship Song brings me full circle musically. I used to love that song in my high school bedroom, under a blue light bulb, and now I love your version in my grownup bedroom, under an orange light bulb.)

  • starr

    When I was listening to you singing In My Mind on 774 the other day, I wrote to my new husband and said, ‘Amanda is singing a song that it seems was written for us, its perfect!’ and it is, a perfect song.

    Thank you.

  • Wusiwug

    Beautiful song

  • Tara CB

    First time commenter. I love that you have adopted our country and have so much love spewing forth for it. You are like a cool version of Oprah. I’m flying up from Melbourne to see you at Syd Opera House on Australia Day. It’s going to be fucking epic. Looking fwd to JAA and Neil etc etc. ilu AFP.

  • Bug

    Oh mymuse, I have been looking everywhere for you. Its been so long, so long I thought you forgot that I exised. Oh my muse, thank you for showing yourself again in such a lovely and dreamy creature as Amanda. I truly hope you plan to stay around and share the adventures you have been on and share my adventues with me. I feel whole and apart of the world when you are spinning yarns. I look forward to tomorrow my friend, my muse. My bestest to Amanda and the others….. you have great taste in friends.

  • Brutabuss

    when i die……they will be playing HAVE TO DRIVE….at my funeral(driving is my life)….great fuckin music…thanks for sharing it with the world you are truly great

  • Electra

    Yeah, I really like that song. I might have cried a bit when you played it live. Thanks for everything.

  • Heravieve

    The Ship Song, love it. Bought the album. This makes me even happier to have her signature tattooed on my chest.

    Please come back to North Carolina soon.

  • TK

    Picked up the Down Under via download not too long ago. Not even heard all the tracks, heard one and found it and got the whole thing……worth it.

  • Liz

    Ahh! Love this blog and love your music. It reminded me of a few things I got into last night, (this here: http://thelittlepinkshack.blogspot.com ) Please keep doing what you do; it’s different, it’s fun and it’s thoughtful. Commercialized art doesn’t take as many risks- it’s so much more about formulas that add up to bigger sales. True artists need to take risks- to really grow. Thanks for being fearless. Always awesome. Really.

  • insignifikunt

    I was so happy when I saw you’d put Im My Mind on the album although I still prefer to call it the hippie song :p

    I LOVE what Brian added to it as well.

  • Michael

    Glad that I read this. In My Mind is wonderful! Lovely, simple arrangement. I think, maybe, I’ve been over doing my songs lately. Thanks for the reminder. . .

  • Shiny

    I’ve been listening to this album a lot… i love it as much as i love WKAP, but for different reasons… its almost blog-in-song-form, which i like :)

    a curious question; have you tried cheesymite? if so, is it any less disgusting? i haven’t bothered trying it yet.

    my best friend and i are looking forward to seeing you perform on wednesday!!!

    ALSO my mum told me to invite you over for lunch… we’re in Sydney’s Northern beaches. i can’t imagine that you’d have time this week, but there’s the offer anyway, for you and people with you >.< we'd have a BBQ, pavlova, lamingtons, (beer), – vegemite sandwiches? or perhaps not :3 – , etc. and it would be my family there, and a friend or two. purely for a relaxing thing (swim in the pool?)… we're not asking you to perform.

    i should have probably posted this somewhere else… oh well.

  • Shiny
  • gee.ay.

    True story- I bought your Down Under album today and “In My Mind” nearly made me cry because I could relate to it so well. Particularly the line “how strange to see that i don’t want to be the person that i want to be.”
    Commence the “Repeat song” function on itunes.

    And tonight this blog was posted. And this crazy random happenstance has caused me to de-lurk and post my first comment.

    “In My Mind” is beautiful. I really hope it does become part of your actual song canon so that one day I may see the beautiful live.

  • Emily

    I love the lyrics for ‘In My Mind’ so much, I scribbled them all over my wall. They make me happy no matter what.

    When I woke up on the 21st, the very first thing I did was download your album. And I am so fucking ecstatic that I did, it’s AMAZING.

    Everytime I hear, ‘Put down the vegemite you FUCKER.’ I can’t help but laugh my ass off.

    Never EVER lose your personality and talent Amanda, because it means more to your fans than anything else.

  • Athene Numphe

    In My Mind is probably my favorite song on this album. As I was first listening to the songs, it’s the one song I paused and started over, just so I would catch all of it again.

  • http://twitter.com/Rutabaga84 Rutabaga84

    In My Mind was a quick favorite for me too. Reading the lyrics now it’s even more so. You have a beautiful way with words!

  • x_chemicalism_x

    I can honestly say that “In My Mind” is my newest favourite songs. Ever.

  • http://twitter.com/nymphcat Clare Nicholls

    Good Morning from a rather Grey England.

    In My Mind is my favourite track from the new album. It reflects the way that I am feeling and the place I have got to now in my life. For a long time I imagined who I wanted to be. I carved and sculpted that woman and I always thought once I got to be this imaginary person I would be happy. Over the last year I have let go (by accident and without intention) of my preconception and suddenly realised that I am already exactly the person I wanted to be.

    This realisation was picked up upon by my dad who commented that I seemed to have the joy I had as a child back in my life. That simple of joy of sunshine and running on fresh grass for example. And he’s right I feel uplifted and joyous, I feel like I have found my true nature.

    Over the last three years the shape of my life has changed hugely. My marriage broke down, friendships faded, lovers came and went and through it all I swam in a mire of confusion and a misguided thought that if I could just be that other imagery woman it would all have been fine. (creatively it was most productive – pain and poetry good bedfellows make!)

    In fact, it was through my job that I realised I was already the person I had dreamed of being. I’m a midwife. I completed my degree last February and I’ve been working for 11 months now. I love my job. Every day I go to work with joy. One of the reasons I think my profession has helped me realise my nature is that once I am there all preconceptions about myself are irrelevant, I am the least important person in the room. I keep the experience safe, but beyond that it’s not my experience, my role is just to make sure that woman, partner and baby are in no danger. I find this kind of service humbling and inspiring.

    So yes In My mind is a little bit hippy, but it’s also awesome and beautiful.

    Thank you Amanda, for being you and for creating and sharing.

    lv, c.x
    namaste.

  • Ruth

    To dear AFP,
    I freakin’ loved In My Mind when you played it at MOFO and I think a lot of other people did too. There was a gorgeous, middle aged lesbian couple beside me that were holding eachother and had tears in their eyes when you played that song! It was so lovely. Did you feel the love? Oh yeah, and I love that its a bit hippie.
    Ruth xX

    • Ruth

      I am also Ruth and I also love In My Mind. Would love to see it played live. Jealous!
      x

  • Rhyska

    My personal favourite is DOCTOR OZ so far. Amanda, can you tell the story behind that one, please? It reminds me of old goodies such as Gravity and Bank Of Boston Beauty Queen. I just love those!

  • KCD

    I have a little house
    Close to town but not to the city
    Far from home but near my family
    No water views but so close to the sea
    I see, this is how my little life could be

    And I’m filling it with things
    Like furniture that I find on the street
    And all the special things I’d like to eat
    Pictures of people that I’d like to meet, oh meet

    Well I’m orbiting the world
    And it’s so pretty and so lonely

    My little love affairs are all scheduled ’round the TV guide
    And my sex life has all been plagiarized
    In an attempt to meet a harsh down line

    I’d like to rent a wife
    Then rent a husband to keep her for life
    The three of us, we could be so happy
    Then with each other, meet with company
    I’ll see them, I’ll find a flight around the world

    And it’s so pretty and so lonely
    I could just die, I might just die
    I could just die, I might just die

    And at my funeral
    They will say Tom he was such a nice guy
    He went too early but he went in style
    They’ll play my music and then they will cry
    Then they’ll have a little wake
    They’ll drink bad wine and they’ll eat lemon cake
    And my mothers little heart will break
    And she’ll say “Wait there must be must some mistake.
    He can’t be dead, take me instead”

    Oh but I’m not dead
    They tell me I’m not dead
    They say that I’m not dead
    That I won’t die for some time

    In my little house
    Just writing little songs to past the time
    Which incidentally is 7:49

    So don’t you worry I’m completely fine, I’m fine
    And don’t you worry I’m completely fine, I’m fine
    Don’t you worry I’m completely fine, I’m fine
    Don’t you worry I’m completely fine, I’m fine
    Don’t you worry I’m completely fine, I’m fine

    I’m just a fucking fine.

    • hellogoodbye

      THANKS.

    • asdfghjj

      awesome. ive been looking for some lyrics!!

  • Veronica

    I didn’t know Judy Collins. I don’t think I have ever heard of her here in Spain! But wow, reading this blog and the comments here, seems like I’m really missing something XD So I better put her in my artists-to-check-out-in-a-non-distant future” list.

    Right now I’m loving Ken Oak Band. He’s a cellist AND singer, he plays with two guitarists. Just amazing:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mBopbjQL1Y

  • Veronica

    I didn’t know Judy Collins. I don’t think I have ever heard of her here in Spain! But wow, reading this blog and the comments here, seems like I’m really missing something XD So I better put her in my artists-to-check-out-in-a-non-distant future” list.

    Right now I’m loving Ken Oak Band. He’s a cellist AND singer, he plays with two guitarists. Just amazing:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mBopbjQL1Y

  • Tina

    Big fan of yours, and have to say, the reason we downloaded this album was the Ship song. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you!

  • http://mataduvor.blogg.se angelica

    in my mind is one of my favorits of the new album. Love it.

  • Ryan_Anas

    I totally feel you on the mixed bag musical influences.. I was the kid in school who would wear a Marlyn Manson tee-shirt one day, and a Bob Dylan shirt the next, and try to argue that they were two artists with the same message. That said, Judy Collins is one of my all time favorites as well! He cover of Suzanne ! DIE! I used to sleep with a tape I made of The Whale Song on repeat. I’m so happy for you that you were able to not just meet her, but be on a panel alongside of her as an equal. This is very right! Keep rockin down under, and keep rising up and over =D

  • Lydia

    While my copy of Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under was downloading today everything went a bit wrong. Not with the downloading, that was fine. What wasn’t so fine was my mum doing her tax return. It’s sort of complicated in the sense that I don’t actually understand any of it, but basically our previous prime minister changed the tax laws, and this change in law caused a massive amount of outcry. I guess it’s kind of ignorant but we didn’t really understand what the effect of this was going to be. It’s kind of hard to, to be honest, because people who know about politics talk to you like you know about politics when you don’t, so it’s nearly impossible to learn anything because even a half understanding of something throws up more questions than it answers. Basically, our tax has changed a lot. My mum doesn’t earn much. We’re in the lowest income bracket thing. Which was why when we found out that the amount of tax we had to pay had gone up from £28 to nearly £2000…. It makes for something of a crappy day. So, that happened and then my mum was crying, which I think is probably a fair reaction. And then like, you have to talk about everything. Because we are essentially financially screwed, and have been for as long as I can remember. It seems like a lot of the time life is a series of doomsdays, like, when my brother’s benefits stopped even though he’s still at school (he has autism and dyspraxia so he’s doing education later but benefits people don’t care about stuff like real life that you actually have to deal with) and that’s just running into the next doomsday, which is April when my mum’s work (she’s self employed) runs out, and then she has to figure out how to get a job which is difficult because my brother’s home a lot because his school isn’t full time, so he would be on his own all the time because part of the whole autism thing means it’s difficult to make a life for him, and then when he gets sick he’s more likely to have seizures (he’s epileptic) so if that happened my mum couldn’t go to a job anyway…. So there’s all this freaking out and trying to think of solutions like moving (but my mum couldn’t get a mortgage because of our income), renting (doesn’t work out cheaper ‘cause even tiny flats cost nearly as much as our mortgage payments), etc. We’ve been in this situation forever, and no matter what she does my mum can’t find a way to earn enough for us to live on, because people pay as little as they can, and screw you over if they see the opportunity, which they always do because the fuckers know how desperate we are. So having to find another £2000 a year is… annoying, to say the least. There’s no way of doing it without her working herself into the ground, and even doing that we still won’t have what we need. And it’s just so awful because she thinks she’s this massive failure, but she so isn’t because she has dealt with so much more completely on her own than I think I ever could, than most people could.

    So… yeah, back to my point …. I was sitting, watching her cry and wondering why everything is always so shit. But then she had to help my brother with school work, so she went off to do that and now I’m sitting here, listening to your record. The first song that I put on is Australia, because I’ve never been good at listening to stuff in the right order, and it made me want to write this to you, because I felt that I needed to tell you how beautiful it is. Music, particularly yours, is beautiful, it makes such a massive difference to everything. It’s my, and many people’s bit of okayness in all the crap, and I want to say thank you for that. Thank you so, so much. I mean, I know that relatively I have no problems, but at the same time as that it’s my life, it’s all I have, and it’s still painful, and anything that can make it less so, and make it feel less like I’m completely on my own… well… it means more than anything. I’m sorry if I just sound like a massive idiot, I’m not meaning to.

    Thank you for being so amazing. I’ve never met you, and I probably won’t ever, but you have made and continue to make a massive difference to my life. Without meaning to sound weird (which, despite this whole letter I’m actually normally not. I’m usually kind of grammatically correct as well. Like I said, it’s just been a bad day) – I don’t know what I would do without you.

    Also, In My Mind makes me cry.

    • Veronica

      I am personally really moved by what you just wrote. I don’t know you and I don’t know what being in your situation is really like, but I feel connected to you somehow. Not only because of the love for Amanda Palmer, but because it seems to me like so many of us have to deal with similar problems and find other people’s behaviour just so hypocrite and hurting all the time. Have you seen “Into The Wild”? There’s a scene where the main character (Chris McCandless) says: “I don’t understand why every fucking person is so bad to each other so fucking often.” The fact that you and your mother (and so many people) have to go through such hard times without no fucking help from those who really could (and are supposed to), just makes me sick.

      Unlike you, I’m not grammatically correct most of the time XD I don’t mean to pity you or anything… I don’t know exactly what my point is with writing this, I just wanted to make you feel less bad, to tell you that you’re not alone, and to send you a massive hug. And of course, as long as we have things like music or books or movies or simply friends, we will find a way to disconnect from problems.
      May I ask you to consider me your friend?

      • Lydia

        Thank you. This is one of the nicest things anyone’s written to me. So yeah, I definitely do.

    • http://twitter.com/pang5 Disce Pati

      It’s not much but damn, if I can schlep 5 clams for this amazing album, I could schlep at least as much to you/your family, Lydia. I don’t want that to seem all um…schleppy and such but I’d like to help at least a little.
      Please get to me through Twitter (that’s my handle above – pang5) to let me know.
      I’m sorry if this is insulting. I absolutely do not intend it that way.
      Good luck either way you decide, hon. Things aren’t shite all over and they should never be shite all over anyone.
      x

  • I.V

    Dear Amanda,

    I hope this finds you well. Am really excited about your Perth show. My friend and I have come down every time you have been to Perth. We brigaded at the Dresden Dolls show in back in 06 at Heat nightclub and had a great time. I kinda regretted not putting the same effort when you came back with the Danger ensemble in 09. Would you mind terribly if put on our crazy little costumes and did it one more time? It would mean a lot to both of us (my friend and I are both performance and burlesque artists in Perth).

    xx
    I. V

  • Sarah M.

    Amanda…i just want to say thankyou, because i’ve loved your music and your incredible skill with expressing emotion for what feels like a long time now…..and then i buy the new album, chuckle through whoopie, sing along to australia, laugh out loud at vegemite and map of tasmania….and then track 5 comes on, and i listen, and i start to cry because it feels like you are reading from my own mind. you know this too? how can you understand so well? how have you expressed it so simply and so perfectly? although it feels so very personal for me and so incredibly moving, i am at the same time unsurprised that many other people have responded to this in the same way. knowing that other people do feel this way and relate so closely to these lyrics is moving and feels like a personal connection. it seems these internal though patterns are shared by many! it seems obvious and yet somehow it is so amazing to discover that.

    i was entranced at the last show i went to of yours way back at the beginning of 2009 in Perth (i made dinner for you guys! :), amazed at your ability to take an audience through a complete emotional swing, from the screaming fun of guitar hero, to strength through music where the entire audience was holding its breath and nearly in tears….and then out the other side to the hilarity and joy of you all covering ‘Umbrella’ . your ability to connect so deeply with your audience through so many different emotions, to take us with you and make us part of it is such a skill. i just continue to be moved and amazed. thankyou so much. in my mind will be printed and stuck on my walls, as well as on high repeat through all media, i strongly believe for the rest of my life. thankyou.

  • http://twitter.com/Esmertina Esmertina Bicklesnit

    In My Mind found me at a vulnerable moment, and dissolved me. I wept. I played it 8 times in a row, and wept myself to that cathartic, empty place where you are limp and calm and peaceful and hopeful.

    I don’t want to be the person that I want to be. This perfect version of me that I hold in my head, that I compare myself to constantly and feel like a failure … the one who is a great friend and never lets weeks of silence go by … who is always ready to accept any invitation and does not dread going, does not hit the wall and need to flee after a couple of hours of social interaction. Who exercises and eats well and does not get consumed by rage when she gets compliments on her weight loss, interpreting it as applause for conformity, finally you are embracing your feminine duty to be decorative, we will all enjoy looking at you so much more now, good girl.

    I don’t want to be her. She just exists to fuck with my head. She exists to taunt me with constant reminders of how far short I fall of being her.

    But Jesus … Amanda Fucking Palmer feels this way? I mean … Amanda does so many of the things I chide myself for not being able to do. She makes things happen. She makes ART happen. She never talks herself out of doing something creative because it wouldn’t work. She never sits paralyzed because she has talked herself out of doing anything at all.

    But that’s the thing about that taunting, perfect version of yourself. It doesn’t give you credit for what you are. It just berates you constantly for the things that you are not. You lost your wallet, rock-goddess Amanda Fucking Palmer? What the Hell is wrong with you? When will you stop fucking everything up?

    I can accept that Amanda’s perfect version is bullshit, that the things she is not are not nearly as important as the things that she is. Can I do the same for myself? Can I stop defining myself by what I am not, and start giving myself credit for the things that I am?

    What would I be capable of, if I could do that. Could that break the paralysis, and free me to be the REAL best person I can be? I don’t even know who that is, but I am pretty sure she looks very little like that taunting perfect version.

    Thanks Amanda, for giving voice to your inner hippie. I think it’s worth noting that when I was in my 20s, I had a similar weeping catharsis reaction to Judy Collins’ Both Sides Now after a breakup, and it reminded me all it takes is a change of perspective to go back to seeing the world the way it was before it fell apart. If the person you want to be is someone who can provoke a Judy Collins-esque life-changing emotional response in people with your music, you truly are exactly the person that you want to be. Right now.

  • tor

    that last bit about the random journalist had me thinking about random people’s reactions to my writing which is, for the most part, while not factually accurate, based upon my emotions and life experiences.

    california is a funny state. somewhere along the line many people got it into their head that negative/dark emotions are harmful and wrong, that people should only dwell on positive thoughts and share happy emotions. a toss down from the hippie new agers or whatever.

    coming from the east coast, where blunt is the keyword and i was taught to speak my mind, this never sat well with me, so i’ve always had trouble with certain critics who believe writing should not be personal, only taken from the imagination.

    doubtless i have always thought that a load of crap. there is no such thing as value free science. the observer enters into the equation with their own set of expectations, values and what not. same with writing, or music, or any other art. art is a personal statement. you cannot divorce it from the artist. a critic who has the complaint that your art is too personal is merely saying that whatever you have done has affected the observer/critic in such a way that they feel uncomfortable.

    hooray! that is part of art. not everything can be beautiful and sunny. life is made up out of dark and light, colors and shadows, and personally i embrace the lot. i would not be who i am without all of the experiences that came before, even tho i wish some of them had not occurred. but fuck anyone who tells me i should be embarrassed or not speak of things that may be difficult for other people to witness, that we should not speak to the world of controversial subjects because someone might be offended.

    • random journalist

      Tor,
      I agree with you that much of the best art is personal, but too many people think just because they are being personal, they are making great art. I think there is a distinction. I am a huge Amanda Palmer fan, obviously. I read her blog. I’m actually thrilled she read my little review. I hope she read my glowing Evelyn Evelyn review (although it was riddled with grammatical errors), in which I called it the best CD of the year. I just think this particular release focused too much on the personal and not enough on the making art. I’m glad you and so many other people get so much out of Amanda’s music. That’s what music should be about.

      • http://twitter.com/Esmertina Esmertina Bicklesnit

        I think your review was honest and fair, but I think there is a difference between Amanda’s relationship with her fans and the average pandering musician. From the states, I followed along on Twitter the last couple years as Amanda toured Oz, watching these songs on Youtube as they were written, catching the webcasts when I could (particularly the delightful one in the recording studio, how fun, so jealous).

        Having gone through this with her, we are in on the joke, and we feel like this is our album as much as hers (and for us in the States, as much as those lucky Oz people).

        Is it art? Well, look at it this way — EE was an exercise in songwriting from inside the skin of a different person with an elaborate backstory, using that as an inspiration to explore themes of connectedness. The result was lyrically and musically astonishing, and very, very personal (even though the souls it gave us a window into were fictional).

        So … why is it less artistic do write something personal and revealing from within your own skin? And why would you derive from that that Amanda is slipping as an artist?

        • random journalist

          Esmertina,

          Thanks for writing. As I wrote earlier, I don’t think writing something personal and revealing means someone is slipping as an artist. It’s when that person no longer makes a great effort to do it creatively that bothers me. I guess I just felt like on this CD she just wrote her feelings down and didn’t give much thought as to how to present them. Again, I’m a big fan, and I guess as such I expect more.

      • tor

        thanks for replying, i did not mean to harsh on you personally, more interested in exploring the idea of what makes art great, and does it need to be, all of the time? isn’t “great” art a personal preference?

        like what is the line between art and sharing? when is personal “too personal”? if people think what amanda or any other artist shared is great, and it sells, is it just fan loyalty, or is what that artist created “art” that only clicked with certain people?

        heck, i am surprised if i like every single song on an album. there is always something someone will not like. is it only “great” art if the majority of people like it? and is amanda that kind of artist, a mass appeal madonna? not that madonna isn’t great, but i have a limit to how many times i would listen to any of her albums from cover to cover.

        personally i don’t care much for map of tasmania compared to amanda’s other stuff. it is cute and boppy and funny, but given the choice i would listen to another amanda tune, unless i was in a dance hall. however i might prefer it to music by other people. i accept that sometimes an artist needs to experiment.

        what i am bent against is people downing art simply because it’s too personal. that does not make art inferior, in fact it makes it unique because it is difficult to take something so personal and twist it in such a way that people will identify with the core issue.

        look beyond the personal to what makes the art not work for you. is the writing unclear, the music not paced with the words, or do you simply not identify with the direction?

        expectations are funny things, and if neil gaiman started writing like robert ludlum i would be aghast and hope it was just an abberation. that amanda palmer does not want to be confined by evelyn or dresden dolls is no surprise, but as long as she stays up close and personal i have no complaints.

        • random journalist

          Tor,
          You raise many interesting points. Yes, I agree that most great art is a personal statement, but not all personal statements are great art. If Harper Lee wrote, “One time, someone beat me up because I was walking with a Black person. I hate that person. Racism sucks,” that would be personal (although I just made it up so it is not personal). Instead, she wrote To Kill a Mockingbird. That’s great art. Dave Eggers book, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is about as personal as they come, yet it is so wonderfully written that it takes what is essentially a “woe is me” story and turns it into something grand. A lot of my favorite singers: Regina Spektor, Jenny Owen Youngs, Rachael Sage, and Amanda for that matter, write personal songs, but so them well. Like you said, they may twist it in such a way to make it universal, or they don’t forget that it needs a great melody or selective word choice. It needs to be nutured. And while there are many great pieces of art out there that wer done quickly, many had the benefit of being reworked, made better, so that the original great thought could bloom into a great piece of work.
          But you actually said, “is great art a personal preference?” I guess so. You may lov something and it may change your life and be the best thing ever. Does that make it great art? I don’t know the answer to that. It makes it very meaningful to you personally, and, especially if that was the artist’s intention, that certainly gives it great merit. But let’s look at it from the other direction. I’m not a fan of Nirvana’s Nevermind. Yet I can appreciate what it has done for music, and for culture for that matter. It’s great art that I don’t happen to like. Think about all those tear jerker movies that are as hokey as they come. Maybe the stars’ daughter dies of cancer. Maybe someone in your family dies of cancer and so it brings up personal issues and you start bawling. Does that make the movie great art? I don’t know the answer to that. I guess the closest I can come is that it may be great art to you but not to others. Yet some things are just accepted. Vincent Van Gogh’s Starry Night is great art. American Idol, which has been seen by more people, is not. Their are books, courses, and even careers dedicated to determining just what art is. For most people a Campbell’s soup can is not art, but for Andy Warhol it damn sure was. It’s art. It’s preference. Who is to say who’s right and who’s wrong?
          As a reviewer, I think my job is to let people know what they’re getting. Yes, I’ll give my opinion, but I’m well aware that most people’s opinions will be different from mine. That’s why I often spend more time searching for links for the review, so that people can hear the songs for themselves. I try to let people know what music sounds like and what the song is about. I also try to make it a somewhat enjoyable read so that people will want to read it, but I try hard not to make the review about myself, but about what I’m reviewing. There may be people out there who read my review who have never heard of Amanda Palmer. They may click on a link, love her, and decide, “This random journalist doesn’t know what he’s talking about. This stuff is great.” Great. I’m happy. I’ve exposed someone to something they love. It can work the other way as well. I may love something and the person reading may totally disagree. That’s cool as well. But I still maintain that if someone knew nothing about Amanda Palmer and listened to Down Under, they would find my review at least fairly accurate. That’s the best I can do, because, like we both said, we all have different opinions.
          The other thing that’s important to mention is that most artists want to be known and liked, maybe not on the Madonna scale, but at least to have their fans. Amanda has that. If you look at the comments on this blog, nobody ever says anything critical about Amanda. That’s dangerous, almost cultish. Aimme Mann, another singer I adore, actually has a thread that is “Worst Aimee Mann Song.” In other words, it’s okay for your friends to let you know when they think you’re moving in the wrong direction. Wouldn’t it have been nice if George Bush had some people in the room who were willing to disagree with him when he decided to invade Iraq. If I say I don’t like something of Amanda’s it’s because I think she can do better. I’m not egotistical enough to think that my words alone would cause her to do that, but if many of her friends told her that, she might take it to heart.
          I’ll be honest and say when Amanda posted my link I thought I was going to get shredded. That hasn’t happened, and I apologize to everyone for thinking that way. I’ve enjoyed the debate were having, which was, after all, brought about because of disagrement over Amanda Palmer’s art.

          • Erica

            There is always room for some creation to be less ‘formal’ and to be more of a sophisticated extract of conversation (following Esmertina and Tor’s point). Amanda’s directed this album at this corner of the world and to me at least I can understand why a couple of the songs might seem to have simple chord progression but I don’t really see why that matters. They’re funny and very crisply direct and really v cool – perhaps (I think so at least) a composition can be appreciated almost purely for the wordsmithness of capturing an experience / exchange – which makes this album more of a gift capturing the warmth of the exchange of the live shows and people. It’s a really unusual thing to do. One of the hardest side-effects of live shows is that the freedom of music as communication is often a step more distant in the ‘official’ recordings. The review’s comments on ‘New Zealand’ for instance just sort of misses the point. Sometimes meter needs to get pushed to the side – why does every single song need to always be a polished piece of perfection. The mixture of tracks shows AP is a capable as always of truely beautiful pieces (and cover interpretations) and the world would be a tiresome place if we always wanted and got ‘perfection’. This is more an exchange netted and released. The concern too voiced re the dangers of ‘pandering’ doesn’t seem much of an issue to me. Madonna was playing a very different game.

            Sometimes too characteristics you don’t come to an artist’s work to encounter can jar your experience briefly before the underlying statements and commentary they make come through. Map of Tasmania has elements of mainstream repetitiveness and dance moves etc that are so pervasive in music these days but that’s part of the point of the song. AP isn’t making music that ignores the world and what occuring and that is why I love it.

            (I also like the Radiohead ukulele covers so much that the originals get sec0ndary listening. taste is a very varied thing and expecting to love every single facet of a person or their creations seems a little juvenile – so I suppose we should express opinions and discuss points of view and everyone will be stronger richer people for it but there should always be space for the people being discussed to be themselves and human in the world too)

  • abrokengirl

    Oprah has nothing on you, girl!

    You know we have dirty dishes here in Australia…

  • BB Wulfe

    The way you feel about Judy Collins, is pretty much how I feel about you. You are my true inspiration and hero of life. I choose you to be my champion =).

    • Lilli

      Indeed. I was thinking the same thing. And the fact that you, Amanda, meet your inspirations in these wonderful ways inspires me further. Thank you.

  • Nrslepicka

    Judy Collins’ In My Life was among the most often-played vinyls at full volume — title song, Pirate Jenny and Marat/Sade my favorites — 31+ years ago when I was at home with (Super)Kate & Pavel. We own all her recordings & have seen her in concert three times.

  • Harlequin

    i love you. so. effing. much. so does everyone in NZ :). thank you for the personal diary love letter. you don’t know how much we appreciate it. ♥

  • http://twitter.com/pang5 Disce Pati

    Woman, you’re lovely and I hope you continue to be the person you really are. Bless you (yeah, you didn’t sneeze.) :)
    Travel safely, y’all.

  • clarity

    My copy of APGDU finally arrived from JB today! Was standing in my kitchen making dinner when Vegemite came on and I lost my shit. I heard it when you played it at the Forum in Melb, so it wasn’t new, and it still had me all over the floor. It is so very, very funny and clever (not that most AFP songs aren’t).

    This is such a prime example of your witty, intelligent use of words. It occurred to me that anyone who can hear this song and write something bad about you is totally talking out of their asses. (The answer, of course, is that they haven’t stopped to bother to hear.) It’s not going to be my favourite AFP song, as you’ve written so many that absolutely break my heart, but I just felt it had to be said that anyone looking for a great example of the sharp mind behind the gorgeous eyebrows really doesn’t have to search hard.

    You have inspired me to reach better heights of wordsmithery.

  • Info

    unskillful troll is unskillful.

    clearly no one cares about your opinions, you are wasting your time here.

  • http://twitter.com/fivetide5 fivetide5

    Wonderful things as always. Could somebody kind please post up the uke chords for ‘In My Mind’? Massively appreciated if you could, so I can strum along al desko…

  • Petawb

    You obviously spent a lot of your time on this, what a shame no one gives a shit what you have to say. Ah well, back to the basement. One day you’ll get some validation, but not today.

    • http://andrewswebsite.net andrewlorien

      Oh, those comments have been removed.
      It was an amazing piece of writing. i could hear kerouac there. and it’s great how he drained himself in the following three posts. if it was fiction, i’d love it. if it was, say, one of the young gods in American Gods, and he was spitting his bile at Odin, it would have been perfect.
      try writing a novel, whowillsurviveinamerica. it’ll give you somewhere to put your hate and your fear. i’ll buy your book, and i might even like it. certainly more than i like you shitting on someone i like already.

      ps i love random journalist, keep it up with the honest art critique, we need you.

  • http://twitter.com/Ludovicaa Lou

    This album is great. all the songs stay with me all the time in my head surfacing and sinking again to be replaced by another. that means theyre all great and memorable tunes, but theyre welcome in my head and comfy there. Not annoying me at all with their cheerful insistance on livening up my everyday mundane stuff

  • Erica

    they just played AFP on bFM (Ak, NZ) including Map of Tasmania and the Nick Cave cover and all sorts of extracts of interview interlaced between the songs and it was fantastic. It was cranked up so the lawyers in the office next to our flat window could get a dose of summer notes and wittiness and the beauty of life. Gold

    • Chillchills

      I heard it, too.
      Apparently, they *do* play this song on the radio :D

  • http://twitter.com/_ambo am33r

    read the negative review- hell, he compared you to madonna. could have been worse.

  • ziggymondais

    The radio show with Amanda Palmer and Judy Collins is at http://www.abc.net.au/local/audio/2011/01/21/3118492.htm?site=adelaide and it’s simply marvelous.

  • Ella

    When you played ‘In my mind’ at MONA i cried, it really touched me, i really related to it. Thanks Amanda. xo

  • http://truthaboutabsm.com Jen D

    Judy Collins! My hero!

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  • Emma Hodgson

    Wading through deep, deep self-doubt right now. Listening to “In My Mind” helps to reassure me that it’s okay to not feel 100% in control of my life, and gives me hope that one day I can learn to be happy with the person I am. Hippie or not, it’s helping me so much. Thank you so much for this, Amanda.

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