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exterior dickorating. and much more random information you must have.

hola dear comrades….

i’m about to make a BIG-ASS announcement of something VERY AWESOME that will be taking place ALL OVER THE INTERNET on the afternoon and night of monday, april 25th.
it MIGHT involve me, neil gaiman, ben folds, and damian kulash all doing something awesome together. but it might not.
but it might.
mark your calendars, because from 4pm-midnight EST there’s gonna be an overload of non-stop awesome. more i cannot say.

today i learned about vajazzling for men,which is called manjazzling, penazzling,  pezazzling, scrodazzling, depending who you ask.
i decided to call it “EXTERIOR DICKORATING”.


runner up:

in the “wtf” department, we on twitter asked the important question:
what happens when a vajazzled chick and a exteriorly dickorated guy ACTUALLY HAVE SEX?
sweaty sex? sex that involves real rubbing?


we may never know, but if you hold the answer, for chrissakes tell us. we’re dying to hear.

i also saw one of my favorite tweets of all time, which was simple, but important.

i tweeted a quote from  bob lefsetz’s letter of the day about charlie sheen (who was booed at the opening night “i’m-gonna-sit-on-stage-and-rant” tour, in detroit): ”You’re no longer at the mercy of the critics, you’re at the mercy of the public”

and somebody (@AkesComics) on my feed answered:
“yeah, the sound of those boos was the sound of shit getting real.”

it really is wonderful. like, fuck yeah detroit.
crowds SHOULD be taking back the night.

i’ve always wondered what kind of times we live in where people do vapidly take what is dished out to them and don’t voice their opinions or displeasure when something truly blows.

i mean, “rite of spring”, by  fucking STRAVINSKY, was BOOED! booed! loudly!!! when first premiered in paris. what balls! i love it! people had a voice.
who cares whether we agree with them NOW. ironically, NOW people sit like they’re at a fucking FUNERAL at a Stravinsky – or any classical –  recital. but NOT THEN. then they weren’t afraid to make noise.

people nowadays are so accustomed to watching TV and shutting up, since it’s a one-way conversation, that they forget.
we’re going to watch that change in our lifetime.
indeed, shit IS getting real and we’re all along for the fucking ride.


i spent a wild and ripping week in new york, which left me with a nasty cold which i’ve decided to import up to boston.
first of all, i’m VERY proud to say that while i still haven’t recorded my truck-stop hooker version of “friday”, i DID use the melody to sing a “most amusing tweets of the year” song composed in honor of the shorty awards.

here’s the video, it’s pretty hilarious.
@kanyewest and @50cent win HANDS DOWN:

i’m going to be splitting my time between the two cities for the next while. my best friends in NYC, josh knobe (an awesome philosopher) & alina simone (an awesome singer and writer) just had their first baby. like, JUST. little baby zoë is only 9 days old and looks like a happy little purple peanut with blurry vision. well, not so little. she came out at 9 pounds and alina is only 5’2. hefty load.
josh and alina are both only children, so have no siblings to descend on them, and i’ve been staying with them in new york for years. when i saw that alina was due to give birth the exact day i returned from tour, i took it as a sign from above and decided to pretty plant myself in their living space and play auntie amanda for a while. which i like. no photos; i feel like iphone paparazzi for a peanut that young is probably too soul-sucking.

meanwhile, the nightlife beckons. the night after that duran duran show, i went to see LCD soundsystem at terminal 5. did the new yorkers win back their reputation as an appreciative audience?
it was beyond black and white. it was like…chamomile tea and tiger blood. the crowd at LCD soundsystem was OUT OF FUCKING CONTROL.
LCD just wrapped up their existence as a band (or so they say), so these shows had a special never-again energy…they’d added this run of terminal 5 shows before hitting madison square garden saturday night (which sold out quicker than they expected; watch it HERE). and the crowd CARED. 3,000 people were screaming and shouting and jumping up and down for THREE HOURS. people in the BATHROOM were dancing. i was up on the second balcony and we started a BALCONY MOSH PIT. that is a rock show. notable event: micro-slam-dancing with reggie watts (who appeared like magic on stage and sang with LCD soundsystem unannounced), nick from the yeah yeah yeahs, and eleanor from the fiery furnaces…a new york rock collision of epic proportions.

if only duran duran had been there.

the next night i headed to see the new york edition of punchdrunk’s production “sleep no more”, which i blogged about HERE when it was playing in boston.
instead of taking over a schoolhouse like they did in boston, they took over a HUGE old hotel on west 27th (the McKittrick, built in 1939 and felt it) and expanded the set to include (i heard) 100 rooms to explore (and get lost in).

just go. it’s a beautiful piece of fierce choose-your-own adventure theater that is part gallery, part horror movie, part voyeur-gasm….beyond that i can only describe it as an unmissable event for those who love weird theater, surprise experiences, out-of-place beauty, shakespeare, hitchcock, or art.
just go. and you may have a nice surprise one night and see someone who looks like me singing jazz standards in their fictional bar…
i think it’s sold out for a while but some tickets open up last-minute. the word on the street is it’s going to stay put in it’s current digs for a while, just don’t miss it.

ticket info HERE, with lots more about the show at 

here are some press images from the show…




earlier that night i also saw a video screening of a tour documentary by a great band called The Best Thing Ever.
you may know them if you know my pal emilyn brodsky (who put out a wonderful CD – that mr. brian viglione produced – called “Greatest Tits”)…she used to play with them.

their singer/leader, noah britton, is autistic, hilarious, and generally a bad-ass with a heart the size – unpredictability and frightening velocity – of an exploding planet.
The Best Thing Ever, in this incarnation, was a three-piece, traveling across america in their car on a SURPRISE TOUR. playing shows for…anyone and everyone.
they hit everything from the mall of america to the barded wire museum in kansas to some terrible frat bars and ice-cream shops, and playing unofficially outside lollapalooza impersonating the actual lollapalooza acts.
they either lied their way into gigs or convinced people to just let them play. they were taking ninja gigs to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL.
this is a picture of them from their LAST tour, called “the bathroom tour”.


yes, they only played bathrooms. shit, they were doing that bathroom shit MONTHS before me & kim boekbinder.

we’re, like, posers. but actually, jason webley was doing it, like, years ago. all hail the original.
they are fucking brilliant. the film could have used a fiercer edit, but it was wonderful. here’s a really good song by them, NINJA-ing for one of their friends at about 8am some morning. i wish i knew the title of this song. it’s such a beautiful song.


meanwhile, from the fundage-for-awesome-projects department:
kim boekbinder, molly crabapple, and jim batt (yes, jim who made the beautiful “in my mind video) are working on a very ambitious animated short film, using kim’s song “the organ donor’s march”….

here’s me in melbourne, peeking into the BEAUTIFULLY drawn set (created using molly’s art) that jim had set up in his loft:


since they smashed their original personal goal so quickly, they’ve juiced up the rewards for supporters and are trying to get to $14,000 in fundage. so far, they’re at just over $9k, so get in on that shit, folks. they have lots of fun bundles, and while it’s surely going to be great, it’ll be even greater – for you – to know you helped to make it happen.

donate HERE on kickstarter and follow the progress/find out more at


and in related news, another old dolls-pal, anna vogelzang, has a kickstarter album she’s trying to fund and it’s at the VERY tail end, last chance to order!

she’s hit her goal of $5k but you can still get in on the action…the chance to help ends at 11:59pm EST, tonight (monday the 4th). donate before it’s too late at


and in other news-related news:
some of you have noticed the site – where i sell my shirts/CDs/merch from – is down.
it’s not a mistake, it’s on purpose. we’re doing a huge merchandise overhaul and spring cleaning.
more details on that later, but if you need a shirt this month…make one yourself and send me a picture:
it’s better that way.
if anyone has QUESTIONS regarding a shirt/record/bundle etc order you’ve already placed, the email to hit is
we’ll let everyone know when the store’s back up, but until then: thank you for your patience and support on all of this…


i’m back in my boston apartment, beginning the Great Purge 2010.

and songs are coming back into my head.


gotta write them down.

these ones are good.


Back to Blog
  • Scary Θ Carrie

    I definitely think the crowds are taking back the night as you put far more eloquently then I ever could. You write so well. I can read this and nod the whole time. I like that you blog more. I look forward to what you do next. 2.9

    • crystal symons

      i have to agree with scary o carrie. i think you have a nitch for writing, amanda!

  • lisa

    it’s sad to hear that Beth will no longer be working for you Amanda, it makes me very sad :(
    she’s awesome. best of luck with her future.

    • lentower

      best with everyone’s future

  • Tilley

    Amanda it’s 2011…

    • lentower

      a might do the 2011 purge,
      after she finishes the 2010 purge

      • Amanda Palmer

        EXACTLY len.

        • lentower

          assuming a finishes the 2010 purge

          ; – }

          (ps: don’t ask me what year, i’m on ; – )

    •!/libbyking punksocks


  • Ruth

    I was a cloakroom attendant for an LCD soundsystem gig and I thought their fans were pretentious hipsters. Maybe that’s just the crowd local to my area though… North East England… Yeah. x

  • Rahel

    auntie amanda!! :) tantchen amanda!
    so zoë “looks like a happy little purple peanut with blurry vision”, hm? wie süüüüß! never heard such a funny poetic description of a baby! i will call my child purple peanut! ps ich fucking freue mich auf deine neuen lieder :)

  • Michelle DB

    Just saw Anna Vogelzang this weekend in Green Bay! beautiful! When are you coming up, Amanda?

  • angelica

    love the twitter song! lol xD

  • Bottlerocketscience

    Your fascination with mandazzling==a story that ends poorly for Gaiman.

    • Amanda Palmer

      i have no intention of pedazzling gaiman’s man-bits.
      unless he, like, gets drunk at a frat party and i feel like it’s the only appropriate prank.

  • AmyK

    lol. Yep…2011. I loved the Twitter song. Bam!

  • lentower

    new SONGS!

    • lentower

      Hmmm, this probably explains why my great aunt anna
      (mom of my awesome 82 year oldaunt ruth who joined us at the d.dolls 10th anniversary Halloween concert)
      called me
      “my favorite little peanut”

      how much i’ll never know
      how many connections that won’t be made
      carpe nocturn

  • Gudrun Thaeter

    Surprise, you are best friends with Alina Simone… I bought her album Raw Demos because of that tipp
    And I like it very much. Give her my best wishes!!

  •!/libbyking punksocks

    if you don’t want it to feel like a funeral when watching stravinski, go to the albert hall in london during the proms and get the five pound tickets that let you sit in the gods. had a cool picnic up there in that amazing, amazing, amazing building (it’s amazing) while chit chatting with my glorious cousin and watching “the firebird” a couple of years ago. magic.

    and, they have all these cool traditions, like when they move the grand piano all the people in the good seats in the bottom at the front yell HEAVE! and then all the povo people in the gods yell HO! kewl.

  • indeciSEAN

    To those confused by Amanda’s mention of “the Great Purge 2010″: She hasn’t been home since December, so in actuality she is likely dealing with crap left from, well, last year. She went from Boston to California for two New Year’s Ending Dresden Dolls’ shows, and has been in Australia and New Zealand since.

  • Heather North

    your tweet song absolutely wins. as does the very existence of an electric ukelele.

  • hopegrrrl

    My friends and I are of the mindset that a vajazzled woman is not to be had in the traditional (missionary) style. I’ve not tried it out myself, since I feel that losing rhinestones in my undergarments throughout the day isn’t a risk I’m willing to take…but I’ve been “decorated” before. My husband has used both acrylic paint and permanent marker on my skin (avoiding the delicate bits, of course) for any number of reasons, and the sex that followed always resulted in transference of the product. Even permanent ink became smudged (sometimes beyond recognition) and showed up somewhere on his body. It didn’t matter what position(s), or how careful we thought we were.

    It might just be me, but I don’t think I could keep that sort of decoration on and still enjoy myself. I might just not be the sort of girl who can be “pretty” and have awesome sex? I’ve always made jokes about how it might just be impossible to have both though. Not that good sex isn’t beautiful, or that the resulting mess of tangled hair and sweat isn’t awesome, because it is. But the really amazing, mind-blowing intimacy that I crave is anything but delicate. I think that’s why I can’t decorate my skin with pretty little rhinestones and believe that they’ll stay in place.

    • Amanda Palmer

      so, in short, vajazzled women have to take it in the ass.


      • hopegrrrl

        LOL – NO! That’s not what I was trying to say at all! But we had concluded that (from all the friction of missionary) the rhinestones wouldn’t last, and therefore it would be a poor choice. Now I feel really bad!

        • hopegrrrl

          I feel I have to apologize for my post coming across in such a negative way. I can assure you, when the girls and I were talking about it, it wasn’t in a negative manner at all. In fact, my recently brazilian’d friend is going to give it a try and tell the rest of us what she thinks of it.

          What I intended to express, although I don’t think it came across, was a concern for the fact that if the jewels become dislodged during activity, they could become hazardous to one or both partner(s).

          The beautiful thing about something like a blog is how it connects people…and I’m certainly not the first person to point this out, but it’s a shame that we miss out on things like tone of voice or facial expressions with written word. I’m certainly sorry if any fabulously vajazzled girls out there having awesome sweaty sex (missionary or otherwise) were offended by anything I said. It wasn’t my intention to say anything derogatory. I promise you, I’m not that girl.

          • Amanda Palmer

            i was totally kidding. don’t worry.

      • lentower

        unless they are also botjazzled

        hmmm, don’t over-jazzle?

  • Melissa

    I have a feeling the Johns of They Might Be Giants were at that LCD Soundsystem show…

  •!/KoleBigEars Kole

    OH.MY.GAWD!! Please announce…well anything! That is my birthday! Ohhh I may have a good one this year if you are having an internet streaming concert for that time frame….I am even willing to pay for the show (cause it is my bday and all…otherwise I couldn’t splurg cause I’ve been unemployed for almost a year…)

  • Ben Faucher

    exterior dickorating…..classic.

    now, i feel like a creeper posting this as a comment, but i figure it’ll reach you faster than the email i sent last week (you probably have only about 700 more to go before you get to it). you’re starting the Great Purge 2010…sounds kinda daunting. If you’ll consider it, I would absolutely LOVE to help you in any way you need to get through everything – i love organizing. seriously. no joke. i know it sounds demented (and kind of is, heh), but I really would love to assist you. (if you happen to find the email, i sent it to, subject line “helping you out?”, just so you know who the heck this random commenter is)

    absolutely LOVE the blog by the way. every entry always manages to make me laugh, cry, or some combination of the two.

  • Naomi

    On the topic of audience feedback…

    One of the weirdest things i’ve experienced recently, was going to see a live broadcast of a theatre performace of Frankenstein (it was *totally* awesome, and very intense). The weird part? Not being able to applaud the cast as they took curtain calls. I mean, the clapping started in the cinema where I was watching it… but quickly faded out as people realised they couldn’t hear us. But the urge to clap anyway was there. My hands were twitching. Totally bizarre.

  • Emily Smith

    mentioning Terminal 5, how do you feel about it? I’ve heard really amazing and really shitty reviews about the setup/acoustics, could it just depend on who’s playing?

  • Keenan Depner

    April 25th is my birthday!
    How did you know?

  • lentower


    time to cover some Stravinsky?
    (2tbomk, u haven’t)

  • Alex

    That twitter song was the best thing ever (but not the band).

    That’s like when one of my friends say “Ilu2″ I say, “Yeah, they are a pretty great band.”

  • insignifikunt

    i think the great purge of 2010 calls for a webcast auction … or giveaway … of random shit in your house … just saying

    note: i do not want random shit as i just cleaned out all my random shit, but i would like to watch a webcast … and if said random shit is awesome random shit, and not along the lines glass dildos, then i would like it …

  • crystal symons

    i think she realizes what year it is, tilley. :) the point is, somehow she feels she is behind on things (possibily, song writing?). i’m sure her fans are continuously anxious to get their hands on new material, since she makes herself readily available to them…the thing is, the more we have to wait, the more likely she’ll create better material.

  • crystal symons

    those gems remind me of some the ghettofied people i know — those who dickorate (in the words of amanda palmer) their cell phones with the same stuff so they’ll be bling-blinging. hahahaha…

  • Tobermory

    “what happens when a vajazzled chick and a exteriorly dickorated guy ACTUALLY HAVE SEX?
    sweaty sex? sex that involves real rubbing?”

    Disco balls.

  • Catrala Delirivm

    Time traveler… ok i even asked the other day in wich year we where, so it can happen anyone XD!

    (…its 2011, but we all get the message <3)

  • Dleucomelas

    Very glad someone gave Charlie the big slap in the face…..but I feel more sorry for people who actually paid money to go see that….

  • Matt Perron

    I’m pretty sure that there aren’t that many Exterior Dickorations coming (no pun intended) anywhere near a Vajazzled lady. Now two Dickorations…. sorry, I just really don’t see many straight dudes doing it…but then, when I knock boots with my old lady, mine are often high heels so who am I to talk?

  • Bitter Ruin

    The 50cent tweet is hilarious! Is it real?

    • Amanda Palmer

      yes, dear.

  • Kd

    Yes, Sleep No More!! Everyone here needs to go see it… Mug someone with tickets. No, don’t do that. But see it! I was actuallythinking when I went a couple weeks ago – hmm, this should have something Amanda Palmerish happening here. :). Tell us when you will be there at the bar!!

  • Alicia Puck Vickery

    I JUST borrowed a book from the library about remaking old t-shirts into new things. I am so on making my own AFP shirt…

    • Amanda Palmer


  • Jess

    “Exterior Dickorating” – ha! I can only imagine how unpleasant “Interior Dickorating” would be….

    You do such a good job of spreading the word about brilliant, awesome, not-to-be-missed shit.
    I love having you in my inbox…..



  • House Of Lamia

    Ornamental codpieces of the fifteenth century… sparkly Merkins… now Vadazzling and Dickerating? What’s next? A future in gene-therapy for the genitals: Charlie Sheen may not be able to have actual tiger blood in his veins but he may end up with a tiger penis in his trousers.

  • enuma

    When a vajazzled chick and a dickorated guy have sex, the Phenocryst is born. This signals the coming of the Razzlepocalypse. The world ends as flaming Swarovski crystals fall from the sky.

    •!/KoleBigEars Kole

      Do Cithuly pieces start growing from the ground too?

  • Kat

    i haven’t ordered any postwartrade stuff, but i won the #amandamail competition in August, I just wondered if that was still on. I have spoke to Sean on twitter a few times about it. on shadowbox it also said there were gunna be simular competitions but there haven’t been so i wondered if the whole thing had fallen through?

    • Amanda Palmer

      hmm. lemme find out.

      • Kat

        okay, thankyou x

      • Kat

        Did you find anything out?

  • Kat

    do any men actually like vajazzling? the only men i know who love sparkles and diamantes most certainaly do not like vaginas.

  • Meagan413

    Come to Detroit again! We need you after that Charlie Sheen debacle…Check out the Royal Oak Music Theatre and you have to visit Heidelberg Street. Pretty, fucking glittery not vaglittery, sparkling red, cherry on top–please!?

  • Rose Blak awesome…need here in Sydney!!

  • Bea N Hayve

    Amanda- I’m a skater for Tucson Roller Derby and we would be tickled pink if you considered writing a song about roller derby (the amazing flat-track, woman-empowering, hot-pants wearing sport it is now…not the WWE style it used to be). There has been a lot of old media press about derby, but it all hails to the bank track WWE style mania that prevailed in the 1970’s, and totally spins derby as this blood thirsty brutal sport. It’s just like any other contact sport, except it’s just FOR WOMEN, which is AWESOME.

    I’m on the injured roster right now (broke my ankle in a stupid freak accident), so I’m DJing, and was looking through my iTunes for a song of yours I could put in the playlist, and realized it couldn’t hurt to ask if you’ve ever thought of writing something like that? (Everyone on my team wants me to beg you to come out here and play for us at a bout so I promised I’d throw that in as a plea, even though I assured them you are RIDICULOUSLY busy…)

    If nothing else, know that the hot sequined bruised tight-butted badass roller derby chicks from Tucson dig your fucking awesome music.

    Bea N. Hayve, #373

  • Amanda White

    RE: Right of Spring: If you haven’t been to a classical music performance that’s been booed, you’re missing it.

  • fivetide5

    I’d still like to know if the HiLo made it or whether it’s all Pono from now on in…

  • Brittany

    Hey Amanda! Just writing to thank you for this amusing tweets of the year song. I just had a rough break up with my long time girlfriend and it’s the one thing that can make me laugh no matter how down I am. So thanks again. Hope to see you in Philly soon!

  • Noah Britton

    Thanks for the BTE support! the song you posted from The Bathroom Tour
    is called “I love You So much” and here is us performing it at a diner
    after you left the screening:
    That is why I wanted you to stay. But that theater show sounds great
    and I’m sorry it conflicted. Thanks again for coming. I know you’re a
    busy one. I’m so tempted to try to re-edit the surprise tour again but
    it’s just impossible. Anyway, keep up the good work.

  • JoeyBags1138

    I saw Sleep No More 2 nights ago and I still can’t get it out of my head. I can’t stop thinking about it and I need to go back. Everyone needs to go see it…it’s truly one of the best theatrical experiences of my life!

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