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MAP OF TASMANIA: a short history

so, my friends, within the past 24 hours, i’ve tweeted and pubically (sic) released the “single” off the forthcoming “amanda palmer goes down under” record.
i’m happy to report that pretty much everybody loves it (pop justice named it “song of the day”, in fact). also, some people hate it which is…just about right.
ja.
it’s time to tell the whole story of this little song for those who havent followed it since its bizarre inception.
the story is as much a part of the song as the song is, and it bears telling…..
last year, i went to play in tasmania for the first time ever.
should i tell the long story or the short story? i’ll aim for the middle.
so, last year i was in tasmania for the first time.
neil’s father died. just…dropped down during a business meeting. no warning. heart thing.
neil called me.
i was in perth, australia (famously known for being the most remote city in the world…the more populated city furthest away from populated cities).
it was the end of a long, long, long grueling tour and it was really late at night, australia time.
i got the call when i was in the back of the Big White Van That Mostly Worked with steven mitchell wright, zoë keating, and the rest of the danger ensemble.

romany and adam – who we were staying with – lived 45 minutes from the venue, and we were driving through the night to our beds.

for poetic contrast, we had spent the day before on the beach near our host’s house. here we were:
001
(most of us that is; steven and lyndon refused to go to the beach): mark, zoe, me, cat, katie kay, and tora.

so…late at night. Big White Van That Mostly Worked.
i get the call.
neil says, in his very british way, “this is a little strange, but my father just died.”
we’d only been dating for a few months.
i knew him well enough to know and i know People When People Die well enough to know that there was no way i was going to really know how he was, because how can you.
i said: “i should be with you: where are you going? to london?” and neil said “no, don’t come. you have more tour dates” and i said “there’s only new zealand and tasmania left. they’ll live. i’ll cancel the shows and make them up next year” and he said “that makes it worse. the tasmanians never get anybody” and i said “does that make it worse or better, honestly?” and he said “i’d rather you go play tasmania than come here. it’ll make more people happy.”
and i thought, “if we measured our lives that way where we would be?”
but i stayed.
neil went off to funeral things, and i went to tasmania.
i’m about to do it again.
i was already as tired and crazy as you can get on a long tour on the other side of the world from your home, but having a boyfriend with a freshly dead father made me even more tired and crazy, because i missed him, worried about him, and wondered if i’d done the right thing. and thought maybe the right thing would have been to ignore neil’s very-british insistences and just cancelled my tour, and gone to hold his hand while he felt whatever he was going to feel.
i’d forgotten this whole part of the story.
i’d forgotten it until i went back and watched the video clip of “map of tasmania”, the day i wrote it backstage in the bar in hobart, tasmania.
and i remembered, because i was looking at the footage, and trying to place where my head was at, where i was on the tour, who i was staying with, and what the hell was going on.
that’s when i realized that maybe it wasn’t just the touring. it was the worrying. maybe that’s love.
i had this thing i loved that he did…the way he said things. especially certain words; schedule. banana. tomato. they just sounded incredibly sexy in his british accent. i would ask for him to say them again and again and again and again.
i would say, “say tomato…”
“say it again.”
and he would.
when i went to bed that night in perth, he was about to do a signing in new york for hundreds of people.
i said goodnight and went to sleep on the floor.
and i woke up five hours later in the middle of the night and i called beth, who went to visit him for me to bring him a present for me, and he was still signing.
he didn’t tell any of the people that he had just found out that his father died a few hours before. they didn’t know.
beth gave him my present. it was a schedule, a tomato, and a banana.
when i woke up seven hours later, he was still signing.
beth gave him the present when he was all done. beth was an amazing assistant that way. she threaded my life together when i was across the globe by doing things like running around new york to find a schedule, and banana, and a tomato.

she took this picture:
002

 

neil tells people nowadays about our relationship and about what happened when and how. and sometimes he says that he knows i loved him when he called me on that late night, in the back of the Big White Van That Mostly Worked, when i told him i’d come to him. i think maybe i knew too, something i didn’t know before.
anyway.
i wound up staying with dianna graf, an artist-type who was also a friend of neil’s who had not offered me a place to stay but was more or less responsible for getting me the gig, since when she saw i was coming she promised to find SOME sort of bar or pub for me to play in (and she did).

so you know, tasmania is not here:
003

it’s here:
004

 

anyway.
she told me, the day of the gig, about the term “map of tasmania”.
apparently, in australia, you can hear bogans (aka jocks) shouting “SHOW US YOUR MAP OF TASMANIA” out of moving cars when they pass by tasty looking morsels of the female persuasion.
whether this debased mating call actually works is a topic of debate in some cellar that i’ve never tread in (simply put: doubt it), but i loved the term of phrase. i mean….

005

….you can see the point. uhhhhh.
anyway, i started thinking how funny it would be if i penned a ridiculous “map of tasmania” song that night, in honor of the little island i was playing on.
and in honor of….well, you know. the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want with the Hair Down There.
so here it is, in all it’s glory. i’m not lying in the clip about how long it took. wait, i actually probably am lying. my guess is the song took me closer to a half hour to write….not 7 minutes.
it is NOT a lie that i wrote it 45 minutes before the show. ask jeff. he’ll tell you.
there is a light that never goes out.
i asked casey to read this blog after it was all written. this part wasn’t written yet.
she said, kind of, “what does neil and his dead father have to do with ‘map of tasmania’?”
well, nothing, really i guess. i could make a connection if i wanted to. and maybe i want to.
there is death.
and there is joy.
but i guess that’s too easy.
maybe: there is sadness, emptiness, tiredness, love, and out of it manifests the strangest things.
i think that’s more like it.
here it be, in all almost-3-minutes of glory:
….my favorite part of this clip:
me: “it’s a very simple song”
random girl: “just like tasmanians!”
if you’ll notice, i mention at the end of the clip (at around 2:34) that it’s my “secret dream” that the song will get remixed with some PHAT BEATZ.
well…after the song hit youtube a few random remixes DID crop up, both on youtube and through the usual net channels….using the shitty shitty youtube audio.
and my voice sounded like ASS that night.
months passed. i decided to make a record for australia.
and i thought that maybe there would be something to the idea of breaking all bounds of every and anything i’d done before and partner with a DJ and actually create some Phat Beatz for “map of tasmania”, as an amazing joke of pure epicness. lo and behold, not long after i had that thought, i wound up in france (don’t ask) going to some crazy french music awards where i found myself sitting dumbfounded watching the black eyed peas and jay-z and beyonce singing a few feet from my head, and wondering what KIND of fucking life i’d stumbled into. my random comrade for the night wound up being the DJ hal ritson, who runs the Young Punx outfit out of the UK – known mostly for his work with Dizzee Rascal and other way more credible people than myself, but i managed to convince him that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make Phat Beatz for song about Pubix Hair Freedom sung by a crazy chick with a ukulele.
and ohhhhhh….the remix possibilities.
word on the street is that peaches has already agreed to write and record a rap for it. i’m beside myself.
here it is in it’s finished form, my friends……
it’s up on bandcamp now, available for free (or name your price), as is the AFP way.
i hope you enjoy for everything it’s worth.

the image you see above was taken by kyle cassidy at the video shoot.
be excited for the video, be very excited…..
meanwhile: in case you missed the blog yesterday, dates for oz and new zealand have been announced! as always, more info can be found at my site, and people on the mailing list usually get the heads up before everyone else.
20101215-03
January 15 TASMANIA (MONO FOMA Festival)
w/ Mikelangelo & The Black Sea GentlemenFREE CONCERT | ALL AGES | INFO | RSVP

January 17 TASMANIA (MONO FOMA Festival)

FREE WORKSHOP | ALL AGES | INFO | RSVP

January 26 SYDNEY (Sydney Opera House)

w/ Neil Gaiman, Meow Meow & Lance Horne,
Mikelangelo and the Black Sea Gentlemen, and more TBA!

$32-$80 | ALL AGES | TICKETS | RSVP

February 1 CANBERRA (James O Fairfax Theatre)

$55.80 | All Ages | TICKETS | RSVP

February 4 PERTH (Fly By Night)

$53 | ALL AGES (see below) | TICKETS | RSVP

Under 18s must attend with parent/legal guardian – more info HERE.

February 10 BYRON BAY (Great Northern)

$55.60 | 18+ | TICKETS | RSVP

February 12 BRISBANE (The Old Museum)

$55.60 | 18+ | TICKETS | RSVP

20101215-04

February 17 WELLINGTON (Webstock)

CLINIC – w/ Jason Webley

$375+ | TICKETS | RSVP

February 18 WELLINGTON (Webstock)

CONCERT – w/ Jason Webley

$375+ | TICKETS | RSVP

February 19 WELLINGTON (Bodega)

MORE INFO TBA | RSVP

February 22 CHRISTCHURCH (Al’s Bar)

MORE INFO TBA | RSVP

February 23 AUCKLAND (Kings Arms Tavern)

MORE INFO TBA | RSVP

20101215-05

February 26 MELBOURNE (Forum Theatre)
w/ Mikelangelo & The Tin Star, The Jane Austen Argument
w/ other special guests TBA!
$57.90 | 16+ (see below) | TICKETS | RSVP

16 & 17s must be accompanied by adult throughout duration of show

March 2 ADELAIDE (Fringe Festival)

w/ Evelyn Evelyn

MORE INFO TBA | RSVP

March 2 ADELAIDE (Fringe Festival)

AFP SOLO (no Jason or twins)
MORE INFO TBA | RSVP

March 3 ADELAIDE (Fringe Festival)

AFP SOLO (no Jason or twins)

MORE INFO TBA | RSVP

~~~~
LOVE

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  • http://twitter.com/HellaRad Stephanie Painter

    MIND FUCKING BLOWN.

  • http://twitter.com/ThatGirlSabs Sabs

    Love, love, LOVE!!!

  • Amelie

    Damn, the Banana/Schedule/Tomato photo and the whole surrounding story are very close to making me believe in love… Damn you, I’m a steeled cynicist !

    • http://twitter.com/becaolivetree Beca Oliveira

      It exists. Promise.

      (it just hides very well sometimes)

      (and is flawed, after all, since people are involved)

  • Beautrix

    I can’t fucking wait to see the video! That was a good night… a very good night, indeed!

  • http://mendthiscrack.wordpress.com Andreas

    This song is so awesome, and it’s great to know the story behind it! Thank you for being so amazing as to write a song about pubix hair freedom. You rock!

  • Starlithome

    Awesome.
    Love.
    There are no other words.
    L.O.V.E.

  • Jacob Orion

    Nice story. Cool song. I like when you do vlogs! Do more please!

  • http://twitter.com/artrockrebel Miss NJ

    Firstly, thank you for even coming to Australia. We’re so far away, and so expensive to get to for independent artists and musicians, who have to brave Big White Vans That Mostly Work and sleep on people’s sofas, just to play for us. We do appreciate it. And I apprecite ‘yer face. Just saying.

    Secondly, I fucking love this story. When I was with an ex partner of mine (who I still kind of adore, long story), his aunt, who had raised him, died of cancer mere weeks after we got together. It was such an odd time, because althought I think we knew we had something special, it was sort of amplified by the fact that he KNEW he could lean on me, and I KNEW I wanted to take care of him, even after such a short period. It just sort of all clicked together. Death can bring beauty. Beauty can bring death. It’s all one big fucking circle.

    See you in Adelaide.
    <3 – NJ

  • PolitelyOffend

    I have to admit, after listening to Smodcast, where you guys were talking about how you get turned on by neil saying certain words, I nearly just walked up to you and said “Wastepaperbasket” and left it at that.
    Great blog, I teared up a bit at the photo of neil. you two are beautiful.
    Thanks,
    Sam

  • Leishkin

    you made me cry. You are amazing, as always. xoxo

  • http://twitter.com/diannagraf dianna graf

    oh, Amanda! i still feel bad about the SOME sort of pub – it might’ve seemed less of a dive if there hadn’t been so many rude punters at the bar that night. (fair warning: this time, they’re putting you in a SHED! i know. SO wrong. but if you remind everyone to bring flowers, it will be okay.) you and Jeff were the best house-guests we’ve ever had. we’re forever grateful that you came all the way to tasmania. Neil is the kindest, most generous man in the whole world, that he sent you here to be with us, when he needed you to be there for him. and you were amazing. you shone like a star, despite the exhaustion and sadness, and not feeling well. we have only love for you. this time, everything will be way better. XOX

    • Bec Tilley

      Hey, it’s a pretty awesome shed :P

  • whowillsurviveinamerica

    “for all it’s worth” which is nothing

    • http://twitter.com/AHisme Ayala

      Obviously you like it here. Otherwise you wouldn’t waste so much energy on stupid, useless sentences. There, there.

  • http://cdoh.tumblr.com/ Cat

    Got my tickets yesterday and am beside myself with excitement. I’m heading from Sydney down to the Melbourne show, because I can’t make it to the Australia Day show (I’ll be on a beach at a BBQ – true Aussie style).

    Also Amanda, I just wanted to say that I read every blog post, and your honesty inspires me. Neil’s dad may not have an obvious connection to the song, but it shows your headspace… and the banana/tomato/schedule thing is the sweetest thing ever.

  • Coedy

    “beth gave him my present. it was a schedule, a tomato, and a banana.”

    dude, seriously. that’s possibly the most beautiful thing i’ve ever fucking heard!

  • Ggurr

    please peaches PLEASE

  • http://www.twitter.com/neversaynikki Nikki

    everything about this is right.
    thank you for being amazing.
    you make me believe in the power of incredible music, and in freedom and love.
    i’m not sure i would have believed if it weren’t for you.

  • http://twitter.com/AHisme Ayala

    I love these blogs in which you tell stories the best. It’s always funny, sad and full of love.

  • bridget

    it’s kind of awesome because the first time i heard the song (yesterday) i was thinking you were channeling your inner M.I.A.

  • Emi!y

    Amanda, I think that’s my favorite song of yours. Love it!

  • http://twitter.com/MarkLidstone Mark Lidstone

    Jesus Christ, this blog post made me…..feel. I wish someone would send me a schedule. I almost proposed to you in LA but I have too much respect for Neil to steal you away from him.

  • http://twitter.com/dreamstobecome Alyson Grauer

    The bit about Neil made me teary. I think I just love you both so much, as so many people do….

    The song is kickass, and as usual, you are the only person I can think of who would a) write it, b) perform it, c) market it, and d) MAKE TONS OF PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR SINGING ABOUT PUBIC HAIR.

    You win again.

  • Me

    Dear Amanda,

    The American equivalent of a bogan is not a jock. They are more akin to “white trash.”

    Love,
    Someone who’s lived in both places

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bogan
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jock_%28athlete%29

    P.S.
    Love the song, love you loving Neil and I’ll see you soon. ♥

    • sam

      See, everyone says that, but the more I think about it the more I dig the jock comparison. You know, they’re the bigoted wankers devoting most of their time to playing football. At least, that’s how it was in high school, and not having lived in America I’m not sure what becomes of a jock once they graduate (or don’t, as is the case with many bogans).

    • SMW

      I was going to tell her this – BUT within the bogan family.. there are redneck/trailer trash/jock sub catergories.

  • Bec Tilley

    Map of Tasmania is a fucking awesome song. I only discovered that you exist about a week after your gig in Hobart, so I’m pretty pumped to see you at MONA FOMA! Also, I have decided that my funk band are going to cover Map of Tasmania. I don’t care what the boys think of it, we’re doing it, so there. :P

  • Caseynb

    Hi Amanda,
    I’m casey, and I’m a thirteen-year-old from Melbourne (Australia).
    I met you on the steps of parliament house earlier this year (or was it last year?) after the slam rally, and I remember you talking about your show that night, and asking if anyone was going. heaps of people where going and my dad and Sarah (his fionce) where also going. I missed out on going as i am only thirteen and was pretty dissapointed, but I saw you again later that day and asked if you where doing any under eighteen’s ninja gigs.
    You said no, but you promised that the next time you came to melbourne you would. I am super excited that you are coming to Australia again, but i still can’t go to the Melbourne show because i am to young.
    Let me know if there is any way that I could see you play at an under eighteen’s show in Melbourne. Even if you wanted to come down and do a ninja Gig at my dad’s bar. anything!
    Thanks for making such fantastic music! I would love to see you live!
    From Casey.

    P.S
    My Dad’s Fionce is good friends with Zea Barker, who I think is your friend…. I don’t know why I wrote that!

    P.P.S
    Thank-you so much even though you haven’t (yet, hopefully) in Melbourne decided on many shows for doing more under 18’s gigs. It makes me heppy!

  • InfamousKelso

    Oh man, I’m going to get so much shit from the fans for this…

    You know Amanda, I’m not going to lie, I love you and the music that emanates from your fucking fingers, but I really do not enjoy the new single. Don’t get me wrong, you’re one of my top favorite people of all time, but it kind of sounded too poppy for me. Still love you, your work and will continue to buy mountains of stuff from you. Just not this single.
    BUT! I passed it on to some of my sugar pop loving friends and they loved the everlasting fuck out of it.
    Hopefully I’ve redeemed myself. Keep on making music, regardless if people dig it or not.
    -K

  • http://twitter.com/neverwear cat mihos

    that New York signing day was truly one of the longest most harrowing days in my life, I tried to persuade Neil to cancel his signing, and he insisted, no, it will be the best thing for all if he did proceed and when Beth came through with the holy trinity of pronunciation sent by Miss Palmer, my boss did beam with the only joy of his own long difficult day. For this, I have always been so grateful to Amanda and to Beth. Beautifully executed, ladies.

    • http://amandapalmer.net/ Amanda Palmer

      i fucking love you.

  • rachel s

    i had this long-ass paragraph all typed out about a ridiculous multitude of things, but then i realized i could condense it down to the following:

    i could read your words for hours. don’t ever stop writing.

    much love, beautiful.

  • Peter B.

    Amanda…long time reader, first time writer here… please don’t ever stop writing! Between you and Neil, I could spend forever reading anything you two write. Any plans on coming to Canada in the near future?

    • Peter B.

      And for the record, Map of Tasmania is killer!

  • http://somedaywewillsleep.com Veronica

    I loved the song, but more than that, I loved the pictures of Tasmania vs Tanzania. I spend an amazing amount of time telling people that I don’t live in Africa and I have issues with possums and wallabies, not hippos and elephants.

    I’m glad you could make Neil smile. Grief is a hard slog.

  • oneiricackle

    You say
    Tom- ate- oh

    I say
    Tom- art- oh

    AFP likes the “art” of the British tomato. It’s got to be that…

  • Ryan_Anas

    reading this has been like sitting by a fireplace during a snowstorm. Here’s to never forgetting our stories <3

  • Penelope

    Actually, you wouldn’t say it in full: it’s your ‘map of Tassie’.

    I’m so relieved you’re playing at the Forum in Melbourne. I’ll be hugely pregnant so I’ll have to spend the gig sitting down!

  • http://twitter.com/NicoleBorheier NicoleBorheier

    Your present gave him strength and courage – you can see that all over his face. It was a wonderful and funny thing to do and it was exactly what was needed.

    I love it that you two are together. All my very very best wishes for you!

  • http://twitter.com/ChesterJSellars Chester Sellars

    Okay, so, I’ve got to say that this was way unexpected. I feel like I’ve been left out of the loop on this Australia record thing, but I’m glad to see more AFP songs. I do like the acoustic version better, but that’s not to say I don’t love the dance/pop one. It’s a helluva lot different than what I’m used to, but hey– I do enjoy.
    The three gifts made me a little wet-eyed. You guys have a beautiful thing.

  • Comrade Stokesi

    Does this mean a future Peaches/Dizzee Rascal/Young Punx/AFP rave night at some point? :D

    Great remix and that was wonderful what you did for Neil.

  • insignifikunt

    Argh, this blog made me cry…

    I was there that night you played Map Of Tasmania for the first time and other than the fuckers who wouldn’t shut up in the back of the room I had a fucking AWESOME night. I had NO IDEA that Neil had lost his father then. That makes me feel so fucking guilty.

    We thought you were sick which was why you weren’t in the best of moods, because you tweeted that morning about throwing up … at that point we freaked a bit that you’d cancel but we had no idea that had happened then!

    This blog made me cry because even though Neil said that he didn’t want you to cancel, and he didn’t cancel his own commitments, I wish it wasn’t even something either of you had to question… yes you both depend on an audience to have a sustainable career, but there is definitely a time when your audience doesn’t matter!!! i wish there wasn’t that pressure for you both…

    I know if you’d cancelled we would have been disappointed. Some of us would have felt it more than others as we’d flown from other states in Australia, but under the circumstances we definitely would have understood… We wouldn’t have been disappointed IN YOU, it would have been about the situation – and even then we would have been more sympathetic than disappointed.

    Anyway it’s in the past now and it was a situation that did lead to joy as you wrote a fucking brilliant song, and both you and Neil discovered how strongly you actually felt for each other… still that line…

    “… and he said “i’d rather you go play tasmania than come here. it’ll make more people happy.”…”

    It knocked the breath right out of me and bought tears to my eyes.

  • Amy

    The first part made me cry, the second part made me laugh. Love You Amanda!

  • http://twitter.com/laurainnis Laura Innis

    I love you, I love your blogs which are made up of stories, I love the new single and I mostly love the way you talk about loving Neil and Neil loving you. It’s just beautiful and reminds me that some people do just have enormous hearts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1528086509 Donna Tschetter

    Perfect!

    What a wonderful gift trilogy and memory for you both.

  • http://twitter.com/sandslippers Jen

    this is fucking brilliant and beautiful and i thank you for all you do.

  • Marcos Faria

    You guys are always finding a way to make me cry.

    ‘he said “i’d rather you go play tasmania than come here. it’ll make more people happy.”

    and i thought, “if we measured our lives that way where we would be?”’

    I’m going to remember this whenever I have a tough choice to make.
    Thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/becaolivetree Beca Oliveira

    HOLY SHIT Amanda, the phat beatz are all manner of amazing (really enjoying the nod to Sir Mix-a-lot, too, not gonna lie).

    DOUBLE FUCKING RAINBOW ALL THE WAY, is my point.

  • loramusica

    the song is a BOMB !!!

  • http://twitter.com/chocl8girl Tricia Smith

    *sigh* Great. You managed to get me to cry. I don’t ever cry for anything or anyone. I don’t ever allow people to make me want to believe in love and happiness.

    Now I’m thinking maybe I do want to.

    You really ARE fucking amazing.

    I love you.

  • MetteMae

    I reserve my right to not have a hooha like an 8 yearold!

  • Friends_of_rooster_gary

    This is great!
    made me laugh and cry, you guys are so sweet together!

  • http://mataduvor.blogg.se Angelica

    just pure love. To you, and neil. <3

  • Zoey

    I was wondering why reading this made me cry and finally it hit me. It was the feeling of “I want to be there for the person I love when I know they’re having a difficult time but I fucking can’t and I hate it so much and it hurts so fucking much and I feel so guilty for not being able to be there when I feel like I should” I got from this. The person I love literally lives on the other side of the planet and whenever I hear she’s having a bad day I just wish I could hold her and tell her it’ll be ok but I can’t and knowing that there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it just makes it all more devastating.

    Also this just makes my chest ache because it shows how much you both actually do care about your fans. Even in a situation like this Neil is signing and you’re performing and you’re both just not letting people down when a lot of people fucking would’ve. And that just makes me respect and love you both even more.

    From the bottom of my heart: thank you. For everything. I love you.

  • http://alittlepracticality.blogspot.com/ AmyK

    I can really appreciate this song, let me tell you.

    Almost eight years ago I was pregnant with my first child. I chose a midwifery practice for my checkups since I was living far from my mother (I was in Maine, she was in PA) and I wanted to be surrounded with sympathetic women. I was actually in my 8th month when, during one of my exams, one of the midwives casually said “You know it’s really refreshing to see a woman who goes natural.”

    I’m afraid the silence was rather awkward and drawn out while I processed that. Lying on my back. With her head…well…you know.

    “Um. Do you see a lot of landscaping then? Am I that unusual?”

    “Landscaping, complete hair removal, piercings…I think I’ve seen it all.”

    I’ve thought a lot about her comment. I mean, as I said, it was almost eight years ago and I still think about it. I don’t live in a vacuum, I do read magazines and of course I’m aware of the trend to trim one’s “Map of Tasmania” down to practically nothing, or be as smooth as a little girl. While I’m aware that women do this, it never occurred to me that I could or should do it for myself. I haven’t worn a bikini since I was four, and I have no plans to do so ever again. None of my partners has ever complained about my nether hairstyle. I have seen guy’s reactions to porn from the 1970’s and it makes me laugh because some of them have never seen a woman in person with maps quite like theirs.

    I still think about what the midwife said to me, and wonder if it was the honest truth or a politely roundabout way of indicating that I should do some pruning. For quite a while I’ve been slightly disgruntled with the amount of upkeep it takes to be considered “attractive”. Despite dieting and exercising I’ll never be close to the slim ideal. I’ve made my peace with that. I shave the underarms and the legs, I tweeze and wax areas of my face…yet I spend time and money maintaining long hair on my head where it’s acceptable.

    Perhaps having this one place, this one private area that’s off limits to public scrutiny and judgment is where I’m taking my stand. This, I say, is one area where I refuse to submit to social pressure and will keep as wild and untamed as the land of Tasmania itself.

  • http://twitter.com/caduceus_MD Tete Tonwe

    This made me gangster cry. Single tear. It’s all quite beautiful and moving and amazing. It takes a lot of strength (and wisdom) to know when you can’t just drop everything to be there for someone, even though that’s exactly what you want to do. I’m also moved by the dedication to your fans. (Both you and Neil).

    I also really love your sparkly crotch-plate. =]

  • http://twitter.com/RiotPoofFairy Melanie

    Thank you for always being so open. allowing us into your creative wave length

  • http://twitter.com/RiotPoofFairy Melanie

    U have to play this New Year’s eve in San Fran…we all need to shake our Maps of Tasmania. PLEASE!

  • judy

    sobbing and laughing. thanks.

  • moogie

    If you are still ‘down under’ and have map of tasmania you mya like to check out Budgie Smugglers.

  • Sarah

    I love songs about bushes. =D

    Slightly off topic, but a friend of a friend did a really beautiful cover of the bed song…
    I believe her name is Kate Sloan.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsK6jVv0Vko&feature=related

  • abrokengirl

    That show was epic. You were raw and beautiful and awesome. My favourite part may have been the completely justifiable “fuck you” screamed at half the room during the most powerful intro to Half Jack I’ve ever heard.

    We didn’t know the situation then, but now it makes sense, the way you kind of fell into the photo (hug?) line afterwards. I asked you if you knew how much your music healed, and couldn’t get another word out because I was engulfed. I’m sorry you were hurting.

    Thank you for putting this out there. We can’t wait to welcome you back down under.

  • marc

    I looooove the song and the artwork. I think it’s awesome you took the risk and released a friggin’ pop song! (I guess some people argue everything is pop but that conversation is for another time) anyways, this fucking owns!

  • Musictwig

    This blog makes me tear up every time I read it. Then I get a big grin on my face. Thank you, both you and Neil, for sharing this with us. :) Map of Tasmania made me think of The Doo Wops’ “Crazy Bush” – it made me howl the first time I saw it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iD0bovrZyE

    • http://amandapalmer.net/ Amanda Palmer

      OMG it’s amazing. just tweeted it

  • krisjay

    For what it is worth, it took alot for you not to go hold them hands, you Amanda have become something else, you are no longer just musician, no longer just speaking artist, no longer any One thing, you have trancended. You are now at the crusp of what some may call superstardom. Just remember one thing before you hit that mansion on the hill, Live To Tell by MADONNA. Is it that we need you or do you need us, which is it, I can’t seem to figure it out. What is it about a girl from Mass, that makes us all mental, I’ve known plenty of girls from Mass. None of them made me mental(a few made me crazy). I thought to myself the other night maybe it is a mutual understanding, you will give us what you have to give us on any certain night, and we will do the same for you. Then I thought no it can’t be that simple, there has to be more, there has to be a reason that this one girl from Mass. has this hold of us. Then I listened to WKAP for the third time that day, and it struck me, it is the honesty, oh sure I’m not dumb enough to beleive you give it all away, but you give enough to let us in. That is all we want as fans really is a little bit in, not many let us in. And certainly no one lets us in like you. I usually cry when I listen to WKAP, it is not a sad cry it is a healthy cry, it is a cry I can’t get from anything else, it is a cry of knowing it can’t last forever. So now what happens, you go off and make Phat beats, and alot of us get left behind crying for someone who has passsed us by, it was inevitable really, you can’t keep letting us in the door when sooner than later there is going to be 5 bodyguards at that door saying , ummmm you are not allowed in this door. We love you, or is it we love the idea of you. Either way it was good while it lasted, and besides that, you better give us all that moment at the Grammy’s where we can all sit back and say yup, I knew her back when…I am nothing but a fan, I am nothing but a believer, a believer in what I have not really an idea, but a believer. Soon you will be gone, and I, WE, will be left with a hole that can’t be filled. Was your Robert Smith hole ever filled. So I leave you with this, girl from Mass. There was once magic in the air, for a short time there was a belief in something bigger than ourselves, that something, was you Amanda!! Don’t you get it, after all the hugs and the kisses and the thank you’s, and the applause. It is you, and without you, we will be sad, not because you moved to the mansion on the hill, not because you are off to make Phat Beats, it will be because sooner or later you will forget that magic in the air. Amanda you cannot be replaced, you are the very fabric most of us true diehard fans breathe every day, is that to much to ask out of anyone, who knows, you told us it was all possible, so when the time comes, and you are in the back of that Limo, don’t think of us that night, but whenyou are alone one day try to remeber that air you created, take it in deep, because once it is gone it is gone. So after all this should you have gone to him and held his hand and let him feel whatever it is he was going to feel, who knows, maybe, maybe not. The question is who is going to hold our hands? So please that night you are on that Grammy stage (it will happen , I know these things), do two things, enjoy the moment, and then let that girl from Mass enjoy it maybe even a little bit more. We love you, we care for you, we feel for you, but we can’t stop time, and we can’t stop progress, Did you ever once ask Brian if it was different playing with you on this past Dolls tour, were you different in some way. I don’t know the answer to that, only you do. Nope only you know that, when you have the chance, put on The Cure LP Disintegration, it is what is happening isn’t it, a Disintegration, as the line says”…I never said I would stay till the end…” So this is my early goodbye to you, I’m sure there will be shows, signings, but that air, who knows, I don’t think the air will be the same, so I say goodbye to a great friend in many times of need, through the birth of my son, through my marrige, I say goodbye now, because if it was even later into it, I just wouldn’t have the heart for it, I just don’t think it would be the same person who would be wondering if she should have went to hold those hands. Goodbye hun, I’m going to go listen to the latest Peaches LP. “Tick Tick Boom!”

    • carlo

      I like that you were able to articulate your feelings towards amanda so well but I think you’re taking this song too harshly. It’s one song, it’s humorous, it’s fun. It’s alright that you don’t like it but I don’t see how it marks the degradation of Amanda’s relationship with her fans. Hell, I was moved by this very blog itself as she revealed an intimate moment between herself and Neil and her not-so-glamourous thoughts during last years tour.

      I can’t say “just wait for the rest of the album!!” as it seems like the whole thing might be lighthearted as a whole. But… oh fuck it wait for the rest of the album!! I love this bitch and I can tell you do too so I say have faith for the time being. You can write your dramatic parting once the album comes out and it’s ALL about various metaphors for her genitals tuned to lady gaga samples. Knowing her she’ll probably figure out someway to express her deepest emotions and art through songs about her vag. :) Kinda ripping off the vagina monologues but whatever! >.<

      If she becomes superstar famous then so be it. AFP isn't just some talented artist, she's also the kindest, most humble person I know (I don't actually know her I mean… you get what I mean! You explained it yourself!) I can't really see her as suddenly thoughtless and self-absorbed once major acclaim hits her. Sure she won't be able to have such a close physical relationship (meet n greet) but her songs can still share and make sense of those inner feelings we can all relate to so well. I don't quite understand this threat that "once it's gone it's gone". Phat Beatz do not do dis.

      • krisjay

        All good points, I think what you took as a goodbye from me was taken a little wrong. My goodbye was a heartfelt goodbye to the one on one meet and greets, the chance encounters at a coffee shop, those sorts of things, I think I may have to wrote something to explain my self better, and you are right, not a better human being on this earth, I have met her 5 or 6 times and each time she was more than I could have hoped for, a truly amazing woman, and truly amazing person. I will always love Amanda, but I also see the signs, but maybe just this once, Amanda, knowing her the little I do, will make this all work in some sort of new way no one has ever seen before. Knowing her that is a strong possibility. Thank you for your thoughtful response, has given me some things to think about.

      • infamousKelso

        Just because she made one song that you don’t enjoy Doesn’t mean the entire world is going to collapse. I didn’t particularly love the song either, but I listened to samples for the rest of the album and I must say it’s pretty fucking good. Don’t just get hung up on one song, focus on what she is-an artist- we can’t please the masses all the time.

  • http://twitter.com/dweekerd87 Emily Stewart

    Amanda, you are my hero :)

  • Ruth B

    I nearly cried at that picture of Neil with the banana, tomato and schedule. What a sad story and an adorable present.

    Also, Peaches spat minty flavoured fake blood on me once and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I hope she does do something for this song, that would blow my mind. I got my download and I hope plenty more people do, too :) Thanks AFP!

  • http://twitter.com/wtvlguy wayne quirion

    I feel I have to explain myself a little better, because I have gotten some responses to what I wrote that are way off the mark. First of all when did I say I didn’t like the song? Better make this clear, I LOVE THE NEW SONG!! My writing wasn’t about the song, it was about losing AMANDA, don’t you see it in front of your faces. At one point Amanda and The Dolls were ours, our little bunch of misfits and ragtag drifters and freaks. Soon whether you all can accept this or not, AMANDA is not going to be just our’s any longer, it happens to all great artist of which Amanda is certainly one, they grow, they move on, it is not because they don’t love us any more, it is because they have to move on and become whatever it is they are to become. For Amanda, I think it is superstardom, I don’t see just music, I see movies, wrting, I see a major star period. It happens, no one knows more than Amanda that sometimes you can’t keep “them” all to yourselves, it is impossible. Be happy with what we had while we had it, it is more than most fan nations get ever, we got her soul, damn wasn’t that enough for you all. So no, my response wasn’t about the new song, which is great and I’ll be making a donation for it as soon as possible, it was about the fact that it is time to accept the fact that Amanda will be moving on, whether she likes it or not. This song is going to be pumping in every club from Maine to Berlin, which means , guess what, our little secret is going to be let loose on an unsuspecting world, I for one can’t wait, It is going to be great to see her in the spotlight. I just wish it was th 80’s for one day, and have Kurt Loder doing an interview with Amanda, that would be priceless, lol. Anyways, just to clarify, my response had nothing to do with the song, the song is Great!!! It is just time everyone of the “community” braced themselves for what’s coming, that’s all I was saying, and to you AMANDA…MAKE IT EPIC!!!!

  • http://twitter.com/wtvlguy wayne quirion

    I feel I have to explain myself a little better, because I have gooten some responses to what I wrot that are way off the mark. First of all when did I say I didn’t like the song. Better make this clear, I LOVE THE NEW SONG!! My writing wasn’t about the somg, it was about losing AMANDA, don’t you see it in front of your faces. At one point Amanda and The Dolls were ours, our little bunch of misfits and ragtag drifters and freaks. Soon whether you all can accept this or not, AMANDA is not going to be just our’s any longer, it happens to all great artist of which Amanda is certainly one, they grow, they move on, it is not because they don’t love us any more, it is because they have to move on and become whatever it is they are to become. For Amanda, I think it is superstardom, I don’t see just music, I see movies, wrting, I see a major star period. It happens, no one knows more than Amanda that sometimes you can’t keep “them” all to yourselves, it is impossible. Be happy with what we had while we had it, it is more than most fan antions get ever, we got her soul, damn wasn’t that enough for you all. So no my response wasn’t about the new song, which is great and I’ll be making a donation for it as soon as possible, it was about the fact that it is time to accept the fact that Amanda will be moving on, whether she likes it or not. This song is going to be pumping in every club from Maine to Berlin, which means , guess what our little se

  • http://twitter.com/wtvlguy wayne quirion

    Sorry, it got there twice, my bad.

  • kylecassidy

    this is a wonderful thing. i love you both.

  • kylecassidy

    this is a wonderful thing. i love you both.

  • http://twitter.com/whiskeymammoth Piper Shepherd

    I love this. Also, Map Of Tasmania makes my pubes want to jump up right off my vag and dance. They greatly appreciate this. Oh, the phat beatz are hawt shit too. I fucking dig it, man. Another thing: it’s always thought provoking to think about reactions and such that people have resulting from a death. I think that this tale is both sad and beautiful. I fucking love you, long live you and Neil and BUSHWHACKING KILLS!

  • http://twitter.com/musictwig Rae

    Amanda + Neil = LOVE Thank you for sharing so much of it with us. (((hugs))) This post made me cry AND grin like an idiot.

    Also, Map of Tasmania makes me think of this clip from The Doo Wops from a few years ago called Crazy Bush. :P

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iD0bovrZyE (clip not safe for work or little children!!)

  • Squeaky

    You two are so, so lucky to have found each other. through easy times and hard times, through good times and bad, i wish you eternal bliss and comfort in each other.

    In other news, just been to listen to the song (feat. The Young Punx). LMAO. Fucking, fucking *brilliant*!!! And still in the best tradition of you being so very you. Can’t wait for the record… :oD

  • http://twitter.com/vociferous_girl Anastasia

    When I bought map of tasmania, I thought, I’ll just pay for it when I do the whole album, couldn’t do it, I had to pay for it when I bought it…and yes, it is totally worth the five dollars. Probably more, but that’s all I’ve got.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimmy-Thorsell/100000660985026 Jimmy Thorsell

    best song…. ever!

  • TJ

    the best part of this video by far is the reaction from the crowd. I think the connection to Neil’s father passing is perhaps how right he was about how happy you made these people. Utilitarian logic is fascinating and frightening all at once. I personally can never actually tell how I really feel about it. In my own head, like Neil’s I suppose it makes allot of sense, and then you think about the implications of actually trying to live life that way…

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