“BIGGER ON THE INSIDE” is up, and a few things re: this blog & patreon

hey denizens of The Blog!!!
NEW SINGLE TODAY. my first official release in…actually, years.
i know a LOT of you have supported the patreon – thank you.
it’s incredible to me to see almost 3,000 people (and counting daily) hopping on board to support
my ability to keep music free for everybody. it’s just so fucking awesome.
a word about how it’s going to affect this blog.
as you’ll see from the link i’m about to give you, i’m going to be doing some degree of blogging over on patreon now.
i’ve been talking about this with friends (and neil, who used to be a more avid blogger) and the numbers are in….
the comments and hits on the blog are going down, down, down due to people migrating over to facebook and twitter and
the like. it’s not just me, it’s the system. but it’s also me, i don’t write a daily blog, i’ve been spreading my content all over
different platforms, trying to reach everybody…it’s been kind of a pain in my ass. i want everybody in one place, and i
don’t want that place to be facebook. (i think facebook is evil).
the blogging/writing i’m going to do on patreon is going to be limited, i think, to a couple things.
i’m going to be writing/posting some LONG-FORM stuff: interviews/essays/lost book passages that i decide to finally
re-write, edit and publish as stand-alone pieces. those will live on the blog, and i’ll send patreon over here to read.
i’m also going to release writing ABOUT THE THINGS i’m releasing there. it’s mostly read-only content anyway, not really
fodder for discussion and comments other than OMG I LOVE YOUR NEW SONG, and you can tell me that here, or on twitter,
or on facebook. as usual, i read everything.
my day to day THIS IS WHAT I’M DOING AND HOW I AM FEELING blogs will mostly still live here, because as much as i’m loving the community vibe on patreon,
it feels to weird to paywall my blog comments. i just don’t want to do that ever, i always want the conversation open to everyone,,,,yes, even the right-wing republicans who will come and post limericks about how i should have a bomb shoved up my c*nt. they deserve their voice too. that being said: there may be times when i want to talk about something that i just don’t feel like giving up to the world-at-large…some personal, intimate, vulnerable, possibly politically incorrect, who knows piece of content. THAT may go on patreon, because you know what? i don’t always want to deal with the entire world reading my shit. sometimes it’s nice to just talk to friends. if i ever do anything like that and the content feels significant, i’ll holler over here. i don’t want this blog to feel neglected.
so, before i get to feeling insecure. please comment below. y’all on board with this concept?
and with that short, gulpy, speech out of the way, here’s the link to the story and the stream of the new song.
the lyrics are up there too.
i recorded the track this fall. i’d written it a year or so prior when things with anthony’s cancer and my internet kerfuffles really hit the shitfan.
i asked zoe keating (who was, at the time, dealing with her own husband’s cancer battle) to record a cello part for it.
her husband, jeff, died a few weeks ago. it’s a particularly weird and beautiful time to put a track like this out, the poetry of life doesn’t stop.
it’s nice to be back at work.
next up, i want to make a video for this song.
it will be the saddest video in the world.
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  • Ada

    Hey Amanda,
    I’m skipping the ‘omg your new song is amazing’ part. You already know that ^^.
    I love you, and I’m on board with wherever you write, as long as you keep on the beautiful sharing you do.
    One more thing…
    Asking as a person who has her own occasional self-destructive behaviors as we all do,
    How do you keep on fighting?
    How can you be you and show everyone that you ARE you, without being afraid?
    How can you make all the insults not hurt, when they’re still somewhere in your memories?
    I am bigger on the inside, but I’m just too scared to let anyone in to see.
    How can you make them see?

  • Lucy

    I love this version of the song. Zoe Keating is amazing, and I’m sorry for her loss. I’m glad you two have each other to support each other.

    I’m also glad you’re not abandoning this blog entirely. I deleted / put on hold all my social media accounts while working on my Senior project, and I actually love not having facebook / tumblr / twitter in my life. Turns out not only did all that waste my time, but it also left me feeling bad most times when I finally logged off. It didn’t add much to my life, and most of my friends I can stay in contact with by texting or hanging out with. But I do miss you and certain other writers and artists I follow, so I’m glad you’re still going to be around these parts.

    • Terry

      This newly released song was great when I heard it live back in 2013. B-sides are always fun to hear. Keep up the great work.

  • Meegan Cloughley

    I am in 2 minds about separating the 2 types of blogs, while I like the concept I know personally one of the reasons that I support (well almost 2 days) you, and follow you is for your honesty, that you show your art and your personality and at times emotions are all completely connected. The other side of me (the more unhealthy one) endorses the concept of keeping the 2 separate, lol I guess that is why I am in 2 minds.
    Either way will no doubt read both ^^

  • Anonymous

    I think exclusiveness is a great idea. The less you share the more people may want. This should turn out to be a great idea.

  • Patrick Culbertson

    What ideas do you have for the video? I’m a freelance videographer, so I’m very curious!

  • SatansParakeet

    I’m fine with you splitting your content up, but I am a little disappointed that it’s a lot harder to get a feed of your activity on Patreon. I get the email updates when you post something there, but if I miss one of those in my overflowing email inbox then it becomes almost impossible to filter out your content from the content of your supporters on your activity page. I can’t just skim through your recent posts to see if I missed anything and I haven’t seen any way to get something rss-like. Even a feed for all of the activity posts by author or title or something would be nice so I could glance through them more easily.

    • Jen

      Hey it’s just a fan club. They don’t have that kind of money. She is preggo now and don’t expect much from her for the next few years. Tours not gonna happen. New music not gonna happen. You would be lucky to have anything new to talk about actually. Some of you really have high hopes for someone that has so many other things more important going on lately besides the care of some obviously very needy lonesome ppl.

  • Rachell

    Please don’t take what I am about to say the wrong way. I love Amanda’s music. And I think everything she is done is incredible music and these tours have been some of the best. However, this new monthly thing sounds like what we used to call when I was a little kid, a “Fan club”. There were big huge bands when I was a kid that would be on the radio and we would want everything we could find that had to do with their music, and buy it to keep in a box under our beds. No offence but, I’m going to save my money for when you put out a new album and maybe tour again in my small town. Nobody here is probably going to remember you by the time you can afford to come around again. I certainly will understand too. But I can’t afford a fan club. I can barely afford food. It sounds really cool being part of some deeper story of your career, but I have too many other things I need to take care of in general. Good luck with your new marketing stratagy Amanda.

    -broke AF

  • Elena Blanco

    I’m going to start with the same line as Rachell, below.
    Please, don’t take what I’m about to say the wrong way. I love Amanda’s music, her art, I’d love to have a chat with her, I’m loving her book. Everything. Please, keep up with your art, Amanda.
    But I took a look to this Patreon thing. So, as it stands now, does it mean that for “any thing” Amanda releases, she gets nearly $30,000? I know artists (you know, the ones that reached to a certain level of celebrity) get a lot of money, but seeing that number, posted there… I mean, Amanda releases a song and she is gonna get, nearly, as much as I get for a whole year of hard work in the lab. It feels obscene. And of course, I’m not against paying for art, since artists need to pay their bills as everyone else. It just feels… weird.
    I’d happily pay for her new album, but I think I’d rather not to know how much she actually gets.

    Or maybe I just misunderstood the whole Patreon thing?

    • Christina

      It’s not actually that much money, given her field. If she’s producing a video, that is going to produce an income of… very few dollars. Music videos are very expensive to finance, thousands and thousands of dollars. For a music recording, she may have accompaniment she has to pay, or other equipment costs, which again cuts into it substantially. For some projects this will probably be a huge profit, like if it’s a writing piece or a very simply produced song, but I think it balances out in the long-run to not be a ridiculous sum. You compared it to a year of hard work in the lab, but if you were including the costs of running your own lab–equipment, contracted labor, commercial rent–in your value equation, I bet your numbers would look a littleeeeeee bit different.

      Just my thoughts! I had the first initial reaction as you did, but if you think about it per above, it makes more sense. (Also, it is pre-tax income, for what that’s worth.)

      • Elena Blanco

        Christina, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Actually, now that you put it that way, it makes more sense.
        I guess I kinda thought of just producing a song on the ukelele… and then, it seemed “unfair”.
        Thanks again! and have an awesome week