on Abortion, Rape, Art and Humor.

good god.

first the belly thing, now this.
please take a deep breath before you read on, it’s long and rambly.

so:
my label in the UK has been gearing up to promote “oasis” as a radio and video single.
a few days before i left for london i got this email from someone at roadrunner:

Hi Emily/Amanda,

Hope you are both well,
I just thought I’d let you know that we have been met by fierce opposition on the Oasis track.
Which is disheartening, as combined with the video, we all felt it was a great promotional tool and track.
All our TV outlets have refused to play the video due to it “making light of rape, religion and abortion”. This is the audio as well as visual.
Many of the stations like the track, and even the video but are bound by strict broadcasting rules. I personally find this quite ridiculous.

dude.
wasn’t this the UK, land of black humor blacker than blackest black itself?

i emailed back and asked which outlets. the reply:

NME tv, Scuzz, kerrang, MTV, Q, the box … to name a few. There is only a few networks: bauer, chartshow and MTV. They control all stations and they all had the same issue….

and i sat there thinking, wow. here we go again.
why can’t ANYTHING just be effing EASY this year?

it isn’t a simple issue, obviously. but the fundamentals seem clear to me.

i sat down one day in or around 2002 and wrote a tongue-in-cheek, ironic up-tempo pop song.
a song about a girl who got drunk, was date raped, and had an abortion.
she sings about these things lightly and joyfully and says that she doesn’t care that these things have happened to her because oasis, (her favorite band) has sent her an autographed photo in the mail. and to make things even better (!!), her bitchy friend melissa, who told the whole school about the abortion, is really jealous.

if you cannot sense the irony in this song, you’re about two intelligence points above a kumquat.

i then recorded this song with ben folds (who is way more intelligent than a kumquat) for my record, WHO KILLED AMANDA PALMER, in 2007.
he produced the song to sound fantastically happy, a full-on peppy beach-boys style number complete with ba ba ba back-up vocals.
we were very proud of it. it was funny, and sad, and made sense. to us.

then i made a video with michael pope that portrayed a VERY literal play-by-play of what was being related in the song. it also made sense to us.

now people in the UK are telling me that the song “makes light of rape, religion and abortion”.

can i simply state:

WHEN YOU CANNOT JOKE ABOUT THE DARKNESS OF LIFE, THAT’S WHEN THE DARKNESS TAKES OVER.

ok?

the song is not a lecture.
the song is a SONG.
it’s a reflection, a character sketch.
as i was walking over to the bbc the other day and my label rep mentioned that they might not let me play “oasis” on the air, i suggested that i might be allowed to play it if i just slowed it way down and played it in a minor key.
think about it. if they heard the same lyrics against the backdrop of a very sad and liliting piano, maybe with some tear-jerking strings thrown in for good measure, would they take issue?

imagine these lyrics to the tune of “strange fruit”. or “yesterday”.

“when i got my abortion, i brought along my boyfriend
we got there an hour before the appointment”…
(cue swelling strings, tears well up in singer’s eyes)

“and outside the building”
(singer looks down, brushes away invisible oncoming tear, lights change, strings ease up mournfully)

“were all these annoying fundamentalist christians”
(singer’s voice breaks, a pin could drop in the audience, the strings suspend their sorrowful bowing for a breath)

“we tried to ignore them…”
(the singer lets a single solitary tear flow down her right cheek and turns her head away from the audience in an i-can’t-even-face-you-right-now moment).

and the crowd goes wild!!!!! such PAIN. such GRAVITAS!

would this make people happy?
maybe. it would be within a context they could rely on, feel safe in, write off.
“she’s sad! of course she’s sad! she had an abortion! abortion is sad! abortion is personal and emotional! look, she is expressing directly the way she should feel about this! and we don’t joke about things that are personal and emotional and sad!”

wait, what?

don’t we?

i do.

i have to.

you’re damn right this shit makes people uncomfortable.
it makes people uncomfortable to hear ANYONE talking about abortion and rape bluntly, much less talking about it LIKE THIS….

and i think it makes people uncomfortable to hear the truth about a very real and sick situation:
if you don’t know – or have never encountered – a teenager who is going through intense heavy experiences (like rape, abortion, eating disorders, abuse, fill-in-the-blank)
and is laughing these things off like THEY DON’T MATTER, then you are not ALIVE and AWAKE and living on this planet.
IT’S HAPPENING EVERYWHERE. i see it all the time. it’s called being a confused teenager. it’s real. it SUCKS.

abortion is serious. rape is serious. lots of things are serious. do they think i’m blind?

the song isn’t even so much ABOUT those topics, it’s about denial, it’s about a girl who can’t find it in herself to take her situation seriously.
that girl exists, everywhere. you probably know her. you’ve probably met her. you might be her.

you might not even like this song.

it doesn’t matter.

our COLLECTIVE freedom to approach situations with humor, with irony, with anger, with sadness, with darkness, with an edge, from a different perspective, from within the situation…it’s ESSENTIAL.
we have to agree about this or we ALL get in trouble.

the minute you discount humor, you give evil things POWER. you fuel them. you let them rule you.

so, amanda (you ask)…should we joke about cancer? dead babies? the holocaust?

have you seen “life is beautiful?”

that movie is not a joke about the holocaust. it does not make light of the holocaust…the same way that my song does not “make light” of abortion.
it shows how humor exists in darkness. how it can, how it MUST.
humor and darkness are opposite sides of the same coin.
there is a reason that our funniest comedians have usually had bizarre and fucked-up childhoods.
we can’t afford to abandon the disposition of humor, if we do….we’re lost.

humor SAVES us. sometimes literally.

humor is one of the strongest weapon that human beings have against suffering, death and fear.

i could try to win points by talking about how i’ve been date raped (i have been, when i was 20) or how I have every right to joke about this if i want to because i’ve had an abortion myself (i have, when i was 17), but i actually DON’T believe those experiences should lend me any credibility, any more so than i believe the director of “life is beautiful” had to have been an auschwitz victim in order to direct that film.
i should be allowed to write about, sing about, joke about anything that moves me.
so should you. so should everyone.

an artist’s (and a human being’s) freedom to do that, without fear of retribution, is the cornerstone of what keeps the world moving forward, not backwards, not standing still.

i’m sure there’s a part of me (it seems obvious) that was processing my pain, coming to terms with my experiences through the song.
that’s what i do. i’m a songwriter who writes about personal shit.
but because i chose to do it in a black-humor way, with my tongue shoved firmly in the side of my cheek….does that make it less valid?

it shouldn’t.

in art, everything must be fair game, everything must be explorable, everything must be speakable, or we go BACKWARDS! we go DOWN!

everything can be offensive to somebody. of course.
i’d be HAPPY to know that the song out there is going to offend some people….not because i have any interest in making people upset, but because i think it’s better
to talk about these things, argue about them, be upset about them, push them out into the open air, stir the pot around. better that, always, than to sweep them under the rug.

in the united states in 1996, about 1.3 MILLION women had an abortion. about half those women were under 25.
and i can assure you, there were approximately 1.3 million different reactions, experiences and stories behind those abortions.
countless girls have been raped or date-raped. are we allowed to talk about it, joke about it, turn it over from every side and try figure it our own confused reaction to it?
or is that just too icky, uncomfortable … and shameful?

should we just cry about it demurely and hope that the proper reaction, the one that society deems appropriate, will make it go away?

fuck that shit.

love
AFP

p.s. these are the outlets refusing to play the video or air the song on radio. feel free to help me get the song on air. be nice to them.
they’re just people. write them a letter and tell them how you feel. request the song. if you want, tell them about your rape and abortion.
you know….hug it out!
if you’re from the uk, tell them so, and where. if you’re from elsewhere, just….i don’t know, hug it out internationally. thank you guys.

NME TV: http://www.nme.com/contact

Kerrang! TV: http://www2.kerrang.com/KerrangTV/contact.html

Scuzz TV: Email contact [AT] scuzz [DOT] tv and/or moshpit [AT] scuzz [DOT] tv

Q: Email qtvfeedback [AT] bauerconsumer [DOT] com

MTV: http://www.mtv.co.uk/contact

The Box: http://www.thebox.co.uk/feedback.asp

(and if you’re feeling extra nice, send the bbc a thank you letter for airing the song on bbc 6 yesterday: go to www.bbc.co.uk/feedback
and can i also point out the irony here that the BBC has historically banned several number one hits in the uk, including songs by the sex pistols and frankie goes to hollywood. maybe we should actually call and complain. they’re ruining my punk rock cred by spinning my shit.)

p.s.s.
Hi Amanda,

Your Oasis video was one of the things that got me thinking about abortion in context w/ where the country is right now.  I ran across some lame comments of the “ohhh, it’s not appropriate to joke about that” variety about Oasis by random “critics” & it drove me nuts.  If you can’t joke about rape, abortion, & fundamentalist christians, what CAN you joke about?

So this & more led to me blogging about why (despite the setbacks w/ Prop 8 & its ilk) LBGTs have been more successful in making some inroads w/ Mainstream America™ than pro-choicers.

http://katrinagalore.blogspot.com/2008/11/no-one-ever-changes-their-mind-about.html

XOXO
Katrina

p.s.s.s. the clutes still rock. i’m so tired.
goodnight from upstairs. see you in london tomorrow. show is sold out. i’m psyched.

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  • Sierra

    “if i just slowed it way down and played it in a minor key.
    think about it. if they heard the same lyrics against the backdrop of a very sad and liliting piano, maybe with some tear-jerking strings thrown in for good measure, would they take issue?”

    Your so right!
    ahh! I love you! <3
    Love the picture! Get some sleep! :)

  • Laura

    Every fucking word. Amanda, I love you.

    I wrote this in a letter to a friend a few weeks ago: “Oasis reminds me so much of my teenage years – not that I got raped and had an abortion (I didn’t), but that kind of stuff was always happening to people at school. It’s more the whole atmosphere, the stark tragedy and funky tights and eyeshadow and upbeat music. The relentless cheeriness in spite of it all has such a resonance for me. And you must see the video – it’s so funny and so glaringly wrong. ”

    See you tonight! I’ll be AfP-Human-Scenery-Project-ing with a chess theme. Can’t wait.

    xxx

  • http://myspace.com/WHRWpenguins sourlullabies

    A-fucking-MEN.

    Brilliantly articulated.

    I love Oasis, but was hesitant to play it even on college radio in the United States (because it may fall under my station’s policies about the FCC’s definition of “indency” and my radio show was not during the “safe harbor” airtime, which is 10pm to 6am). One night at 10pm I did a sign up show when regular programming ended last December. I played Oasis. RIGHT AFTER the song ended I received a call in the studio, despite introducing the track before I played it, the caller wanted to know “WHO IS SINGING THIS SONG, WHAT IS THIS SONG CALLED?!” …

    The song is not offensive, there is no OPINION made about religion, date rape or abortions, there is no offensive speech – is just the mere fact that the content of the lyrics MENTIONS these subject – is that what makes it “offensive”?

  • Krissy

    “Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsutible for comedy is to admit defeat.” Peter Sellers.

  • Alex

    All I can say is AMEN.

  • WWKD

    I think the problem, or at least a chunk of it, lies within society’s collective opinion. Maybe I’m being far optimistic, but I’d like to believe that more people “get” the song, or at least understand that you’re not praising abortion for it’s comedic value. I think people are afraid that other’s think that though, and instead of saying ‘No, you’re wrong, that’s not it at all”, they just sit down and shut up for fear that other people will think they find comedic pleasure in abortion by proxy.

    Either way, people need to open their eyes and realize what the song is(n’t) about, or they need to stop being so concerned about how a few ignorant people may perceive them.

    Anywho, great read. Whatever happens, don’t let them get to you. You’re a pillar for all of us.

  • SpookySpiderChandelierOMDD

    You are so so right.
    What would happen if we coudn’t use humour to boost our spirits?
    Not much.

  • Arraine

    That IS absurd. Although as a world culture right now our habit seems to be cover things up and hide them away if they’re even the least bit uncomfortable for anybody.

    On a lighter note, this happens to be my favorite music video and its kind of ironic that I chose today of all days to dress as you in it :-)

  • Mark

    All the UK media outlets are scared shitless at the moment in the wake of the whole Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross/Andrew Sachs thing. Once bitten, twice shy. They’ll get over it – bad timing for you, but we’ve been dealing with it for weeks now. It’s incredibly frustrating to be patronised by your own peers! Oasis is a great song and destined for epic internet love. Don’t sweat the TV kids being so lily-livered, nobody listens to them anyway.

    • PD89

      Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say.

  • DRKucharski

    you comment:
    “if you cannot sense the irony in this song, you’re about two intelligence points above a kumquat.”

    Sorry I have to disagree. I believe that yes even a kumquat would sense the irony!! That is WHAT I LOVE MOST about this song!! I’m the father of 2 daughters and can identify with the NEED to be able to laugh, joke and talk about these very issues!! Otherwise NOTHING gets said! then how are they gonna learn from those mistakes unless the make them themselves!! Thanks for getting the word out there, even if the KUMQUATS are unwilling to HEAR! Peace, Love and Light!

  • rubie

    i love you.

  • lentower

    amanda

    ask one of the klutes to put a copy of Robert Heinlein’s
    Stranger in a Strange Land in your hands

    the actual protagonist,
    Jubal Harshaw,
    has several exquisite teaching conversations with other characters

    there are two worth skimming for
    (i’m a day away from my copies …)

    one is on what jokes and humor are actually about.
    why we have to laugh.
    an interesting take on the darkness of humor from a different pov

    the other is in Jubal’s sculpture gallery,
    where he teaches another character how to look @ sculpture

    this is one of two books i have read more than a dozen times
    (no,

    well ok

    swiss family robinson
    in my single digit years, i haven’t picked it up since …
    )

    fair warning: Heinlein is not good at characters,
    and especially not good at women characters

    but it’s a lousy reason to not read him

    record the minor key version of oasis
    insist they play it, then the upbeat one …

    try to do this on some talk shows – both versions
    then talk about it
    that is bring the blog to the media
    even via phone

    transferring memes about beliefs is one of the hardest thing there is to do
    (in Richard Dawkins original sense of the word,
    not the one on the net about viral quizzes)

  • Briar

    You are so right, Amanda. As usual. Consider NME and Kerrang! contacted, and the rest will happen in the morning.
    Love,
    Briar

  • http://www.wavinghand.com Matt L.

    what an interesting time for this to happen. I just turned in a proposal to do a photo exhibition about “the many emotions of abortion” and although has a serious tone about what men and women have to say about abortion, offers up a spectrum of emotions, but I have been wary to do such a project based on the “PC” nature of it, but now I know to go ahead with it, Thanks so much for the inspiration.

  • http://www.myspace.com/wwonka666 Michael

    You are simply amazing in every way.

  • casket4mytears

    Amanda, you have nailed it all with this entry. I am absolutely appalled and will happily write many, many intelligently formed emails on this matter to the parties above.

    Humour in darkness is one of the things that saved me, no question. I hit absolute rock bottom in my life in the year 2000. I was an eating disordered, self-injuring suicidal mess due to date rape, molestation, emotional/mental abuse and other lovely life events. By the time I reached 2004, when I first found your music, I’d had enough of crying. Did these things hurt me still? Sure. They always will cause me pain to reflect on. They have shaped me. But they have also made me stronger, led to me meeting some of the greatest people and friends ever, and I will never regret a single tear, a single scar on my body. That said, I said to myself, “It’s laugh or cry. And I’m tired of crying.” And so I began to laugh. I would marvel at the dripping sarcastic wit of “thank you for your pity/you are too kind”. I make some of the best jokes about rape and self-injury. I can take joking as it is – Oasis being a prime example and one of my favourite tracks on your album – and I can also very seriously counsel people with eating disorders and hold their hands as they cry, and be a decent and genuine person in both modes.

    If Katy Perry can make a mockery of lesbianism, if they can play Eminem’s Guilty Conscience non-stop (which condoned date rape as being fine ‘as long as she has hair on her pussy’), if Nickelback can have lyrics like “I like your pants around your feet” and (paraphrasing this next) “no is never the answer – sex is always the answer”, and if Paris Hilton is allowed to air the musical atrocity and complete rip-off of UB-40 known as Stars Are Blind, then what is their damage?

    Goddamn, I’m so infuriated I’m creating run-on sentences… THAT is rage.

    This makes me want to don my manifesto t and write many letters.

    • casket4mytears

      http://casket4mytears.vox.com/library/post/black-humour-in-arts-oh-heavens.html

      I’ve blogged (this will cc automatically to my Livejournal as well as my Multiply) and emailed the letter within to all of the above, except the BBC6 of course.

      • http://blissful-madness.com/ Cris

        Would you mind it if I spread the link around with an excerpt from your entry on my blogs? I’m on LiveJournal and WordPress and DevaintART has a blog. Anything to help create awareness…

        • casket4mytears

          Feel free to do so! That would be awesome!!

    • Em Jay

      I’d like to add an example of another song, the made-for-audience band – if they can be called that – the pussy cat dolls. With lyrics intended for young girls to sing such as “When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies, When I grow up, I wanna see the world, Drive nice cars, I wanna have boobies” and I find it funny that the radio edit simply changes the word from boobies to groupies :-/

    • jessica

      dont forget the eminem song bonnie and clyde which is about the sick sadistic bastard taking his child along with him as he dumps his dead wife’s body in a river after murdering her.

      apparently DOMESTIC VIOLENCE is ok but talking about RAPE is not.
      I know what it is- they dont want us talking about rape. They want us alone and scared and denying it ever happened.
      Well guess what it happens. It happened to me. It’s still happening out there somewhere at this minute.
      WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS
      keeping us silenced is effectively killing us and god bless u Amanda for letting your voice be heard
      and giving confidence to those of us afraid of our own voices.

      at 15 i was raped and you know what I thought it was my fault. I was the girl in this song making light of what happened because it was too scary to confront reality and I would have destroyed myself.
      I’m 23 now and I hear this song and its taken YEARS to get over what has happened
      but by GOD if i want to joke about it I think I fucking deserve to be able to.

  • brucecostella

    Hey Amanda, great entry. I think it’s all very silly if we can’t step back and laugh at ourselves, if only for a song.

    I have a question about being sick and performing. I do a lot of musical theatre and whatnot, but I’ve yet to have the misfortune of getting sick before/during a show. I figure since you’ve toured a lot you must have some experience in this area. What do you do in the event that you get omgwtflollercaust sick? Any specific tips/medicines/pagan rituals you might know that help?

    Bruce

  • Maxnot

    “in art, everything must be fair game, everything must be explorable, everything must be speakable, or we go BACKWARDS! we go DOWN!”

    I could not agree more. Thanks to the absurdity of the current state of affairs that the UK is in where things are getting taken out of context, I now face living the next few years watching comedy on TV that is too toned down, radio becomes even more inoffensive than it already is and all sense of reality and perspective is lost. There are certain newspaper publications that are also not helping, and leading a rally call to drive us back into the 50s.

    Charlie Brooker explains this so much better than me. He has a show called Screenwipe on the BBC (a show about television) and he talked at length about the Jonathan Ross/Russel Brand saga. Well worth a watch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkBgw8vdIp0).

    II’m babbling on I think. Don’t worry about it too much. At the end of the day, if someone can’t recognise the humour of Oasis, they’re probably better off listening to Cliff Richard and Daniel O’ Donnell albums.

    PS – Looking forward to tomorrow!

  • manders

    the main reason i’m in love with your music is because of how brave you are with everything you write/ sing about. that’s what sets you apart from other “number 1 hits”.

    if you’re not bold with what you do, there’s no point in doing it. If people can’t appreciate music that’s bold and brave and that challenges the modern mindset, there’s no point in having music. People who don’t appreciate it, don’t deserve it.

  • http://idealize.livejournal.com kay-elle

    even your words cannot contain your energy & passion. you feel them coming off the page in waves.

  • http://WWW.MYSPACE.COM/JESSICAALLYNROCK Jessica Allyn

    Jesus, Amanda! I fucking love you!

    You just said a mouthful. – And, I couldn’t agree with you more on EVERYTHING you just said.

    “WHEN YOU CANNOT JOKE ABOUT THE DARKNESS OF LIFE, THAT’S WHEN THE DARKNESS TAKES OVER.”

    I often say I laugh, because I will cry if I don’t. (It’s from Hedwig and the Angry Inch).
    That’s how I write my music. – And it’s how I will continue to write until I die. I find it to be actually quite cathartic.

    Never change. EVER. Never compromise your art for anyone, or anything. You are incredible. You are an inspiration. You are living, breathing, fucking REVOLUTION!

  • Fudgestix

    This all boils down to the Daily Mail in some way. They and their readers have created such a storm about utter bollocks in recent years that the media is actually frightened.

    Fuck them all. The song is fantastic, and all us sane folks know it!

    Oddly enough, Tim Minchin says something very similar in his new DVD, which I just happened to be watching as you posted this. Great minds think alike! (If you haven’t heard/seen him, you should.)

    xxx

  • Treason

    This was a fantastic, insightful, wonderful rant! Unfortunately the people who need to understand it most
    A. Won’t be reading it (obviously you are preaching to the choir here) and
    B. Most of them wouldn’t care even if they did read it.

    Nothing you say would convince them that the song has value.
    Most of the people who would object to this song have a value/moral system that is governed by one religion or another. Most of which consider abortion (and sex, to a large extent) a mortal sin.
    They can’t conceive of a world where sex and the joys, mistakes, pleasure and pain that accompany it are discussed so openly and with such candor.
    Ironic or not, they will only hear that she happily and offhandedly discusses the “murder” of her unborn child after she was such a drunk harlot at the party she attended.
    They will think it will only lead to girls thinking that this is alright.

    We’re with you, obviously.
    Take heart however, that it seems (I can’t be sure but it certainly feels that way) that the younger generation is a bit more open to discussing things in this manner, more candid and more understanding of different cultures and beliefs.
    That may be wishful thinking on my part but I’m rolling with it. It’s part of my hope for the future of the human race. :)

    Hearts to you.
    Nikki

  • Jen

    “i suggested that i might be allowed to play it if i just slowed it way down and played it in a minor key.”

    Wait, I think I’ve heard that one before…is it Ben Folds’ “Brick”? *G*

    Just kidding, sort of. I love”Brick,” and I love your cover of it, and I would still love “Oasis” if it was slow and sad, but the point is freedom of creation and honest expression, and removing some of the social stigma that surrounds too many of these issues. Talk about it, laugh about it, DEAL WITH IT. Be a human being, accept yourself and others and show your belly proudly!

    • casket4mytears

      LOL I was thinking that mayself – that if they actually agreed to let you do that, you could be like, “That song already happened and it’s called BRICK… and the guy who produced OASIS freaking SANG that one.”

      • http://www.myspace.com/thecherriedpickles procrastinating

        Yeah, I was thinking it too.

  • http://www.myspace.com/omfgjimi heypigyeayou

    I’ll do whatever I can do to help you. People just assume that you have everything under control because of your success as a musician, they don’t get that your just human, and can’t fight every battle by yourself. Consider 7 more letters sent.

    love james

  • rahb

    i love what you do. that’s a great vidoe, it really is.

  • circuitry

    Couldn’t agree more. Couldn’t express it clearer. You have all my support and my (more or less nice) complaint&request letters (there they go!). I hope in the end our combined forces sum up to form a storm that brings out the field of fucking corncobs these guys have deeply stuck up their asses.

    Oh, and the song/video combo is the definition of extraordinary.

  • neverender

    I went to a dresden dolls gig at the astoria once and before i went in there were people with postcards and you could write down secrets to put in a box. You were then handed a key. My secret that i wrote down and put in the box- i was raped and then had an abortion. To this very day I have never told anyone about it due to the way people would react.

  • Ana

    Amanda, have you seen Le Scaphandre et Le Papillon (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly)?
    It is this French movie that came out last year, and your post strongly reminded me of it. It is an amazing work of art, based on the book written by Jean-Dominique Bauby while he was fully paralyzed, and was only able to dictate it to an attendant by blinking his eyes at the letter he wanted when she recited the alphabet.
    Sounds tragic, right?
    I was so surprised to discover there was so much humour in the movie. There’s tragedy, of course. But there’s so much more than that. You get to hear Bauby’s thoughts, and here he is immobilized from head to foot, but what he is thinking about is the nurse’s breasts. Little moments like that really get at the complexity of tragic situations, at how oftentimes there is so much more going on than just sorrow or sadness. And it’s only by addressing that complexity that you can see or make the way out of that situation, otherwise you are just trapped.

    I am also reminded of something Tori Amos said in her introduction to Neil Gaiman’s Death: The High Cost of LIving, which was brilliant.
    “If all I can say is I’m not in this swamp, I’m not in this swamp, then there is not a rope in front of me and there is not an alligator behind me and there is not a girl sitting at the edge eating a hot dog and if I believe that, then dying would be the only answer because then Death couldn’t come and say Peachy to me anymore and after all she has a brother who believes in hope.”
    It might sound a bit fanciful, but that’s just Tori’s way. I think it really speaks to what you are saying. You can read the full introduction here:http://www.hereinmyhead.com/neil/death.html
    And of course I recommend going out and buying the book, it is absolutely lovely.

  • MaryMactavish

    I’m reminded of Squeeze’s Vicky Verky, and how intense it was for me 20 years ago, when I first heard it, because it’s so perky. It would have lost so much meaning were it toned down – and it wasn’t nearly as meaning-thick as Oasis.

  • http://www.xanga.com/idiotfangirl idiotfangirl

    wow.

    what silly people.

    you should be played/broadcast EVERYWHERE

    you are my hero.

  • http://tinkr.net mace

    Love the song, love the video, love you. There will always be groups of people that don’t get it, but thankfully you don’t need them as much these days with the internet. I blogged about you today, and with tell everybody I know about that greatness that is Amanda Fucking Palmer.

  • http://www.breagrant.com brea

    for the record, your fans LOVE this song. i couldn’t live without.

    anyone who won’t play it is an idiot.

  • mgfarrelly

    Amanda, you are a revelation. I work with young adults (I’m a librarian) and I see how teens get talked at like everything in life is a very special episode of “Family Ties”. If a YA book DARES to have a sense of humor or present any SERIOUS issue (race, rape, religion, drugs, death, suicide, depression) without loads of ‘minor keys’ adults go bananas. Kids, those impressionable balls of mud that everyone frets over? They get it. They want to hear different takes on “heavy” subjects, it helps them understand other points of view and makes them well-rounded humans.

    And adults should be talking about these issues without the need for a dirge playing in the background.

    Thank you for the song and for the post and for being generally made of awesome
    -MG

  • http://myspace.com/deathxxbyxxzymosis Sophie Morris

    I completely agree with you, but the general public often does not ‘get’ art the way it is meant to be viewed.* I think that’s what these radio stations and things are thinking (if they even get it themselves). They just don’t want people to get offended and complain, because then they think they will stop listening which is, of course, bad for them.

    I really think censorship is a big problem for the art world. Sometimes I wish people could just look at art and find their own meaning in it instead of searching for something wrong with it JUST because it’s not typical. That happens with so much modern art ( “I don’t get it, it’s just stripes!!”), but I guess that’s just the way it is. (Sometimes the point is for people to not get it, I think, because it MAKES people think, and the real problem with the world is that no one’s thinking.) I guess that’s why I slightly disagree with the kumquat comment, because maybe someone who is listening to your song is just someone who doesn’t get art or isn’t around it much. By listening to it, maybe they will start to understand more and more art. It could have a wonderful snowball affect on someone. And in the far off future, they’ll come back to the song and have a whole new opinion on it after they see art in a different light! But I regress……

    However, I do like the varied opinions of art. Whenever I create something I try not to concentrate on what I think it’s about because that’s… just not what works for me. I like to figure out what it’s about after it’s finished, just like anyone else who might see it. Everyone is going to have their own opinion no matter what.

    Anyways, none of this really applies to you, because no one can contemplate your song if they don’t hear it in the first place. The radio should really be concentrating if it will get them listeners, if that’s what they’re really going for. The more outraging the song, the better for them, I say. The more people who are pissed at the song, the more they will listen to it, right?

    I feel pretty terrible about that, censorship is a funny funny thing.

    Good luck getting your song on the radio!!

    -Sophie Morris

    *some is not meant to be viewed or not meant to be viewed a certain way, but you know what I mean.

  • http://www.myspace.com/bullimacidalbarbiedoll Destiny Belladonna

    I think your Amazing Amanda Palmer

  • Missy

    Amen. Really well said.

  • http://spiffykt.blogspot.com/ spiffykt

    Whoa. Rather intense post. Thank you for writing it.

    Tangentally, I read the line “everything must be explorable” as “everything must be explodable,” which I think is equally appropriate.

  • Elizabeth

    Oh, amanda.

    This blog touched me so much. I can’t even begin to…start, holy fuck. I, like so many others, have been through all manner of absurd and senseless tragedy and I can tell you right now, without a shadow of a doubt, that if you can not laugh, it will break you. Laughter is not only medicine, it is the beginning, middle, and end of the healing process. Without it, what are we? What situation lacks humor? None. There is absurdity in every facet of life, and in every moment of absurdity, there is laughter.

    Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is why your art means so very much to me.

    -Elizabeth

  • chaynicole

    i wish i could just hug you right now.
    i just want to hug you.

    truthfully, im feeling a little guilty. i took this song probably a little too literally. i sent you an email about oasis, actually. don’t know if you ever got it, though.
    i appreciate and love every single word you said in this blog.

    i was raped. twice. i considered abortion. i miscarried instead.
    although i often find that im still in a dark, depressed, sad place a lot of the time, i strive every single day to find the good in it. i try to take it as lightly as i can. sometimes i find random people i barely/don’t even know and just say, hey i was raped twice in my life. NOT because i want sympathy in any way. but because, you’re right – there is no reason to sweep it all under the rug! it happens! it is a big part of a lot of lives!!…. okay, okay. i do feel a bit like a hypocrite because although i tell random people what has happened to me in the past, ive yet to tell the majority of my family… but part of that is being afraid that they will be angry with me. i told my mother when i was raped at 14 and she pretty much disowned me because of it. in her eyes, i was a whore.

    amanda, i have a question for you. you dont have to answer if you don’t want to. but im curious.
    were you able to tell your family that you had been raped? did they know about your abortion?

    anyways, i think i might print out this blog post of yours. your words are so powerful and meaningful and… i can’t even begin to express how incredibly appreciative i am for this post.

    *sending you hugs, just because youre so fucking amazing*

    don’t be freaked out or anything, but i envy you so much. you are incredibly strong in my eyes to be able to put these things out there, especially in such a pop-y, catchy song. i hope someday i can be as strong as you. i’ll probably never sell a million records with a song talking lightly about rape, but i hope that i can find the strength that you have and be able to approach it in such a light manner.

    to say it bluntly: the song is fucking amazing. you are fucking amazing. anyone who thinks otherwise is a complete douche.

    thankyouthankyouthankyou :)

    LOVE LOVE LOVE <3

    -Chay

    • jessica

      I also haven’t told any of my family about my (date) rape. The only place I’ve ever acknowledged it is on the internet to random strangers. The fact that someone out there understood what I was going through got me through and I survived. Plus I know there are assholes out there who would say things like “its your fault for getting drunk”, “you were asking for it”, etc. So I dont tell people unless they are people I can trust.

  • Sally

    Man, Amanda! Way to hate on the kumquats! That’s really politically incorrect, to make light of the unfortunately low intelligence of kumquats. It’s right up there with making light of abortion and rape and signed photographs from Oasis and fundamentalists or the UK or whatever.

    And I thought we were nuts over here in the US…what’s going on in the UK!? Obviously I’m missing something on my daily readings of the bbc…

  • henry

    I’ve always thought that kumquats tasted like the minds of the ignorant… :(

  • Emily

    The only thing Oasis is missing is a sixth grade outbreak of herpes. I love it, I love you.

  • Imogine

    Jesus.

    You just made a point that my siblings and I are hoping to make nation wide with our story. It’s not the saddest story. It’s damn hilarious, because that is what we do.

    We laugh, we play music, I paint, he plays, she writes, and our love for each other is thick.

    We’ve been through shit. I can’t say it’s worse shit than anyone else, but it’s happened. Abuse, mentally and physically, poverty, whatever the fuck makes a good sob story.

    but that’s the thing. It ISN’T our sob story.

    It only serves as comic relief.

    If you cannot see the humor in the dark situations, then you will die. You won’t be able to keep going. It is so important that people always turn their face to the sun.

    And that’s how I felt about Oasis.

    And I fucking love you 10,000x over for saying that, Amanda. Seriously.

  • CJ

    I think that while I agree that in art most things are explorable (I would have to draw the line at a song I heard once that encouraged people to go out and molest children) but what seems to be forgotten here is that while you have the right to write and sing and distribute the song, others have the right to not want to listen to it.

    You are saying that these outlets should air your song. Why? There is no law that says Viacom has to air your song. Granted, there is also no law that says you have to be happy about their decision.

    The same legal concept that protects your right to write and sing and distribute this song also protects their right to not air it. You can’t have it both ways.

    You do a magnificent job about putting forth humor about rape and abortion, but I don’t see any humor about this rejection of your song. Why not?

  • http://www.mikarrhea.com Mika Cooper

    As you note, “Oasis” pokes fun not at binge drinking, abortion, & date rape but rather at a certain sort of empty-headed pop-infatuated teenager who blithely refuses to treat those subjects with the seriousness they deserve and who, instead, idolizes pop bands. It’s a very moral, not to say very moralistic, song, paradoxically standing squarely in the ethical camp of the people who would censor it! Yes, we laugh at the depictions of her guzzling the forty, getting taken from behind, and having her abortion as if it were a party (and being scowled at by the unbrokenly sullen Becca). But that’s because we’re seeing those things through her lens, a lens that the song and video are unmistakably savagely mocking. The video could well be a public service announcement in favor of teenagers’ living their lives more responsibly!

    Please forgive my noting that those who see the song as minimizing the seriousness of binge drinking, abortion, & date rape are flat wrong, plain and simple. They miss the song’s meaning because they don’t understand satire and irony. They could say till they’re blue in the face that the song is minimizing the seriousness of these issues, but they’d still be wrong. And I would have flunked them in freshman English.

    • Vindemiatrix

      I think you’re missing the point. “A certain sort of empty-headed pop-infatuated teenager who blithely refuses to treat those subjects with the seriousness they deserve and who, instead, idolizes pop bands”? No, Mika, I don’t think that’s what Amanda meant. Yes the girl comes off as an airhead – but the point is that that is her COPING MECHANISM, that by finding such happiness in something like a signed photograph she’s brushing off all the bad things that have happened to her. And that doesn’t make her stupid or empty-headed – it makes her HUMAN. Compartmentalising, coping with humour, just trying to carry on living… That’s what’s going on here. If you really see this as a ‘moralistic’ song that’s ‘savagely mocking’ someone ‘who refuses to treat these subjects with the seriousness they deserve’, you need to rethink. After all Amanda’s said about humour being necessary and human, do you really think that’s what’s going on? Your idea that the girl is being criticised for not being SERIOUS enough completely misses the point that this blog was trying to underline.

      • jessica

        “Compartmentalising”
        EXACTLY.
        sorry I was looking for this word earlier
        As a coping mechanism I did this.
        I locked the rape in the back part of my brain where it was hidden away and couldn’t hurt me
        Until i was ready to, years later when I was mature and self-confident enough.

  • sarah

    Being someone who has been raped and knowing quite a few women who’ve had abortions i have to say that i was not offended in the least by Oasis. In fact every time i hear it it makes me smile :) You wrote a fucking great song and screw anyone who thinks it’s too controversial is an idiot! Seriously.

    • jessica

      Yea If anyone should be offended its the people who are having a hard enough time choosing to have an abortion
      only to be lectured and proselytized by the assholes who stand in front on women’s clinics. There’s a reason to be offended. This song is not a reason.

  • http://cinephage.wordpress.com Jonathan Simmons

    I agree with you, and I found this post moving, but I’m still conflicted. It’s a difficult place to be, finding yourself laughing at the darkness when no one else is–when they are in fact glaring at you, judging you for dealing with pain (yours or someone else’s) in such a manner. I think an artist can get away with more than the guy or girl having a conversation by the water cooler.

  • Kaylee

    I showed the video to my friend who is pro-choice and she actually was horrified. She was just like, “That’s awful!” But none of us could see why. She just thought it was icky and not okay to sing about like that. I thought the song was ridiculously funny, and the message, if people were listening, is there. And it is not “go have 10,000 abortions and kill babies”.

    I agree, things should be talked about. Abortions exist. To not talk about them while they exist is a crime in itself.

  • Bekkah Bean

    Just breathe in and out.
    think evverything will be okay.
    and go on.

    lifes hard, but all in good time

    love bean.

  • http://davidsdoll.com jessie

    I absolutely loved Oasis, and I got the irony from the first time that I heard it.

  • Whit (whitcantwit on Twitter)

    Amanda,

    As someone who was raped one year ago, “Oasis” spoke to me like no other song on the topic ever had. You know why? Because you’re right: when things are so unbelievably shitty you can barely get out of bed but you *have* to because there’s rent to pay and your friend is having boyfriend drama and you’ve got a cat to feed and a car to detail and laundry to do, you deal. You put on a smile and a lot of makeup and you cover up the pain and compartmentalize it and make it as easy to digest as possible.

    When I came clean about the rape to a select group of people, one of my so-called friends told me “you couldn’t have been raped! You’re so happy! And silly and light and making fun of things!”

    “Oasis” spoke to me, I suppose, because it nailed the circumstances. Rape victims don’t have the fucking time or the resources to wallow. We have lives just like the rest of humanity. And while it’s awfully convenient to dress us up in tragedy and misery and “wah woe is me” victimhood, in the meantime, we still have the rest of our lives to address, and doesn’t putting a pretty ribbon on the situation just make it easier? Because people – my close friends – didn’t necessarily buy it when I did want to talk about the situation seriously. I was just some lying slut who wanted some attention.

    “Oasis” was my song of 2008 and it got me through the darkest time of my life, and it even made me laugh. In short: keep fighting the good fight, Amanda.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/59473481@N00/ Jordan

    I LOVE YOU!!!

    People think that if you’ve been raped you are damaged good forever and ever and your life is fucking over and you can never be happy again. Its easy to wallow in your own self pity and pain, its FUCKING HARD to rise above and find a way to laugh, even if its at yourself. People think that people who have been raped become maiden aunts and live in dark houses with hundreds of cats, and they don’t realize that they go on to have great and fulfilling lives, and even have great sex.

    Somebody has to be champion, somebody has to be the open the doors and somebody has to be the one to say the things that the rest of us don’t know how to. It looks like that person might have to be you.

    Thank you for being you. Every fucked up thing you have had to endure is NOT for nothing, and hopefully that makes it easier for you to deal with.

    • jessica

      whats wrong with having hundreds of cats :P

  • http://thesleepypanda.etsy.com Candi O.

    You’re brilliant and I think every one of your TRUE fans knows exactly what you meant with Oasis.
    *HUGS*
    I’ll write to them. I hope it helps <3

  • Cas

    I’m sure there is an Oscar Wilde quote for this.
    There’s an Oscar Wilde quote for everything.
    “Art mus be loved for its own sake,an not criticized by a standard of morality”
    “The young artist who paints nothing but beautiful things…misses half the world”
    and maybe
    “Life imitates art far more than art imitates life”
    Sorry, I just borrowed a book of Oscar Wilde quotes from the Library.
    Anyways, i could not agree with you more if I tried…
    I see it every day in my life, people to afraid to discuss these things, and appalled if you were ever to make a joke.
    I wish everyone could see it this way.
    Why not submit this as an editorial to a magazine (or something)?
    With some minor editing and style tweaks it could be a good one.

    • jessica

      oscar wilde is awesome <3 <3 <3

  • http://www.myspace.com/panparalospobres Carlos

    And this is why a have your blog in my bookmarks and read it every time you send a myspace bulletin!

    It fucking worth the time!

    P.S. When I heard “Oasis” I fell in love with the song! it’s part of the soundtrack for my life! Fucking keep rocking and fucking come to Mexico City! FUCK

    P.S.S. I hope you read this

  • Shayla

    like rubie said. I love you.

  • http://www.myspace.com/jewnifur jewn

    it’s sad that people just don’t get it. that they just don’t get life. or rather, that they just don’t get that life is REAL (because i don’t even get life, i just know i can’t hide from it).

    please never stop speaking your mind (i’m not too worried about that happening, just sayin’).

    i believe that all of your fans (and anyone who took the time to REALLY listen to oasis and not just start throwing a fit at the “taboo” words that stand out..) while reading this blog are probably slamming their fist down screaming “exactly!!!!!!”, “DAMN RIGHT, AMANDA!”, “MUTHERFUCKAS!” and other appropriate phrases.

    love will get you through these non-easy times.

    btw, awesome photo shoot today, you sexy thang.

    sweet dreams.

  • http://www.demonminds.com/tales/the_grave_rubbers.html bellamy_elliott

    Funny thing is, I just posted the “Oasis” video on my Facebook wall. The song was immediately one of my favorites when I first heard the entire album. I loved the fact someone out there was brave and smart enough to poke fun at issues people so vehemently deem as “off-limits.” To slow down the temp would be to completely throw out the artistic integrity of the whole song. The video compliments its over-the-top popiness with toe-curling glee. I was GIDDY when I saw the video and saw it lived up to the perfection of the song. I really sound like I’m kissing your ass, Amanda, but seriously, “Oasis” is one of my favorite songs and never fails to cheer me up, ironically. A signed Oasis picture is to Amanda Palmer as a morning of great writing is to me: a house could fall on us, but this one little thing makes the day absolutely fantastic.

    I get you. People who don’t are completely missing the point of the song.

  • Christy

    enjoyed reading this. loved your thoughts. i couldnt agree more. love the song. and the irony is perfect. xo

  • jyn

    Thank you for posting this. I’ve been following the situation between you and Roadrunner for my column for The Chicago Examiner, now thanks to one of your fans and I totally stand behind you and the Rebellyon, as do most of my readers from the comments I’ve been getting.

    Best luck to all you and keep fighting. I will do my best to keep documenting your efforts. You are truly a gifted artist and your fans are clearly wonderful for all their support. I plan to have something up in the next few days reguarding the instruction in the blog to email the networks regarding “Oasis”

    Jyn Radakovits

    Ps. You may view the articles here if anyone reading this is intrested or wants to keep reporting on the Rebellyon and its efforts.
    http://www.examiner.com/x-1823-chicago-indie-music-examiner

  • http://www.myspace.com/cancankant Angela Martin

    Amanda…hopefully they play this song. It’s catchy as hell and frankly, I love it. I’ll actually say I did post the video in hopes of getting rid of an “old high school friend” of mine. She’s a fundie. She posted a Bible verse for me one day, quite randomly. I, in return, posted Oasis. She didn’t take the bait, but still criticizes me quite a lot. I’m glad she stuck around, since my real friends & I make fun of her every time we can!

  • Daniel

    This is a fantastic post and your take on society’s unwillingness to confront this kind of thing in an uncomfortable context is just absolutely spot on. However, it always bugs me a little to see this kind of otherwise excellent, rational and persuasive piece of writing stuck in “blog format,” unedited and indigestible for more traditional kinds of written media.

    Amanda, this is a really insightful and persuasive entry, and I think it would be a waste not to get it out to a wider audience than this blog. I think that what you’re saying should be heard not just by your readers and fans, but by the people who would restrict the distribution of your work and the wider population that they fear you’ll offend. I’m convinced that the ideas you wrote in this post are so well laid out that it’ll be bound to convince some people.

    Unfortunately, in blog post format the ideas in this post are stuck within a fairly small audience: your readers and fans, who likely already understand and sympathize with what you have to say. With only a little editing, you could easily get this run in a print or online paper as an opinion or response article. In those media, you could get this message to the people that should really be hearing it, those whose minds you hope to change.

    I wouldn’t be saying this if I wasn’t very impressed with what you have to say. But I’m already a fan, I already agree with you and you don’t need to impress me. Please, get this post out to the people that don’t yet agree with you, and I’m sure you’ll impress some of them too.

  • David

    The first thing I thought when I saw the video was that it was great, followed by, “MTV would never in a million years air this, if they still aired music videos. Isn’t it great that we have the Internet so some knucklehead TV executive doesn’t get to decide what people get to see. ” Well, that’s pretty much it. And truthfully, if I had investors and lots of infrastructure worth lots of money, and could only show one thing at a time, and my mortgage and kid’s college education hinged on not offending anyone, I probably wouldn’t take the risk either. But the problem isn’t the video, it’s that TV is a dying medium and that broadcasting is a dying distribution model that hasn’t changed much since 1953, which brings me back to, “Isn’t it great that we have the Internet.”

    Great song. Great video. Glad its 2009 and 1989, because now I get to see it.

  • Jennifer

    I think you’re exactly right. It’s funny because one of the first things my father mentioned when I played your first cd to him was, “you can’t be someone who hasn’t experienced some of these issues.” (the loneliness, the Possible self mutilation, orange man molestation/rape, not to mention the plethora of love angst and emotions) Himself, not a dullard, went on to say that “this woman has incredible lyrics.” And you do, and it pervades the Dolls’ music, as well as what you’ve written on WKAP. Since you’ve shared, I shall. I was molested by my older brother, overdosed and nearly died at 13, raped at age 30 and nearly killed myself with pain medicine after that. Then I got cancer, and instead of trying to erase my life, I had to fight for it. Would I change any of these experiences? Of course I’d take away the pain as much as possible. Those random and horrible moments would be nice to avoid, but on the other hand—I wouldn’t be the sensitive mother fucker I am. I wouldn’t get angry when people lie about such things happening to Them, but then –aren’t they also sick in their own way? (such as your ‘friend’ Melissa) You’re right. They don’t get it. They don’t get your take on “oasis” and some probably never would. The kumquat rule unfortunately exists, but even that is its own issue. Darling. I am sorry these things happened to you. But if it’s made you the fiercely determined artist you are now, as well as the GIVING person you are to your fans and all who adore you–well, then. It says something doesn’t it. You happened to save my life right after I drove a car into a tree(on those meds) to try and end it. No. I didn’t “see the light,”(what light am i supposed to see? purple?) but your music and YOU helped. You did. Art DOES SAVE PEOPLE. When we met for a brief time I told you that you saved my life and I felt stupid saying it–but it was just fucking true. I was in a really bad patch. And now I owe you–more than all the merch I have purchased to help your funds–more than the embarrassingly low 2 shows I have seen you play. I am not a stalker, but a devoted fan. And Amanda, I LOVE music, but I have never thought of myself as a fan to the extent —well. That I am here. I sent an email in the Box asking for any kind of job. It doesn’t mention all of this, but I hope you receive this and reply at all. It’s late and it’s lonely here. Your hug was -seriously-the last hug I have received since August. That’s no joke. It’s not funny to be as isolated as I currently am, but I keep trying. I keep trying. And I would love to try for you or the Dolls. do more, so to speak. Last line on the fuckers i’ll send my complaints and begging to—-fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke or see what irony IS, tongue-in-cheek. Black humor/Irony is quintessential to getting a q-tip stuck in your ear and requiring assistance. Better. Getting your tongue stuck on the mailbox with a new tongue stud as well, for all to witness. Or drinking out of a shoe in college and having photos hit campus with your actions. mmm. My one sister was freaked out by your MySpace music and wasn’t looking forward to seeing you in concert. She wept hard and at the right moments, and came away very impressed. I have spread it to my family. A DvD with your videos? ALL of them? More money for me to save up on. (sorry this is so scattered with thoughts) I love what you do. And what you’ve done for me–it isn’t a joke and it isn’t funny–but you are. And the joy you’ve brought to my life is appreciated beyond. Good god. I hope you can reply to this at some point. I always feel a twat after “telling strangers personal things.” I’ll even submit my phone # because I could give a shit less if a billion people call and tell me I am a twat for doing so. I lay money that you won’t have time to call. I lay more that you can’t afford my mad skillz in helping your cause even more, but here it is: 302-956-0412 ———despite this message, i could assist with your book. i can edit. i can haiku and i now i am boring you senseless. consider calling(brief as you need it) Long and rambling story short, I am glad you’re alive and that “oasis” is alive. And it will be fine, it will work itself out. It will because I said so, and I am a genie. —-know what happened after i was raped? about a year afterwards, i got up the guts to drive past the little muddy turn-off where it happened. no shit, someone had put an old beat-up mattress there. i laughed through my tears. what else was i supposed to do?

  • Andrea

    When your album first came out and I heard this song I thought about this situation happening. Not with the media but just how one of my friends or some random person would react after hearing this song if they weren’t familiar with you or your other music. Or weren’t comfortable or familiar with this style of writing. And then I thought about me having this exact same conversation with that person, arguing the same point you just argued, and loving the irony of how an autograph and furture concert date are the only things keeping this girl going, everything else is shitty but this, this is what she can count on, what she can hold onto…..I think what you did is beautiful…and it’s challenging….and the intent is so fucking obvious that it makes no sense not to be played on the air. Don’t let the man get you down.

    All my love,

    Andrea

  • Chloe Y

    I can’t believe my country could be so stupid! I wasted a huge chunk of my life because of holding stuff in about a date rape, pretending it didn’t happen and not letting myself take it seriously. Oasis doesn’t denigrate what happened to me, it kicks it in the arse and gives it the light I should have allowed it years before I did. We don’t mind Miley Cyrus pimping it out but we do mind when someone makes a fucking pointed observation? Frankly, my dear, I shudder.

  • Tiffany

    Amanda, I effin love you. Fight the man. I’ve had experience with date rape, and your song does not offend me at all! I love it, just as I love the whole album!

    Love live the punk cabaret!

  • Sampire

    I hath written the the “Canadain” MTV (Much Music) and have asked them to play the video. Fingers crossed!

  • Alan ^^

    Gotta hate Ofcom sometimes, or at lest the fear of it

  • http://pithandwit.wordpress.com Laurie

    Amanda Fucking Palmer, I love you. I first saw the video for that song at one of the many abortion blogs that have been popping up: http://prochoiceabortionblog.blogspot.com/2008/12/abortion-musical.html

    It was those blogs that inspired me to get a job in a clinic, because though I’ve never been raped or pregnant, I can at least understand the situation, accept it, and try to make women feel less stigmatized and yes– maybe even a little happy, or at least not ashamed, about their decisions. Like you said, every reaction is different, and to every woman I’ve counseled, every reason is valid. Thanks for ranting.

  • megan

    I just watched the video (I’ve never heard the song before), and there’s nothing “wrong” with how you went about the song. I really like it!

  • Alan ^^

    Come to think of it, you have had an unusaly difficalt time. The belly thing, having your videos pulled down from youtube by WMG, and now radio and music channels too afred to host your music…zeez someone give her a brake >_>

  • http://perfectdenial.tumblr.com perfectdenial

    The very first time I heard the WKAP album, the song Oasis was my personal favorite. A friend of mine responded with “That figures”, but I saw the intense tongue-in-cheek and I was in love with it. It reminded me of high school, and my own personal Melissa Mahoney. I am the girl in this song in way more ways than I’d like to admit, but I am not going to sit around and cry into my Fruity Pebbles over it. I heard this song, laughed, and said, “OH MY GOD, THAT’S MY LIFE!”

    I knew it, especially paired with the video, would catch flack. But you know what? I think everyone has forgotten the dramatics of being a teenager and how relevant this song really is. The real world has lost touch with reality in its obsession with being proper. Go figure.

  • http://pleonisticrants.blogspot.com Christopher

    When the cd first came out I wrote a very short review on my new blog. I am sad to see in my review how right I was about mainstream radio. I actually wrote the fact that Oasis would never be played by big radio. I am sorry that I was right. Really sorry it was the UK, that one surprises me.
    Here’s the review:
    http://pleonisticrants.blogspot.com/2008_09_01_archive.html

  • Alan ^^

    Anyway, just checked the video agest the offical ofcom regualtions (ofcome been the UK media reguator) and it compleatly complys with everything =/

  • http://www.myspace.com/scarlettfae The Vermillion Rodent

    Absolutely amazing, Amanda. (Ooh Alliteration!)
    There really isn’t much or me to say or add because this is…just perfect.

    PS, I’m glad you liked my drawing ^^

    -Alycia

  • Jennifer

    Since you shared: My life has been a mess at different times and the only thing that has gotten my through on many occasions are irony, black humor, and more of the same. Since you were so kind to share, i was molested by my brother, raped at 30, overdosed and nearly died at 13, drove my car into a tree after the rape with same intention, (didn’t see any lights. what was i supposed to see? purple i think). Then a strange thing happened –I got cancer right before I got your self-entitled cd. My father was spot-on when he said, “no one writes lyrics like that that I am aware of, and certainly no one that hasn’t been through some serious shit.” I have beat the cancer thankfully. That, in itself is a kind of humor. Woman trying to end life begs for life. Another is when you drink beer out of a shoe and the photo is passed around from friend to foe. Indeed, the campus. I have good feelings about how “oasis” will work out, because enough people Will get it that it will get the attention it deserves. I will do my own best. I sent a pm in the Box begging for any kind of job that would assist you, but I don’t have my hopes up as I know you must have zillions of these. But Amanda, I told you that you literally saved my life in August. And you did. rather, as you would say–ART SAVES LIVES. Nothing is more true. And you were sweet about my silly admission and hugged me and pecked my cheek. That’s the last hug I have had, and while I would never get as low as I was, I am one lonely haiku-wielding joker. I could discuss too much more about your book and other things, but I am daring you to call me now that you know more about me than anyone. (“telling strangers personal things”) My list sounds false or a trip into self-pity, but nothing annoys me more than people who lie about experiences I Have had. (although they are sick too in their own way) Kumquats. Makes me think about Duran Duran for some reason. I’ll do my best with the oasis-attack. (no pun) Look. I’d like to assist you, and I am serious, but not a stalker. I’m giving you my phone number in the extremely low hope that you will give me a phone hug. I know you have no time. I know. I know. I am but one of millions all asking the same thing. But here are some more examples of irony and black humor: i farted loudly during my first job interview, she ignored it, but i guffawed. a photo of me drinking beer out of a shoe in college was posted everywhere, and finally. a year after the rape at 30, i got up the guts to drive back to the drive-off area where it took place. of all mother fucking things, there was a mattress someone had discarded there. I cried and laughed at the same time. What else can one do at that moment? phone:302-956-0412 (don’t expect much)Haiku: technically a senyru: humor is sneaky, oasis confused tan twats, but kumquats are shits

    • http://www.myspace.com/belindashort belindashort

      *hugs you*

      I have been through a lot of very similar stuff. Thank you for sharing.

    • chaynicole

      *hugs*

      :)

  • http://zoem.be elizabeth

    I’ll just say this: I love the song, and the video makes me love it that much more. The humor should be right up front to anyone who was ever 16. I guess it’s just a sign that the *cough* mainstream is threatened by you – which perhaps they should be, because you offer a funny, smart, beautiful alternative to their booty shaking gangster gun toting mainstays.

  • Jennifer

    I sent 2 comments within 1 hour and messed up grammar galore immediately, It’s the hour, not the ability I swear. Oasis will march on. Please read the comments (long as they are) if you have a moment. I need a chance at more haiku-love. I am sorry I rambled so much–aid if you can….love, jen

  • http://calystarose.tumblr.com/ cirose

    Some things, I’ve found, are too horrible and painful to discuss unless they’re couched in humor. Thank you for taking the time to make this post. I appreciate hearing your perspective.

    • http://www.myspace.com/belindashort belindashort

      I agree with you. I’ve often talked to people about presenting the bad things that have happened to me as a stand-up routine, because it seems like people can’t understand or connect any other way.

      “That’s funny, but sad” is so much better than “I pity you and don’t know how to respond”

      • http://calystarose.tumblr.com/ cirose

        During the last 8 years, the only way I could watch the news (at all) was via the Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. Because at least then I could laugh as I was crying and feeling terrified out of my mind. Laughter gave me the space to deal with it at all.

        • http://www.myspace.com/belindashort belindashort

          I know exactly how you feel. I’ve stopped watching the news, and don’t even keep a tv. The only time I hear about anything is if its linked in a snark community or through someone I know. I can handle serious news, but after a while it just gets to be too much.

          I always feel like I want to tell the media: “I get it, I’m supposed to be scared, depressed, sad and paranoid so I’ll spend money and support whatever you tell me, now leave me alone and let me live my life”

          • http://calystarose.tumblr.com/ cirose

            yep, exactly that ugh. I don’t need any help finding things to fear and be sad about. I don’t want the news to report nothing but good things, because that would be just as bad, but it would be nice if they weren’t constantly trying to out do each other in the “scare people into submission” contest.

  • http://www.myspace.com/belindashort belindashort

    They would much rather that you were ‘sorry’ and ‘regretted’ something that may or may not have happened. They want us to regret having power over our bodies, and want us to feel shame when bad things happen to us. I don’t see that changing for a long time unless we kick some sense into them.

    I can’t believe you’re getting all this BS over an obvious satire. Think of all the rappers that do basically the same thing from the other side of the gender…

  • hoochin

    This is why we don’t listen to pop music Amanda. This is why we don’t make pop art. I would imagine that having your art censored like this is heartbreaking, it certainly does seem to be that way. But, please remember that you aren’t making it for them. When you get so caught up in what the stations will play, you are discounting your art for art’s sake. There are a lot of us who enjoy it, who revel in it even. Of course you want others to be exposed, you want to hear their feedback, and know if they love it or not. But you aren’t a pop star. You aren’t writing for the masses, and for the radio stations. This is why we listen to you. Fuck them Amanda. Get over it. We spread the word, and have faith in us. We’ve gotten you this far without mainstream radio play. It’s gonna be fine. xo

    • Dave Bell

      Most of those channels refusing to take your work are just in it for the money. They might define a market of some sort, but they’re not interested in anything too different.. I doubt the sound of the record fitted, but the lyrics are an easier target for them.

      They daren’t even play somebody who came second in a Simon Cowell talent show.

      You.on the other hand, get played by the BBC. That is where you’ll hear more of, well, everything. It’s the broadcasting organisation that wants new stuff.

    • http://www.myriadlights.com/ waltiger

      what hoochin said.

  • Jennifer

    excuse the rambling and grammar errors. it just had to be done. much loveliness, j

  • http://www.myspace.com/scoke Millie

    We should all write “Play Oasis!” or “AFP!” on our bellies, and take pictures of them while someone is raping us.
    THEN they will gladly air the song!
    I’m not serious, of course.
    Isn’t humor fun?

    It seems unfair of them to decide it’s not fit to play, just because it might be upsetting.
    Lots of things are upsetting.
    Hell, the news is upsetting, but it’s still aired.
    Some things you just have to chose to listen to and deal with, or not and block them out,
    and I don’t appreciate these stations choosing for me.

    Way to back yourself while remaining calm and intelligent!

  • http://www.shelfari.com/xokatyxo/shelf Kitty

    To joke about rape is not to imply that rape is a joke. Anyone who doesn’t understand that has a/ no understanding of the purpose of humour, b/ an underabundance of schooling, and c/ never been raped or molested. Awful things are the very things that we must find ways to laugh about, otherwise (you are absolutely right) the awfullness will become so awful that it will consume us. I could quote a lot of people here (Jon Stewart, Bill Hicks, Kurt Vonnegut) but I’ll go with Kurt Vonnegut because I read “A Man Without A Country” just last week: “Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself… All I really wanted to do was give people the relief of laughing. Humor can be a relief, like an aspirin tablet… I saw the destruction of Dresden. I saw the city before and then came out of an air-raid shelter and saw it afterward, and certainly one response was laughter. God knows, that’s the soul seeking some relief… While we were being bombed in Dresden, sitting in a cellar with our arms over our heads in case the ceiling fell, one soldier said as though he were a duchess in a mansion on a cold and rainy night, “I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight?” Nobody laughed, but we were still all glad he said it. At least we were still alive! He proved it.”

    Rape, abortion, (religion).. to laugh about it, to make jokes.. proves you are still alive. The awfulness has not killed you.

  • Jennifer

    In case it hasn’t been pointed out to you before, a haiku isn’t quite a haiku if it doesn’t involve nature…it’s a senyru. i’ll repeat mine here, as i can only hope you read my rambling below when you wake: humor is sneaky
    oasis confused tan twats
    but kumquats are shits

    302-956-0412—-yes. my phone. you’ll see why if you scroll down for me. excuse it if it offends. loveliness.

  • Derek

    You rock, Amanda

  • http://substitutesadist.deviantart.com mallori

    i can honestly say that you just owned the entire corporate media.

    you rock, afp!

  • http://www.myriadlights.com/ waltiger

    *never mind*

  • http://www.myriadlights.com/ waltiger

    isn’t it bizarre that you can make the bloodiest slasher film in history and get carte blanche to produce and air it while you can make a happy bouncy smiley song about the humor to be found in an ironic point of view and be stopped before you start?

    or at least there are those who will *try* to stop you before you start.

    as long as those people fail in their endeavor, all is well. here’s to their failure! You go, Girl!

  • Kayci

    New to my top five of Favorite Amanda Blogs.

  • AR

    Dear Amanda –

    I hate to be the bad guy but as an English person and a student of the media I think in this situation the BBC’s reaction is unsurprising.

    What you have to take into account is the fact that as a public service broadcaster the BBC’s very accountability puts it in a weak position when transmitting controversial material. Ever since its inception there have been groups within society howling for it to be torn apart and fed to the commercial wolves, which would be a TERRIBLE THING (!). For that reason it can err decidedly on the conservative side from time to time, especially with content which does not already have a massive mainstream following (sad but true). It’s also a stodgy old thing still in many ways, only gradually reshaping itself over decades.

    The other thing is that we don’t have a constitution upholding free speech. Of course it’s there in principle but there are quite a few exceptions, and the concept is a little less fiercely defended here.

    Interestingly I think the abortion bit of the complaint is a red herring, or at least only a little detail rather than the shitstorm it would be in America. Abortion isn’t really controversial here at all – it’s more likely the bit about date rape that caused the problems. Not, of course, that you could selectively remove bits of a song centring on those elements…

    What I would suggest, if this is possible, is that you seek to work with companies broadcasting on Channel 4 (channel4.com), which has a history of airing challenging, avant garde, minority, queer (in the best possible sense), interesting stuff. It seems far more like your televisual home to me.

    I’m sorry if this comes across as condescending and apologist. But I wanted to add a little explanation of the possible rationale behind the upset.

    AR, London

    • http://pithandwit.wordpress.com Laurie

      As far as I understood it, the BBC was the only one that aired it. I could have misread, however.

  • L

    Brava…

    • http://every-piece.livejournal.com/ everypiece

      Adding myself to the chorus of people who love the song, love the video, and think the refusal of networks to air it is packed with fail and hypocrisy.

  • http://www.goITgirl.com Kat

    Ah Amanda. The establishment can’t tell their arses from their elbows, nor good honest music from meaningless pap. I’ve experienced the same things as you, do I curl up into a little ball and cry when I hear “Oasis”? No, I fucking laugh about it and feel a thousand times better for having heard your song. They will play it in Australia. We still have a sense of humour, though the british seem to have left theirs somewhere on the cutting room floor. Don’t give up. xx

  • L

    I tire of other people deciding what may or may not offend me, and removing any choice I have in the matter by banning things outright in the name of defending The Public’s delicate sensibilities…

    • jessica

      agreed

  • http://www.twitter.com/John_Pickman John Pickman

    In the late 1960’s, Harlan Ellison compiled and edited a science fiction anthology called Dangerous Visions. These were stories by brilliant science fiction authors which were considered unsellable in ‘conventional’ markets. Not because of quality or style, but because they dealt with controversial, unsettling, and painful topics, often in amazing and sometimes funny ways.

    It got Mr. Ellison in a lot of trouble (something he does well). It has never made as much money as the best-selling romance of the same year. It never will. However, to this very day it is mentioned time and again as one of the *most important* anthologies in the history of speculative fiction, and it has inspired countless authors and works.

    I can’t imagine very many people remember the name of the best-selling romance novel of that year.

    p.s. Norman Spinrad’s story from that collection, ‘Carcinoma Angels’ (which is a funny story about cancer) must have inspired Warren Ellis at some point as well: In his comic Transmetropolitan, Spider Jerusalem’s preferred brand of cigarettes are, in fact, Carcinoma Angels. Funny old world, isn’t it?

  • Adella

    I personally vote you make the song like that. I can virtually guarantee no one would be able to sustain the appropriate level of sorrow when the line “annoying fundamentalist Christians” came in, and THAT would be amusing.

    However, it could backfire, in that all the radio stations might start to play that version. And then I would be cross. And this hypothetical universe has suddenly become even MORE annoying than the present existing one. So perhaps not.

    Glad I got that sorted out…

    I’m sorry we’re being so PC. It’s really rather idiotic. But, you know, the song means something to us. The fans (and the extended family of the fans). Small comfort, but it’s all that I can offer.

    Dude, you should have organised a snowball fight on Monday. We Londoners would have totally pwned you. (Though I’m still not entirely sure what pwned means.) And hot chocolate and shit. God… make it snow again. Make it snow!

    Peace.

    • jessica

      I personally vote you make the song like that. I can virtually guarantee no one would be able to sustain the appropriate level of sorrow when the line “annoying fundamentalist Christians” came in, and THAT would be amusing.

      LOL
      please change the lyrics to “and outside the building were all these annoying fundamentalist Christians we tried to kick them in the shin”

      I could say that with a straight face
      Ok so it wouldnt work with the melody
      but whatever :D

  • Alex

    I’m clearly a minority among your fans, but I’m going to say this anyway because it’s the truth.

    I don’t want to see a song about rape and abortion on my tv. It’s just unnecessary to force those issues on people who are watching music videos. You have your right to free speech, and you’ve exercised that right by making the song and video and putting it up on the internet.
    But that doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be a watchdog looking out for those people who just want to watch music videos for entertainment, and not get bombarded with lyrics directly speaking about being raped.
    I’m not conservative in any way, and I do agree that serious issues can and sometimes should be tackled with humour. But I also believe the humour should be subtle if it’s to be put into the public forum, in a place where people aren’t specifically looking to face such issues. You can be as brash as you want when you’re preaching to the converted – as you are on this page – but public tv requires sensitivity towards all corners of the viewing community. I wouldn’t want my gran to have to watch this video any more than I would want my 12 year old niece to, and that’s why I would take issue with forcing this video on music tv viewers.

    • http://www.shelfari.com/xokatyxo/shelf Kitty

      “Forcing”? Really? Television is “forcing” something on it’s viewers by simply showing it? There’s plenty of stuff on TV that I don’t like/don’t want to deal with/find disgusting or offensive, know what I do about that stuff? I change the channel and don’t watch it. Which is something I’m sure you, your grandmother AND your 12 year old niece are all capable of doing too.

    • Alex

      You let your 12 year old niece watch videos of half naked unattainable bodies and binge drinking and drug use and sexual promiscuity but then refuse to allow her to see the dark side of those actions and reactions? I appreciate your opinion but young people who are sheltered from the realities of life are the very people who grow up with warped understandings of the way the world works, and they become the ones who blame themselves when bad things happen.

      I think discussions about rape, abortion, overdoses, and everything else should be standard discussion in every classroom, so that these girls and boys know they’re not alone when it happens to them.

      ‘Sensitivity’ is the reason that there are a million girls out there who haven’t told anyone about their rape because they think they’re not supposed to talk about it.

    • jessica

      Yea but there are episodes of CSI on television that are so graphic they gave me flashbacks to my own rape and thats ok?

  • Mark

    Leaving aside Aunty Beeb (i.e. the BBC, overseas types), my suspicion is that most media companies operating in the UK are part of multinationals. I’d like to think, therefore, that this ‘blacklisting’ of the track is emanating from offices in the US somewhere where the juxtaposition of words like ‘annoying’ and fundamentalist’ causes sirens to sound and lawyers to spring forth from their hibernation pods in the walls…

    See you at the gig tonight, assuming the ticket company ever manages to unite me and my tickets.

    • jessica

      (I’d like to think, therefore, that this ‘blacklisting’ of the track is emanating from offices in the US somewhere where the juxtaposition of words like ‘annoying’ and fundamentalist’ causes sirens to sound and lawyers to spring forth from their hibernation pods in the walls…)

      Good point. Thanks for the mental picture of the lawyers springing forth from pods btw :D
      I rofl’d

  • http://pandagarong.blogspot.com Junebug

    Hey, OASIS is such a great song with a great music video, i love it!

    you are loved here, in Indonesia, Amanda

    Have a plan to tour in asia?

  • http://www.myspace.com/nothing_can_stop_me lox

    oasis is a song you can laugh about.
    I don´t think about my grandfathers assault on me for an instant if i hear the song. There are many ways to coop with a situation like assault and rape. I had a blackout for a few years from age 8 or 9 till 14 (I lived like it never happend to me) In puberty I was disgust by almost every man near me, didn’t want a hug from my dad or anything. And now I can almost laugh about it and just mention my grandfather as the man who married my grandmother. (I find that rather funny)
    But I can laugh about the oasis song and not think sad or get angry.
    Only by things as Dr. Phill where creepy fucked up men come who just ignore the fact what the did to there children or grandchildren! I want to pock there eyes out and at that moment so would I like to do that with my grandfather. (who I still see like nothing has ever happend)

    Well my point from this whole bla bla bla was that it is just plane stupid to not air your clip of oasis, and If those tv folks don’t want to air shit, let them censor the whole coming back of the “I don’t believe the holocaust” bishop

  • http://www.twitter.com/guzguz Guzz

    Awesome music and video-clip!!! great work, can´t wait to see other things like that.

    cheers from Brazil

  • chrisdonia

    I can see an ‘acoustic’ version of the song coming out which, if set to the same video, would be immensely disturbing.

    Maybe the Tragic interpretation could be more than just pandering to the Political Correctness machine! :)

  • bec

    I love Oasis, I hope it gets more airplay.
    Other slow piano songs to play it to for that “emotional impact”
    Flame Trees – Sarah Blasko
    Elenor Rigby & The Long and Winding Road by The Beatles
    xD

    but seriously why must every suck the humor out of everything?

    btw read this if you have the time
    http://mutatedpixelation.wordpress.com/2009/02/04/another-amanda-palmer-postanother-amanda-palmer-post

  • http://armyoflarry.com armyoflarry

    Isn’t it great that we have all these dimwits to protect us from ourselves? What would we do without people making the big boy decisions for us?

    The music industry needs to wake the fuck up. The game is over. You have been proven wrong at every turn.

    They said songs have to be 3 minutes or shorter to be a big hit. Then came Stairway To Heaven. They said some lyrics are too dark and scary to sell to a mass audience, then came The Doors, Slayer, Marilyn Manson ect. They said that some music is too complicated to sell to a broader audience, then came ELP and Genesis. They said home taping would kill music, HA! They said mp3s would kill music. Music is just fine. The industry however…

    Maybe after years of radio playlists being narrowed down, the death of the real DJs, the consolidation of radio stations and record companies, the broken promise of MTV, the death of artist development and fear of offending people with real art, rock concerts turning into pep rally instead of a party, THE INDUSTRY CAN LOOK IN A MIRROR AND BLAME THEMSELVES. THOSE FUCKS ARE KILLING ROCK ‘N ROLL, and the only fitting punishment torture by LOUNGE MUSIC!!!!

  • Abi

    You are the most inspiring person to me in the world :) See you in Camden later ;)

  • anon.

    i’ve been date raped.
    it was hideous. it made me feel dirty and wrong. the man who did it is still trying to get drunk, vulnerable underage girls into his bedroom. it sickens me and makes me feel horrible. i never told the police. i was too scared and ashamed.

    i told my friends.
    and we joke about it every chance we get – especially when other people are around who might fall victim to him. to let them know before hand. it makes it easier for me to deal with it. it’s probably the wrong course of action. but. yeah.

    don’t let yourself be censored. especially when you’re right.

  • Kabouterprinses

    it was a good rant, amanda dear, you are completely right, you should be able to joke about the dark matters of life, if you don’t, you fall, you go down, you get depressed, you’re not alive anymore.

    i’m glad that radio here isn’t refusing to play the song, i heared it a few times already, it always made me happy ’cause i knew that those people understood that it wasn’t “making light of abortion, rape, faith, …”. it makes me happy ’cause other people are now able to listen to it and put power out of it. hopefully the majority understands that you should be able to make fun of things.

    a week ago, right after the daycare massacre here in belgium, there started surfacing jokes about it in class. People getting the idea of making baby t-shirts that said “i survived the Dendermonde Daycare Massacre and all i got is this lousy t-shirt”. The jokes were there to help people get over it, we smiled, even though something horrible had happened. we didn’t deny that something horrible happened. we thought it was horrible. But we smile, cause if we don’t, we’ll fall.

    have a blast at the gig tonight, hug my friends who are there, and i’ll see you on friday in paris.

    love,
    anne

  • Lilli

    I remember reading Rosanne Barr’s autobiography, and somewhere in it she says that comedy is stronger than the pen or the sword.
    I think people who are offended by the so-called lightness of songs like “Oasis” are not only missing the point of the song, but really missing out on a huge part of their own emotions.

  • noonecanstop

    I know that abortion is something that makes many uncomfortable but so do many things both known to us and unknown. My first girlfriend had an abortion and it was mentally and physically draining on both her and I. The difference is that I was able to move ahead through life, look at the past, learn from it, and most importantly laugh. She never laughed she would delve into some dark places which brought me there as well. She eventually was able to pull out of the pain and i ended our relationship.
    I’ve since been looking back at my 4 years of high school which create my tails which i tell and produce and air of “what the fuckery” I delved into some of the blackest most vile places in my soul but i was alays able to come back because of one thing: humor. I was able to look back and understand that the situations and ideas were what made me me.
    So i just want to thank you for your continuing to make beautiful music which actually means something rather then music which is just made to appeal. If we cannot laugh at the things that try to destroy us then they will. I’d rather laugh them down then let them touch me. I love the fact that you can watch as someone spills paint on your brand new white rug and you don’t get mad but go out and get more paint to add the the aesthetics.

    Love always,

    ACTS

  • http://knitting4zen.blogspot.com lesley

    You are so incredibly right! Bravo!! I absolutely love the upbeat lighthearted Oasis and if it were dark and sad, I wouldn’t have liked it at all. I so agree that to find humor in the darkness is the only way to live. I divorced my cheating spouse a year ago. At first when telling people I noticed my tone. How horribly bitter I sounded. It kept my outlook as a single mom grim and dim. After a couple of months I purposely changed my tone to to almost the same beat as Oasis. ;-) It cured me in a week. I still use the same lighthearted upbeat tones to discribe my darkest moments as a new light of hope instead. Thank you! I love your music! You Rule!!

  • http://www.myspace.com/ania_mrf Ania

    Oh fuck them…You’re Awesome. ♥

  • Alex

    “but because i think it’s better
    to talk about these things, argue about them, be upset about them, push them out into the open air”

    truer words were never spoken.
    what’s the point of being alive if everyone is hiding out by themselves?

  • http://www.escapingthetrunk.net Madeline

    Did these stations play “Date Rape” by Sublime? (Anyone else remember when that song was huge? It was a top request all summer in the town where I grew up.) Because I’m sensing that they feel it’s not just inappropriate to play the song, but that it’s inappropriate for a *woman* to have sung it — because traditionally women are supposed to be utterly wrecked by their abortions, they’re supposed to be sad and sorry and disturbed all the time about it, they’re supposed to think of themselves as lesser for having had one. What makes these people nervous about “Oasis,” I would argue, is that it’s about a young woman who is able to own the experience, laugh it off, and move on, rather than allowing herself to be continually victimised through both self- and social recrimination. Evidence: “Date Rape” and “Brick” (your song’s sombre twin by the afore-mentioned Mr. Folds) take different perspectives on, alternately, rape and abortion, and they were both extremely popular, and they were both performed by men.

    • Crystal

      Ha, not only that, but, how about “Rape Me,” by Nirvana. Or all the other rap songs in the world that talk about beating your bitch to death.

  • Crystal

    Here’s what I don’t get… all of these rap singers can sing about smacking their bitch up and shooting up someone’s house, but.. you can’t sing lightheartedly about whatever the hell you want? Maybe you should speed the song up even more, use slang, put a hat on, turn it backwards and carry a nine. Maybe then you’ll be able to sing what you want to. I love the song, I love Ben Folds. I think it’s great that you can poke fun at this kind of stuff, you’re right.. if you can’t make fun of it, then the darkness takes over. =D

  • http://www.myspace.com/Half_jack shanon

    i love everything you think and say amanda!

    as somone who has been thru that situation before, it helps to joke about it sometimes.

    ” one day were guna look back at this situation and laugh”

    and i do.

    One thing that gets me tho. Rap music, is just suggestive music about sex, and doin things in the bedroom that arent supposed to be talked about, its okay for them to “rap” about that, but its not okay for you to sing about real life issues that happen that make the song relatable to some, and make people laugh and feel better about their situation…

    i dont get it.

  • Kim

    You know, they allow films to show such things as rape, abortion and other situations which make us all feel uncomfortable but actually teach us something about real life, yet they don’t let a song out? I suppose, like Mark said, the radio is terrified of letting out any broadcasts which might cause offense because of the Media exploading over a prank call which didn’t even cause offence in the first place.

    I’ll route for your songs, Amanda, and I’ll send them ALL e-mails requesting your song. You are what the English public want. :)

  • http://myspace.com/starbuxchick91 weirdgirl27

    you are my hero.

  • Xenjn

    Wow…Are you serious? @_@ Dumb question. But…Holy crap, I really can’t understand what the hell is wrong with people! XD Or maybe I don’t know what’s wrong with me, because the first time I heard that song was when you posted the video on youtube. I remember the first thing I said after I watched it. I swear, I said, out loud. “Amanda, I fucking LOVE you”

    Does the fact that I didn’t get offended in the slightest bit mean I’m a sick twisted person? Or does it mean I just have a really good sense of humor?

    Ha, how about this, does the fact that I LOVE that song, and I LOVE the video even MORE make me impartial to rape and abortion? I suppose that’s what they (Society) would want me to think.

  • Crystal

    *applauds* Well said.

  • http://vetsaga.se Johan

    Well said. Best of luck.

    //JJ

  • gauche

    “dude.
    wasn’t this the UK, land of black humor blacker than blackest black itself?”

    True. But also the home of the Daily (Hate-) Mail:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1130289/MELANIE-PHILLIPS-To-place-children-gay-men-adoptive-mother-father-available-sickening-assault-family-life.html

    This parody site is actually pretty spot-on to the Mail’s dogma:
    http://dailyquail.blogspot.com/

    Great song though :) Looking forward to seeing you tonight :) :) :)

  • C. Daniel

    we have to spread the rumor that only silly people watch MTV and all the other tv programs…
    Amanda your song is brilliant , but the problem is you can compare their horizon to the edge of a plate

  • phvern

    As a ‘fundamentalist’ Christian, I have to say your song and video not only are hilarious, they make an excellent point. I cannot wait until my (also ‘fundamentalist’) husband sees it; he’ll laugh his ass off. The coat hanger was a nice touch. As far as the radio and TV go, well, it’s all about the $$$ for them- screw art! And thinking, for that matter. Don’t want our kids doing too much of that; they might actually start questioning the advertisements and, God forbid, their teachers.

    I know this is a radical thought, but last time I checked… my radio and TV and computer had OFF buttons. If people don’t like what they see and hear, they can just turn the thing off!!

    • http://www.myspace.com/nothing_can_stop_me lox

      I know this is a radical thought, but last time I checked… my radio and TV and computer had OFF buttons. If people don’t like what they see and hear, they can just turn the thing off!!

      Well said phvern haha

    • MelissaM123

      completely agree… ironic that the UK media gets so riled up about a song but is pretty much apathetic when faced with women and girls actually going through this shit.

      thanks for writing this song Amanda. fucking brilliant I say.

  • Muertecaramelo

    Once again, Amanda, you’ve moved me with your post.

    Personal shit? I think that an honest voice on whatever art expression we encounter is greatly appreciated. It makes things true. Truth makes us alive. Alive is good.

    I may get some quotations from this post on the state of the contemporary art as self expression; obviously, from a creator’s point of view, you describe the process and forces behind it perfectly. Humor is a forgotten practice nowadays, it seems.Anyways, you’re an authority on this subject.

    I wasn’t aware of just HOW personal this song was for you. It isn’t my favorite off the record but certainly has a new meaning now.
    I am totally sure you’re not interested in any kind of comment about that so, I’ll leave you with nothing more than positive energy for the sold out shows go great and wishing you lots of fun with fans across the Atlantic.

    Luvs.

  • Norman

    Wow… wonder what they would do with male rape in a song? It staggers the mind how clueless people are but then again 50% of the population is below average…. think about it. Anyway, Amanda, you are queen and princess in my mind and heart. I as just sick and upset that I missed you play in Salt Lake City. Now I get interesting updates about you off of Kyle C’s Live Journal and bit and chunks on the intra-webs. Keep yourself loose and don’t let these silly bastards get you down. And if you are ever bored and want to get married let me know. ;-) You will always rock.

    Norman

  • Gabriele Albuquerque

    Perfect post, Amanda. It’s a shame that a lot of people don’t understand and/or feel your art. Oasis is one of the greatest songs made in the last years.
    I want to say that without your music I don’t know how I could survive to the difficulties I had last year in my life. Your album was extremely important for me to hold on. Thank you, Amanda!

    Brazil loves you =)

  • http://www.macasev.com Aleksandar Macasev

    Oh, well
    this is tough shit. But I thought that you are already prepared for the 21st century bigotry.
    Don’t tell me you didn’t expect something like this.
    Reagan/Thatcher era seems like an anarcho-liberal heaven.

  • http://www.myspace.com/mightyflyy_x Jodie

    i hate my own stupid country.
    the BBC aired it but kerrang and NME wont?
    uhh bullshitter alert.
    you make amazing music, they just don’t realize it.
    when Oasis gets to number one, i hope it metaphorically slaps them in their stupid faces.
    i’m actually annoyed for you amanda, i can’t imagine how frustrating shit like this must be.
    keep going strong

    x Jodie

  • random kumquat

    Part of my job responsibilities include auditing cellphone content for a major telephone company. Part of why i was asked to do the job, was because i can “handle offensive material responsibly” aka i have at least the intelligence of a kumquat ;) The clients purpose of “auditing” is to avoid alienating its customer base “too much”, because that’s their $, so the consumer has the power, if they use it. So thank you for posting links for us to speak up!! i think that’s what has the most potential to change the system as a whole, in the meantime, your on my playlist, a lot of my friends love your music & art, can’t wait to see you live!

  • Cherizzle

    You can either laugh at life or cry about it….let the titty babies have their kleenex and we’ll giggle until we pee a little…

  • Hobbes

    hi amanda,

    i hope this post finds you since there are so many comments on this entry. i have a question:
    i’m pretty certain you read the new york times, either just when you’re in new york or possibly online. if you do read it online, do you have an account? i made one recently and there’s a really cool feature where you can recommend articles and follow other people’s recommendations. i love reading your blog and i’m sure you have some great recommendations about what is interesting in the news (your blogs are always so well informed). if you have account/were to make an account at nytimes.com, would you be up for people following you?

    thanks,
    someone who craves news and amanda and any combination of the two

  • http://www.pistolheart.com t

    my mom wrote a memoir/self-help book about recovering from abuse (“The Doghouse Angel” by Kim Steward–i can shamelessly promote because it is my mom), and the problem is not the *way* you deliver the message, it’s that you deliver the message at all. she constantly runs into people who just aren’t ready to face those demons, and she’s not making any jokes at all…

    most people just aren’t ready to approach these topics in a serious way, and so they can’t wrap their head around the jokes. one day, they will come around. and if they don’t, not worth the wiggins. not sure why you get censored and Sublime didn’t though? it’s ok to make prison-rape joke songs but not ones about girls at parties? hmm…maybe point that out at your next meeting with the corporate schmoes.

    • jessica

      oh dont forget the tool song prison sex

      I guess thats ok because its not funny?

  • Carrie

    Your song and video are great. I had an aborton when is was sixteen and I see a lt of similarities between the girl in the song and myself at that age. When I went in to schedule it I remember talking wth the nurse and saying things like, “Oh no, that day won’t work, that’s right before the Homecoming dance.” and “I have soccer practice that day.” I’m sure she thought that I was an idiot, but those were the REALLY important things in my life at that time. So I ended up skipping school to get it done and when I went in there were a bunch of crazy religious people outside shouting things at me about how terrible I was. My loser boyfriend actually pushed one of them out of my way. That was the one and only time I remember him doing anything nice for me. I got it done, got it over with and moved on.
    I guess some people could consider it a sad story, but it was all quite humorous in a tragic teen sort of way.
    Anyway, thank you for having the guts to speak openly and honestly about these taboo topics. You rock.

  • http://www.veniastravels.com Setsuled

    Well said.

  • Tom Whitmore

    Came here from Making Light. If you’ll accept the comment from a fifty-something American —

    You seriously rock, girl.

    Well said, keep at it, and I’m going to share this around in a couple of other places. And it’s a good song, too!

  • http://littlelioness.net Fiona

    I love you Amanda. I only just noticed the nurse feeding the baby the beer in the end. :)

  • http://www.burnblack.com Lolly

    I dj at a rock/alt/metal night and I’m going to play Oasis every fucking week from now on until your video gets played on air.

    Looking forward to seeing you in Dublin on the 16th. Just booked hotel rooms and flights today. *woop*.

  • http://www.koaxkoaxkoax.com Bob Rossney

    This is a great post and an amazingly great song.

    I’m reminded of the guy who runs, and decided to close down, T-Shirt Hell, because he wearied of all of the criticism and hate mail he got for selling a T-shirt that read: “It’s Not Gay If You Beat Them Afterwards.” I think that if you make fun of things that people can’t think clearly about, they’re not going to be able to think clearly about the fun you’re making either.

    The artist can’t make them think clearly about it. I think that’s too much to ask of an artist. I think the artist’s job is to speak to the people who are thinking relatively clearly already, and help them see the subject in a new light. If you poke fun at something dark, the people who face the darkness with fear and denial aren’t going to fear and deny it any less.

    It should come as no surprise that mass media can’t handle this kind of burden. Mass media has to deal with all the people, and there are a lot of them, who aren’t thinking clearly at all.

    The encouraging thing about where we are right now is that the artist’s career doesn’t go off a cliff anymore if she can’t resolve this contradiction. I mean, I never heard of Amanda Palmer before today, and now I’m an Amanda Palmer fan, and the BBC didn’t have the first thing to do with getting me there.

  • http://www.jodigreen.ca/ jodilicious

    Amanda, this is a wonderful song. I don’t really even think it’s all that funny, to be honest. It’s just such a true and sad portrait of what it’s like to be a teenaged girl, an adult but still a kid too, and it makes perfect sense that a girl who’s been forced into an adult role (through rape and subsequent unwanted pregnancy) acts out her denial by clinging to the things about her that are still childish. There’s nothing offensive or irreverent about pointing out that dichotomy that was within us all at that age. People who can’t see irony are a little bit dead inside. Tell them to sod off.

  • Steff

    I directed a production of The Vagina Monologues in college and I made a montage of videos and images of women in the middle east and Darfur to end the show with. It was set to the song “Just a Girl” by No Doubt. When I showed the video to the producer and the head of the Women’s Center, they told me they liked the idea of the video, but were horrified and offended that I would choose to pair such depressing images with a rock song. I told them that the video wasn’t mean to depress people; it was meant to inspire people to want to fight back, but they insisted I use some Tracy Chapman song for the video instead. After arguing about it for over an hour, they told me I had to either change the video or pull it. I refused to change it so the video was cut. The night of the show, about 20 minutes before the curtain went up, I handed the original video, unchanged, to the technical director and told him to play it at the end. He did. And the audience totally fucking got it. It was the most satisfying moment of my life.

  • Flor

    If you slowwed it way, way down you’d still have to be a guy to sing that bluntly…er, not bluntly… um directly to the subject. Because I still don’t think a woman could get away with an appropriately transposed version of “Girlfriend in a Coma” or “Date Rape.” (Also, I submit that they also freaked that you covered rape AND abortion AND religion in one song, but all the while the song is about an idiot too excited by her pop heroes to pay attention to her life. Powers that be like a song to be about one thing and one thing only.)

    We’re supposed to be all ineffable and emotional and shit. Joke?! Like we’re over it?! Never!! Never mind talking, using words to evoke with great and tragic specificity! That just makes it all so much worse – when you can grasp an idea using actual words. If you were only the image of tragedy, or only the sound, then you would be a great muse. But since you’re also – well, foremost – taking the role of commentator, then the listener can’t get away from the reality.

    Weaklings.

    Flor
    fallen woman

  • Treason

    Well, Scuzz was at least very prompt and polite in their response to my email:

    “Thanks for the email, we’ve seen her blog asking people to email in. We’re very sorry but there is a line for video content which we can’t show, it’s a cool song, but basically we’ll get in trouble for playing it with TV regulations the way they are. Nothing Scuzz has against the artist.

    You can view the video on youtube or on her blog.”

    Ah, well.
    If even one of them stands up for you it will be awesome and send a message to the others!

  • Danielle

    My e-mail to mtv::::::::::::::

    To whom it may concern,

    I would like to request the video, “Oasis” by Amanda Palmer. Though it is banned, I feel this censorship is unfair and even though the station believes it has “inappropriate” subject matter I think MTV should really look inside and really figure what is inappropriate. Mtv has shows like “A double shot at love”, and “The real world” which is full of sex and offensive material, you air it without a second thought. Please play the video, it sends a beautiful message to those going through abortion and rape. Society has reshaped our senses to be offended at the mere speak of the subjects. Ms. Palmer has lended her voice to be a messenger that it is possible to continue on and there is a bright side, and I think it is offensive that you are making a decision for people whether something is inappropriate or not. Give freedom of speech a chance, and let musicians make their art, and play it the way it should.

    Thank you for your time,

    Danielle O’Connor.

    so ridiculous. I sang at a church one time and I had wrote a song about a husband beating the shit out of his wife, so she murders him and they got sooooooooo pissed off at me, therefore I am not to perform there again. Honesty, is the hardest pill to swallow.

    the song-

    Roses are red,
    And begin to bleed.
    Violets are blue,
    Violence to bruises.
    Love is suicide,
    Everyone look at the pretty blood-covered bride.
    But I’ll still love you,
    With the scars in tact.
    But I’ll still love you,
    With your hands around my neck.

    And in screaming headlines,
    They will say,
    “No one suspected anything.”
    We will share our next anniversary in matching coffins.
    Cause honey we all die sometime.

    With the alcohol infused in your blood,
    You’ll grab that gun.
    I’ll run for the door,
    I will plead and scream.
    I will be ignored.
    You will say,
    “This ring on my finger is nothing but a curse, a lifetime with you, my dear, there is nothing worse.”

    And in screaming headlines,
    They will say,
    “No one suspected anything.”
    We will share our next anniversary in matching coffins.
    Cause honey we all die sometime.

    Everything grows quieter,
    Blood upon my sweater.
    The gun out of his hand,
    Had made it to mine.
    I found the perfect solution,
    To become his kind.
    Cause honey,
    We all die sometime,
    And tonight is your night.

    And in screaming headlines,
    They will say,
    “No one suspected anything.”
    We will share our next anniversary in matching coffins.
    Cause honey we all die sometime,
    And tonight is your night.

    *longest comment ever, sorry lol*

  • christie

    OMG I loved, loved, loved it. I think the message is very simple if people have at least a quarter of a brain;)

  • Rachael_Elizabeth

    Absofuckinglutely.

    I just got back from the gig in Camden and bloody loved it. Thanks for making it such an amazing evening – I’ve had a pretty difficult time lately with a whole load of crap going on in my life, and it was nice to be able to get completely involved in something else tonight and forget all the bad stuff. So thanks, Amanda. Much love goes your way.

    Rachael xxx

    P.S. Loved the tearful version of Oasis; I almost cried. With laughter. =P x

  • http://blissful-madness.com/ Cris

    The coincidence of this whole debacle is that yesterday, in a blog I keep with a friend of mine, I’d written a long entry on you and how you’ve influenced my progress as a writer. Copied from it verbatim (with the rest of it at: http://tinyurl.com/progress-blog):

    “Amanda’s writing not only influences my writing; who she is influences, in a way, who I am or want to be. I’m beginning to feel more comfortable with accepting who I am because of her. I feel more comfortable as a writer, more capable of taking risks and pushing the envelope in terms of writing about things I “shouldn’t” write about.

    (That’s another important thing; a sense of black humor is practically required to truly enjoy Amanda’s music and the music of the Dresden Dolls. “Oasis” and “Lonesome Organist Rapes Page-Turner” are key examples of this.)”

    Without you and your music, I’m pretty sure I’d still be stuck questioning and worried about what others would think of me and my work instead of creating. Thank you for that, and I hope that more people come to their senses about this whole issue.

  • lentower

    in Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land

    the meaning of laughter conversation is in chapter XXIX
    between valentine michael smith and Gillian Boardman.
    it’s one of the harshest, honest definitions i’ve seen

    the what is art conversation, with sculptures as example, is in chapter XXX
    between jubal harshaw and ben caxton
    might at least increase your appreciation of rodin

  • http://down-remedy-lane.deviantart.com/ Marla

    I’m totally with you!
    Why TV keeps showing Requiem for a Dream? It doesn’t “make light” about A LOT of things that might kill people? C’mon…
    Aren’t they “making light” of promiscuity with a lot of other videos? C’mon!! If they are sooo right, isn’t Catty Perry making light on homosexuality with “I kissed a girl and I like it”? Yes! She is! And we love it! (Not Catty Perry in particular, but is the idea)
    They’re just taking only one piece of the shit. And we’re all gonna protest. We are… about 170 comments here, we can do something!

    Yeah, I’m fucking upset!

    And, well, I don’t think they will worry about a letter from Argentina, and also, here is illegal to abort

  • Lauren

    Hey Amanda. I’ve been through all the awful things in the song as well (including a brief period of Oasis love). I want to thank you for this song, and video. I make light of the situations myself because it makes it easier to face if you’re willing to laugh about it. I love you for fighting for that. Thanks…

  • Composed of Imperfections

    wow you’re so right.
    normally i don’t like to read long articles (i have a very short attention span when it comes to things like that)
    but this was so compelling, and i agreed with everything you said.
    you are insightful, talented, and (totally unrelated to this) very beautiful.
    hope you can get your song on the air, it’s one of my faves (actually they all are but that’s not the point)

  • ceazerblue

    Everybody has the right to express their point of view. Right or wrong it’s their choice to be ignorant. It’s a sad day when the almighty dollar has the power to censor artists, and then deny people the right form their own opinion.
    God forbid you choose to use your right of freedom of speech and make light of a FUCKING ugly, unfortunate situation that you and too many others have been forced to experience against their will.
    Fuck them if they can’t take a joke or see the truth.
    OASIS ROCKS!

  • carrots

    That video is fucking hilarious. I already loved that song, but the video makes it even better. Gonna go write me some emails to the shitheads in the uk. You’re amazing Amanda!

  • skootchdown

    Just sent off my emails.

    Yaknow, if countless women and girls world wide, including myself, can actually bear to survive rape and abortion…many of us victoriously so, then these stations can bear to play a SONG about it!
    The general public can certainly bear to hear a SONG about it…or like a previous commentor suggested, turn it off. How fucking novel.
    My ten and thirteen year old daughters have listened to the song…even THEY get it. It fostered uncharted dialogue for us as a family.

    Thank you, Ms. Palmer
    Blessings

    • jessica

      I’m glad to hear of parents who aren’t sheltering their children from the world but instead being honest with them. You are my role model!

  • http://maartendas.blogspot.com feeblemind

    When driven into corners, AFPs turn into fire-breathing lions. Don’t they know that at tv and radio stations by now? Silly people…

  • come on Amanda, are you serious?
    Abortion doesn’t exist, and when I searched for “rape” in the dictionary and i found ” when a good boy gives flowers to a good girl making her very very happy”.

    So what is all this humor for when everything is fine?
    You should learn form Britney Spears,look at her: she doesn’t make humor about her drug-addicted close past, but her hair have grown back again anyway!

    Don’t talk about uncomfortable things – that anyway don’t exist- when we can watch Christina singing freely
    “Some days I’m a super bitch playing my old tricks” and we can be sure that THAT is the way of life we want to follow:

    half naked, acting and dancing like a bitch..but still pretending that sex , rape and abortion don’t have anything to do with it.
    Everything is fine! This is the age of OPTIMISM!

    ..
    with you ’till the end in this battle.
    love, Rò

    p.s. they’ll never find a way to stop the power art has on people: the way art makes one selfconscious is the things they’re most afraid of.

  • Ykoriana

    I think it also makes a difference that this is a woman’s story. It’s like there’s only a very narrow, specific range of reactions that women are supposed to have to things, and society freaks out when women react differently. Same thing also comes from the direction of people society thinks of as “victims” (whether those people self-identify as such or not) – people who have been raped, people who have experienced discrimination… you’re allowed to be sad and mopey and a brave little example to others, but heaven forbid that you be angry, arch, sarcastic, satirical… those reactions frighten people. And that accounts for some of the reaction to this. Most, however, will sadly be because people didn’t listen to the damn thing themselves, or take a moment to think.

  • http://www.victorinfante.com/ Victor D. Infante

    I think Elvis Costello said it best nearly 30 years ago:

    “And the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools/
    Trying to anaesthetise the way that you feel.”

  • kmd

    Have you ever had an abortion or been raped?

    • DB

      are you serious?

      Can you read?

  • http://deadnazi.net Rabbit

    I’m the cat-rabbit that finds gallows humor a redundant term, because dear christ in heaven… Okay, let me put it this way.

    I’ve been WWII history obsessed since I was old enough to read. I read Maus as a kid, and also, went to a holocaust Museum in 10th grade, and you know what? That museum, it couldn’t do it. It couldn’t capture what was horrible about it, what was personal about it… you are on one side of an exhibit in a clean, well-lit museum, and you’re looking at something that is detached from you. Maus did it better. But the Producers did it and hit a home run out of the park. In my opinion, it’s the laughter and the knowing how WRONG the laughter is that hits you in the gut and makes you think about it.

    The same with rape and abortion. I hate having to validate this kind of thing too, though I know more women who have been raped than haven’t, and don’t get me started on abortions. The ones who have survived are the ones who have learned to laugh. It doesn’t take anything away from what happened to them, for these women, but it does make them feel stronger, and it provides a weapon you can use to take power away from anyone– nazi skinhead fucks, rapist fucks, fucks who want to scream at you that you’re going to hell because having a kid right now was not in the cards.

    But hey, that’s just me. YMMV. The song rocks.

  • cdsafds

    Right on.

  • emilie

    ah amanda.
    seriously i’m trying hard not to cry while reading this. that could be because i’m getting overwhelmed easily by heavy issues in life at the moment.. but i think its because you hit the spot perfectly. right on.
    you amaze me. never before have i had anyone i felt i could relate to more than you, even though i’ve never met you before in my life. and you probably get this a lot.
    in fact, yesterday i went just about insane looking for my cds of yours…
    anyway. done gushing now. well sorta.
    you confront everything, everyone. you have so much pride in yourself. thats what i love so much about you. and you’re so fucking SMART. your blogs are so well written..
    i love you.. so much…

    i can’t really write anymore cause i still feel like crying. <3 I FUCKING LOVE YOU, AMANDA FUCKING PALMER.

  • Jess.

    It’s a fantastic Song :)
    Ignore what a bunch of idiots say xD

    You also look amazing in the film clip :D

    Cannot wait to see you in Sydney on the 25th!

  • bnumber2

    I think George Carlin said it best, “I can prove to you that rape is funny. Picture Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig.”

  • oldpunkscott

    What an ass ton of responses.

  • Ann The Sleeping (FarFarAway)

    I agree with every single word you wrote about this.
    But i’m also aware of few things. i’m a fucking realist, forgive me.
    first of all: fundamentalists don’t think and don’t change, they’re not elastic at all, and don’t analyse things, but use one clear patern to judge everything, to divide things into good and bad. to make the world simple and to know what to do. i’m sure you know that. that’s just the main feature of people, who choose conservative worldview.
    and people in mtv don’t care or elsewhere don’t care what is artists’ opinion about their art. they do care only about gaining the greatest auditory. to get both of the sides: the fundamental and the liberal one. so they look modern or even scandalous, but keep on having strong boundaries. Money is the keyword. not Art.
    i’m sure it’s truism, but i couldn’t help trying to put in words my thoughts.
    i’m going to write a few mails, anyway. i am angry, too. i’m not telling that i don’t believe in changes. i just wasn’t born as a fighter. rather as a talker, i think :)
    but without fighters “we’d go abckwards”, as you said. GO Amanda, say I, the undersigned.

  • http://gabrielgrub.blogspot.com/ June_Miller

    Snap left, snap right, snap in a half-circle. Then do the head wiggle.

    And a bag of chips, BITCH.

    Censorship in the UK just got served.

    Humor is all we have, sometimes, through some of the roughest episodes in life. If we didn’t use humor during those moments, we could end up dead just the same.

    They’re only seeing it from face value. ‘Oh, it’s a song about rape and abortion. That’s a no-no.’

    But also, would an organization like RAINN condone this song/the video? I don’t know. Probably not.

    It’s hard, man. Those girls go through something horrible, so should they just feel they should have to curl up into a ball and feel like a “Law and Order” episode and all-around feel like SHIT? Or, should they try to find dark humor in all of it, and use it to make them stronger and not let this be a road-block in their young lives? A road-block that sits there and will SERIOUSLY impact how you grow as an adult, at that?

    Rough stuff, buddy.

    But we got your back.

    Sleep tight..

  • Zelly

    I just love you.
    And you’re right. And I could try to say something super intelligent, but I think you said it.
    And I entirely agree with every word you said.
    Of course we need humor. Of course we need to be able to laugh about uncomfortable things.
    We wouldn’t get anywhere if we didn’t.
    But you said this, so I don’t need to.

  • Sarcasm

    Dear Amanda,

    I wonder if a kumquat would understand that any definition of irony must necessarily incorporate a tension between a surface meaning being stated and its opposite being intended? Which is to say, just because you’re being (arguably) “funny” by employing (arguably) “black humor,” you aren’t necessarily being ironic.

    I hate to give one of the greatest lyricists of our time a lecture in such a basic thing as irony, so I will just take it on faith that you intended to type “sarcasm.”

    Yours ironically,
    The Sarcasm

    • Sarcasm

      P.S. “greatest lyricists of our time” is an actual use of irony.

      • Marko

        One of the greatest lyricists of our time.

        I see no irony there – just a statement of fact.

        • jessica

          unless you dont really mean she’s “One of the greatest lyricists of our time.”

          but then you’d be wrong.

          Good day!

  • Alex

    Great song. It will offend some people, but causes no harm. It should be played. Besides… Christian Rock anyone?

    • jessica

      ewwwww /hides

      /vomits

      Christian rock….

      /cry

  • Jean

    You are brilliant and beautiful and couldn’t have said any of this better.
    The art and power of juxtaposition must just be lost on some people.

  • Amanda C

    Extra honest and stuff: I was raped, had an abortion, and they fucked it up so now all I can do is have cats. Sometimes it makes me sad, but I can make fun of it because I’d rather laugh and make fun of the situation that to cry about it. People take things too seriously, even when it’s a serious subject. Sometimes you just have to sit down and make fun of it to get over it.
    Like you know what pisses me off? I can’t have babies but I still get my period every month. Fuck you nature.
    Anyway, I didn’t find anything offensive about the song. I think it kind of touches on the way some people react to rape and abortion… and it brings true to light the way people who are religious deal with it as well. Has anyone gone to Planned Parenthood and seen the religious people outside? They do the same shit as in the video. If people are offended by that, maybe they should look at how they’re treating others.
    What would Jesus do? Not fucking hate anyone, that’s for sure.

    • jessica

      have you considered adoption?

    • Ink Carved Moon

      Had an abortation, not ready to have kids and still not ready now to have kids. Thought it was the right choise. Needed one year to get over it, it was horrible and painfull but as I said, I still don’t want children… Thanks to Amanda Fucking Palmer for giving us an example on how being ourselves no matter what ! I still need to find that strengh but I’m getting there !

  • Marko

    Amanda:
    Please don’t think that the furore over “Oasis” is indicative of the mass of public feeling in the UK. Unfortunately we currently seem to be at the mercy of a small but very vocal collection of fuckwits and busybodies whose sole raison d’etre seems to be to mercilessly analyse every aspect of modern culture, looking for anything at all that they can label as “offensive”, and then raise a clamour about it. Someone already mentioned the Ross/Brand affair and that’s a perfect example but unfortunately is far from unique. Despite all that, I still believe that the majority of people in this country can – and do – appreciate black humour and social-comment-via-comedy. You’re doing it right and you’re doing it beautifully – keep on doing it!

  • ThreeFingeredJack

    I saw the video, and loled exuberantly. Although I have to tell you if you’re looking for free speech this is not the country to search in. Take a look around at the CCTV on every corner, the laws against such things as “murmuring judges”, or the white-washed generic lyrics of every other song on the radio/television, designed with political correctness in mind, lest some irate minority take offense and heaven forefend, send a harshly worded letter. Clearly the secretary of such broadcasting companies just can’t take criticism, and so, to avoid a mass suicide of secretaries everywhere, the companies show only things that nobody can object to, to keep the people who open the hate mail from breaking down in tears.
    Sadly that’s a load of bull. The reality is that free speech simply doesn’t exist, or rather, exists within the confines of what is considered acceptable by out-dated ideas of accord and taboo. Its not even PC anymore, its gone beyond that to become some kind of anti-opinion, anti-free-thought ruling.

  • http://e-toile.org Libellule rouge

    I heard about all this in UK by a newspaper from Montreal, news got faster and further than ever… Just want to say that you’re totally right, I believe we’ve got to talk about those subjects, and it’s always when people begin to laugh at it that there’s the biggest controversy. Soon, they’ll realise it too.
    Continue to make such great songs and to laugh at everything. You put so much light and love into my life!
    Stay strong!

  • Z0D

    That reminds me of what a trip to the drug store led to.

    I was waiting to get antibiotics for an upcoming teeth removal.
    There was a girl before me.

    Facts on the little girl:
    -Pretty.
    -Obviously minor.
    -Bald, but not as in “I think it’s fashionable” but as in “I may have cancer”

    That’s for the part that happened in real life.
    Now… that’s what happened inside my head.

    I though about telling her how beautiful she were and it was a shame we were so many years apart (I’m 33; she was about… 14… it happens I know but it’s not the point here.)

    Then I thought about being called a monster even if my intentions were pure.

    Then I thought: “What if SHE was the one joking about it?”
    The following dialog popped in my head:

    -I’m sorry but I must tell you. You are magnificent. If only I was younger or you were older…

    And she would reply:

    -Well thank you sir. So it seems the problem you have here is: would you rather be a pedophile or a necrophile. I only have a few months left so…

    And I would be standing there, completely awe-struck.

    Now… I know it’s sick humor, but I thought it would be a blast.

    And as far as “Oasis” is concerned, I wonder: What about “Missed Me”? Has it gathered as much reaction? In my book it’s a bit in the same field, no? In a more poetic way maybe but still… a scalpel may look classier that a chainsaw but they both cut you up in pieces right?

  • Wildmushy

    I..m from Spain, my level of english it..s no very… big. So when I listen a song I don..t understand what it say… And I can feel emotion, I feel nostalgyst, happy, sad. Perhaps the song says the thing more stupid of the world, but I don..t undestand but the song continue producing in my fellings. And when I read the lyric, I understand, but it doesn..t change nothing. Music is music, It..s a song, it..s sounds, that the lyric is beatifull? Better, but in my opinión it..s the main thing. I don..t have readed the lirycs of “Who kills Amanda Palmer” and I enjoy a lot imaging tha it..s says the things that the music say me. So… music it..s not a message, it..s something beatifull, it..s art and (in words of Oscar Wilde) “All Art is Quite Useless”.

    Amanda, I´m going to the concert in Madrid. Please, take the ukele with you!
    My brother is drawing a picture for you. I´ll try that you sign him!

  • Tori

    And 50 years ago, you could not show couples on TV sleeping in the same bed because that was “inappropriate”. Now you cant expect to make money off any type of media unless it involves some sort of sex.

    So various rappers can broadcast their songs about drug use, promiscuous sex, and violence, but a speedy tempo accompanied by the words “rape” and “abortion” is off limits.

    THE HYPOCRISY OF IT ALL!

  • Heather

    Censorship is bullshit anyway no matter what country or station is doing it. My dream is to one day have a radio or television station that is completely ANTI-CENSORSHIP. No bleeps at all and the only way a song or video will not be accepted is if it is inartistic conformist make me cool and fit in “art.” Sadly, I have no capital and I live in the bible belt so it is unlikely to happen. Maybe you should do it, Amanda.

  • Adrian_D

    Here is a video of half the sad oasis version you played in London the other day. I loved the show, especially Have to drive with the Danger Ensemble was wonderful:

    http://gallery.me.com/a.dorr#100157

  • Zara Noble

    If anyone makes like of rape, its got to be the British Government, considering they only convict 5% of the rape allegations made to the police.

  • Guest

    Fuck YES.

    Sing It!

  • http://anybodysart.wordpress.com Nicole

    amanda,
    i think you’ve just written my manifesto.

  • Bina

    There’s a scene in Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes(Brilliant book) when this old man is assailed by the forces of evil. How does he defeat them? By laughing.
    Great post. Good rant. Lovely song. One of my favourites on the album.

  • http://www.allartburns.org jet

    I used to think the torch got dropped somewhere in the early 90s, but you either found it or lit a new one.

    Thanks, and don’t let the bastards get you down.

  • http://www.myspace.com/necromotion Ren

    That is VERY true.

    I’m one of those people who like to talk about everything without censoring what they call “inappropiate”. I don’t believe in taboos. I don’t understand people who get kinda itchy about that sort of things. Especially when it comes to art. It’s ridiculous how in Northamerica they censore nude art like in movies.
    Unfortunately we still live in a close-minded society that does not understand!
    I come from Mexico where we make fun of pretty much everything (death, sex, war, whatevs). We’re a society that likes to be happy even during the hardest times, it’s just part of our culture. I was a little bit confused when I came to Canada and no one could understand my sarcasm and black humour….they just don’t get it!!

    Once I uploaded a cute drawing of Alice to deviantArt. She had the death body of the rabbit in one hand and the head in the other, and some blood on her dress and on the floor. I didn’t check “mature content” ’cause it was just a cartoon, it was cute and funny…. but they thought it should be censored…..they said it was inappropiate and too violent. Man…I got really pissed off. I took it down just because that was ABSOLUTELY ridiculous and I there was no point of having a censored drawing, people will think that I’m uploading hardcore porn or something…..

    Oh well….

  • Klische

    Dear Amanda, you´re right.
    The British disappointed me totally…songs like Oasis are needed (I now that type of girl like in Oasis as well as I know very young mother, who refused abortion despite her immaturity)
    It´s needed to talk about everything bad in this world today and it´s better and more effective to talk about it with a humor, irony, satire. Because it´s more hearable than the simple facts and people think about it more…
    You´re not cynical, we know it, but the don´t …they think, you would deprave them…And that´s the most stupid thing, cause I see it sometimes, the stupid music videos with lots of nearly naked girls and a lots of expensive cars and everything is OK and super, everybody is beautiful and happy…and wealthy of course. And of course the´re full of many more things like violence and so on. These music videos are dangerous.
    Sorry for my bad english, see you sometimes in Czech Republic…Have a good time!

  • Amanda

    Amanda, I just happened to be listening to Patti Smith’s ‘Horses’ when I read your blog.
    She’s another woman who combined fantastic pop beats with lyrics of real intelligence and meaning, just a little coincidence there.

    As a Brit (and a massive fan of yours) I can only apologize for the fucking unbelievable amount of political correctness my country is spitting out at the moment. This all from the nation that embraced the whole idea of punk and encouraged it… WTF happened!?
    Art such as yours however, will last longer than fucking MTV so sweetheart just keep making it and we will buy it.

    You is crackin’.

  • Guest

    BBC rulez! :p How can I help make Oasis popular in Poland? Can I just suggest it to radio stations?

    Cheers from Poland, I hope you’ll perform here soon!

  • http://eolake.blogspot.com Eolake Stobblehouse

    Well done, Amanda.
    I’ve blogged it:
    http://tr.im/f9z9

  • http://www.desrispoli.com DeS

    I think this censorship is out of order. It is a kin to the Pope banning Madona when she did her video on the cross. Freedom of speech is just that..Freedom. The FCC tortured Howard Stern for years until he was forced to join Satellite radio (which was a good move away from those who try to control the airways.) These radio stations that won’t play your song are judging against our freedoms of speech. How does this upbeat fun satire music get banned and so many rappers live on to get Grammy’s for their dark work.? It’s unfair to judge Artist.

  • kicknrushqueen

    I think you’re incredible, absolutely spot on. It is disheartening, almost hilariously so that we’re still coming up against all these fears and prejudices (could the words to some extent be interchangeable?), but I suppose we have to take strength from the idea that all the greats have come across this kind of resistance, but in the end it hasn’t stopped them being fully realized? Some people are just incredibly one dimensional and their only weapon against anything which involves discomfort and a challenge to their notions of what the world should be is censorship. Censor anything which provokes thought, censor anything remotely taboo. But it’s just not ever been effective – things can be suppressed for a limited amount of time, but it never goes away and eventually it will overcome all attempts at oppression.
    ‘Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong’ – Oscar Wilde
    It’s an absolute pain in the ass but controversiality seems to be the label every true artist has to suffer to be heard in the end. Well we all know they can’t keep you down!

  • janett

    you´re talking bullshit my dear!
    you are not an artist, you are a popstar(let), of course you can speak and sing about what you want. but don´t expect that people will applaud to these words…

  • Michael

    I don’t care what other people think. I saw the video at the Pharyngula blog and I thought it was great

  • Mark-Alexis (“Alex”)

    Hey Amanda, new fan here. I got into you after reading your blog on T (“Tori Amos”) in 2005. I loved your honesty and candor and became a quick fan of your blog (I can’t say I popped in any of your music right away, though).

    Anyway, after another T-fan made a mixed tape of some of your work with The Dresden Dolls and some songs from your solo-album, my ears perked up. I won’t say I “loved” your music right away (the same holds true for when I first listened to Tori), but soon I caught myself putting some songs on repeat and before I knew it – well, here I am now (that should say it all).

    Anyway, I love your album and have been quickly catching up with you on youtube. Keep the good work and fuck ‘em about “Oasis” – it’s beautiful, sad, fun, tragic, confusing, nasty, tender – all of the things that people who have actually GONE THROUGH what the song is about have all felt at one time or another (including me).

    Anyway, looking forward to hearing more from you. Also, on a Tori forum that I frequent (atforumz.com) there’s currently a lil’ discussion/arguement going on about the similarities/lack thereof between you and Tori. The reason I mention this is because another member posted a picture of a copy of “The Beekeeper” (Tori’s 8th album) that you supposedly scrawled on. If it was really you, I loved what you wrote and have the same sentiments. “Boys For Pele” is my favorite album of Tori’s. It’s my favorite album period.

    DO MR. ZEBRA!!!!

    Much love, encouragement, and good energy thrown your way.

    Alex
    xoxoxoxo

    “I think happiness is when you can let yourself feel every emotion you want to at any time instead of just being a lying little fuck.” – Tori Amos

    • jessica

      OH more TORI AMOS COVERS PLEASE!!!!

  • http://www.leahpritchard.com Leah P

    I imagine you’re probably on top of it but, just in case, I thought I’d link you to this, in the hope that maybe that couple might see the photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/crazybobbles/3264421967/

    Wish I could have been there, but I had some money, work and travel issues… you were mindblowing in Bristol last year though, can’t wait until you come back xx

  • http://www.euchrid.co.uk euchrid

    Ah, I think you’ve misread the comment about “making light of rape, religion and abortion” – the religion they are referring to, must, of course, be that of Oasis, the band itself. Never offend the sensibilities of the British Music Press. I bet Oasis themselves would love the song if they heard it, but that is beside the point. The British Music Press do NOT like ‘the yanks’ making fun of ‘our bands’.

    If Marilyn Manson’s ironic statements can get full coverage on the above mentioned stations, then why can’t yours? Because you’re a woman? Probably. Because your message is a little too intelligent for the average sub-moronic music consumer these stations usually promote? Definitely.

    I suggest you respond by making a list of all the MALE bands that have made less sophisticated jokes about date rape, abortion and religion, particularly those which receive heavy rotation on the music networks. AC/DC, J Geils Band, Warrant, Eminem, 50 Cent, Nick Cave, Marilyn Manson, and so on have all made such statements through their music, intentionally ironic or not. Why are they allowed to spread their often dubious messages? I am willing to be Tori Amos will have such a list already, and I am willing to bet that your fans and hers could help out.

    Fight these idiots, please! We in the UK are sick of this kind of censorship.

    • jessica

      haha Yes they censored it because it made fun of Oasis!
      I get it now… it all makes sense

  • v

    Our society is dying.

    So…it’s fine and dandy for kids to perpetuate and encourage things like self-mutilation (read: emo music) and cowering in a corner at parties just to gain attention because WAH, NO ONE LIKES ME, NO ONE _LOVES ME_!!!, but…to face the very real issues in this world and try and cope with them is…bad?

    So, so wait. Lemme get this straight. Being an anti-social nitwit that just wallows in their depression, thus in turn making it worse, and looking for outlets to ‘relieve the pain’ (cutting, eating disorders, or even lashing out physical at others) is okay but…attempting to cope is not.

    Huh. Well apparently I’ve been doing it wrong! Please someone give me a razor blade and point to toward the nearest corner to go cry in.

    P.S. I am not trying to lessen the real problem people have with depression or people that have other such issues. No offense meant. I am however ripping on the emo trend that says staying inside all day and listening to music about cutting yourself because your heart is shattering is A-OKAY instead of…you know. Talking to someone about it? Going out and hanging out with people who like you? And once again I know how hard it is to do ANYTHING when you’re depressed, I’m simply sickened that perpetuating depression has become a fad. Yick.

    • jessica

      I agree. Laughing about your rape/abortion is a much more positive coping mechanism than cutting yourself (as I did)
      but they wouldn’t censor that… or would they?
      I am also sick of these faux punk emo fucks who wear eyeliner and sound like your typical top 40 plastic pop band.

      I also suggest that with PEOPLE DYING in third world countries from STARVATION maybe we should learn to be offended by REAL things rather than by what we see on the TV screen.

  • v

    DUDE WAIT I just thought of something!!!! I forget the name of the band but they play the song on Q101 all the time (Chicago Alt. station)…It’s called “Date Rape” and it’s this story of a guy that date rapes a girl, he gets convicted of it, and at the end of the song in jail he gets “butt-raped by a large inmate”. So while yes, I realize this is a BBC issues and not one over here in the states…If you heard the song it’s very up-beat and fast paced and clearly supposed to be on the more humorous side…I wonder if they play it over seas…

    Okay I will stop spamming now, sorry!!!

    • Kayden

      That sonf is by sublime catchy tune too…Almost as catchy as this song!!!! good job from Canada!!!

  • http://cloetilde.blogspot.com Cloe

    First: Amanda, Oasis video is one of the best things I’ve seen in my life.
    Second: The lyric is so fresh, funny and great that is to be applauded.
    Like you said is just a SONG.
    Fuck with them.

    Love and rock!
    xxxxxxxxxx
    Cloe.

  • Art Crass

    Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.

  • captainoo

    KUDOS.

  • Anon_Ymous

    You rock, Amanda!

    (Pharyngula had this clip on the front page today… never realised the bloke had such good taste in music :))

    P.S. Love how expressive your face is in the clip. Is awesome. :)

  • http://www.phileas-salamandre.webou.net Phileas Salamandre

    something in french:

    Cela ne va peut-être pas te faire rire, Amanda, mais cette histoire te fait une publicité énorme! L’Agence France Presse a même fait une dépêche dessus:

    http://phileassalamandre.wordpress.com

    C’est tout bonnement ridicule, cette histoire. Heureusement qu’il y a des artistes comme toi pour parler de ces sujets, et de ne pas les tourner systématiquement en drame. Merci!

  • Anon

    ^ This. Completely agree…the media are being careful not to ‘offend’ at the moment.
    And yes, they’ve missed the point by a large margin…

  • siri

    drunk. berlin right now. read. love. miss you.

  • teej

    You are bold and brilliant and totally my new hero.

  • Desider

    How can you joke about Oasis? Oh wait, cause they’re puerile washed-up wankers.
    Shouldn’t that be the guiding light? A nation that took Oasis seriously and can’t
    confront date rape and fundamentalism? Perhaps if you’d thrown “Let’s spend some
    mmmmm together” they would have been shamed into it?

  • kuri

    so Amanda
    just one more question about this song….
    did you actually got a signed picture by Oasis, or it was just the perfect excuse for the girl in the song to deny all the things that happened to her?
    oh Amanda… one more thing… COME TO MEXICO!
    you know, maybe after COACHELLA you can come around, it’s not that far…
    i know a lot of people who’d be glad to see you….
    i love you, really do… and no attack intended in the question above….
    xoxo

  • http://wanda-au-vert.blogspot.com/ Wanda

    Dear Amanda,

    I see your post already had a lot of comments, i’ll add one, hoping this one helps too.

    You will always face 2 opinions:
    My mother says people should not _never_ talk about rape on public means. That hearing a song, a tv show talking about it will be the trigger of a mad man allowing him to act. She is angry. I understand her point. Her child was raped, after all, and that’s her way to deal with it.
    I do not agree with her, and I thank you for this song. A youth of shame (it was forbidden to talk about it) really did not help me. Only great friends and therapy helped me to live with it. To make it part of my past. And to say the word “rape” that was stuck in my throat.
    Thanks to you, I even live with it, but I also can hear/use humour and stop being so serious about it.
    And I hope that victims who are not living with it yet will hear your song, and that it will help them.

    What you do as an artist touched me, and I am not the only one if you count the number of people coming here and commenting your blog.
    You will always have people in front of you, that do not agree with you, but you are so good, you should not be bothered by them. only sorry.

    I am thrilled you are coming in Dublin again so soon. I can’t wait!
    If you need a place where to get some rest, send me an email. It is not huge, there is no piano, but a nice girl with humour :)

  • http://www.phileas-salamandre.webou.net Phileas Salamandre

    Thanks for the show last night, very beautiful.

    live report le bikini/Toulouse on my blog (in french):

    http://phileassalamandre.wordpress.com

  • Run2theMoon511

    Amanda, all I want to know is the truth and I am so grateful that you exist and you have the thoughts that you do and you voice those thoughts and I am so grateful that I am not the only one who is moved by those thoughts and who feels so grateful for them. You give me hope. I live in a surburbia, one of many in the world, and I get to these points sometimes where I feel so outnumbered… afraid, and hopeless. It absolutely baffles me how deluded some people are, and how it is such a blatant choice that they make to be deluded, though I doubt any of them would ever be able to see that. I think comedians are some of the most important people in the WORLD because so many things are so STUPID and they get that! You are right; the day we cannot make jokes about everything, the day we have LOST.

    I feel like life is so short, and I want to do it right. I want to know the truth and always be willing to fight for it and to search for it when it is concealed. I want to be on this earth to help people and to understand that I am not by any means the most important person on earth; that I am a very, very small part of this grand scheme that I understand only imperfectly. I doubt I sound like I am making sense, but the point is I see humor in everything, and am so thankful that there are other people that do too- like you, like the comedians, like all of your fans who just GET what a waste of time it is to take things too seriously and to hide from the truth!! TRUTH and OPENNESS are not to be feared; it’s lies and denial and closemindedness.

  • Alice

    Awesome video. Timely (for me) as I’m reading the first ‘humor’ issue of a zine that deals with abortion, and it all comes back to the same thing – if people tell you you can’t laugh, then they’re saying you Must Feel Shameful And Somber – fuck that shit. Thanks for another great song.

  • Corry Seibert

    “Oasis” makes me think of how when I was a kid going through a bunch of fucked up shit, seemingly small things like MUSIC — an autograph from a favorite band, an awesome show, a new CD — really got me through. I honestly think when you are young and going through things that seem unmentionable and beyond your realm of belief, you get through by holding tightly to what’s good in your life, even if that goodness seems small in comparison to the darkness. I don’t know if that’s what you intended with the song, but it moved me and I’m happy you wrote it and are getting it out there. Thanks, Amanda.

  • http://feministmentalhealthuk.wordpress.co.uk shatterboxx

    I’m sorry, I think you’re wonderful, Amanda, but something about this post just doesn’t sit right with me… I love your album but I can’t listen to Oasis. It makes me feel panicky and upset (possibly triggering from what happened to me, I don’t know). I think a lot of this rests with the black-and-white argument that things are either funny or sad and in order to get through the darkness you *have* to laugh. It’s not true for me… I do laugh at myself some of the time but there are some experiences in my life that I don’t ever want to feel like I should laugh at and I think being raped is one of them. I don’t know whether I’d prefer a minor key version of this song, probably not… I can see what you’re trying to do and I think it’s really brave but bear in mind that we all need to find our own ways of dealing with things and having humour shoved in your face when you’re confused about something isn’t necessarily the best way forward. I’m a bit disturbed by some of the comments which suggest that if you’re not laughing at something then you must be wallowing in self pity… I think as a society we’re in danger of covering up harsh topics with humour which then can take away from their seriousness. Having said that, I’m willing to bet the BBC doesn’t give a damn about women’s issues, they’re just trying to cover their arse so that nobody complains.

    Like I say, I still think you’re wonderful, I love the rest of the album and look forward to everything you do in the future.

  • Anni

    Apparently those people who try to somehow ”abandon” your song do not understand that if you have been to such terrible things, the only way to comepansate those memories is humour, otherwise this would just kill you.
    I think it’s pretty sad, that you have to cope with people who seem to NOT participate into THIS reality, because if they did, they would let you play the song! Hopefully there will come a time when people understand how to deal with irony, sarcasm and plain reality. And where Art can be free…

    LOVE !

  • Fernanda

    You rule. Just like that. Every time I come here and read what you write, I get more and more sure that, if someone ever bothers to ask ‘who do you wanna be when you grow up?’ my answer is definitely gonna be ‘amanda fucking palmer’. Thank you for making my life better. Thank you for being brave enough to do whatever you wanna do, and inspiring me. Long live the humor, in obvious and in non-obvious places. Long live the Punk Cabaret. Thank you, Amanda.

  • Shayla

    I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this yet, because I’m not reading through 245 comments to find out, but the latest issue of Glamour Magazine has a several page article on abortion and how common it is, how it’s stigmatized which causes people to not want to talk about theirs and common misconceptions about abortions. It’s nice that something like this comes out when all this drama about “making light of abortions” is going on with you. Maybe de-stigmatizing it a little will help people realize that they’re making too big of a deal about Oasis.

    Sure, it can be a huge decision for someone to make, but that doesn’t mean it should be on the “Things that shouldn’t be joked about/discussed in public” list (which seemingly only consists of abortion). I don’t understand why something that over half the women population will get should be kept so quiet. Good luck with all the music drama.

  • http://brassycassy.deviantart.com BrassyCassy

    Here’s a non-sequitur, but I wanted to put it somewhere I’d know you’d read it:

    I just stumbled upon this video on YouTube of you, reading your poem about broken heart stew:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzkmppqHnqg

    … and someone wrote this in the comments:

    “please please please Amanda
    let me let me let me
    let me get what I want, this time.

    please put this on your solo record.
    there needn’t even be any music beneath it.

    please”

    … and I thought, what an excellent idea! And I hope you think so too! :)

    And I love you.

  • Iris Schimandle

    I work at Annapurna in Berkeley, CA, and Oasis is currently getting airplay on our internet radio station at http://www.AnnapurnaLive.com.

    Sucks that the bug guys won’t play it.

  • Ben

    Amanda, you HAVE to play Oasis in a mournful, minor way next time you do it live. And put it on YouTube.

  • jamie

    Hi Amanda,
    I’m a student DJ at my university radio station in the UK and I’m going to be playing “Oasis” tonight and hopefully you won’t mind if I read some of the stuff you just said on your blog… I think you are totally right about this stuff and it is awesome that you’ve put it that way. Thanks for saying it.
    — j

  • http://www.notjustanotherprettyvoice.com Amanda White

    Thought you would like this lecture on tormented arists and inspiration by “the Eat Pray Love lady”

    http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/453

  • http://devilplayspoker.livejournal.com Christoph Alexander Whitbeck

    you are my favorite.
    thanks for the inspiration and all of the love.

  • Sophie

    You know, I’m so fucking used to England’s reaction to this kinda shit that I’m not even surprised they banned it. You’re right, not being able to find darkness in humour does give it power. It depresses me how uptight everyone is, how unable people are to actually address a difficult situatuion. Rape happens so often and so often the girls end up blaming themselves and not being able to talk about it and it is society’s fault for conditioning us to think that if it makes you feel uneasy then it sould be ignored, put in a box to fester. Is it any wonder the suicide rate has soared? So many people are internally tormented that eventually they just give in and let the darkness take over. It’s true that being young is definitely shit but I’m not convinced that it ever gets better.

    P.S. Amanda, I’m the girl that told you she loved you before the Dublin show. I do and I’m still in awe of you. I realise I seemed completely retarded and stalkerish but just so you know, you made my Monday night a lot less shit than it would have been. x

  • soxie

    I was thinking about this post on the way home from work the other day. First, Amanda, I’m continually amazed by your ability to articulate these things not only in song form, but also directly like this. Right on.

    I’m right there with you on “Oasis.” The song I had the hardest time coming to terms with is “Delilah.” I’ve been close to enough of those situations that I instinctively react to “and if you take him home, you’ll get what you deserve.” You JUST DON’T SAY THAT, I thought when I heard it. EVAR.

    But like you said, there’s a problem with anything you JUST DON’T SAY. Even that. Partly because there’s always the question lingering of “uh, why don’t you just ditch the loser?” Like all of life, it’s complicated. And I have no interest in pretending otherwise. And I can tell you get that. If there’s anyone I trust to say “you’ll get what you deserve,” it’s AFP.

    “Delilah” seems to be the opposite of “Oasis” — instead of the serious subjects/happy tune juxtaposition, it’s full-on saaaaaad. It might very well have weeping and strings. But it’s definitely exploring the side of this that the sad stringy weepy domestic violence song is supposed to ignore. That’s why I like it.

    I make my living as an editor. My approach, if I could do things just the way I like, would be “Always assume the reader is at least as smart as you. Maybe smarter.” Sadly, the prevailing wisdom (as far as I’ve seen) is that communicating equals dumbing down. Sounds like the UK music industry subscribes to the “assume listeners are kumquats” theory. Boo on that.

    Keep doing your thing. We hear ya.

    P.S. Minneapolis please? I know we’re kinda quiet. But we heart you.

  • Scot Matheson

    Those scummy brits should just lighten the f up. What is wrong with the world when Amanda F. Palmer can’t get air time for a song, and millions of Palestinians live in forced squallor and nothing is said about it. We are living in an idiocracy where stupid people breed like rabbits and pay huge money for a no talent like Britney Spears while Amanda Fucking Palmer’s obvious goes unappreciated by the vast majority of the great unwashed masses. I guess I should be grateful for the stupidity and lack of taste of most people, because if Amanda’s popularity caught up with her talent, I wouldn’t be able to see her in a small venue like the Paradise Rock Club in Boston without a huge contingent of former commando security guards keeping us loyal fans at a “safe” distance. Rock on Amanda. I love your work. And screw the priggish critics.

  • Ramsey

    I spent a lot of time disseminating all the thoughts regarding Irony, humor, darkness, rape and body and control issues that this blog tried to address. There was a lot that was disposed off. The real question was asking what would be effective in getting my point across, So please don’t misconstrue this as drunken ramblings of a passerby.

    On behalf of all the people, including myself, who didn’t get the irony of your song, we didn’t deserve to be called a person who has two intelligence points above a kumquat.

    I will no longer be reading your blog. I have made other reading arrangements. Nor will I be participating in any other events or merchandise involving Amanda Palmer.

    Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to dealing with you directly through this comment section. That was very considerate of you. Best of Luck with the Future.

    Ramsey

  • Bananabrain

    Very very admirable to write a great ironic song like oasis after having similar experiences in the past. But strange! Never thought the oasis song would be banished in the UK. Banished why? Because of the band name? Because of the fact that there are more young teenage mothers in Britain than in other european countries and people perhaps think it is better too forget this? No idea! I need black humor every day to live my life. How can someone exist without?
    I was not surprised if the song had made problems in America. But anyway, my thoughts about the USA go in other directions than before since i have seen the pictures about Obama`s inauguration. So much positive energy in the american population! Juhuuuuu!
    I am glad for e veryone who can visit your next concerts.(And I am very very envious!!!) Music and lyrics are brilliant, you are divine live, and the Danger Ensemble is amazing! They should test to do improvisation-theatre, they would be great. Hopefully the relatives and friends of the australian members are safe and well after the horrible fire…

    P.S. I love your belly!!!

  • liberada

    i also love you.
    its dissapointing how uptight the media is.
    unless, of course, youre talking about something they agree with.

  • crystal

    This is one of my favorite songs not just on the record but out of everything I have ever listened to in my life. And I love it for everything that it is and talks about. There are so many of your songs that get straight to the point about issues that people don’t write about in songs and people don’t talk about in society but are so damn important. This song is brilliant and whether it’s in a slow temp or not just as fucking moving.

  • F.M.

    You’re so absolutely right. Especially this part rang true for me:

    “if you don’t know – or have never encountered – a teenager who is going through intense heavy experiences (like rape, abortion, eating disorders, abuse, fill-in-the-blank)
    and is laughing these things off like THEY DON’T MATTER, then you are not ALIVE and AWAKE and living on this planet.
    IT’S HAPPENING EVERYWHERE. i see it all the time. it’s called being a confused teenager. it’s real. it SUCKS.”

    Just kind of made me stop for a second and think about all the girls I know who are that.

  • daz

    I don’t see the comparison with Life is Beautiful, tho I think the song is open to a lot of interpretations really so they need to chill cos that’s what art’s about … opening something up and bringing in different ways of seeing things.

    You know, you’re right to say that there’s a social expectation that people sweep traumatic things like this under their carpet and “get on with life”, which is kinda like the protagonist in the clip. The uber popiness of the clip, the high camp, showiness of it is kind of like a mask. And it’s kinda laughing at the predicament. It’s probably more like the reality than something they would’ve wanted – teary and victim-y.

    Anyway, love your work. A friend introduced me to the Dolls a year or so ago. I love that Berlin jazz sound so was impressed.

  • jane

    when i discovered dresden dolls, i was in a hole of emotions about my own experience with rape, and other things i have done. the dolls’ songs helped me out alot by putting things into a perspective, and i was beside myslef that someone had the balls to write about these things, because thats the situation i was in. amandas lyrics were describing me. and oasis is just another one of those songs, and these people need to get over themselves and realize that these situations are real, and it actually helps to listen to this music, it helps to know that someone else went thru it too.

    thank you amanda. thank you for having balls… lol
    but i am sorry to say that the song might not go on the air because people cant handle the truth… even if it is in the form of humor….

  • Ravenpaine

    Not to be too alarmist, but YouTube has filed this video as ‘private’ and is barring access to it. Not sure how that happened or how it can be resolved, but it seems suspicious. Anyone have any information?

  • F.M.

    Although I do not believe you would like to, this is something that i feel compelled to link you to, mostly because I quoted you and crap. http://brainrevolution.blogspot.com/2009/03/if-you-dont-know-or-have-never.html

  • CTB

    Hmmmm. Not sure there is a directed point here. I follow all you’re saying, but it seems as you think they SHOULD play your song. They will do only what they consider profitable, and that is based on their understanding of their market (which I’ll bet is highly refined). The dollar value of your artistic and philosophical sentiments is hard to quantify, but their market share is very easy to measure as such. They could be wrong; everybody could love your song and flock to their brand name, but they think not.

    You have the right to write your songs. You’ve had the great luck and privilege to get it recorded. They have the right to can it, at their own risk.

    Still, your rant is likely aimed more at the world in general than the suits and bean counters. Alas, a voice in the wildnerness with a worthy if debatable sentiment. Good luck and come back to St. Louis.

  • Chris

    Hi Amanda,

    Thanks for explaining your position fully and in an intelligent way. I’m one of those annoying pro-life people, and I’m glad you’re willing to find new ways to express your thoughts and feelings on the issue.

    You seem to be arguing for the supremacy of the artist–unchecked, unfiltered. Let’s cast away, or at least suspend, communal sense of right and wrong in favor of the artist’s voice. For those playing the home game, “freedom of speech” is about the relationship between the government and speech. Cultures and communities always find a way to ignore or tune out voices that they dislike.

    If a man composed a song implying that violence against women is hysterical, and in subsequent interviews muttered some halting excuse that it was meant to be “ironic”, how would you feel? What if it was the guy who date-raped you?

    I leave it as an open-ended question.

    • Jesse

      “One of these days Alice, bang, boom, straight to the moon”

  • Paul

    About two years ago my high school sweetheart and good friend was drugged and raped. For months afterward I was furious and depressed and drunk.

    I was uncomfortable about “Oasis” for a while, and I did think “Why is Amanda Palmer making light of rape? What the hell is she thinking?” Since then I’ve realized that “Oasis” is about dealing with pain in a distinctly human way; by laughing at it. I still can’t laugh at “Oasis”, but at least I can smile.

    Your music makes me laugh and cry and feel every emotion that makes us so beautiful. I’m so glad I found your blog.

    p.s. My friend has recovered and she thrives. Her name is also Amanda.

  • BilliePie

    Dear Amanda,
    I think you’re awesome!

  • http://www.gospelhall.org Sunday School Teacher

    Even though “the song is not a lecture, it is a SONG” it still carries a message. Did you intend not to say something through the lyrics?

  • Donna Motta

    Brave, wonderful and I applaud you. Love the creativity, love the artistry, love watching your journey which (and this is not patronising) is only going to get way more interesting as you go through your 30s. The world needs more APs! :-) Best from Amanda Jane Palmer, now Donna post an early adoption.

  • Barf

    I thought “Oasis” was satire about the misplaced values of teenagers… Oh well, it’s still interesting.

    • http://www.collect-art.com/ Faqia

      Awesome post. I love stuff like this.

      • OneChanceOneLife

        If you can joke about abortion, I will give you credit for anyting. Nice song:))
        ____________________________________
        Utah Drug Rehabs

  • http://www.twitter.com/chehade Ignacio Chehade

    Hi Amanda!

    Im a comediant from Chile (South America) and what you are talking about is a problem EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD. Actually, in your country is a really soft issue compared to what happens here.

    I work on a TV show (cable tv, so we are supposed to have lots of liberties) but ia have been openly satanized by old and serious people that think they are authorities about morality and what we can and can´t say, do and think.

    Actually, just a couple of hours ago I made a Stand Up Comedy monolog about “Paternity” and one of the jokes was about how to raise a mentally retarded kid. In the same second that i said “retarded” almost every face in the studio became furious.

    Maybe your country media has issues about different subjects, but here in my country is the people itself the ones that try in the hardest way to put things under the carpet.

    Actually if you like we can exange country. SouthAmerican comedians see UK as a paradise to joke about anything.

    Keep your good job, be sure that is a war with thousands of battles around the globe. We can´t hesitate, we can´t keep our mouths shut.

    You said it yourself and i completely agree: Humor and darkness are opossites. We can and we will keep fighting darkness.

  • http://www.breastpumpdeals.com/brands/medela-breast-pumps.html Medela

    Great work Amanda!!!You rock !!

  • http://outsideartist outsideartist

    48 YEARS OF AGE….. I am 48.
    I have had 5 abortions.
    If I didn’t have the first,there wouldn’t have been any!
    I am a Christian.
    I have been Rejected by them.
    I am not Catholic.
    I am a Mother. My 2 children are now adults’ Boy 26 a Girl 18
    My daughter is an Honor student. My son a DJ and drug addict,a Father himself,and I have ONE GRAND BABY…CADENCE

    I did not Graduate…….I did not have consensual sex. I am not perfect or good.
    I got pregnant and mother took me to get abortions,It was a newly legal thing.

    I DID NOT KNOW A BABY WAS IN THERE MOVING AND EYELASHES!
    Dammit GOD DAM IT all ass holes THEY FUCKING KNEW! It was an ethnic cleansing Planed Parent Hood was after,getting rid of NON CONTRIBUTERS AS THAT WOMAN CALLED ALL BLACKS AND OTHERS weeds she called them..and the garden needed weeding! So they did what ever they could! I am convinced of this!!
    BUT WE ALL KNOW NOW we do! yes, now know! Those are babies with fingers and eye lashes! it isnt funny! IT ISNT FUNNY
    ……………as in your song….The barbarian raped me…I didn’t have any idea to stand up for my self….I WAS very weak………and had no guidance If your listeners are like I WAS…THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT THERE IS someone in their family that might not have a clue what is going on…..THEY ALL NEED A GOOD ROLE MODEL! AMANDA ARE YOU THEIRS? THINK THINK!
    I had no coping skills,or a Mother that Guided me… IF YOU ARE WHO THEY EMULATE AND WANT TO BE LIKE IT IS ABORTIONS ARE FUNNY LIKE A FREAK-IN DATE! you know this!

    You do now!
    Amanda…I don’t mind “the barbarian raped me. WORDS…IT IS A FACT AS IN MY CASE..too..but………..The Abortion funnies are and is too light hearted!

    I love your music and words. I get allot out of my gutt!
    I love your work as a single artist and as half of DD.

    It is a silly song and I cannot Imagine…how else to do the song…..I IDENTIFY WITH IT..

    I use to drink and get served ??WHAT ever I DID .
    Older men all the time…..I was left on my own all the time…..
    I got stuck places and if I called home I WOULD GET MY ASS KICKED IN BY MY ABUSIVE STEP FATHER..who tried to have sex with me as well. We owned a night club and I became a Go-Go dancer and drug additc and DRUNK NOT GOOD! NT GOOD OR FUN..
    TO date I am dammaged good…….s

    I simply need to say something,SO SHALL I!
    I SHALL SAY….I just do not like making light of ABORTION… I do not agree that kids[that are ] in my situation[as I was at 13-14 16] or other should be

    CONDEMNED FOR WHAT GOES ON….
    .it is for all the evil ,and ass holiest
    Mothers and FATHERS THAT HAVE THEIR eye on things that mean noting…
    Just Holler and Blame! And then make them get an abortion….

    And yes many get it 100% I believe some do NOT so when it is played out like NO BIG DEAL! It makes a bad copping skill!
    Please Think………..
    You are greatly loved by your fans… for your every word…..
    might be all they have!
    THEY SHOULD BE counseling their own..BABIES…..and the Unwanted baby situation would be less

  • R2D2123

    good blog. While i disagree with a few of the statements made such as “WHEN YOU CANNOT JOKE ABOUT THE DARKNESS OF LIFE, THAT’S WHEN THE DARKNESS TAKES OVER” and “the minute you discount humor, you give evil things POWER” because there is nothing to back up either anedcote, and neither are a direct correlation of each other, I do agree with the artists right to perform a song. However, i also agree with a companies right to determine what to play an what not to play. Its a market, maybe not a fair market, but life is never intended to be fair. I was a bit offended by comparing the song’s irony to Life is beautiful, just because Life is beautiful did not put the Holocause situation in an ironic, nonchalant light, but instead the main character USED humor as a way to help him and his son cope with the Holocaust and in the end, the boy gets his prize. However, i do see the comparison in how the character in the song uses humor to cope with her situation. However, the films overlying message is of a hope through difficult times, whereas i do not see the same message in the song, which is more of less of a hope within the situation, but as a way to avoid the reality of the situation through the characters affinity with the group. THe music is powerful though, and i do appreciate it for what it is: a song performed and written and produced by talented individuals. However, i do feel companies, corporate radio, and small time radio stations have the right to play, ban, promote, etc. who they want to promote, and thus allowing the underground music to remain pure and untainted. It doesnt matter who plays your songs. It matters who hears them. And if someone can be uplifted by your music through a show or a podcast or an underground internet station, then you did your job, and you can call it a day, and do another show.

  • http://www.selectarearugs.com traditional area rugs

    This article really show what the reality is..
    Personally, I’m not agree in legal abortion…
    Great post.. I’m glad that you post this… And nice video…

  • Ihategroupies

    It’s so totally fucked up if you get to think about all these doublestandards and awfule contradictions you can find in this whole story!

    On MTV, they are airing all these videoclips of Hiphop Artists (sorry for all HipHopGangstarrrFans, but I think you know what I am talking about) who behave like pimps, and are surrounded by naked girls who are basically regarded as a piece of nice meat, always willing and free to use for others and then, on the other hand, they ban videos and songs that deal with sex, sexuality in a serious, differentiate, respectful, humorous, etc just in a GOOD, well, lets be a teacher, educative, prolific way…

    and we still wonder why this god damn earth is so mad, crazy and full of problems?

    aah, well, lets just keep our black humour…haha, funny that we’re ending right where we’ve started, the exact same spot…

    love you, amanda, you are such a strong women…you have been date-raped, you had an abortion, you had really tough times but you are a fighter and thus a great inspiration or me!

    xxx
    Annina, biggest fan of Switzerland

  • Ihategroupies

    It’s so totally fucked up if you get to think about all these doublestandards and awfule contradictions you can find in this whole story!

    On MTV, they are airing all these videoclips of Hiphop Artists (sorry for all HipHopGangstarrrFans, but I think you know what I am talking about) who behave like pimps, and are surrounded by naked girls who are basically regarded as a piece of nice meat, always willing and free to use for others and then, on the other hand, they ban videos and songs that deal with sex, sexuality in a serious, differentiate, respectful, humorous, etc just in a GOOD, well, lets be a teacher, educative, prolific way…

    and we still wonder why this god damn earth is so mad, crazy and full of problems?

    aah, well, lets just keep our black humour…haha, funny that we’re ending right where we’ve started, the exact same spot…

    love you, amanda, you are such a strong woman…you have been date-raped, you had an abortion, you had really tough times but you are a fighter and thus a great inspiration to me!

    xxx
    Annina, biggest fan of Switzerland

    German-speakers, please visit: http://www.riot-grrrl.de

  • Amadeus

    Actually it’s sort of really rare to find an actual post in an actual blog written by an actual person who actually changes your views on something. But that’s what it did to me. Thanks, Amanda, I fucking love u.

  • http://www.myspace.com/kittwalker Kitt Walker

    I have to say, it’s not really appropriate to sing about it. I mean, they only just broke up like 3 weeks ago.

    Way too soon.

    lol

  • Aisha

    Is it wrong that “Oasis” makes me cry?
    I mean, I get that it’s ironic humour, but to me it was always so blatantly serious and it reminds me of my adolescence and the way that when horrible, horrible things like this happened to me, I had my CDs, I have my concerts and everything was okay suddenly to me.

  • AngelinaBellew

    In Europe, it is common to see many people seated around a retro bar table while they’re on a date. There, dating is typically a blind date uncensored group event. In Finland, up to 30 teenagers can catch a movie together. And in Spain, a pandilla allows teenagers to join a club or several friends who have the same pastimes. Although they are not Dutch, the practice is to “go Dutch” on dates.

    • Finn

      What the hell are you talking about

  • lottaa

    Hi Amanda,
    the reason you touch me with your music, is because you are pretty honest. And the dark shit that happened to you shouldn’t be covered up. I’m glad you do wrote this song (which I like!). Because a lot of people have to deal with it, and it is even harder to deal with it, when you can’t talk openly about it.
    The dark shit in my life is a bit covered up, but why should it? When I make jokes about it, it makes it easier to deal with it. And besides that, if you only see the dark shit, it eats you up. I love the art you make of it. It is real, it happens, so it should be out and open.

    Please keep writing about this, because it helps me. And I bet it helps a lot of people.
    Thanks,
    love,
    lotte

  • AngelusMortis

    Let me rip you limb-from-limb. Now THAT would be funny.

    • shoo

      *pats head*
      Run along little troll, back under your bridge now…

  • AngelusMortis

    You know what was really funny. Matthew Shepherd dying because he was being such a jerk by psychologically harassing the kid who killed him. That was REALLY funny. Perhaps you should laugh about that, too. Oh, and while you’re at it, let’s laugh about all the serial killers in the world. Did you know one of Jeffrey Dahmer’s young victims was rescued by a couple of women who called the cops, and the cops sent the young man, who was confused and bloody, back home with Dahmer because Dahmer said the kid was Dahmer’s adult lover? The cops laughed at the incident later on (like you would, no doubt). The kid was later killed and dismembered by Dahmer. Kinda like you had your own baby dismembered when you were 17. Funny, no??? You know, you’re right to say humor is our salvation. But laughing in the face of victims does nothing to save the victims. But since you think so, you would probably laugh at your own dismemberment, would you not? I would hope so. Hehehehe….

    • Jennifer

      It wasn’t a baby. It was a fetus, otherwise known as a collection of cells.

  • Tracey

    I do agree with many of the things you wrote, although I don’t believe joking about the darkness of life is always possible or appropriate. It so often depends on who does the joking, doesn’t it? You have every right to treat the issues of abortion and rape in any way you find appropriate, because you went through that shit and you are allowed to deal with it in your way. But I do wonder what would be the reaction if it were a *guy* singing a jokey song about rape and abortion. Would you yourself be able to see the humor, and see the song as a way of dealing with the darkness of life? Or would you be inclined to perceive such a song as making fun of pain and abuse inflicted upon women (which is obviously how people in the UK perceived it and thus banned it)? I agree with some things you said, and I’m very much against censorship of your song, but I find it incredibly naive that you can’t see how many people, many women, would be hurt and offended by the way you’re dealing with issues that may have scarred them for life.

  • Kajjie

    I can understand SOME censorship of the song. It’s not something I’d want children listening to as they can’t understand the issues in the song the majority of the time and I don’t know if they can understand dark humour. However, I can’t really understand why not play it after 10pm. Particularly as alternative music fans tend to appreciate dark humour.
    It’s funny how it’s often people who haven’t suffered the subject of a dark joke are the ones who say it’s wrong. Britain does have a problem, I think, with letting people speak for themselves. It’s generally referred to as political correctness – assuming you know what a certain group thinks, and assuming they’ll be offended by most things.
    I like looking at it in context of them banning the Sex Pistols and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Your music is the start of what things will be like in the future – initially a few people start talking frankly about something (like people singing about sex in the 80s), and initially they’re censored and have people say they’re evil or whatever, and then, slowly, others catch on and start talking about these things.
    There’s far more harmful shit on the radio and the TV than ‘Oasis’.
    I apologise to anyone who reads this for the poor wording.

  • PerfectImperfection

    i agree with every single word you’ve said Amanda..i’ve been molested by few ppl n member of my family..n i do have the fucking RIGHT to express n kick that shit out of me WITH ANY WAY I WANT..i hope the video will be on air..it MUST go on air..!!

    im glad and thankful for ur existance Amanda..u really helped me thru lots of shit n gave me new prespective of some things..

  • Bruna

    go ahead, girl. theres much more to be said about this topic, but a few people do. you’ve done a great job!

  • Scoob

    Amanda Palmer earns tens of thousands every month, and hires people for free.
    And makes songs about rape.
    Yes, I see the irony.

    Doesn’t mean I want to hear it on the radio until she can hold a note.

  • home made rainbow fishnets

    My girlfriend is pro-life, and I’m surprized about how much it irks me, even though she forgave me for calling her stupid. She’s an amazing person, and I feel like a bitch for thinking about it still. But honestly, I’m not a feminist, but as a girl, I want equal rights. Guys can “stick it in” whenever the fuck they want, because they’re goddamn stronger than girls, but people, EVEN FEMINISTS WTF, are saying that abortion is wrong. Why would anyone want to strip women of the right to their body? Why would a meat eater say that aborting a fetus is like killing a baby? If fetuses think, they aren’t nearly as advanced as cows, birds, fish, and so on. They don’t know ANYTHING. Maybe they can process pain. But they won’t process that they’re being killed.

    TBH, when I first saw the music video, my reaction was “I LOVE AFP.” The music video’s mildly offensive, but it’s not some happy story about a girl who gets raped etcetera. It’s a story about a girl who is so happy about Oasis that this shit doesn’t bring her down. Funny. She’s making light of the girl’s experiences, but playing the girl, acting as the girl would, and saying shit the girl would. I never make light of rape. I rarely make light of abortion/teen pregnancy. But shit, people, that wasn’t the point of the fucking song. She doesn’t give a shit, obviously, but she’s also making a fictional situation about a girl who’s obsession with a band makes it “okay.”

    Even though Amanda Palmer says that her experiences don’t cut her slack, it makes it many times less offensive that she’s dealt with terrible shit…

    At least she doesn’t write stream of concious songs about kissing girls, and doesn’t kiss girls. At least she doesn’t stereotype “metrosexuals.” At least she’s aware that gender norms are the worse things ever. At least she doesn’t fetishize questioning teens. At least she doesn’t exploit gay suicides.

    Also, I love her. Amanda, if you’re reading this, you’re an amazing person AND I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE MARRIED TO NEIL GAIMAN HOLY SHIT <3 People need to stop giving her shit, and also stop hating on her body, because she is the sexiest musician EVER. (Also skinny as fuck, screw her old label…)

  • Missshalon

    My room mate showed me this video. It was the first of your songs I’ve ever seen or heard. It Made me smile. Made me an instant fan. reminded me of many people I know who make very light of important things and focus enormous amounts of attention and energy on unimportant ones like bands, and movie stars. I remember. Heck. I’ve spent more than half my life pretending to ignore the scary crap and trying to focus on the small stuff. since the small stuff was the only good stuff in my life. I love the Chorus.

    I’ve seen better days but I don’t care/ Oasis got my letter in the Mail.

  • ellyn

    sometimes you must laugh to keep yourself from crying.

  • ulapsujico

    The word is Brechtian. Never thought the brits would ban something so deliciously black.

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    OMG! You must laugh to keep yourself from crying.

  • Alita World

    Amanda, I think that you are right on everything but one point. I think that to joke about rape it’s better that you have experienced it. And we should all joke about it more, talk about it more, admit to it more, tell others about it. Because what happens is that rape victims become afraid of the reaction if they tell. Instead of being a story about how some loser who couldn’t get any took some, and how you or I survived it, it becomes a story that no one wants to talk about. Unless, as you said, it’s through tears as they can handle that. Fuck this! We can joke about a man getting beat up for his wallet. It’s time to bring rape out in the open, and tell girls chances are it is totally going to happen to you. So that we can prepare them for it, and warn others, and place the blame and shame openly where they belong instead of in our own minds. Thanks for the song! Alita, burlesque performer, elementary school teacher, writer, and rape survivor. http://alitaworld.wordpress.com

  • bishopjordan

    i like your blog. it is great. I’ll be back on your post hope will get new update.
    Laws of prosperity

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    The first use, the private one, was by far the most common throughout the life of the madrigal, and it was through these enthusiastic gatherings of amateurs that the madrigal acquired its fame. However, in the last two decades of the century, virtuoso professional singers began to replace amateurs, and composers wrote music for them of greater dramatic force. 

  • Pamz8

    i think perhaps even more fascinating than the irony of the subject matter is the way in which it is presented. i loved your point that had the song been slowed down, it would be more socially acceptable. i took a sociology of the arts course in which we tackled very similar subject matter. how does the presentation of a song essentially shape the content and the way in which we understand it? 

    amanda fucking palmer…you are a goddess<3 

    best, pamela 

  • N. K.

     Whens times are hard and life is shit, I re-read random blogs of yours. I don’t know if you go through the comments left, but fancy writing a song about auto-immune diseases? Seriously – would be a life saver (maybe not literally). But this song was. It really made every bit of difference. A fucktillion thank you’s, you’re a beaut. x

  • Sarah Luna

    I just wrote a blog entry about this amazing video.  Thanks for the great work! 

    http://popwithpolitics.blogspot.com/2011/11/making-light-of-rape-religion-and.html

  • firebird

    You say you want ‘equal rights’ but you’re not a feminist. I suggest you look up the definition of feminist.

    • Ndt

      Feminism: “An attempt at socially branding Marxism in the 1970’s by a bunch of Columbia University professors who believed the personal success of others (IE capitalism) was worthless if they couldn’t somehow benefit from it.

      Feminism’s success is entirely due to two factors: The public’s ignorance of economics, and the culturally implicit belief that we must protect women, at all costs.

  • Sueonmaui

    Here here, rock on, keep doing what you are doing. Don’t let the bastards get you down. Those of us above Kumquat level get it. Seize your day, the passion you have for life shows through your music. NOBODY can take that from you.

  • Matt Spitzli

    I enjoy the song, but somehow I can’t bring myself to care whether it gets radio play. Sorry.

  • Sophie

    I’ve been date raped and I just wish to God that people would let me talk about it openly, blunty, with humour, without telling me I need to ‘go and talk to someone’ every time I drop it into conversation (because out of the two of us involved in the rape, obviously I’m the one who needs help!). Thank you Amanda, for this blog and this song, and for standing up for those of us who refuse to be ashamed. x

  • unsleepable

    As someone who has been through all kinds of shit as a kid and teen, I so identified with this song. Distraction and laughing things off is how we deal. Nearly all humor comes from darkness. The way I see it, it goes Bad Thing Happens -> Darkness -> Humor -> Healing -> Active participation in life. Glad to see this retweeted today =)

  • Chrissy

    Oh my god, the point about pro-lifers eating meat is priceless. I may have to steal that in the future.
    Well said.