even puppets get suicidal and need space.

i was gifted hand-crocheted neil gaiman and amanda palmer puppet likenesses in perth by a gal named krystel rose hewett (@zendarenn on twitter).

the detail, from neil’s black removable jacket to my kimono and obi, is quite stunning.

notable: full pubic hair and boobs on the amanda palmer, yet neil’s black clothes are absolutely irremovable.
so many levels.

neil is in london. i haven’t seen him for over a month.
so today in sydney, i decided to make use of the crocheted puppets and blog a picturebook commemorating our relationship.

THIS IS NEIL AND AMANDA:

AMANDA IS MORE OR LESS NAKED AND NEIL’S CLOTHES DON’T COME OFF BUT NEIL’S FINE WITH THAT.

AMANDA LOVES COFFEE AND NEIL LOVES TEA.

IT’S OK. THEY LIVE WITH THEIR DIFFERENCES.

I WISH I COULD PLAY MUSIC FOR YOU BUT I CANNOT THIS INSTRUMENT IS TOO LARGE.

IT’S OKAY, AMANDA. NOT EVERYTHING WORKS OUT THE WAY YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD.

HOW ABOUT I READ YOU A BOOK.

REALLY? YOU’RE GREAT.

THERE MUST BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS NEIL.

I’M READY TO GO TO BED NEIL ARE YOU READY? I’M READY. 
YOU SAID YOU WERE JUST GOING TO WRITE FOR LIKE AN HOUR.

I’LL JUST CHECK MY TWITTER FEED ONE MORE TIME AND WAIT FOR YOU TO BE DONE.

ANYTIME YOU’RE READY. NEIL? ARE YOU ACTUALLY AWAKE? OR ARE YOU SNORING AGAINST YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

SOMETIMES IT’S FUN TO TAKE A BATH.

NEIL YOU’D ENJOY THIS BATH SO MUCH MORE WITHOUT YOUR CLOTHES ON.
SOMETIMES WHEN NEIL IS SAD AND TIRED, HE LIES IN AMANDA’S LAP.

SOMETIMES WHEN AMANDA IS SAD AND TIRED, NEIL RUBS HER NECK.

NO AMANDA DON’T DO IT! YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.

SOMETIMES AMANDA JUST WANTS TO HUG HER PILLOWS AND IGNORE THE WORLD AND NEIL TAKES IT AS A PERSONAL REJECTION. HE IS SO JEALOUS OF THE PILLOWS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE INANIMATE.

BUT THEN OTHER TIMES THERE IS LOTS OF SEX, AND EVERYBODY’S HAPPY.

HEY WE HAD PUPPET SEX!!!!!!!!!!

SEE? I CAN LOVE YOU AND ALSO THE PILLOWS.

LET’S SPOON. GOODNIGHT. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

GOODNIGHT.

GOODNIGHT.

HEY.

WHAT?

BEING PUPPETS IS THE NAZ.

YEAH.

YEAH.

love,
afp

p.s. killed brisbane. killed sydney. about to go kill melbourne (sold out, but tickets are appearing every so often on twitter) and adelaide (not sold out, get tickets). tired as fuck.