Screen Shot 2016-02-29 at 2.23.57 PM

welcome back champ. now get your fucking shit together.

i’m home. three months was a long time to be away from a consistent bed.

i’m sitting at the kitchen table listening to the new avril lavigne record.
it’s really not good so far. it’s actually pretty awful.
but it’s not bad for reflecting. it frees my mind.

everything’s been happening by accident,
but maybe not.

this was supposed to be a wrap-up blog of All Things Australia, but i’ve put it off for long enough that it’s turned into a classic end-of-tour self-examination AFP special.
i’m barely interested in talking about what i did yesterday. i can’t remember two weeks ago.

i’m home.

casey and some of my ragtag cloud club housemates (i think it was michelle and megan, and maybe someone else) made me a sign.
michelle was staying in my apartment this whole time. she’s sleeping on casey’s floor now, surrounded by a cloth-y wall they made of christmas light and sheets.

20110324-01

i was reflecting on the last year or so of my life and i think, artistically, i will look back on it as my time of “pure ridiculousness.”

a while back, i put the solo record out.
it took more than a year to make and release. it was planned, it was hard, it took forever to birth, and it was perfect.

then i continued running my solo career as if i were one half of the dresden dolls instead of just Amanda Palmer.
it wore me out.
(it wore me out)
after the solo record, i was done. done making normal records, done doing what everybody wanted me to do (who was everyone? they only existed in my head, as usual), done touring rock club to rock club on the same material, done planning ahead.
so i stopped.

but i kept going.

and

i started doing what i wanted.

i stopping doing logical bullshit career things and i started picking the projects that meant less money, but more time around more gentle friends, the kind of people i liked sharing wine and stories with.

i picked evelyn evelyn (commercial suicide), i picked an EP of radiohead cover songs (not suicide, but close, like browsing in a pawn shop for a gun), a dip back in musical theater with my part in “Cabaret” (i was paid less to be in that show, per week, than my lowest-paid staff member, and i had 5 people working for me…but i loved it).
i let the money slip away and i sold enough merch on the road and online and did enough shows to break even on the side.

and i threw together an album of mish-mash recordings to release in australia, just so i could have a less flimsy excuse to go back to brunswick street in melbourne and get coffee.
i’m serious. those two things went together in my head.

i have no manager.
i have no label.
nobody advises me (at least, from an office at a desk), nobody tells me what to do, nobody’s freaking out that i’m not in the charts.

i just read an interview with lykke li in spin magazine. i can read between the lines now.
i’ve been following the career of lady gaga, who sort of represents to me the ultimate fantasy of what i had at 11 years old of what a Pop Star was.
there was a time when i wanted to be a Pop Star. or a Rock Star.
i didn’t know the difference back then.
i think i can explain it this way: when i was 11, i imagined that all of the shit that i was seeing on MTV, the gloss, the Duran Duran yacht-lifestyle, the fabulousness, the fashion, the flashing photographers, the endless parade of excess…i imagined that’s what it would be.

fun.

i didn’t see a Rock Star playing people’s backyards, riding on homemade punk bikes with fans, doing spontaneous ninja beach gigs, talking to plaid-dress-clad girls at public high schools, crashing in art galleries, sitting around tables with tech geeks pretending to be werewolves, being fed by strangers on a nightly basis, standing up on trash cans and in bathrooms in remote parts of the world singing to crowds of people who were both enchanted and irritated, playing dress-up with children on off nights….and i certainly didn’t imagine staring at a computer screen half the day trying to organize it with heart.

i always imagined some other imaginary entity doing all the organizing.

but that’s what it is.
that’s what’s happened.
and i wouldn’t trade it.
i’ve seen a lot of things, i’ve lived a lot of ways.
i’ve toured with huge musicians, small musicians, the whole gamut.
and i’ve seen at close-range what kind of life you can choose for yourself when you decide to be a touring musician.

i cast my die.
the australian tour was That to me.
it summed it all up.
i toured the way i wanted with the people i wanted to be with and i felt certain that all the moves – even the ones that yielded no money, no press, no product – were the right ones.

the country was built for that. i love it there so much – the people, the people…what is it about the australians?
i miss it like i’d miss a person.
it’s the combination of the warm, the art, the food and the gentle crazed openness of those i’ve been lucky enough to call my australian family.
australia allows me – for whatever reason – to use its sunburnt mass as a playground for amanda-palmer-antics, cheers me on, piles on encouraging fuel to the bonfire, brings marshmallows the the great conflagration of The Amanda Palmer Experiment.

i found myself in piles and piles of people, squished against beautiful bodies every night – and i loved every pile.

in byron bay, on the beach at a last-minute ninja gig:
20110324-02

in sydney, at mardi gras with my pick-up back-up dancing gay boys:
20110324-03

backstage in byron at the great northern, with kim boekbinder & st. clare (of mikelangelo and saint clare, who i toured with).
20110324-04

in melbourne, at the st. kilda backyard BBQ organized by guy jukes….
20110324-05

here’s the thing:
the 11 year old didn’t understand what happiness would mean.
how could she?
i thought that the glamour, the fame, the entourage, the attention…i thought that WAS the happiness.
the end.
i thought that the tossed-back hair and dry ice captured in those epic videos and commercials i was watching told the truth and held a mysterious end in themselves.
it’s taken me a lifetime to totally undo that programming.
i wonder if it ever goes away.

i feel its shadow, sometimes.

but barely.

…………..

twitter helped.

my second big solo tour of australia – exactly two years ago, when Who Killed Amanda Palmer came out – was when i discovered its power.

it was neil (who i was just starting to date) and zoë keating (who was on tour with me, with her cello) who got me hooked for real, after i’d been hounded to death (uselessly, shame on me) by my internal team about its merits. it often takes another artist – or someone right in your face saying LOOK LOOK WHAT IT CAN DO!!! LOOK!!! to win you over to things like that.
and so i was won over. things haven’t been the same since. my last few tours, like a hybrid car, ran on traditional gas and twitter power. when i ran out of twitter power, i went the traditional route as a back-up. but when i could, i rode the fumes of twitter to the ends of australia.

we used it for ninja gigs, restaurant recommendations, we found the internet using suggestions from the people of the village, we promoted our less-than-sold-out gigs by giving away tickets, we helped out friends, we gave away the music directly, asking for donations.

twitter has become the platform by which i do business.

its crazy. its changing the world and the way people find out about everything – even the big things.

i felt this the other night when i watched the japan earthquake unfold on twitter. watched people giving each other information, help, hope. watched people grateful to their twitter feeds because they were now becoming the alarm system to their own neighborhoods. i said it that night, more or less:
twitter is an online paul revere collective. the british are FUCKED.
so to speak. we are the media, more and more, every day.

i’m not sure what i’m going to do next. but that’s a lie.
i know exactly what i’m going to do: i’m going to actively not decide what i’m doing next.

i’ve been either on tour, making a record, or doing some Epic Project non-stop for eleven years.
i have not taken a real break.

so this is going to be my break.
i’m not going to commit to recording a new record, i’m not going to do a big next tour, i’m going to clean up this apartment and this here computer, both of which are caked and choked by 11 years worth of project-debris, and i’m going to do some Fun Ass Shit. i figure: i’ve put out three records this year. i’ve earned it. and if i try to do something else, i won’t be running on twitter gas or normal gas, i’ll be running on fumes. time to stop and reassess. my mind is full of songs that have already been written, they play over and over in my head with as much repetition as a top 40 radio station. i’ll let them finish themselves. they’re almost all cooked.

i’ll let everything sit.

and don’t worry: you won’t notice.
i tend to blog MORE when i’m off the road and out of the studio. you’ll get bored.
it’s not time off like normal people take it. i hate that kind of time off.
i don’t even KNOW any normal people.
i don’t know what i’m talking about.
anyway, here we go.

………………………..

meanwhile…

here are some of my favorite unbloggished moments from australia, PART ONE.
still life’s with texts.

tom & amanda at the brisbane ninja gig/twitnic:
20110324-06
via flickr

tom put this gig together. the jane austen argument followed the ninja gig model and started doing “twitnics” all over the place.
it was a memorable ninja gig in a park under a beautiful bandstand, with about 100+ people gathered to listen to us play (helped by a ninja accordion played, will)…
but….

even more memorable was getting kicked off the gazebo by the park police, who had an “official” even to host.
i’d heard rumors that there were a band of freaks playing a game called “jugger” somewhere else in the park, so we bombarded them.
don’t ask me what the rules were, they’re hazy, but basically you get put on a team, wield swords and try to hit people.
they invited us into their fold and for a while, it was a jugger-ninja lovefest. my team won.

20110324-07

via flickr

amanda vs tom dickins:
20110324-08

ah, tom, i see your schwartz is as big as mine.

watch out for the child.

 

this was a beautiful moment at the beginning of tour, when i showed up ninja-like in federation square in melbourne….
20110324-09

mustaches usually turn me off. but…

this was from a quieter moment behind the melbourne Dear Old House (aka Peter & Clare’s):
20110324-10
that’s jen from the jane austen argument singing next to tom, and tom’s mum, and tom’s girlfriend ange, and kim boekbinder’s shocking pink head. it was a little garden party that we threw to celebrate me & neil’s engagement. it was beautiful.

me and mr. man hosting Rage TV, which is australian MTV except unlike MTV they actually play music videos….it still hasn’t aired.
i’ll let you know when it does. it was fun as hell. he took over an entire dressing room in sydney opera house and covered it with my clothes:
20110324-11

with my wonderful friend ron nordin, on a boat in sydney harbour. ron went home and totally changed his life:
20110324-12
i’m proud of him.

backstage putting eyeliner on tom before the sydney ninja gig.
kim and i were practicing a song together at the same time.
i just love this moment:
20110324-13

said ninja gig, at carriageworks:
20110324-14
it was a fucking great one.

federation square….melbourne. my love. at sunset:
20110324-15

more later. i’m still slogging through tour photos.

also, for shits:

among my top tour-reading recommendations….

bill bryson
at home: a short history of private life
20110324-16

sean (aka @indeciSEAN, who helps me with All Things Internet) knows my devotion to Bill and bought me a signed copy of “at home” (fangirl) right before i left for this tour.
it’s another brilliant bryson-tangent-after-tangent masterpiece. not as god-we’re-so-small and thrilling as “a short history of nearly everything”, more god-humans-are-strange and i found myself sharing bits of it with whoever would listen. the trivia contained within was typical of bryson trivia – taking you behind the scenes of the clockwork and invention of the man-made objects and comforts around, using his victorian rectory home in the UK as a kind of a clumsy launching pad. he takes us through the evolution of the light bulb, the bed, windows, telephones, wallpaper, and disease, including a fantastic passage about human beings’ long-standing feud with rodents. it’s a classic bill bryson meal, and like all his other books he writes in a style that makes you wish you could hang out with him all the time; his wit and sardonic delivery ties the whole mess together beautifully.

more books soon. i’ve been reading some incredible shit.
more everything soon.

ramble on soldiers,

XXX
afp

Back to Blog
  • http://twitter.com/mashalpha mash

    Great blog thank you for sharing all these wonderful trips

    • Ss_vip50

      nieccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc

  • http://www.Kambriel.com Kambriel

    You know the difference? When you were little, you were looking at things as they appeared from the outside ~ viewing what the smoke and mirrors wanted you to see. Now you’re feeling and experiencing them from the inside, where sometimes mirrors have cracks and the fog machines need to be tinkered with and re-filled.

    Expect some new goodies from me soon!

  • PolitelyOffend

    Good blog. Thanks. <3

  • http://twitter.com/prncssdrake prncssdrake

    This is amazing, your tour was amazing and your amazing ;o) Take a nap, you deserve it!

  • Pam

    In terms of cool stuff to read, I’d recommend Donna Tartt, who’s written “The Secret History” and “The Little Friend” so far (apparently her third novel is FINALLY coming out next year). Not sure if you’ve heard of her before, but I feel like her work would be right up your alley.

    Love from Maine,

    Pamela (@PamNotAnderson)

    P.S. Hey! Great idea: you should play a gig at my college! We can eat lobster and visit lighthouses together, if you’d like. We are in desperate need of more Brechtian punk cabaret around these parts. Plus, we can pay you a handsome sum, although I know that’s not why you make/play music.

  • tracie

    That’s the most enjoyable thing I’ve read all day! Thanks!

  • http://twitter.com/JohnMCoons John Coons

    Glad to have you back in Boston. It’s been great to watch your adventures unfold electronically- some of that sunlight filtered through to all of us back here in Graysville. I hope you know that twitter is a two-way street- as much as you get from all of us, you give us back such an intensely personal look into your life, stripped from all the PR bullshit that so many pop artists have to put on. I describe you as one of the “Relentlessly Creatives” that I have had the pleasure of encountering at some point in my life.

    I feel only slightly dumb writing this, but I wanted to say more about what you’ve given whether you know it or not…. I moved to Boston in September from Maine, taking my first step into the bigger world… and it felt like not all the parts of me came along for the ride. What actually made me feel like I was living a life at all and that I had made the right decision leave my comfort zone was your Late Night Fucking Cabarets- one of your fun gigs that probably made you zero money. I went to four or five of them and it made me go, “Why the fuck aren’t I doing the things I want to do?” Then, after one of your Cabaret performances, you gave me a hug and said that I was “already part of the revolution.”

    So, partially inspired by your manically creative life, I bit the bullet and started sharing some of the songs I had written. Then, terrifying as it was, I played piano (in front of PEOPLE!) and sang at an open mic or two. Last week, I did my first full hour long singer-songwriter set (in Mobile, Alabama of all places), and now it looks like I’m moving to Seattle in September and will be pursuing some kind of living hodge-podged together from teaching, classical music, and singer-songwriting…. pretty much because I saw people like you who just fucking did it. They just fucking chose to do what they wanted to do- they gave their own definitions of success and flipped off whoever told them otherwise.

    It may feel like you’re not engaged in some Epic Project right now, but you’re really just not engaged in some Epic Commercial Project- I can’t think of the effects you have on people as being anything other than epic.

    So yeah, there’s going to be more art in the world other than yours because of the art that you made. It’s all your fault.

    I hope you can live with that.

  • http://www.youtube.com/afpislove AFPisLOVE

    You are just amazing. I love you.

    • Jham

      that’s what I wanted to write;] WE LOVE U AMANDA!!!

      also, doesn’t she look amazing when running ;p

      • http://www.youtube.com/afpislove AFPisLOVE

        This is true. She does look amazing running. And in a DRESS. That has to be tough.

  • Joey O.

    Applause for the subtle Radiohead lyrical reference up there (and the Spaceballs joke). Welcome home, AFP.

  • Ryan_Anas

    The older I get the more I realize what a smart little fucker Yoda was. Unlearning what has been learned is the key. The more I let go of what I was taught or what was presented to me to be happiness as a child and start to really look at the words of the life that is right in front of my eyes, the closer i get to a feeling of real happiness. I think I may learned to do that by watching you, come to think of it.

    A break seems right. I do not know how you have managed to all that you have since I became a fan five years ago, let alone eleven! I am sure your brain and body and heart and soul will thank you.

    Welcome back to the states! May you bring some of the freedom, wonder and joy of down under with you everywhere you go. We could all use someadat!

    You running with that axe in that field! Swoon!

    <3 ry

  • Mel

    Thank you, AFuckingP, for writing this blog. I’m not going to go into my life story, but this was weirdly relevant to it and has helped me put some things in perspective, so thank you for that.
    That sort of thing aside, the past few months sound like an assload of fun, and I hope one day I’m in a place where I will be of use and can attend your twitter ninja gatherings. Or at least recommend a restaurant.

  • Jann M.

    I am kinda new to the AFP fangirl bandwagon, but I am really enjoying the ride! There is something so heart opening about your music and your blog and your tweets. It reminds me of starlight and laughter and good, rich earth. It is so real. It helps me to ignore all the bullshit in my everyday life and hang onto the real stuff. It awakens the part inside of me that feels real.

    Thank you.

    Carry on enjoying your life. Blessed be.

    • MauraLee

      Welcome aboard!

    • Lisa

      I’m also new (reeeally new, two weeks today), and I can only agree with you. This is love.

  • F.

    I have “normal” job and keep on trying to do “art things” – which don’t pay much, but bring me to a lot of interesting places and meetings. I never dreamt of being a popstar, as child. But if there’s an artist that I’ve ever envyed… it’s you, in these last months, reading your blog and twitter. I think I felt happiness and energy seeping through the words and the photos you posted. I found myself thinking more than once “well, if one day I’ll get the chance to live off of music and writing, I’d like to be this kind of artist.”
    I really hope and wish your life keeps on being this happy.
    (I also hope next time you decide to see the world and do some fun stuff, you include Italy in the places to visit.)

  • http://twitter.com/BeeKeepers Austin Strong

    (Somehow managed to double post. Good job, me.)

  • http://twitter.com/BeeKeepers Austin Strong

    Hi.

    I’m 18 years old, but I feel like I’m you at age 11.

    I’ve had this idea in my head for years now that happiness awaits me as a writer. Somehow I’ve managed to convince myself that happiness will be staring at a thousand glowing reviews of my latest novel, being hailed as one of the great authors of the year/decade/century, etc….

    I’m a conceited little prick, aren’t I? I was, at any rate, when I was 11 and I first concocting these grandiose “plans”. And somehow I’ve managed to get myself stuck in that same mindset. It’s like there’s this precipice and I’m standing on it, but I can’t look down. Or maybe it isn’t a precipice at all, I’m just standing there with my eyes closed utterly convinced that my next step will take me a long way down.

    Right now I can’t feel justified in saying that I’m happy, or even content. I’m just… here. I’ve been here for a long time. Year after year I’ve thought that change is just around the corner and I’ll be THERE, I won’t be HERE anymore. Maybe I really am at that precipice and I need to just fucking fall. I was about to make a sarcastic comment about how sensible that idea it, but I’m done being sensible. I’m done doing what everyone else wants (and I think your everyone and my everyone should get together and have tea sometime).

    Yeah, this is rant-y and angst-y and I pretty much just repeated what you said, but it somehow makes me feel better to be as open and honest about those feelings as you have. So…

    thanks.

  • therealtaryn

    perspective is a wonderful thing. It seems like a no brainer to pursue what’s right for you and what makes you happy in lieu of what you’re expected to do, but it’s something I just recently understood and I’m experimenting with. i’m happy you ditched the record company and had such an amazing adventure in Australia. your pursuit of art and happiness inspires me in a way nothing else can, so thank you for being so god damned amazing.

    -Taryn

  • http://mataduvor.blogg.se angelica

    love the pics! and woha, yeah you deserve a breake, but yeah more bloggs!! <3

  • misfitheartlust

    I fucking love you, might I suggest you also listen to my friend Henry Rollins spin tracks on KCRW?
    PS. I miss you in the big yellow taxi. Thank you so much for meeting me. x

  • http://twitter.com/UKMelia Melia

    To learn that you love Bill Bryson makes me love you even more. I didn’t think that was possible.

  • MauraLee

    I don’t really know what to say except that you’re the best and totally deserve more fun things in your life! :D I hope you enjoy the world on your break. :]

  • WanderingDaughter

    Get some rest you wonderful woman! You’ve worked your ass off, time to take a moment for you :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/Acerebel Nicola Stratford

    Great to read that you love Australia. I so enjoy Good News Week when you’re on it. If you’re looking for good reading, try anything by Christopher Hitchens – a man who will not tolerate naked emperors, gods or sacred cows. Keep on being Amanda, please; you’re one of the more interesting people on our planet at the moment.

  • Kaymurrell

    I really enjoy reading your blog. To me you are a celebrity and it is nice to see the humanity in it. I assume you are familiar with Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. On the album Murder Ballads there is the song The Curse of Millhaven. Every time I here it I think it would be fucking awesome if you did a cover of this.

    Thanks for being you and bring your talent to the masses,

    K

  • http://www.facebook.com/Acerebel Nicola Stratford

    Oh, PS. A short but inspired read can be found in ‘The sound of a wild snail eating': http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129475625

  • Jessymcshane

    come to mn sometime. We will be SO supportive!

  • Just another fanboy

    i’m not sure what i’m going to do next. but that’s a lie.
    i know exactly what i’m going to do: i’m going to actively not decide what i’m doing next. – Amanda Palmer 2011

    You inspire me to live my life to the fullest!

  • wiccabasket

    This is EXACTLY what I need to read right now. I’m suffering intense stage fright, coupled with deep insecurity and general shittery and you’ve just smacked me round the back of my head with the cold, damp Haddock Of Reality.

    There’s real joy in that there blog post. Joy and fluffiness and confidence.

    Cheers missus. I’ll shout you a pint whenever you’re in Suffolk.

  • wiccabasket

    As for books, I can heartily recommend ‘My Granny Made Me An Anarchist’, Stuart Christie’s* autobiography. It’s fascinating stuff…

    (*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stuart_Christie)

  • Squeaky

    Take a break! You fucking deserve it :) Also, Bill Bryson is a god among essayists. Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid=Adorable

  • elblooz

    Damn, you NEED a break. I’ve been getting exhausted just following you on line for the last year.
    Hope you have a good time relaxing.
    (Relaxing—you do remember what that is, right?)

  • Leishkin

    Amanda, I love you.

    I have loved this wacky, intense and amazing ride I’ve been on since I first saw you live last year at the Forum. I feel like I’ve come into your world at the perfect time because you are so accessible, so THERE for your fans. I have hugged you, I held your hand to support you as you sat at the edge of the stage at your last show of the official tour in Adelaide and told you you survived.

    You move me and inspire me in so many ways I can’t even count. You have brought me amazing friends and amazing musicians, you have changed me back into a gig-going person, back to the person I used to be when I was 18 and was friends with musicians. *sigh*

    You inspire me to be myself, to do crazy shit, to keep my hair bright pink and to wear rainbow eyeshadow.

    Thank you for being you. Thank you for Karina and Marianne and Ian and everyone else I have met in the last 3 months following you on this crazy tour completely unplanned. For the BBQ’s and the hugs and for pulling my fiancee’s beard but not kissing him ;)

    Have an amazing break. I look forward to webcasts and twitter fun, as always, but Australia misses you too, so much.

    Leish
    xoxo

    • insignifikunt

      you said it better than i could leish! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Siaci

    You are the Amazon Warrior of “Do What You Want and the Happiness Will Follow.”

    I want every one of my laid-off and underemployed artist and performing friends to read this post.

    You do more than perform, darling; you plant the seeds of happiness!

  • http://profiles.google.com/callahan.cara Cara Callahan

    Amanda Palmer Welcome back. Come have soft rolls at Cafe Zing! in the Porter Square Bookstore. Things have been strange of late and we’d love to make you a cup of tea.

  • Hiptothesmack

    Come back anytime! The Carriageworks gig was the most fun I’ve had in ages, even with the two hour train ride to get there :)

  • http://www.mariemeier.fr Marie Meier

    ah ah bill Bryson ! i love his books , always funny ….I LOVE YOU MR Bryson !

  • Imogen from NZ

    I also love Bryson and your review of his work- tangent heaven! May i recommend ‘The house of the spirits’ by Isabel Allende- it’s very full of life and love and beautiful and real- i think you’d like it. Imogen from NZ

  • Lee

    This particular Australian (newly Mebournian) has only seen you perform once (with Zoe Keating and the divine Meow Meow) and you were pretty fucking amazing. This blog post has made me realise what an unfortunate thing this is. You sound pretty fucking amazing.

  • Kelly Shea

    Welcome home, Amanda Fucking Gaiman Palmer. Take some deep breaths, try some nice shots of Cafe Patron, and bask in the brilliance of your past year. Glad to have you home. :) Sorry about the shitty weather. And, while you’re on break, start playing Qrank again and get them to fix the Facebook app. ;)

  • Drewzel

    I read this story –> http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/3485305/I-give-my-girl-8-Botox-for-pageant.html and then I read your blog post.
    Thank you for being you. x

  • RiverVox

    First of all, welcome back to Boston! There will be TULIPS soon. I promise.

    I’m glad that you are taking a break. I can’t believe you were doing Cabaret plus Late Night shows and THEN you went on a Dolls tour. Oh yes, and got married twice. (Mazel Tov!)

    My candle burns at both ends
    It will not last the night;
    But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends –
    It gives a lovely light. ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

    We need your light for at *least* 80 more years, so please rest and play and clean and BREATHE.

  • http://twitter.com/texistential Scary Θ Carrie

    You never fail to remind me of the people behind the art, and why we do what we do. Why we mustn’t give in when we aren’t as famous or as rich as Artist A. Thank you.

  • http://naturallydotty.wordpress.com Dragonsally

    Melbourne still feels strangely empty without you. This is weird, but it does.
    Don’t ever change – I love how you are with we, your people.

  • http://www.facebook.com/krystofer.robin Krystofer Robin

    The way I see it, you owe it to all of use to be true to you. You opened that door. You came into our safe little worlds, and gave us a fantastic gift. Yourself. If you keep running full tilt, doing what someone else wants, even if that someone is all of us, its not YOU anymore. We have enough US. We need more of YOU. So go be you. Do YOUR thing. YOUR thing is what has us collectively in love with you. I think I can speak for all of us when I say this; We love you enough to demand you be true to yourself, even if that means… less of you for us. Dammit, I swore I wasn’t going to cry….

  • Missysuebell

    This blog was boss. Thanks.

  • insignifikunt

    this is up there as one of my favourite blogs from you!

    i hope you actually do take a break — whatever that means to you.

    the byron photo — is there anyway i can get a copy of it?

  • Joliefreak

    You were wonderful at Tuxedo Cat here in Adelaide, we loved you, as always.

  • http://crimsong19.blogspot.com/ Crimsong19

    *applauds* Take a much deserved break, Amanda. You need it!

  • Meagan

    I can’t believe its been 11 years Amanda!!
    HOLY SHITTT!

    Welcome home. It’s time for a much needed rest.

    Much love from Texas.

  • Melanie

    Dear Amanda;
    I’m sure you’re more than fed up with hearing people tell you how inspiring you are, but I’m saying it. You seem to have the most sincere fun I’ve ever seen anyone manage, with the most fascinating people (you ought to be granted celebrity status for those two things alone) , and I personally wonder how it’s done, because I’m envious. This is the part where I ask for advice: HOW is it done? I’m not a musician or an artist, and thus do not have the usual openings into fascinating/ridiculous enclaves of people. On the other hand, I am a scientist, and thereby have a pretty limitless capacity/tolerance for brash and magnificently eccentric undertakings (mainly into swamps, so far, but I’m trying to be open minded about non-semi-aquatic environments), but all the other scientists seem very keen to do their work rather than go outside and bludgeon one another with large false weapons on sunny days, which is a shame. So this is my question: how can I join you and those like you, or those you like, who seem likeable? This isn’t a personal plea for friendship, given that such a thing would be wildly inappropriate (it’d be like expecting you as a blogger to be looking back through the screen at everyone who reads your blog, individually, although one can always hope…) but nobody else I’ve observed, directly in my life or outside of it, seems as well-qualified to give advice as you appear to be, so there’s that.
    Many thanks for reading this, if you do, and also for answering,
    Melanie

    • Melanie

      urp, meant “and also for answering, if you do.”

    • http://profiles.google.com/lisa.jack.10 Lisa Jack

      “but all the other scientists seem very keen to do their work rather than go outside and bludgeon one another with large false weapons on sunny days”.

      jugger.org.au

      Where a ridiculous proportion of the players are scientists (or other forms of nerd, geek, whatever).

      • Melanie

        That’s excellent! The only trouble is that I don’t live in Australia. =/

  • cat

    For what it’s worth, I love the mish-mash of Australia.

    Enjoy your break. You deserve it. (Just don’t be tooooo long.)

  • http://twitter.com/mrwilliamc William Cooper

    Hey Amanda, it is I, the ninja accordionist, William Cooper. Playing with you that afternoon (as well as again at the Melbourne BBQ) were the greatest moments of my life. You are one the greatest musicians and it was a proud moment to be there playing Point of it All as a drinking song. You really opened up my eyes to how I would love to be an accompanist./composer. Not only has The Jane Austen Argument allowed me into their music circle and allowing me to play with them, but YOU! my absolute idol! Please, relax, make love and spread art. You truly deserve it.

  • http://twitter.com/mrwilliamc William Cooper

    Hey Amanda, it is I, the ninja accordionist, William Cooper. Playing with you that afternoon (as well as again at the Melbourne BBQ) were the greatest moments of my life. You are one the greatest musicians and it was a proud moment to be there playing Point of it All as a drinking song. You really opened up my eyes to how I would love to be an accompanist./composer. Not only has The Jane Austen Argument allowed me into their music circle and allowing me to play with them, but YOU! my absolute idol! Please, relax, make love and spread art. You truly deserve it.

  • http://twitter.com/mrwilliamc William Cooper

    Hey Amanda, it is I, the ninja accordionist, William Cooper. Playing with you that afternoon (as well as again at the Melbourne BBQ) were the greatest moments of my life. You are one the greatest musicians and it was a proud moment to be there playing Point of it All as a drinking song. You really opened up my eyes to how I would love to be an accompanist./composer. Not only has The Jane Austen Argument allowed me into their music circle and allowing me to play with them, but YOU! my absolute idol! Please, relax, make love and spread art. You truly deserve it.

  • http://facebook.com/grainsintherain Vasily A.

    maybe it’s just me but this blog made me sort of sad… O_o
    anyway, welcome home :) and don’t forget to mention “Map Of Tasmania” remix contest sometime soon ;)
    take care.

  • http://www.echristopherclark.com/ E. Christopher Clark

    As always, your blogs calm the crazed, frustrated artist-writer-singer thing inside of me down. Thank you for that, and for everything you do. Hope the well-deserved break from craziness is a good one.

  • Michael

    Thank you Amanda. I will never forget the Frinja gig in Adelaide with you sitting on the box singing Creep, with myself and all the other ” weirdos” singing along in the cold. I’ve got it on the iPhone. Contemplating sharing it with the world on YouTube, but selfishly wanting to keep it for myself. The next night at Tuxedo Cat was good, but not quite as personal.

    Thank you for your music. Thank you for your honesty. And thank you for the kazoo for my daughter who brought along her home made Elephant Elephant to the Evelyn Evelyn gig. Thank you for the photo with her. Thank you for giving her a story to tell at “show and tell” at school ( where a bunch of 8 year olds said “who is Amanda Palmer?” I hope one day they will find out.

    See you next time, whenever that my be.

    • insignifikunt

      frinja! i love that!

    • http://www.facebook.com/freya.anna Freya Anna

      Wow I wish your daughter went to the school I worked at…I would have flipped if one of our kids did an Amanda Palmer ‘show and tell’….even our year 7’s (12 to 13 year olds) have no idea who Amanda Palmer is. I would have given your daughter a big gold star :)

  • Sarah

    lady, you are rockin’.

  • http://csdaley.wordpress.com/ Christopher

    Take the break you deserve it. I thought you might find it interesting to know that in a lot of ways you have inspired me to take the next step in my life. I love writing. I do it everyday. Creating worlds, writing blogs, shooting the bull on Twitter. Anything to play with words.

    Over the last few years I have begun to amass a lovely pile of rejection letters. Some were form and some were not. Some inspired me by saying, “not quite right for us.” Some punched holes in my heart. Through it all I kept writing because that is what I do. While this was happening I watched as the music world started going sideways and then the publishing industry. I have finally decided the days of being a self published writer being a bad thing are leaking away. I will be an independent. I will write what I want and publish what I think worthy and if no one buys it then I know. I am not good enough to make a living at it.

    I will be okay with that. I will keep writing for myself. At least I will know I didn’t let someone else control my fate. The first book now has a cover and is being formatted. Once the formatting is done I will upload it to all the ebook stores. Soon I will dive into the pool. I gave you a shout out in the book (don’t worry I put a hold harmless clause in it. Don’t want people blaming you for my crappy writing). My life, my rules, my art. You heaped me with this. I will forever be in your debt.

    Thank you.

  • Kd02

    Oh my god, you put blood and guts into everything you do, and you do it for no money. You do it for love. (In my own life, I can only compare it to motherhood… the exhausting madness that I do for free everyday… for love). But you are not “mother” to one kid, you have music/art/fans/ninja gigs/ etc.

    You have thousands and thousands of people who love you (the public you), and are inspired by you, and you rock our worlds. Yes, a little I sent you THE ONLY FAN LETTER I EVER SENT ANYONE… and I am not alone in this. (You probably didn’t get it, it’s cool, you have a lot going on.) Oh, and in the past month I can’t even tell you how many girls and boys I’ve seen in Doll’s t shirts and cabaret sweatshirts.

    Rest and recover. And now I need to look around your shop because I had no idea you were just barely out of the red… you give a lot, you should have enough money to pay the bills and buy new shoes.

    xoxoxo

  • http://vegga.wordpress.com/ Kelly

    I want to say something smart and insightful about this, but it’s 5:00 on a Friday and I’m freakin’ tired, so. Thanks for this. It’s lovely, and you’re lovely, and everything you do is lovely. Thanks for being you!

  • http://goodgravey.wordpress.com/ GoodGravey

    Thank you Amanda. I am a new convert after my darling wife introduced me. She became interested when she heard you were playing at Webstock in Wellington, NZ. I eagerly went to your ninja-gig in Civic Square. I had seen a ton of your performances on the web so was very keen. Particularly loved the cover of Creep.

    when I got to the square, and everyone started arriving, I remarked on how they were all the creeps and weirdos. All the people who never quite fit in with “normal” society. And my first amazingly strong thought was: “I’m home”. Wanna make sure people know I mean “creeps and weirdos” in the nicest possible way. Because I have always been one.

    Coming from a straight, middle-aged, white male with a pretty good job and income and very much part of the machine, it might seem strange, but oh so true. Coming from a position of extreme privilege, it might seem a little odd, but it comes from the soul.

    You are part of the reason why my activism has activated. I can’t sit back and let bad things happen without something being done. And I cannot let my extreme privilege stand.

    So thank you, Amanda. More than I can ever say.

  • laurieanne

    Welcome home, love. Enjoy your rest period.

  • Raftergirl1

    You’re amazing

  • http://alwayscoffee.wordpress.com/ Ali

    There is something about you that just resonates. When you talk about the vision you had for yourself at a young age — vs the reality of what you when. When you talk about needing a break to do things like read and clean — and have fun. When you share photos and have fangirl author moments (who hasn’t?). It’s so…real and down to earth.

    Whenever you’re playing a ninja gig (from what I’ve seen of pictures — I haven’t yet had the pleasure of seeing you perform. One of these days…), you look so damned happy. You’re full of this kind of inner light. And it rocks. A lot.

    Oh, and as far as normal people? I’m fairly sure they don’t exist. We’re all just varying degrees of strange and crazy. I’m mostly okay with that. ;-)

    Enjoy your time. Enjoy making your choices as they come, or deciding not to plan. It’s kind of brave and definitely awesome.

  • GottaGetOverGaga

    Amanda,

    We love you. So, you took some artistic risks. Would you have been inclined to do that at all if you weren’t an artist? You are an artist. You have made choices to be true to yourself as an artist. That comes with a cost. I’m so glad you chose to be true to yourself. Sure, the world has Lady Gagas. But, what would the world be if it didn’t have Amanda Palmers, too? I’d probably put both my eyes out.

    I’ve enjoyed your experimental stuff. Maybe it hasn’t lead to commercial fanfare but, who cares? A lot of it is outstanding stuff. Personally, I don’t know where I would be if it weren’t for Oasis.

    The Evelyn-Evelyn stuff was fun and there is truly some genius stuff there.
    You’re a smart girl. If you wanted the big time, you could have had it. You chose to stay true to your artistic vision. We’re all so glad you have, and adore you for it.

    Have a good rest. We congratulate you on everything you’ve accomplished so far, and will be waiting for all the rest to unfold.

    Love you.

    Us

  • Neechan

    =)

  • http://bemusedheroine.blogspot.com Amanda

    Go to it, AFP. Out of the blue and into the black. You don’t have to be Mick Jagger or Alice (in Wonderland), just be you. We’re all rooting for your fabulously brilliant and quirky ass :)

  • http://littlelioness.net Fiona

    Time.

  • KirraQ

    Dear Amanda,

    Please rest and take it easy! You not only deserve a break but probably really need one. In the wonderful country of Australia you would be due for ‘long service leave’ now, which is paid leave you get for 10 years work…so take some LSL (sorry it’s not really paid). We will still love you and your fabulous art. Plus don’t you have a husband now? You should spend a whole lot of time with him.

    KirraQ :)

  • http://twitter.com/Otterly_So Alice Richmond

    dear amanda,

    you make sense.

    sweet ease,
    alice

    (ô)v(ô)
    { }_{ }
    .!. .!.

  • http://twitter.com/Otterly_So Alice Richmond

    sorry. disqus hiccough.

  • http://neversaynikki.tumblr.com Nikki

    as someone about to enter college with absolutely no fucking idea whatsoever what she’s going to do with her life, i adore this. everything you do is real, and you don’t want to break that by forcing the production of something that wouldn’t be right in its own respect.

    i think that’s my ultimate goal. i don’t know what i want to do, or be, but it’d be nice to just not give a fuck about pleasing people all the time.

    when i was 7, i wanted to be britney spears.

    when i was 12, i wanted to be avril lavigne.

    more recently, i essentially wanted to be you.

    now i’m pretty sure i just want to be happy. but the last two are undoubtedly connected.

  • CeciTart

    I don’t know what you will think of this, but I do think it is something you should know. My 13 year old is like you at 11. With one huge exception. Her dream is to be like you. Since I first played your music for her two years ago she has become fascinated with everything you. She doesn’t want the yachts and glam and pop star life, she wants to travel like you do. Do ninja gigs. Meet people. Wear your clothes. And if we are to be completely honest, marry Neil Gaiman.

    I think that, and I can not know for sure without you saying so, that part of what the 11 year old you wanted had to be the admiration of other people. And yes you have a huge gaggle of fans that you are well aware of, but I just want you to know that you also have little girls who want to be you. And I have to say as her mother, it makes me quite proud that of the people she could look up to and want to be like, that you are it.

  • http://gabrielgrub.blogspot.com/ June_Miller

    But, Amanda

    The way you live your life, the way YOU promote YOURSELF without the aid of agents or a label, and have the freedom to get away with it, the good and the bad of your touring stories…

    Those are exactly what inspire me to to live a life similar to yours.

    Stuff like The Screaming Girl, and even that flashback you had about performing “Two-Headed Boy” to a near-empty sports bar, having them getting up and cheering right when you hit your last note (because their team got a homerun)…your vast adventures down under. That appeals to me more than being famous just to be famous. I want to be successful at what I do, but Gaga’s height of fame isn’t what I’m going for. You’re a fucking BAD-ASS for going through all the shit you’ve been through in your life, and your success is proof positive of it.

    Your success gives hope to those of us who just want to live free, fulfilling lives.

    Hey Amanda?

    A couple folks have been asking about my music–my music–lately, and I gave the honest response that I don’t know about it, at the moment. I’m assuming you just hear music in your head all the time. I don’t seem to. I have my emotions and words, words, words. And I use language to paint what I see. I love writing, but inside I don’t feel that’s the only thing I want to do to express myself and connect with people. I want to perform and emote as you do, along with my other musical heroes. They’re rather literary, the lot of you are. And my influences, they’re all over the place. If it were ever possible to have too many, I feel I’d be a case for it. (IS it possible to have too many influences?)

    One (very gifted) musician friend advised me to just play it out, just play out whatever I can. Then something..something will come up.

    I’ve made up a barely minute long piano bit, but I like how it sounds. And I can extend on it more, given the right motivation. I know it’s only me who can get my fucking shit together, on that one. I really want to–I just have to start believing that I need to, now.

    The only two things I’ve known purely my whole life, really, is writing and music. I just can’t see myself doing anything else in my life; I can’t see myself not being involved in either, somehow. And you definitely do inspire me in every way, surrounding that.

    Welcome home, madam. Be sure to breathe. Always breathe.

  • flesh-box

    You just absolutely blew me away this tour, Byron ninja gig, Byron and Brisbane.
    You always blow me away.
    It’s nice to hear you are having some you time.
    You’ve done in your life what we all dream to do in a life time.
    Love Megan (AKA flesh-box)

  • insignifikunt

    the difference between you and lady gaga is, you ARE amanda palmer and never claim to be anyone else. lady gaga is in fact stephanie G something or rather … she “failed” at a career in music so she became someone artificial to get where she is. she might believe in what she says but lady gaga is NOT REAL she is a character. you’ve always been you and everyone loves you for YOU, not a character that was manufactured but a bunch of suit wearing business types with maybe one real artist on their team. they are all about money money money and yes money is important but you seem to be about a hell of a lot more than that. you seem to be about the experience and people.

    i really suck at getting across what i mean but hopefully i got there.

    again i hope this very well deserved break gives you what you need and what you want!

    thank you for always doing so much more than you have to.
    xxxxx

  • http://www.facebook.com/freya.anna Freya Anna

    Thank you for giving so much of yourself to us here down in Australia. I loved your comment about a …”flimsy excuse to go back to brunswick street in Melbourne and get coffee”…I can relate to that. I live in Adelaide and take any opportunity to get over to Melbourne just to hang out at Brunswick street….the cafe’s, the people, the cool shops etc…it’s a special place.
    Thanks again for the all concerts at the Adelaide Fringe ‘you own show’, ‘evelyn evelyn show’ and the ‘ninja gig on the boxes’…what an amazing night, one I will always treasure forever…love you and Neil so much (please bring him to Adelaide next time) Thanks again :)

  • http://blissful-madness.com/ Cris

    Finally just got around to reading this, having seen everyone else tweeting about it. Unfortunately, at the moment, I have nothing more poignant to say than, “Wow… ”

    ‘Tis a strangely beautiful charmed life you lead, Amanda Palmer. I wish I could experience a little bit of that more regularly in my day-to-day!

  • deeza13666

    I have been a fan since the time of coin operated boy, my first gig was a Dresden Dolls show at the roundhouse in sydney with the red paintings and jason webley. I can still remember that whole night, even my husband was impressed. I love your music as it is so different to all the crap that gets played on mainstream radio, and I can connect with it and understand where you are coming from. The first time I heard Girl Anachronism, I thought this song sounds just like me, I was most certainly am an accident (adopted out from an unmarried mother who was 15) and you should see my car. I saw your gig at the Great Northern in Newcastle and I was so truly happy to have you here in my little home town. I really do hope that you will return to Newcastle again and maybe this time I will actually pluck up the courage to come and say hello. I even thought about trying to find you the next day, but then I thought that just sounds freaky and stalkerish so I didn’t. Oh well next time you come to Australia I will be at your show with bells on and hopefully I will get to say hello and not chicken out.

  • x_chemicalism_x

    I’m so happy that you’ve decided to take a break! Amanda – you are probably the hardest working woman (or person full stop) in music. You work too hard.

    Love from NZ xox

  • Meagan413

    I want to cash in my 401K & run away with you and people and the earth & ninjas and dragons & children. I wish you would do a ninja gig and let a “winning” (not in the Charlie Sheen fashion) fan decide a place for you to play in a magical, mystical world of love and fucking rare art. wherefore art thou Juliet?

  • Elizabeth Moore

    This blog made me teary-eyed. Especially when you were talking about when you were 11 and you thought that being rich and famous would mean happiness. I absolutely adore the fact that you are doing what makes YOU happy. Too many people worry about the small mundane things in life. I also love how close you are with your fans. It would be amazing to meet you one day.

  • Pingback: check it out()

  • Pingback: søg her()

  • Pingback: complete life wellness()

  • Pingback: Blue Coaster33()

  • Pingback: increase leptin()

  • Pingback: watch tv show episodes()

  • Pingback: watch movies online()

  • Pingback: watch movies online()

  • Pingback: stream movies()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: calendarial appleberry baboodom()

  • Pingback: kangen water()

  • Pingback: kangen water()

  • Pingback: 3gp mobile porn()

  • Pingback: car parking()

  • Pingback: car parking()

  • Pingback: laan penge nu uden renter()

  • Pingback: pay per day loans plan()

  • Pingback: pay day loans()

  • Pingback: electrician 10940()

  • Pingback: electricians augusta ga()

  • Pingback: locksmithing picks()

  • Pingback: b&l locksmith()

  • Pingback: full report()

  • Pingback: recommended you read()

  • Pingback: garcinia cambogia side effects()

  • Pingback: water ionizer plans()

  • Pingback: house blue()

  • Pingback: g style electricians()

  • Pingback: HD Coloring Pages()

  • Pingback: plan()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: alkaline water brands()

  • Pingback: water ionizer()

  • Pingback: loan payment plan()

  • Pingback: electricity()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()

  • Pingback: alkaline water()

  • Pingback: http://www.gov.im/tourism/disclaimer.gov?url=http://bit.ly/1OvaJul()

  • Pingback: http://makemoney.camkingz.com/()

  • Pingback: he has a good point()

  • Pingback: right here()

  • Pingback: ccn2785xdnwdc5bwedsj4wsndb()

  • Pingback: xcmwnv54ec8tnv5cev5jfdcnv5()

  • Pingback: 2xncq3tbooowtfb57wwc5m4tnt()

  • Pingback: cmv49wyn6vectn84wv5tect45fc5()

  • Pingback: xt5m8ct4ykwk7rdywx8t54w5ctxsdf()

  • Pingback: xm845wctfkdijtfdhskdsftrg83yrer()

  • Pingback: cm59x4ctxckw54mtdfsgw9j5nwmt()

  • Pingback: state farm health insurance quote()

  • Pingback: guitar picks()

  • Pingback: Ìîëîäåæêà 4 ñåçîí 18 ñåðèÿ()

  • Pingback: Greg Thmomson()

  • Pingback: gmail sign in()

  • Pingback: www.gmail.com login()

  • Pingback: all of craigslist()