i’ll give you more crotch than you can shake a stick at

it’s UP, comrades!!! TWO VADGE-TASTIC SETS OF REMIXES…one official and one we-couldn’t-resist.

get ready to download and DANCE TIL YOU DROP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we had a shit-ton of fun putting all these remixes together…and people obviously had a shit-ton of fun making them.
i’ve never done anything like this before and it was wonderful to hear such bizarre, brave, and hilarious takes on The Little Song That Could.
i hope you all love how it turned out. it sure as hell isn’t what i expected, but then…THAT would have been a tragedy.

as i mentioned to the mailing list subscribers, yesterday: the song’s been getting great airplay, the video has gotten over 1,000,000 collective views on youtube and vimeo, and best of all, people have been talking about their pubic hair. what more can we ask for? nothing.
a major news site in austria just posted it up as THE SOUNDTRACK FOR INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY. that is awesome.
as mozart said: these viennese certainly know good music when they hear it.

the way this project worked was twofold. first off, hal made a SICK new “official” remix, seeing as he’s the hot-ass DJ who created the track in the first place, and in his remix he used a RAP that peaches sent me.

then some people (our friends, mostly) were simply invited to make remixes, and i told them we’d use whatever they sent in (DJ sveta, for example, and kim boekbinder). we sent DJ sveta the peaches rap to play around with because those two have toured together (DJ sveta opened up for peaches on a tour at one point) and we figured that would be a nice little cyber-collaboration.

THEN, we held a remix CONTEST through a website called indaba.com, whose sole purpose is to create an online landscape in which people can remix each other’s work (it’s very cool, and obviously a lot of people who tried their hand at remixing the track were indaba.com regulars, who spend their waking lives remixing shit up!)

there was a night when i was staying in new zealand (it was the accidental night off, when the earthquake hit christchurch), and after my hosts and eric and the kids hit the hay, i stayed up till 5 in the morning, nursing a tall glass of whiskey and listening to A GAZILLION REMIXES.

once we had ALL this material, we divided it into two separate releases. both are available ON BANDCAMP, FOR FREE (+donation).

the first one, and the “official one”, is called:
THE MAP OF TASMANIA REMIX PROJECT: THIS SHIT IS WAX!

to the nitty gritty!

the track list is hot.
a lot of my friends contributed, including….
peaches, dj sveta, kim boekbinder, bodega girls, and many more…
and
there’s also the WINNERS from the remix contest on INDABA, chosen by ME and HAL RITSON of THE YOUNG PUNX, the creator of the original hottt track.

• Thiago Correa
• Simone Ewouds
• Jared Graham
• David Minnick

need MORE??
we got more.

in addition, we’ve put up an additional collection on bandcamp called:
BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE MAP OF TASMANIA: EVEN MORE REMIXES

with extra remixes that were just too awesome to leave out….

• Haus of Glitch Remix by Jeremy Henry
• Rewax by jaronsound [feat. Logic The Topic]
• Phisto Rework by James McCrea
• Remix by NOWONOSOUS
• Cliché Rock N Roll Excess Version by Stevenson Roberts
• The Dollywood Remix by Krishna Venkatesh
• plus a bonus super-secret awesome surprise

they’re both available, NOW, on my bandcamp. grab them.
as usual, they’re FREE with a suggested donation.

give what you can.

and here, for you enlightenment and amusement, are the LYRICS to peaches rap, kim’s rap, and (NOT TO BE FOUND ANYWHERE ELSE BUT ON YOUTUBE AND ON THIS BLOG!), st. clare’s rap:

THE RAP OF PEACHES:
my map is symbolic
it gets drunk a lot
does that make it an alcoholic?
call it MOT for short
let’s take this bottomless case straight to court
freedom down there
i swear
do you see me smirkin’?
do you see me wearin’ a merkin?
get in the formation and let’s start 
TRIANGLE JERKIN’
TRIANGLE JERKIN’!

i’ll have to find you a clip from youtube, since he never recorded this, but – THE RAP OF THE BEDROOM PHILOSOPHER – who delivered this rap DRESSED AS A CAT live in adelaide. i shit you not:

Hey yo wussy
check out my tushy
don’t be afraid to stroke this pussy
Somebody save me
I don’t want ‘em to shave me
get out your big wet tongue and bathe me,
On behalf of dudes I vote one for pubes
short and curly
soft and swirly
Oh so serious
please don’t pity us 
just cos we get lost looking for the clitoris
vulva, the labia, it’d make me happier
to touch the tuft of the map of tasmania
I concur nothing makes me purr 
like licking that sweet little patch of fur

THE RAP OF ST. CLARE: she delivered this rap at the melbourne forum show, and everybody drooled at her beauty.
here’s a picture of me & st. clare and the rest of the beautiful Go Go Gagdet Go Girls, backstage before the Melbourne show:

 

hey amanda, i’ve got something to share

(amanda: yeah?)

 

you see, i’m the kind of girl who likes to play around down there

 

i’ve loved it as a love heart and as a racing stripe,

 

it’s also called a landing strip, it helps folks land at night

 

i’ve had a diamond, a cherry and a peach

 

sometimes it’s a forest, sometimes it’s a beach

 

so amanda, what i’m trying to say is…

 

theres a thousand ways to style it,

 

i’ll help you later on backstage…

 

 

(this was ad-libbed every night, but usually had something to do with the fact that she was very happy to show me how to coif my pubes AFTER THE SHOW, AS A PRIVATE LESSON).

RAWR.

THE RAP OF KIM BOEKBINDER:
Hey Amanda I don’t mean to be rude
but I think it’s kind of nice when it’s all slippery and smooth
Some women just don’t have a lot of hair 
and to say they all look eight years old is really unfair
Yeah, I dig the jungle, 
I dig the Rubyfruit, 
just like a pirate, 
I dig the boot-y.
You say you got the map, 
I say you got the treasure, 
your hair can mark the spot 
where I can dig for pleasure.
I like it fuzzy, yeah I like it bare, 
uh-huh, but most of all, I really don’t care.
So let me clarify what I’m trying to say: 
There’s a thousand ways to shape it, 
do it your own way.

here’s kim, shock of pink hair, tweaking our merkin-models of doom:

and to wrap of the issue for the time being, here are some words of wisdom from the boekmistress herself: I grew up around a lot of hippies who had an almost mystical belief in the power of the human body in its completely natural form. I don’t think anyone ever said this outright, but what I learned was that women should not shave or pluck or wax any part of themselves and to do so was an affront to nature. Women who submitted to popular beauty trends were seen as anti-feminists and idiots, subjecting themselves to the will of the patriarchy; all men who preferred their lady lovers with less body hair were porn obsessed pedophiles. The judgements were harsh and I was happy to look down from my hairy high horse at the idiotically smooth bottoms of the porn obsessed rabble below. Hair free legs were one thing, but leave the pubic mons as wild and free as nature intended. That was until I got an accidental Brazilian in Berlin (oh language barriers) which was the first step on a long road to the realization that I was a judgmental asshole who should shut the hell up about other peoples’ pants regions. We all have preferences and we all pick and choose which popular aesthetics to adhere to. 

Given my history, it is with a certain irony that my rap is in defense of the bare ‘down there.’ 

Body hair is political, but it’s also personal. And yeah, I like it all kinds of ways on all kinds of people.

PREACH, KIM!

xxx

LOVE AFP

p.s. and while i’m at it….hell, why not. here’s me & some gorgeous merkin-creators in CANBERRA AUSTRALIA, after my show there:

HOT.