steubenville. (trigger warning)

while we’re on the topic….i just read about this in the new york times.

online version:

summary: in steubenville, ohio, a very drunk girl was allegedly raped by members of the local football team. they allegedly fingered her, urinated on her, left her topless in the street after she vomited, and dragged her unconscious body around from party to party….while bystanders in their wake allegedly twittered & face-booked pictures and videos of what was going on.

from the sounds of it, nobody tried to help her, nobody called the cops. from the sounds of it, almost no witnesses have cooperated in the investigations.

i don’t have any words for this one.

i made a drawing instead.

what in the name of all that’s holy is happening out there?
is it just because i’m off tour and paying attention to the news again?

i’m going to bed. wake me up when things get sane.


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  • puertoricoindie


  • M.

    If you wait for things to be sane then you will never awake. Neil will have to put you in a glass box underneath the dining table.

  • http://twitter.com/Provanity Profanity Jane ♫

    That poor girl. It looks like we’re in the throws of a serious lack of humanity. We should all try twice as hard to make up for the ones failing.

  • Danny

    The world (United States, in particular) is a sick place nowadays, Amanda. And I’m the one that feels like a freak and black sheep because I can’t help but think “If I had been there and seen those guys doing that…”

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1101274498 Chad Curry

      Look at India…it’s not just the U.S. in particular.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1101274498 Chad Curry

    I have been in a disgusted stupor since I caught this on the news. The cult of masculinity is repugnant. “Proving” you are a man by destroying anything, especially another human is something I don’t, and hope to never, get. That no one stopped this is even more disgusting. Raising “human beings”, whether male or female that will participate in this, whether actively or passively makes me furious and sick for humanity.

  • GoodGravey

    As i read more and more about this travesty, i just felt utterly sick.

    This, and many other reported cases of rape and abuse, has me thinking more and more about language.

    The usual language is as you’ve used here. “…she was allegedly raped by…” This implies the rape may not have happened. It seems more accurate to say “…she was raped allegedly by…”

    The subtle change in language makes it clear that she was in fact raped, just that the details of the offenders has yet yo be proven. What happened to her doesn’t need to be proved. Only who did it.

    Strikes me as one small way of pushing back against the culture of abuse and victim-blaming.

    What do you think?

    • http://twitter.com/SignoraPaesior Maria-Jane Brodie

      Agreed, but do have to say that “she was allegedly raped by” is still a huge step up from “where they proceeded to have sex with the alleged victim”, which is how a lot of the newsy people are wording it =|

    • http://www.facebook.com/cora.schweiger Cora Schweiger

      A very good distintion!

    • http://twitter.com/cabridges C. A. Bridges

      But a journalist can’t say that, for the same reason they can’t say someone murdered someone even if the killer was seen doing it. That’s a legal judgment, to be decided by a court, and the media cannot rule someone guilty in a headline.

      No matter how much the journalist in question wants to see the bastards put away.

      • Vince Collins

        Fuck a legal judgment, I don’t need to wait for a lawyer to allow me to drop the word “alleged”

        • http://twitter.com/cabridges C. A. Bridges

          You don’t need to, no. An ethical journalist does, and the question here was on media coverage.

          • Vince Collins

            Everyone who writes a blog is a journalist.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Jacobsen/1533903364 Christian Jacobsen

        I’m not sure you are right here, C.A. She was, in fact, raped. So the journalist can make that distinction. They cannot point a finger at who committed the crime because they have not been tried yet. But they can state the fact that the girl was raped. So GoodGravey has made a good point, I think.

    • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.paes.7 Stéphanie Paes

      Yes, I was talking about it to my sis. Media usually tries to turn the rapists/killers less guilty or innocent and, even worse, to put the blame on the woman. I have a list of headlines where you can see it very clearly, but, infortunately, thei are all in portuguese…

      • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.paes.7 Stéphanie Paes

        unfortunatelly. :)

      • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.paes.7 Stéphanie Paes

        they* Jesus! lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=23920813 Faith Espindola

    the bystanders didn’t just not report it, they live fucking tweeted it.

    • http://twitter.com/prinniedidit Prinnie

      and then people pretended that the social media evidence wasn’t important. LE said that it was used for information but not as a basis for their case. The fact that not one person stepped forward is so upsetting. The whole case is sickening, and thank you all for taking an interest and spreading the word.

  • http://twitter.com/TheReddestRose So Red the Rose

    Over the last few years & the resurgence of the most vile forms of misogyny I have come to believe that all girls should be trained in self-defense from the age of 3. Personally I always carry a knife when I go out. If we start fighting back maybe they’ll back the fuck off.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Melanie-Heim/735373387 Melanie Heim

      this girl was drunk or drugged, she had no way to fight back.

      • http://twitter.com/TheReddestRose So Red the Rose

        Understood. But as a general rule, I think it’s wise we are prepared to fight back. My opinion only of course. We all must live as we see fit.

    • geekzyllah

      Absolutely. I want to say that we have to teach the boys that they don’t have the right to rape; clearly, though, that’s not happening. In the meantime, I’d like to arm girls with the idea that they are not there to be raped, and with the physical prowess to fight back.

    • Mendak

      there will always be rape, killing and fighting. more weapons or aggression wont help. the problem are the people standing around doing nothing or even filming it.

      • http://twitter.com/TheReddestRose So Red the Rose

        Normally I would agree with you. But as a rape survivor I can say with absolute conviction there are times nothing else will do – in the face of naked violence & aggression words are not enough. Someone once said you have a divine animal right to protect yourself. That is the truth as I know it. I try to live in such a way that I do not attract violence or provoke it in any way. I strive to be loving & peaceful. But god help you if you do violence in my presence. It’s a balance I continue to work on.

  • http://twitter.com/Sangrebloom Sangrebloom

    I found out about this the day before and it broke my faith in humanity a bit more. the article I read led me to believe they did far more than just molest her, and that she was drugged, not drunk, like the latter make it any of it her fault. Her whole life is changed now and these beastly people went out of their way to hide this and bury it.

  • http://twitter.com/xTheOtherGirl ♪ Ashley W. ♫

    All it takes is one person to go up to the girl and say “Are you okay?” in order to stop this whole thing from happening. I just can’t stand the fact that people actually believe that “she was leading people on” and therefore deserved it. I cannot fucking stand it. There’s a petition for those involved to be punished in a higher degree if anyone would like to sign it: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-all-involved-rape-steubenville-scandal-be-pushed-out-juvenile-court-so-there-can-be-real/MJ4rrCXM

  • http://dave-parnell.tumblr.com/ David Parnell

    I reflect on the words of a great American philosopher at times like these. “When you are born you are given a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in the US you’re given front row seats.”

  • Julie

    Stuff like this makes me physically sick. Not just the deed, though it is beyond awful, but the reactions of the witnesses. The amount of apathy around this case is just devastating.

  • http://www.facebook.com/DocForrester James Heller

    At least you’re trying to do something by getting people talking about this kind of stuff. This kind of thing, I don’t think we’re ever going to be completely rid of it, but the fact that this kind of behavior still pops up as often as it does is something our society needs to grow out of.

  • http://www.facebook.com/alicemeichi Alice Meichi Li

    Yeah.. just wanted to add that she wasn’t drunk, she was drugged with a date-rape drug. Makes it much worse, sadly. :(

    • http://twitter.com/littleweloosmom Mary Wolfson

      I was about to add this. According to the Twitter account of the man who was the victim’s angry ex-boyfriend (and part of the self-dubbed ‘Rape Crew’) it was planned well in advance as a revenge tactic. He Tweeted “nobody breaks up with Cody Saltsman, Ill ruin that bitch”- a month before he and the rest of the “Rape Crew” drugged and raped this victim. I am sure there have been more (and photos indicate at least one from last year). I grew up in a small town, football-worshiping place in Ohio much like Steubenville and I can attest to the claims being made about football players being given exams separately, and overall being protected like this. It is disgusting.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1290930790 Brian Miller

    Anonymous outted most of this story or it would (still) be covered up: http://localleaks.blogs.ru/

  • KatC

    We have to stand strong and true in the face of evil. This is evil. It comes out of a deep brokenness that I don’t know if we’ll ever understand, but the only thing I can think of to do is face it without hesitation or apology. We can’t let these things happen in secret, in the dark, in isolation. Your blog hosted stories this weekend of people suffering from this very thing, it is a darkness we can only fight with the glaring light of honesty and love. The fiercely true kind that defends those who can’t defend themselves in that moment. Any of us could need that at some point in our lives. If hate lives where the love lives, Amanda – the other has to be true as well – the love has to go live where the hate lives. We have to carry that light into the darkness. We can be comrades of light and strength in the face of this darkness. We have to be.

  • Pucci

    Hi Amanda, I love your work. I’ve listened to you for many years and I think you’re an amazing woman.

    Having said that, I’d like to suggest that you consider something, and that is, language other than ‘allegedly.”

    Semantics issue perhaps, but something I’m finding more and more disturbing (though this has been going on for years) is that when ppl talk about rape, the term ‘allegedly” is thrown around. When it’s a situation of robbery, assault or any other crime, we tend to read language that reflects that we believe the crime has occurred (eg, the man was walking down Lewis street at approximately 11pm when 2 men attacked him and stole his wallet) rather than ‘a woman was allegedly raped’ which IMO only adds to the (really fucking harmful) stereotype that women lie about rape.

    It’s just a bug bear of mine, and a bug bear I thought I’d share with you :)

  • Kat

    Reading through this, I feel sick to my stomach and want to cry.

    I’ve been that girl. I’ve been drunk and blacked out, laying in what I thought was the sanctuary of a friend’s bedroom, only to be stumbled upon by someone who shouldn’t have been there. This was before social media, for better or worse, but the level of helplessness and hopelessness and terror and depression and feeling worthless… I know how she feels.

    The stupidity of those kids, the blindness of the town to the truth of what their kids are really up to, the rampant looking-the-other-way… it makes me want to scream. People say things are getting worse, but I think it’s as bad as it’s ever been – we just have better access to news from around the world, people are updating their lives in real time on twitter or facebook, and we’re drawn a lot closer as a society. We see things we may not have seen ten or twenty years ago, simply because of the availability.

    I really do feel for the girl, and hope she has a solid support group and can find a good therapist. The fact that she and her family are being further victimized just kills me.

    • ana

      I know what you mean, I asked my boss if he had heard about the rape in Ohio and he non-nonchalantly said…this is not new, it always happens when a girl passes out. He went on to tell me about a party he was at as a teenager, he’s now 54~55, he said that a girl got really drunk sped off in her car but had a minor crash as she left the drive way. The boys from the party, instead of helping her, went over to reach inside her clothes and grope her. My boss didn’t say he was involved in the behavior, but…The difference is that nowadays teens record their sins and announce them to the world. Sick, but look at happened at Penn State, even adults do it, what are we modeling for kids???

      • Kat

        Great point – with fewer good role models providing guidance for the younger generations, it shouldn’t be a surprise that these mindsets are still prevailing in some circles. With everyone taking pictures of everything they do and sharing them with everyone, it also shouldn’t be a surprise that some people are stupid enough to take – and share, and keep – criminally damning pictures and video.

        I’m in my 30s, so wasn’t weaned on smartphones and the internet like a lot of kids are these days, but it seems like it seems to be a natural extension of themselves to record everything they do for posterity. They haven’t been taught, or just don’t understand privacy, accountability, responsibility… and it’s sad. They don’t think about repercussions or anything beyond the moment. I suppose it’s almost a fact of life these days, but I really wish it weren’t.

    • Trying to change the world

      You sound as though you have worked your way through much of the darkness of your terrible experience. Good for you!

      • Kat

        Thanks – it took a lot of therapy sessions and stupid mistakes on my part to become a (semi-)functional adult, and it helps that it’s fifteen years in the past. It still feels like yesterday in some ways, but I’ve found ways of bringing distance and closure, which is about all anyone can do with those situations. The hatred and depression and lust for vengeance isn’t worth losing sight of the bigger picture of life. But I have to say, reading stories like this makes me wish vengeance on a widespread scale were possible – and barring that, mass education and lightbulb moments for the idiots in question.

  • http://twitter.com/astarynight Crystal Michelle

    You don’t even have to read the news. Bad things are happening everywhere.

  • Pucci

    and.. thank you for talking about rape. We need more strong women like you who have fantastic things to say and sing, to get out there and keeping doing just that :)

  • http://twitter.com/astarynight Crystal Michelle

    You can’t even have try to make decent friends and have a reasonably, normal family anymore, because the chance is, you might wind up like this girl, in a ditch somewhere, raped, urinated on and left for dead.

  • http://twitter.com/astarynight Crystal Michelle

    Dorthy, I’m afraid we’re not in Kansas anymore.

  • http://twitter.com/astarynight Crystal Michelle

    I’m originally from Lorain, Ohio. I’ve never even heard of Steubenville, but I remember many countless parties in high school where plenty of the guys from my Honors program at Southview High School (even some who were at the top of our graduating class) in Lorain were idiots and did things that weren’t like themselves. From papering houses, to breaking an entering, to getting into fist fights over nothing yet everything, and even worse than that. So I can definintely see something like this happening.

  • http://gdcarr.com/ GD Carr

    The only thing I know that I can do, when heart-stopped by events like this, is to keep raising my son to not be that bystander and to respect, protect, and cherish life; his life, a girl’s life, the life of the homeless, the life of a dog, the life of a man, the life of a woman. When I say life, I mean it all. The right to be is part of life. The right to grow is part of life. The right to be who you are is part of life. The right to make your decisions is part of life.

    When faced with horror and horrible questions, when you know the answer will never suffice even if it exists — I survive mentally the moment by working harder to help make my world better. A small thing here is amplified a million times more, and always with the future of a child.

    These football players were somebody’s child — there raping somebody’s child. The people taking pictures and tweeting the assault are somebody’s child. This is where I start, my link in this chain, the awesome responsibility he has to take care of life and the awesome power he will have to make others do the same.

    I put my will into A Billion Rising, a movement, created by Eve Ensler and will stand with a billion women on Valentine’s day to promote the end of violence, trafficking, degradation, mutilation, and control over women, our bodies, our minds, our “life.”

    One of these players tweeted he had no sympathy for whores.

    Carried and held as she was in the still from the video as a sheep, or pig, who’d been shot in the head about to be slaughtered — I have no words for my reaction.

    I fight the rage and pain to act without the same respect for life that those who stand accused did, and I build it, this small step, this human, my son that I am tasked to guide so he can be the example for others, and shape the world into a better place when my hands are no longer here.

    It is important to show the shock to this, so others will know, if they can’t without a push — how much work we need to do and how much life there is to protect.

  • http://twitter.com/lauraannham Laura

    The rapes in India and now this? Why…HOW can people watch girls being violated and do nothing? And people think that she deserved it because she was sexually active, and didn’t say no? She was unconscious. But no one wants to come forward and testify, as it makes them complicit and they’re worried about the football team attacking them.

    That’s foul.

  • http://twitter.com/ChayleeNBrock Chaylee Nicole Brock

    I can’t stomach this world any longer. I don’t… Want to be a part of this thing called humanity. There’s nothing humane about it anymore. For years, I have seen the ugly side of life – beaten, tortured, and raped since I was a small girl. For the longest time, I felt alone. Now, I know that the non-abused are the minority. Despite everything I have been through, I strived to keep even an ounce of faith in humanity. In the last year or two, that faith has disappeared almost completely. It is almost nonexistent. 

    How can we live like this? How can human beings be so evil? Better yet, how can others remain so complacent? I feel sick when I think of it. Every day, people bullied, shot, raped… and those who survive go on to commit suicide. And no one is doing a thing about it. Where do we start? Even if we do start, will it be enough? 

    I’ve attempted suicide five times because I was unable to deal with the things I was put through for so many years. Has society reached that point as well? Are we committing social suicide? We’re declining at an frighteningly fast rate. 

    I just… I can’t. I won’t even turn the television on or read online news journals anymore. I feel so helpless. And I feel so guilty so even being an inhabitant of this planet.  

    • http://twitter.com/balive2love Meagan Elizabeth

      *love and virtual hugs sent your way!

    • GMTminus7

      Much love and peace for your healing!

    • http://www.facebook.com/paige.horst Paige Horst

      There is good here, and beauty, and pieces of that good and that beauty are in you. The old saying that bad news travels fast while good news crawls is true, especially in this global access world.

      I am going to concentrate on making something beautiful today, and on seeking out beauty around me and online. Don’t feel guilty, the fact you are posting here means that you are part of the light in the universe, and you are helping overcome the dark.

      Be well. We love you.

    • http://www.facebook.com/eve.condon Eve Wartenberg Condon

      Have you tried connecting with any communities for survivors of sexual assault? Websites for V-Day or the Rape Abuse and Incest Network can connect you with support groups in your community. I’ve found it very helpful in managing my trauma. You need to know that you’re not alone and that you don’t have to settle for feeling helpless. You have a right to hope.

    • Trying to change the world


      My heart weeps for you. I’m sending you all the support, light and strength that I can. And good hugs. There are terrible things in this world – and you know that far more than me. But there are also good things happening. You are a light in this world, as Paige said. Your light shines all the more brightly because of the darkness you have endured. I wish I could send you healing and energy and beauty. You have a right to not watch or read the news when you need a break from the darkness. And a right to not feel guilty. You need to heal and sometimes that means stepping back from the world and building yourself a healing cocoon. I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but as a fellow human being, I love you. That and $5 will buy you a Starbucks, but I hope it makes you feel less alone.

  • CandleBox

    Just wanted to point out that it’s a difficult case (as a lot of rape cases are, since it often turns into a matter of he said she said), especially since the victim doesn’t remember anything and there was no material proof on her body. Something bad obvisouly happened to this girl in front of a lot of people, but as long as they’re not talking it’s hard to figure out if she was “just” pushed around and humiliated in public while she was passed out or if they actually raped her. I’m not saying I don’t believe she was, but it’s gotta be a hard case for the local justice (also I believe the “allegedly” has more to do with the presumption of innocence until proven guilty, it’s the law, at least in my country).

    What utterly disgusts me in this case are the reactions of some of the local people, like the coach, who said something along the lines of I’m not gonna let something like this spoil our football season! Since when is football more important than figuring out if a girl was raped? Are we cavemen? And the people who stood around and tweeted about it? It’s beyond me.

    Recently in my country there was a trial for the gang rapes of two girls in the early 2000, and almost all of the men involved were released. And what about that girl in India? And that girl in Maroc who was charged with public indecency after being raped by police officers?

    I don’t know.

  • KirraQ

    This is totally crazy and really sad. My first thought is it’s so important to get the message out to people that in regards to bullying etc standing there and doing nothing is equally bad. I hope this poor girl gets some seriously good help to try and continue her life in a positive way. And what type of people will the perpetrators and bystanders turn into? Kind of scary. Let’s be clear and say it is not okay on any level at all, promote rights for women everywhere. I always think we need to consider the health of our society just as much as the health of the economy. I live in Australia and a similar terrible event in India has been all over our news. It is very sad, sometimes bad things happen to good people.

  • http://twitter.com/JennyWeen Jenny

    It’s cause you are paying attention again. I rage at the news just about every day. No one wants to read this horrible, ugly, insane shit and I feel like if I ignore it I will lose my humanity. But some days I’m kind to myself and allow myself some peace by skipping the news. I’m sorry

  • ladymiseryali

    What disgusts me more is that it’s looking more and more like a pre-meditated strike against this poor girl. She was lured there because her ex was mad that she broke up with him, or so I’ve read. I’m not sure if that was speculation or a fact……

    Either way, it makes me wish I could just go live on another planet. How can people watch this kind of abuse happen to this girl and do nothing, except live-tweet it like it’s some fucking performance?! Would they be doing that if it was their sister? Their girlfriend or their female friend?

    Sanity is something that may never be restored to this planet, but we can try to beat back some of the insanity the best ways we can. Through support of victims, awareness and by demanding that justice be served.

  • Bush

    Pardon my lack of surprise. This absolute travesty is a symptom of our societies startling lack of values and saying what a bad thing it is won’t stop it. We need to reinvent our culture and abandon all the graven images that have become our only obsession. Who is guilty in this horror? Everyone to a degree more or less. However I do believe a new consciousness is dawning ever so slowly and maybe we can overturn all the madness before we tumble into the abyss…. maybe.

  • AnonymousM17

    absolutely disgusting..i can honestly say if something like this happened around me i would slit someones throat for being such a coward to do ths to a poor innocent girl..#JUSTICEFORJANEDOE

  • Bush

    Fer the luva mutt people remember MOST people are good and kind! For every heinous crime there are huge numbers of kindnesses, considerations and accomodations… sometimes men can even be nice :)

  • rainbowglitter

    The world is changing, and for some reason, that seems to make horrible and unbelieveable things happen at the same time wonderful things are happening too. Your last blog caused a lot of us to share experiences about how we were hurt by others, but at the same time, it woke up so much love.

    I don’t understand why this things happen, nor why a single person stood up for her, or at least if they didn’t dare to stand up for her, called for help. Calling the police takes the same or less effort than taking a picture and uploading it to the net.
    I like to believe society is just going trough some sort of puberty at the moment and this is just part of the sruggling. It has to get better, if things like this doesn’t make everyone to wake up….I’m convinced…your fanbase proves it…that for every person that does something like this, and every person that lets it happen, there has to be five that care, and five more that realize things like this shouldn’t happen and start caring.

    it will get better

  • http://twitter.com/balive2love Meagan Elizabeth

    Technology is a two-edged sword. Had it not been for social media, etc., maybe, no one would have ever known.
    Does social media encourage such behavior? Does football encourage brutality? Peer pressure?
    Since I was a teenager, technology has changed very rapidly. I have a teenager, she is 18. I am so thankful that nothing like this has ever happened to us. I have empathy. I have understanding. I feel the pain. I have sympathy for this teenage girl and her family. Teach your children well…
    But, I can never wrap my mind around such tragedies. It is incomprehensible for me.

    Amanda, you should play this on the ukulele. *bumblebee hugs xo

    • ana

      You may not know what your daughter has seen, witnessed first hand, heard of, ignored, gossiped about. I’m a tech savvy snoop, so I unfortunately know what my daughter has done. She once reposted a picture of a naked girl (a girl had sent it to a boy and the boy had not kept it to himself, as is always the case.) and my daughter reposted that picture calling her a S_ut. I was so mad, I went down to our local police station, but they would not do a thing because the age of the girl could not be established, because I didn’t know who she was and neither did my daughter…so they wouldn’t investigate. Cops, unless you hand them all the evidence on a silver platter would rather not take their eyes off the donuts, it seems. I was ready to allow my daughter to get charged with disseminating/distributing child pornography…but nothing happened to her, way to show her consequences…she got computer privileges taken away but what’s that really.

  • http://twitter.com/KlementineBS Klementine Sander

    I think we can all agree that this is an absolutely awful occurrence. It’s incredibly terrible but I won’t go into that because I KNOW that you lovely, sane people realise it.

    What I want to say is that we’re not alone – search the hashtag #OpRollRedRoll on Twitter and you’ll find lots of people who feel the same way.

    Our society needs to change, and we will have to be the ones to do it. But we can. It’s not impossible, just goddamn difficult, but we can do it if only we try. Even just showing support with a tweet or comment on here makes a little difference. Showing up to a rally. Speaking up for others.

    Seeing the response to AFP’s most recent blog post reminds me that there’s lots of us out here who want to help. So let’s do it.

    Speak up.

    I know you guys would never have been the bystanders at something like this – neither would I. So let’s agree to never be bystanders to such atrocities as these, ever. Even if we don’t physically witness it, when we know that people are in doubt, we should be compelled to go and shout the truth from the rooftops – this is wrong. These people need to be stopped.

    We need to let the world know that we are witnessing this, but we’re not gonna just let it happen. We’re gonna stop it.

  • Tash

    I was reading an unrelated article today & the writer referred to a quote from a Russian novelist, Alexandre Kuprin, who wrote an exposé into prostitution in Russia over a century ago, and the quote just seems so fitting here.

    He said “All the horror is in just this — that there is no horror…”. Where is the horror? Why weren’t the people at these parties horrified at what was taking place in front of them & moved to do something? It’s heartbreaking. I just can’t comprehend it

  • GMTminus7

    There is a petition to move this case out of juvenile court and out of Ohio to try and achieve some manner of justice. The petition can be signed here; https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-all-involved-rape-steubenville-scandal-be-pushed-out-juvenile-court-so-there-can-be-real/MJ4rrCXM?utm_source=wh.gov&utm_medium=shorturl&utm_campaign=shorturl

    Parents, please raise your children to be brave. Be an example to those around you. Stand up against what is wrong, and protect those who can’t protect themselves.

    If you read this, please keep posting the link to this petition. Hug your children, know where they are. The world has gone insane.

    • http://www.facebook.com/paige.horst Paige Horst

      What does it say about our culture that my husband and I role played with our teens before they went to parties so they could practice speaking up and stepping in? Our kids did, on a few occasions, have to speak up–nothing horrific, just teens being silly, like stealing street signs or ringing doorbells and running–and our older kid now has taken on the role of designated driver for his friends.

      Humans in a group are often very frightening.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mrcollaborator Erik de Vos

    This kind of news is not uncommon sadly, even worse things happen all the time. I fear you have been out of the loop, news-wise. Luckily the internet never skips a beat and picks up on stuff like this. anonymous is on top of this.

  • Beth

    Is this real life? or a nightmare..

  • newname

    For the folks who are complaining about the use of the word “allegedly”, many news outlets have to use the word “allegedly” until a conviction is made in order to avoid slander. As all of the parts of the story have yet to be confirmed, it is still “alleged”.

    That being said, it is disgusting.

    My first thoughts on hearing this story were: Is the same society that ignores a boy who grows up to be a mass shooter, responsible for celebrating and idolizing the boys behind this act? And, what did we expect, with politicians who STILL don’t think rape is real, and a GOP who blocked the passage of the Violence Against Women Act, because, I don’t know, it INCLUDED more minorities who are likely to experience violence?

    But then I thought, and thinking of the horrible rapes in India, this is not a new thing. Violence against women occurs around the world, every second of every day, whether it is forced circumcision and rape in parts of Africa, shootings for girls who want education in Pakistan, being fired from a job because one is too attractive in the U.S. (look it up). But the difference about now and say, the 1950s, where women where quietly beaten or mentally imprisoned into submission, is that we KNOW ABOUT IT. We have the chance to get outraged about football players in Ohio or gang rapes in India.

    Knowledge is power, and its our time to figure out the best use of that power, what collective actions will show, quite clearly: WE WILL NOT STAND FOR VIOLENCE.

  • lifeandlove

    I don’t understand people
    Apparently we are the same species
    But I don’t understand
    I don’t understand cruelty…of all forms
    I know it exists, but WHY?!! Why do we do this to each other? Is it fun?
    We, as conscious beings, view ourselves above mere animals
    which I guess is true…

    ….for how many animals are consciously cruel?

    • watchmeboogie

      I don’t get it either. Even prank shows like Jackass or Punked bother me a lot, because why is it funny to laugh at upset people? Isn’t laughing and delighting at someone in distress the very definition of evil, of cruelty and non-compassion? I will never see the humor in humiliating someone.

  • watchmeboogie

    Yeah, Amanda, I can’t with this one. Your expression in that last photo says it. This, the woman who died from gang rape in India… the worst of humanity. I just can’t. I need to believe, see, read about people who are better than this. Because this girl will never get justice, the horror can never be undone, and I can’t do one fucking thing about it. The worst of humanity.

    I used to watch the news every morning and evening. I don’t, anymore.

  • Rachel2

    I came across this story after random Googling on the bullying issue yesterday and was left sitting in my kitchen staring out of the window wondering what I can do.

    There’s a burgeoning “Men’s Rights” movement that is little more than a fig leaf for misogynistic bullying and violence. It’s endemic online, and even those men who don’t identify with it directly are influenced by it. The internet is bursting with anti-female hate, and it’s spreading into the real world. I’m very clear about this: the majority of severe online bullying seems to go one way only: male against female. We talk about cyber-bullying: it’s mostly cyber-misogyny. It reached its nadir when Reddit allowed a subreddit called “Beating Women”, and Redditors defended it in the name of free speech.

    Where do we start? Do we fight back directly at trolls, or ignore them? Do we try to establish an online “neutral zone” to talk to and try to figure out some of these men? Do we take the fight to our political representatives? Do we try to aim a message of equality at our young men? Do we do this ourselves or support an existing organisation? I’m kind of itching to DO something. Anyone else?

    • Lyssa

      You have to start with the children, and teach them to be respectful. They need to have respect for themselves, even if they dont have respect for someones decisions. There will never be equality, think of the reaction to this story if the genders were reversed. Unfortunately, it’s all too easy for a man’s life to be ruined simply by a girl who regrets her decisions calling rape. And when those cases are proven false, it makes it that much harder for girls who are actually raped to make a case for themselves. These happenings are not new. Everyone needs to learn respect. Respect, and honesty

      • http://twitter.com/gerful gabriela maraver

        but that’s stupid, though. like, the actual statistics of women or girls making false rape claims is extremely low; and yet, people act as if we are drowning in cases like those. the fact is we’re not, so.

        • Bush

          Which statistics do you choose to believe then? It all comes down to choice. By the way thanks Lyssa… one of the few sane comments on this thread.

        • Some Guy

          Correct – I’ve never met a girl who claimed false rape. Several have said “Well THAT was a mistake!” while avoiding the guy at the grocery store.
          Women who sleep with misfits own their mistakes – the complete reverse of rapist behavior – in which misfits rape women and claim it was their fault.

          Rape reporting and legal process is so arduous and insulting anyway that many victims can’t face it to begin with – never mind the insanely low prosecution percentile.
          This “false rape” myth is so insidious that it goes one further – in that it seeks to blame those that haven’t even been victimized yet by framing the crimes as if they didn’t even exist.

    • http://www.facebook.com/eve.condon Eve Wartenberg Condon

      The facebook page for a marriage equality organization puts out calls to its network to fight back on anti-gay websites. We flood their comment sections, pointing out holes in their arguments and affirming our support for gay rights. It’s effective on several levels: we leave a resounding online response that refutes erroneous claims, we make our voices heard, and we support each other.

  • PieBandit

    What infuriated me is this snippet:

    “What else are you going to tell your parents when you come home drunk like that and after a night like that?” said Hubbard, who is one of the team’s 19 coaches. “She had to make up something. Now people are trying to blow up our football program because of it.”

    He doesn’t give a shit about the girl, he assumes she was lying just to destroy their stupid, precious football team. WHAT A FUCKING WANKER! This person is an exact representation of rape culture – as were all of the people who decided that because the girl put up flirty posts and pictures online that she participated in ‘high risk’ behaviour. Risk of what? Of getting raped?! I don’t care if she posted a video of herself naked or masturbating, it still doesn’t justify rape. EVER.

    I see a 16 year old unused to drinking alcohol, drinking too much and getting found by the wrong people. She’s an honour student but people care more that the two boys are on a football team. BEING GOOD AT SPORT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A GOOD PERSON. Gosh. Glad I live in Australia where we don’t have sports insanity at this level for high school teams. /end rant

    • wolcotte

      It’s worse than that. This wasn’t a girl who drank too much and blacked out, there’s evidence she was slipped a roofie, and that this was a premeditated attack planned by her ex-boyfriend who had tweeted a few months before “no one breaks up with Cody Saltsman”. He was there with the rest of his “Rape Crew”, and live tweeted mocking things during the attack, including “I have no sympathy for whores.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/paige.horst Paige Horst

    Young men are taught, often, to fear and reject anything ” feminine” in themselves and each other. Young women are castigated for appearing “aggressive” or “mannish.” When we are able to just let people be people, then perhaps crimes like this will disappear,

    What I notice about this story is the white skin of everyone involved (that I have seen, because I cannot bear to search out more images). Would Anonymous be involved, would this have come to national attention if the young people involved were brown-skinned?

    • ana

      One of the rapist was black or dark skinned…Malik.

      • paige horst

        Thanks…I just…I couldn’t read about it or look at the pictures anymore…

  • msx314

    awful. just awful. why… the world is so fucked… ((((
    can’t believe it’s XXI century… where’s the progress, humanity?

  • http://www.facebook.com/tdmeis Theresa Dorsey Meis

    “Alleged rape.” As a tie-back to your other blog post about bullying, I was teased throughout school so much about being a slut (my only actual crime: boobs at age 10) that when I was raped I walked away and pretended it wasn’t rape to save myself from the “alleged” label, assuming no one would believe ME. It took me 10 years to even admit to myself it was rape, be able to tell ANYONE about it, and I still can’t speak the words, “I was raped” outloud. Because the victim-blaming might begin (or so says the terrified 22-year old that just broke free from my brain’s deep-dark this past fall…)

  • Ingrid

    The things that are done to women sometimes make me want to just hide away and never read anything on the internet again, because how am I supposed to deal with all of this shit? It makes me feel so powerless. But I’m trying not to give up, to take part in my uni’s feminist group and a local anti-street harassment initiative and to tell people, all the time, what is wrong. I hope it helps, somehow.

  • http://twitter.com/Dracomama Theresa Dorsey Meis

    “Allegedly raped.” This ties back to your bullying blog post… I was teased a lot in school about being a slut (my “crime”: boobs at age 10). So when at 22-years of age I was raped, I walked away from it feeling lucky to be alive, and in that terrified, survival-instinct moment, I had myself convinced to shut up and never speak about it because if I said anything my life would be dragged through the mud (it was not even a year after 9/11, the guys were both military, and American Heroes™ don’t rape!) and everyone would know that I really was a slut after all. I drove away that day and never looked back, never spoke about it, never applied the “R-word” to what happened, even in my head. Until this past fall, ten years down the line, when through a discussion with a friend suddenly I realized, “Wow, I was raped!” It was that ridiculous of a moment, as if I had suddenly realized the sky was blue. The only triggered emotion I’m experiencing right now is RAGE that our culture still has not outgrown the “blame the victim” mentality when it comes to sexual crimes. The fact that I still can’t say “I was raped” out loud (my inner terrified-22-year-old self takes over and chokes back the words whenever I try to get them out) says a lot about the power of victim-blaming and slut-shaming.

    • Trying to change the world

      Theresa, as I told Ethan, sending you all the support, light and strength that I can. And good hugs.
      Please find a good counselor to talk about with this! Don’t keep the rage inside of you. You are strong enough to overcome what those criminals did to you. The fact that you are able to write about it now shows that you are making real progress!

  • Charlotte

    Fuck. There are no words :( that is absolutely horrific. How the hell can people find it in their souls to be so mean and vile? As someone else said, this is why it means so much to be a good human being. We’ll just have to try twice as hard to make up for it. And pray that these idiots get punished as they deserve to be, and realize what nasty people they are, and then have to live with it for the rest of their lives. I love you Amanda. And every other good person out there. x

  • Brian L

    Disgusting, simply disgusting. The evidence is clear, these young men (NOT boys, because then they’d be considered juveniles) are guilty as charged of rape, no sane jury in the country would rule otherwise. I don’t give a damn about how important they are to some high school football team, they are criminals and should be treated as such.

  • tammy
  • Vallie in Portland

    It’s just grotesque. Simply grotesque.

  • http://twitter.com/ohheyitsethannn Ethan Bradley

    It’s very sad that even as advanced as we are in this country, rapists get all the rights over the victim and spend almost no time in jail for what they’ve done. I learned this the hard way. After being sexually abused by my father for a great number of years, I finally said something. I built up the courage over ten years but sometimes I wish I hadn’t spoken up, because it’s like nothing even changed. There is a pending trial though. I was told that even if I testify (which I’m not sure I can handle) he will probably not spend any time in jail. He gets to make a whole case against me, getting all my documents from therapists, hospitals, ect. I have to be on the sidelines waiting to be humiliated in court. It’s not fair. This is why people don’t speak up. It’s not like how it is on an episode of Law and Order SVU. Innocent until proven guilty. My word against his.

    • http://twitter.com/astarynight Crystal Michelle

      That’s so horrible, Ethan. I don’t get how anyone, in their rightful mind, could ever hurt their own flesh and blood. I wish I could hug you right now.

      One of my childhood friends was raped multiple times, once by her biological father, and then several of foster parents. I asked why she never told anyone and she always told me her situation was more complicated than that. She was afraid for her life. Of course, by the time she told someone, like me, years of sexual abuse had been laid to rest, but the damage was ever-present.

    • Trying to change the world

      Ethan, sending you all the support, light and strength that I can. And good hugs. Regardless of the outcome of the trial, be proud of yourself that you found the courage to stand up for yourself. That took an enormous amount of courage and strength. I’m very proud of you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=521625964 Mutha Hydra

    It’s a little bit you watching the news again …

    I will never just stand by …

    last year –

    my sister stopped a young woman being dragged from a bus ( in die Mutterland of London ) by a group of men. She was assisted by another 30something year old woman and I thoroughly believe she stopped something like this from happening. No one else did fuck all.

    My son was beaten on a bus by young men considerably older and bigger than him – a fellow 13 year old student helped him defend himself and get off the bus. No one else did fuck all. I told the 35 year old man, who was trying to justify his non involvement whilst a 12 year old was beaten by 15 year olds, to go and fuck himself and that he was a coward and an oxygen thief. I hope he remembers his rationale the next time he get’s mugged.

    Another friend of mine was raped in a train toilet, 30 mins outside Kings Cross Rail station. She was quiet ( as sometimes can happen ), so no one knew they needed to intervene and help but I believe the, ” stand by in case you get stabbed or shot ” culture we seem to live in contributed in a major way to the perpetrator thinking they could get away with this in the first place, in such a public, controlled place. She had him knicked as he left the train – with his wife and their suitcases – they were on their way to the airport to go on holiday. He left his sperm in her, he is in prison now. She was very, very brave.

    I apprehended someone who tried to steal a handbag outside the houses of fucking parliament, whilst 2 policemen stood by because they weren’t allowed to stop protecting politicians, who at that point did not need protecting ( in an immediate sense ). So I used my martial skills to immobilise him until another Rozzer arrived.

    I have also seen acts of extreme kindness and generosity on the tube and the pavements, I have been helped. My friend’s have been helped.

    The kids on the broadway ( who are disaffected, socially marginalised people who often have been neglected and abused ) will never scare me. It’s all very well for me ( swords woman extraordinaire and force of nature ) not to back down. I know their mum’s – they ain’t going to pull a gun on me. I am more likely to give them a thick ear, and a severe talking to ( which in my crew/family/pod we call, ” telling someone their fortune ” ).

    I am facilitating safety agreements and workshops at the conventions and events I work at.

    I will NEVER stand by and there are many people like me.

    Also, the girl on the train was me.

    • Trying to change the world

      I love that you came through as a strong, brave woman. Kudos!

  • http://twitter.com/duendecillita Buck

    I read about this a few days ago, and I can’t. I can’t read any more. I can’t look at any more. It makes me physically ill. It makes me feel weak, and vulnerable, and unprotected, and unable to go outside. I can’t make myself post about it. I can’t make myself sign the petition. All of which I want to. But I feel useless and powerless, which I know is the wrong reaction, and I know is what the rapists (fuck alleged, and I don’t mean for just this time, I mean in every occurrence ever) want. But, I just can’t. Maybe someday soon, I’ll curl up with some wine/chocolate/cats/blankets/friends and be able to talk about this, and then post about this, but for now, I can’t. And I hate that I can’t.

    • Trying to change the world

      Don’t hate yourself. Never before have we had the ability to know about so many good and bad things so rapidly as now. It’s very easy to overload. You HAVE to protect yourself. If that means stepping back sometimes then step back. It doesn’t mean that you are walking away. Think of it as sleeping. We “miss” the world when we sleep – and that’s OK, it’s still there when we wake up – same thing. Take time to “sleep” and heal and grow strong, then face the world and the news again.

  • http://twitter.com/astarynight Crystal Michelle
  • http://www.facebook.com/randy.schott.9 Randy Schott

    Part of it, is that you are now watching the news, (shouldn’t
    by the way. Bad for the spirit) and mostly it’s that the world is racing ahead
    with insane actions. It’s like the whole world is collectively going insane, at
    least that’s my view. Stay strong and safe Amanda.

  • http://www.facebook.com/eve.condon Eve Wartenberg Condon

    Things are never going to get sane. I’ve been trying to practice detachment; it isn’t easy, especially since I have my own history of trauma. I try to remember that if we allow these horrors to lay us low, we can’t fight them. We have to find the strength within ourselves to confront and battle these human evils without falling prey to hatred and helplessness. That is the only way we will beat the darkness back.

    • Trying to change the world

      Wise words, Eve. Sending you light and energy to continue your healing.

      • http://www.facebook.com/eve.condon Eve Wartenberg Condon

        Thank you!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Melanie-Heim/735373387 Melanie Heim

    If this was my daughter I would be all over the news talking about this. WHY? are we letting them get away with this? Amanda I don’t think you have heard the whole story, they where at a coaches house too, where he provided booze for the kids. The whole story will come out. And it is that you are off the road and have time to hear about the news, these things happen all the time. Honestly, I feel that the youth of our nation feels like they have anything to live for. I think that these actions are only going to be more prevalent in society, it’s disgusting. People with big hearts like us have a hard time fathoming these incidents. I wish we lived in a world where people don’t get stabbed or mugged for there shoes. And girls don’t get raped at parties. But maybe I have lost faith in humanity, maybe I lost it a long time ago.

  • http://twitter.com/Tonebutch Toni Palmer

    I’ve been reading about this. It’s fucking terrible! And to add salt to the wound, many/some of the kids who witnessed this are JOKING about it. Calling her a “dead body”, and making rape jokes. That this happened to her at all is terrible enough, but then the reaction of some other kids there (and after) is fucking disgusting. It makes me worry that we’re raising a whole generation of sociopaths. Where is the sympathy/empathy/basic human kindness?! This whole situation makes me angry and incredibly sad. I want to shake those kids involved (& the joke-makers) and Make them FEEL something resembling real human emotion and empathy!

    I feel like I am a bitter, cynical person. I feel like what I’ve seen in the world and how the world has treated me has made me that way (relates to yr “bullying” blog). I am self-aware of that. And regardless of that, maybe because of that, I still have Empathy. I still Do care. How are there (seemingly) so many ppl w/out those basic human traits? It creates in me a fight or flight. And my flight usually equals pulling the blanket over my head and sleeping until it goes away (it doesn’t).

    • http://www.facebook.com/eve.condon Eve Wartenberg Condon

      I’d say the problem is bigger than many/some individuals making jokes about it. It seems to be an entire culture within this school. There’s no discernible resistance or backlash against the numerous posts, tweets, and videos denigrating the victim and joking about rape. People are either joining in or staying silent. This goes beyond some bad apples–the whole school is implicated.

  • A Teacher

    Before Rick Perry’s Budget cuts (again) to the education system, I worked as a High School Teacher for four years. In that time I worked at a school that had, socioeconomically, lowest of the lows and highest of the highs. The school had a mix of students, majority being white, around 40% and hispanics around 40%. the other 20% where African Americans, Asians, and those classified only as “others.” The reason I bring this information to people, is so they know what I have personally seen is not typical of other High Schools in the area.

    Yes, I worked in Texas, Yes, majority of my students were Conservative (Hispanic and African members included), and Yes, I’m a liberal woman who taught World History and US History as a moderate, not a liberal. What I saw in my High School were beyond comprehension at times. I look like a teenager, no doubt about it, but I held myself above all the teenagers so the KNEW I was not one of them (I’m 28 who looks 16 yay -.-). But I did have my fair share of benign and malicious male approaches in my 4 years. The benign was being asked to Prom/Homecoming, which I politely declined, and the malicious was having a 15 year old smack the ever loving bejeeezus out of my behind (Which he went to a women’s sensitivity training on behalf of his social worker).

    What I have noticed in my brood of 15-17 year olds is that this comes from both sides. On one hand, the boys are taught to behave as if women don’t matter, and the girls are taught to capture the attention of the boys by wearing low cut jeans (or jeggings) and have your thong, showing, or show your “lack-there-of” undergarments for the pure enjoyment of the boys. There is a middle and far sides, but this is just a generalization of my teenagers.

    I have yelled at boys from yelling at girls who wore way-too-reavealing clothing, saying that’s innapropriate, how would you like it, etc. To the extreme, “of get into my room we’re having a talk and I”m calling your mama” routine. Shockingly, the parents have no voice on the matter saying kids will be kids, but that’s another teacher gripe for another day. I have even approached girls who have dressed in revealing clothing about their choice of clothes, their self esteem, and way men look at them, and a good majority want that kind of attention, the others don’t know how else to dress because their mothers and older sisters dress this way too and they can’t afford other clothing.

    When I get into converstions about parties (for clarification, I teach at my alma mater, and a good number of my students are friend’s siblings, and they tell me EVERYTHING even when they know I have to call authorities on it), the girls tell me how they had gotten drunk and spent the evening making out with boys, and the boys would tell me about staying sober (!!!!) and picking up on the drunk girls to have their way with them (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Trying NOT to show my disapproval in a negative manner (I really hate being someone who wears their emotions like a gaudy grandma’s christmas sweater) I tell them that that is not appropriate behavior and you can get arrested for that kind of stuff on rape charges, to which they scoff at me with a whatever mentality. That is, before I narc on them to my superiors and thus become the un-cool teacher (don’t get me started on saggy pants!).

    Now, teenagers are pack animals, with strict social behavior when regarding themsevles in school and other social functions. Basically, if something like what happened above happened at a party in my high schoool, there would be teenagers tweeting and facebooking away because if you step into something like this, you will get a sever punishment for making the rest of us look bad. Re: Last Blog. I have seen that happen plenty of times, where one girl/boy/person tries to stand up for what is right against the social majority, and within a few short days (hours) they are already on the internet for being called a narc, a weirdo, etc. Its a social mindset to like what your friends like, and stand up for your friends, because they’ll be with you thick or thin (the stories I can tell you of friends backstabbing another could turn into another essay like this one).

    Here’s the thing though, while I’ve tried to give a snapshot of what I’ve dealt with on a HIgh School level, the girls who dress risque and like the male attention are for the most part on the lower socioeconomic level (not all but a good sum of them do this). The boys on the other hand come from a higher socioeconomic level (a good majority sadly from my experience). And the girls are usually in lower classes, on-level, etc. while the boys tend to be the jocks, in above-level classes, and when talking to their parents about their behavior, was startled at how much their little one couldn’t do that.

    But again, this was mostly for perspective sake on what goes on in a high school, from my personal experiences. I could only do so much to show these children better ways of addressing the world, but again, pack mentality strikes another blow.

    A Teacher.

    • A Teacher

      PS Grammar and spelling may be blamed on my dyslexia.

    • http://twitter.com/SignoraPaesior Maria-Jane Brodie

      You’re really going to start in on how young women who dress in revealing clothing have low/no self-esteem? Not appropriate, not acceptable, and if you were my teacher I’d be complaining as high up as I could contact.

      • A Teacher

        I guess I could of worded it better, the girls who I talked to about the way they dressed talked about how they felt better about themselves if they dressed this way because they didn’t like themselves otherwise, they preffered the attention rather than be invisible, I never once confronted them about their self esteem, I just wanted to talk to them about their fashion choices since I had to send a good majority of them to the office because of the way they looked (not by my choice, but by my superiors). Not all those girls had low self esteem issues either, there were a good few who had better self esteem than I did, and gave me pointers on how to better myself. Basically what I was trying to get at is that there was variety of conversation I got from my teenaged girls about their dress and behavior. I had a girl once strip tease in the middle of class and when I pulled her aside, she just wanted to show the guys what she had and didn’t feel sorry for it. Again, I had to send her to the office than sit and talk about what made her feel that way. I’m sorry thats what you implied from my post, that was not my intention at all.

    • Bush

      Excellent post. The problem is systemic and will require a lot of rewiring for most people.

  • Nat

    No words can be strong enough to describe this non sense. Here un France, the media talk about a rape in India (a young woman was rapped, beaten to death… by 6 men. She died. Make me sick

  • Bush

    If this is turned into a gender based issue we are fucked people. I believe in human rights, not the rights of the group I happen to belong to. It is too easy to have “blog courage” and type a bunch of hyperbole but I challenge people to try to see this atrocity for what it is….. a disgusting anomaly. If you are now going to go out and hate because of this crime and try to profile people then the game is over and welcome to a new dark age. I despise that “jock” culture but I refuse to let my prejudice (and we are ALL prejudiced) to govern my thoughts. Throw the LEGAL book at the perpetrators, stand up for each other, think intelligently about how to prevent this and try to make good choices to keep yourself and others safe (as reasonably possible). Don’t worry, I’m expecting lotsa hate for this comment so fire away :)

    • fenhueisen

      No hate, just agreement, actually. I do not believe all athletes are capable of this. When we’re so outraged at an act so heinous such as was done to this poor girl, we just want to blame (insert label here). And that is a dangerous, slippery slope. We can’t fight violence with violence, prejudice with prejudice, it doesn’t work that way if what we really want is change.

  • http://twitter.com/emsquarenc James Michael

    “… is it just because i’m off tour and paying attention to the news again?”

    It’s that you are paying attention to the news again. Mans inhumanity to man keeps rolling along. Crime after crime and victim after victim. There is a side of our culture that is functionaly sociopathic. Take what you can. Indulge any impulse as the urge strikes you with no regard for the harm you inflict on another. That’s what evil is. The reason evil keeps rolling along is that it is seldom opposed. Stood up to. Called to account. Evil usually gets away with it until someone puts a stop to it. This happened in a place where the perps knew no one was going to challenge what they were doing, More than that was they were egged on. ???

    Listen, I am male. I revel in being masculine. I have worked a long time on building my character. Meaning that I do not abuse or take advantage of other people. Moral inhibition is just the entry level stuff for being a good human being. At some point you have to make up your mind what you are not going to do to other people. The next step is to take up the defense of those who cannot defend themselves. Does the phrase “Over my dead body” sound familiar? They would have had to beat me down or killed me to do that to her. I kid you not.

    • Trying to change the world

      James, the world needs more men like you. You sound like one of my sons.

      • http://twitter.com/emsquarenc James Michael

        Thank you for the kind words.
        Thank you for raising upright sons.
        Hard to think of anything more important
        To often this doesn’t get the recognition it deserves

  • http://www.facebook.com/amanda.estes.902 Amanda Estes

    “Lord of the Flies” in action.

  • NativeWit

    Down by the Riverside motel,
    it’s 10 below and falling
    by a 99 cent store she closed her eyes
    and started swaying
    but it’s so hard to dance that way
    when it’s cold and there’s no music
    well your old hometown is so far away
    but, inside your head there’s a record
    that’s playing, a song called

    Hold on, hold on
    You really got to hold on
    Take my hand, I’m standing right here
    and just hold on.

    – Tom Waits

    You made a drawing, Amanda. This bit of Tom Waits came straight into my mind. I have no other words, but to say I think Tom knows best somedays. Hold on.

  • J

    A few years ago, I reconnected with the friend I had shared my first kiss with. One day, he made an off the cuff stupid comment about how he was going to rape his girlfriend when she got home. I know he didn’t mean he was actually going to rape her, but I told him not to use that word around me like that. I believe that words have power and that rape is not a word that needs to have its power diminished. Instead of saying “I’m sorry, I won’t use the word like that around you anymore” the way my other friends have after I explained my reasoning, he proceeded to argue with me and said it shouldn’t bother me because I didn’t know anyone who had been raped, something that is absolutely not true. I’ve had female and male friends who were raped or sexually assaulted, I have family members who were molested. Even if I didn’t, the lack of respect for such a small request was decisive. I decided he wasn’t worth having as a friend.

  • Jean

    The only way I know to cope right now is to make art. Stop pretending, art is hard. http://jwoest.blogspot.com/2013/01/pictures-or-it-didnt-happen.html

  • sigmundo

    if you would go sleeping forever the insanity would be more intense…

  • Rachel

    This outrage from the woman who pretended to sexually assault a lookalike of Katy Perry on stage for shits and giggles? You’re a part of the rape culture problem. Stop acting like you’re better than people.

  • boiAnachronism

    i’m not going to read the article. but i’ve been through bad bad shit before. i’m saddened. when is the bad maddness going to end? seriously sad.

  • devcoffee

    Anonymous and localleaks are getting information about this (http://localleaks.blogs.ru/2013/01/01/steubenvillefiles/), and the more that seems to unravel, the worse it gets. Utterly horrifying, I really can’t find any other words worth saying. I can’t imagine. My heart goes out to that poor girl, and all of the other victims that group has gotten to.
    *WARNING: the link I provided above includes incredibly disturbing material.


    I know exactly how u feel regarding this article,although it brings back alot of horrifying memories for me,as well.My story is so sickening because it not only happened to myself,but my son as well,and he still suffers everyday with depression and thoughts of suicide bc of what happened. It makes me wann purchase a gun and blow a certain family member’s dick/balls off,so he can never hurt anyone again!!

  • DeclanMills

    Kitty Genovese Syndrome for the internet age? Like a sick real-life version of that Fall Out Boy video where Brendon and Spencer from P!atD drag Pete Wentz’s dead body around town in the hope of gaining a million followers on Twitter. I weep for humanity. I hope the perps get life in jail. I hope any bystanders who didn’t help and/or aren’t co-operating with the investigation get at least 25 years. Sadly I doubt the US (or any other) legal system would allow that.

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