happy new years, i just kissed 50 australians, and i love you all.
(public post)
hello dear ones –
it’s almost noon here in 2020, january first of the new year, and i’m sending my love back to all of you who are just about to cross over into the new decade.
i had so much i wanted to post before the new year hit, but i didn’t get to it, and just like everything else that we have left hanging and flailing… all the things that were not tidied, tended to, tamed and tampered…it’s all just fine, fine fine.
happy new years, loves.
last night was one of the most peaceful, communal and loving new years moments i have ever spent. since becoming a professional musician in 2000, i have been on stage as the clock struck about 95% of my adult life. it’s always interesting to be on the other side. my show ended at 11 pm last night, and i was, well, alone. but not alone.
i remember back in 2008/2009 when i threw a new years eve party for the community in new york, and we all held the silence, all together, 100 of us holding candles in a loft, as the minute crossed. this felt a little like that.
i didn’t have neil with me, since he’s sick at home in melbourne, and we usually try to be together to kiss for new years, since it’s also our enagagement-a-versary. we often lose each other. life, speed, travel, illness…things get in the way.
during my Q&A at woodford festival yesterday, someone asked me “what does family mean to you”? i said i think i have four familes. my bio-family, and my in-laws, the family-family. then there’s the new little mini-family i’ve created with neil and ash. then there is my tight logical family of friends and beloveds around the globe, my chosen family. then there is this community – my patrons, my readers, my listeners, the people i walk this world with as i float through the moments of this life as an artist and a connector.
and last night i got to ring in the new year with my fourth family.
i announced the plan at the ninja gig during the day, and a load of patrons and their friends gathered on a hilltop at the top of the festival, all in all it was about 50 people, settling in the dark of the trees as the festival sounds and lights raged below us.
we sat in three minutes of beautiful silence together, along with the 50,000 people below. everything stopped. a gong gonged. we breathed together. giving up the past year, welcoming the new. and at the stroke of midnight, i kissed every mofo in that circle. i just went from person to person and pashed them on the mouth of cheek.
this was my new years kiss. an everybody kiss.
…………………
wherever you are, as you ring in the new year, i hope you’re able to settle down and listen to whatever the quiet voices are telling you.
there’s always there, telling you something. this is a good time to slow down, to listen. listen to what that quiet, still voice is saying.
that it’s time to go back.
that it’s time to get out.
that it’s time to end.
that it’s time to begin.
you will know.
you will know because that voice is you.
it’s yours.
we just live in such a loud, loud world, even the loudness of our own heads, that the voice gets drowned out. but it’s there. it’s got something to say.
…………………….
every struggle forges us. this year has forged me into more gratitude than ever. for my families (all of them), for my staff who are so all-in and deeply invested in helping this community, for my health, for my relative sobriety, for the luck and privilege i was born into, for the chance to be able to help, how and where i can.
this year, 2019, was a hard one for so many of my loved ones. and so hard for so many people on the world who are trying to feel at home, find home, make home, keep home, keep sane.
there is also an outside-force darkness casting a shadow on things.
climate crisis, politics, racism, fear-mongering, the struggle across time and place to get everyone on the level.
how do we take care of each other? sometimes it feels impossible.
and it was a hard year for me, personally. i worked hard, and i struggled a lot, particularly through the fall in london.
but through it all, the help came. the hands, the eyes, the friends, the grasping fingers, the texts in the middle of the night saying “i love you”, the core connection with others. the most valuable thing. the human connection. the reminder.
our human family, constantly there to bolster and remind me:
we are not alone.
it may be a total piece of shit, it may be tumbling, it may feel hopeless, hard, burning, sinking.
but:
we are never alone.
you.
you are never alone.
……………………….
so: 2020.
a new decade.
there is so much to do, so much to learn, so much to feel.
i cannot, as usual, truly put into words how i feel about you 15,000-or-so folks.
you, my patron community that has become my family.
last night, i kissed 50 of you….but please imagine that those 50 australians were, like, standing in for all 15,000 of you, and if i’d had the correct spaceship and the correct field, i would have kissed every last one of you as the clock struck twelve.
i am kissing you all through time and space.
because i love you, fourth family.
happy new year, wherever you are.
wherever you are, whoever you’re with, whatever you’re struggling through….may 2020 bring more love, quiet, strength and peace into your life.
it’s a beautiful day in australia, and you’re all deep in my heart.
i got you.
xxx
AFP
p.s. if you’re still at woodford, i’m “doing” neil’s show at 5:30 because he’s sick and not coming. we have a handful of guests who are going to read his material….it’s basically a neil gaiman cover band. we are calling it NINE NICH NEILS. that’s on the hilltop. and my “weep fest” show is at 11 pm in the parlour. see you there. let’s hug and kiss in person.
——THE NEVER-ENDING AS ALWAYS———
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