2012.12.24_blog

yes virginia, we are all in this together

hola comrades.

i’m about to go out and spend christmas with neil at my parent’s house.

we’re being a hilarious married couple.

he claims that americans “don’t quite get christmas right”, and i tried to explain to him that in a country of immigrants, you’re bound to get more of a hodge-podge of random rituals as opposed to the more tightly-ritualized and “homogenized” results one might see in the UK (yes, i used the word “homogenized”… i know how to hit where it hurts).

we didn’t have a full-on fight about it, but in the high-drama soap-opera version of our life, i’d tearfully throw a dinner plate against the kitchen wall and scream “WELL JUST GET ON A PLANE TO LONDON AND GO TO FUCKING HARROD’S THEN”, and then he would purse his lips and reply “FINE I BLOODY DAMN WILL” as he stomps off to his man-cave blaring the BBC world service and booking the next virgin air ticket to das mutterland.

it’s definitely the holidays.

everybody gets homesick.

i’ve been having a hard time slowing down, but having to all of a sudden
be in one place
live in one place
get off the road
not have a huge professional goal
for the moment
for a while
is clearly going to be an adventure i’m going to have to face with open hands, it’s been a long time coming.

living with neil for the first time on top of all of this is also proving difficult.
my time with him has never been processing time, it’s been social time, and it remains like that.
when the holidays descend and the couple-obligations sky-rocket, it’s a perfect recipe for a stress-fest.

we’re dealing. i love him.

meanwhile.

i’ve also been feeling an immense amount of gratitude for you guys.

around the anthony issue in particular, but just….in general.

you may be a new-comer or a long-time supporter, but whoever you are and however long you’ve been here, i want to take a moment to simply say thank you.

thank you for reading.

thank you for sharing your stories.

i don’t care if you supported my kickstarter, i don’t care if you’ve ever ordered merchandise from me, i don’t care if you’ve NEVER EVEN HEARD A SINGLE SONG BY ME OR THE DRESDEN DOLLS.

if you’re here, reading this blog, you’re part of my life, and i’m really grateful.

more than you can know.

i’ve been feeling so strange lately, so lost and disoriented with all the things happening in my life and in the world.

this blog, and my twitter feed, are a touchstone. i find true connection with all you smart, compassionate people and sometimes i feel too lucky to have you…sometimes i feel like i owe you more than just words and music, sometimes i feel like i wish i could give you all the gift of this feeling….the ability to be able to sit down, write words, feel sorrow and articulate it and find, on the other side, minutes later, an entire army of intelligent, wise and empathetic ears and voices. it’s astounding.

time is fleeting.

oh, i know that all of you are going to write in with a chorus of how much you think i may have helped you, and maybe i have.
this is the point, we help each other.

but this time, just take a moment, and really know, deeply, how immensely i appreciate that you’re all there on the other side of this blog.

and give yourself a hug from me.

just take it.

just know.

i’d be a a very different person without you there, and i need to have said it.

i love you all.

wherever you may be, and with whatever
difficult family
or long-lost friends
or re-found enemies
or new-found randoms
or all-alone-meditating-with-a-bottle-of-wine-and-netflix
you are…

know that i’m there with you, grateful that you’re there.

this time of year ratchets up everybody’s anxiety levels, and there’s always a lot of intense things to face.
so may your next few days be filled with patience, compassion and joy in whatever form you most need it.

yes virginia, we are all in this together.

XXXX

afp.

p.s. next up, i’m going to post a blog about ALL THE THINGS YOU WILL NEED TO BRING and TO KNOW ABOUT DRESSING UP/PREPARING for the NEW YORK NEW YEAR’S EVE party. purple rain and prince is only a small part of it…we’re getting epic. there’s still tickets if you’ve been on the fence, the venue is a 3,000-seat MONSTER and there’s almost no chance we’re filling it. grab sequins and bring a posse.

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  • TripleFancy

    Just… <3

    Merry Christmas.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000441115783 Thelma Bee

    I WAS GOING TO SAY that I learn so much from you and I’m so grateful. But you read my mind there too. so I’ll just learn from that as well.

  • Daisy

    I really love you too, Amanda. I’ve never felt such a connection (maybe too intense a word but the meaning is there) with a musician as I do you. Thank you for being so open with your fans, and have a wonderful Christmas with your family. All my love, Daisy. Xxx

  • http://twitter.com/hunterlionheart Luke Southworth

    <3

  • Claudia in NZ

    have a wonderful christmas amanda! (and neil) and know that we all appreciate your love as you do ours :) my little sister got a ukulele for christmas, so it is my holiday mission to steal it and learn an amanda palmer song by sundown!

  • Kenny R

    Thanks Amanda… peace and love always… we are reading and sharing…

  • mink

    my girlfriend got one of your holiday cards for me. being high on cold medication at the time, she had no idea what she had you write until it arrived (she only knew she ordered it when she saw the receipt the next day).

    it was one of the best, most awesome things ive ever received. she loves me like no other- thank you for (unknowingly) becoming an expression of that love (and happy holidays!)

  • cyndaelle

    Thank you for being there for me as well. You are a part of my family and my heart even though we aren’t officially “Family” of really even “Friends”. May you and Neil and your parents have a very Merry Christmas and I will see you on New Year’s Eve. I expect a massive hug. I love you. <3 Nicole

  • Punxy Rose

    You’re an amazing, wonderful, inspiration. I’ve started believing in myself as an artist because of you, and reading this post made me smile so very much. I hope your holiday is wonderful, despite the stress and anxiety. Many thanks to you as well <3

  • Jennifer

    This post brought tears to my eyes. I’m a long-time lurker on your blog, but I’ve never commented. I lost my father to cancer in September and his birthday is tomorrow, Christmas. I hope it helps to know that so many of your readers/fans have walked the path, seen a loved one ill, put our lives on hold to offer what help we can. However difficult it gets, you can be certain you will never regret your choice to be there for your friend. Best wishes for the holidays, much love to you, try not to hit your darling hubby with a baseball bat :-)

  • http://twitter.com/discoverylover discoverylover

    More love from NZ – hope everyone’s holiday is magical.

  • http://twitter.com/secondmagpie Joy

    I admire you so much, Amanda. I’m playing ‘Theatre is Evil to my super-cool mother and she’s enjoying it very much – Merry non-homogenised Christmas.

  • http://www.facebook.com/paige.horst Paige Horst

    Change is hard. Love is hard. Marriage is hard. The holidays are hard. It will be better soon. Thank you for introducing me to Anthony’s book. My life is better for you and Neil and Anthony.

  • http://twitter.com/QefatHethert Hope Tway

    <3 <3 <3 All the love to you, Neil, and all of yours. We'll be here, and share the love. Always.

  • Susan Kellen

    Peace to you and your family. Christmas is just so stressful, I agree. Know that it, too, shall pass. That’s what I tell myself in order to not have a complete nervous breakdown. I’ve started organizing drawers, purse, etc., pretending the new year has already come.

  • http://www.facebook.com/samantha.dekle Samantha Shulamith Dekle

    This just made my whole day better. Thank YOU! <3

  • BasketCasey

    The last 2 cd’s I bought were yours. And the only album I ever purchased online from itunes was yours as well. Your music is pretty much the only music I listen to. Keep on trucking. Relationships are rough. Happy Age of Aquarius! It’s going to get better.

  • bookwyrm1025

    We all love you too Amanda. The wheel keeps turning and the love is one enormous, endless feedback loop of awesome

  • Rachel

    Thank you for your blog and for sharing yourself with the world. You consistantly move me and I’m certain you have changed my life for the better in so many ways that I won’t even attempt to list them. Love and Happy Christmas to you. ♥♡♥

  • Kelly Hagerty

    Someday, I know you’ll pay me back with a hug…. A really tight, squeezy hug! ♥

  • http://www.facebook.com/martin.ohare.35 Martin O’Hare

    thankyou for a great year amanda. i truly feel like we’ve done it together. you and us. your army. we love you lots and have enjoyed the live shows ,the art, the kickstarter, the hype, the outfits, and above all the music. enjoy your holidays. love to you neil your family anthony the band and everyon ur end. i personally will be at my parents in kent england, wearing my onesies and drinking gin.
    enjoy!! and happy new year.

  • Véronique

    Love to you both! And wishes for wonderful holiday time! You are a very special person.

  • http://twitter.com/exorcistasy Piper Shepherd

    Amanda, you have had such an interesting influence on my life for years now. This year especially, from traveling to OKC to have a chance to be a part of your music video project, to seeing you on tour, to dressing up as you during Halloween time, to making ukulele cover videos, to me buying my first ever VIP tickets just to have a chance to meet you before you blow our minds playing purple rain. I have a whole army of AFP lover friends, and they’re the greatest people around. You are my biggest hero, and you make me want to be more like myself all the time. I love you and happy holidays!

  • TylerJ. Yoder

    I was going to write about how you’ve saved my life on more than one occasion. You predicted that. Therefore, I will just send my love to you as well, and say thank you.

  • Guest

    “I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do
    not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/margie.matteson Margie Matteson

    We love you, Amanda!! Hugs and Merry Christmas and happy Solstice and Happy Monday to you and Neil from my whole AFP-loving family. {{{HUGS}}}

  • CeramicBullet

    We’re here because you already give us so much… You don’t owe us a damn thing Amanda :3 We should be thanking you more.

  • Chad West

    I am making Yorkshire Pudding, but tell Neil it will now be prepared in his honor. Much love to you both.

    Chad

    http://chaddywest.wordpress.com

  • Christine Dixon

    You’re the reason I’m getting a uke (It’s calling to me from beneath it’s wrappings – and it’s purple) as a 41 year old mam/mom/mummy. Now I can be utterly shite at 2 instruments instead of just one!! Have a fabulous-tastic chrimboil! P.S. Glasgow was a hoot – thanks x

  • TheEpigrammicPoultry

    “sometimes i feel like i wish i could give you all the gift of this feeling….the ability to be able to sit down, write words, feel sorrow and articulate it and find, on the other side, minutes later, an entire army of intelligent, wise and empathetic ears and voices.”

    But you already have? It’s called the Shadowbox. <3

  • Jenn

    Thank you for helping me get through this year. You and Neil have changed my life in more ways than I could describe. Thank you for being there for all of us in so many ways.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jo.tower Jo-el Tower

    You are just fuckin’ awesome and i believe you can do anything and get through anything…….I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!

  • Ashley

    Much love and much thanks.

  • trinaturner

    lovely message, as usual! we have been fans since our babe was five (she used to know all the words to bad day and coin-operated boy!), she is 12 now and we still follow your career and are always happy to see your face on fb. now we love your husband, too and have read several of his books together……merry merry to you and neil, keep on creating and inspiring this new generation of kids who need it more than ever!!

  • BonnieRamone

    Reading your blog always makes me feel so much better. That there’s someone else who gets it. Despite the stress, I really hope you two enjoy your Christmas. <3

  • Blackcherry

    I did give myself a hug,
    And i thought, i fucking love you. And i don’t know if it was me to you, amanda, or me to me, or you to me.

  • honneylove

    Much love to you, Lady! The world would be even more lost if not for you…tying us all tighter than a bright red package bow. You’ve brought me new friends, and closer to old friends. Time is not only fleeting, it is an illusion…especially when love is involved. P.S. – Played The Bed Song for my hubby. He’s held and snuggled me more than ever, and that is the greatest gift you havs given to me prrsonally.

  • http://www.facebook.com/amy.blatt Amy Blatt

    “I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”

  • Tnowion

    <3 <3 <3 <3 I just love you too, Amanda. You can hug me forever!

  • http://www.facebook.com/tom.mueller.9277 Tom Mueller

    I love you back. You make me feel, cry, and love the joys of life, in what ever form it is brought. May you have peace, and continue giving it to others. Always, Mister.

  • http://twitter.com/Kambrieldesign Kambriel

    Lots of cycles in life can be difficult ones, but love is perhaps the one most worth repeating. I’m wishing you, Neil, and all of your family (both blood & art) the merriest improper hodgepodge of a holiday. Expect a big purple-clad hug soon :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/malory.blue Malory X Blue

    Thank you, Amanda!

    Your art has helped me immensely over the years and I can’t imagine being on the other side of the screen. For years, I’ve sought refuge in your songs and Neil’s books. But, there is always the human side- the side so many people forget. It means a great deal to all of us that you share that side of yourself with the public. Personally, you are an inspiration in all of my artistic endeavors.

    I am truly grateful for that. I humbly accept the appreciation as a reader & fan and hope to pass some back to you. Give yourself a big hug from one girl anachronism to another.

    Hopefully the holiday settles down and you are able to just take a deep breath. When life is at it’s lowest, I’m always amazed at how much a long deep breath becomes like an elixir.

    Happy Holidays, Amanda. May you see kindness out there instead of cruelty and may the days grow easier. One day, it would be an honor to just be able to say thank you in person. Eventually. Until then, I’m sure your strength will persevere. We love you. Chin up! <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/kara.balicki Kara Balicki

    Love, HUGS and Peace!! I admire you for your art and doing what sings in YOUR heart!!

  • Iris de Vlam

    Love you Amanda. I’m happy that we as your fans can help you though, the same way you help us.. Xoxo Iris

  • Katja

    I love you. You are always in my heart. Have a merry, merry Christmas, Amanda.

  • Starry

    love

  • Sidders

    Have a wonderful Christmas.

    You make me feel that I have a family, you talk, laugh, cry but above all you tell us how you feel and help us to understand our own feelings.

    I saw you in Edinburgh this year but was too reserved to come up and say hallo, how I regret that.

    Have a happy new year

  • Amy

    Will be with you in spirit. I can’t imagine a better way to bring in the new year, but budget doesn’t allow a plane flight to NYC. Be purple for all of us.

    As for this marriage thing, you’re still newlyweds. And thankfully for you, you’re not 20-something like I was when I married the hub. You have life smarts already. Hub and I are at 22 years and we’re just starting to figure this thing out. There’s no rush. Just be together and love each other the best you can. Mostly, be kind. (I’m having a hard time imagining either of you NOT being kind, though….)

  • Jess

    I discovered you by accident via pandora this summer while listening to another Boston-based artist. Just want you to know you have infiltrated my life in the best way possible and I am obsessed with you being you.

  • Zia

    Thank you for being my first liberation. Hard to explain with the nature of cyber barriers, but your energy was a catalyst for the start of my freedom. Love xx xx xx

  • http://twitter.com/revsean revsean

    When life slows to a near standstill it is time to dive deep. Enjoy the ride. Thanks for bringing more honesty into the world. Happy Holidays. Wish I could be there on NYE more than you know.

  • http://twitter.com/lalalalauren87 lauren danger

    Thank YOU, Amanda. <3

  • Alex

    I love you, AFP. You’ve helped me through a lot, and ate a constant artistic guiding star, so thank you.

    Also, I’m trusting Neil’s opinion of both you and the American Christmas, I’m from ze mutterland after all! ;)

    Lots of love and positive thinking being sent your way.

    P.S – I bought Anthony’s book, loving it!

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniela.echeverry.10 Daniela Echeverry

    I love you so much, Amanda. You really are amazing. Thank you for your hug and for the spectacular music you gave me this year. I send you and Neil a huge hug. All my love.

  • ShitHouseChef

    <3

  • lola

    Dear Amanda, Thank you so much for sharing yourself and your art. You’re an inspiration… in so many ways! I don’t think you even know how much of a difference you make. Happy holidays and thanks for being.

  • Sarah

    One time, I actually made a physical list of good things in my life. Your music and tweets were on it, which is kind of weird, but whatever. You helped me love my body, rage clean effectively, bond with who is now one of my best friends, question my sexuality, and calm the fuck down via dancing. I love your work, and you’re one of my heroes. Merry Christmas!

    Love, Sarah
    /shameless fan letter.

  • http://www.facebook.com/stephanie.paes.7 Stéphanie Paes

    i’m receiving so many x-mas messages that i couldn’t even write my own yet. and they’re all so full of good wishes, good tips for life! what i wish for us all is the same a friend of mine did, after some recommendations: that we can live it all the whole year, every single day, and not only during these holidays.
    Happy holidays to you and all your family, Amanda. Happy holidays everyone here! That you can bring the christmas magic to your day-by-day life! :)

  • http://twitter.com/CoinOperatedGoi Andrew Ashley

    Merry Christmas Amanda. Cherish every moment, live, love and laugh.

  • http://twitter.com/balive2love Meagan Elizabeth

    I relate to feeling strange and disoriented and lost with a gallon of anxiety…I am an alien studying this crazy, beautiful, cock-eyed world. Thank you for your love and caring and sharing. *bubblebee hugs.
    LOVE GROWS <3

    *Strange Magic by ELO plays in the background.

    • http://twitter.com/balive2love Meagan Elizabeth

      *bubblebee the bumblebee. Hehehehehe <3

  • http://aaronjshay.net/ Aaron J. Shay

    Thank you and you’re welcome and gracias and de rien and bitte and everything else that needs to be said in every way it could.

  • Teri

    xx oo

  • ninjatink

    Quite simply, thank-you. <3 x

  • amy from germany

    *hugs back virtually* and I will do it in person when you return to Cologne next year ;)

    Merry Christmas to you and Neil and have a marvellous 2013. *fingers crossed*

  • Michele

    Thank you Amanda, for making me feel like I’m a part of something & for treating your fans like we are also your friends. Your blogs & music have helped me & so many others through some pretty tough times. I appreciate your openness & honesty, bearing your soul & allowing us all to laugh & cry right along with you. I fell in love with your music first, but who you are made me love you as a person as well. You are the most human ‘rock star’ I’ve ever encountered & I hope you never change in that respect. I wish you & Neil a very blessed Merry Christmas & I’m looking forward to ringing in the new year with you & all the wonderful new friends I will meet.

  • TomC

    Merry Christmas Amanda. Thank you for being inspiring, and normal, and imperfect, but I’m most thankful you are just you. Peace.

  • http://twitter.com/chapeskie Amy Chapeskie

    Oh Amanda, dear Amanda. You are so very welcome, my darling.

    I’m so glad that you know how much we love and appreciate you. Yup, I could write an epic post here explaining just how much you’ve effected my life and how you’ve reminded and inspired me to follow my creative passions and embrace the wilder, weirder, wonderfuler side of myself that screams for more truth, more noise, moar art and moar punk (cabaret)… but I won’t :) Instead, I will take a moment to listen to what you’re saying and cherish the space you’ve created for us all to be together now and all year round.

    Best wishes to you, Neil, Anthony and anyone else you

  • Todd Keaton

    Your music has meant the world to me & what i’m going thru and meeting you and the guys was the icing on the cake!! God bless you, Amanda, for all that you mean to the music industry and for what you mean to all of us!!! Not only are you a rock star but in the busy world of touring you still have time for hugs and kisses and pics for all of your “friends” I love you!!! <3 <3

  • http://www.facebook.com/hamsteronacid Anna Sophie Greiffenberg

    You rock !!!!!!!thank u amanda

  • Elliot Mendel

    I love that you share stories about everything. I idolize you, and at the same time enjoy the fact that you are still human like the rest of us.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=755559615 Xrictina Tolia

    Life can be a bitch , we’ve all been through difficult situations, and for some reason Christmas had always been there to make us feel somehow depressed, considering it’s one of the ”happiest” times of the yea, r let alone the end of it. Makes you think of all the things you haven’t done, of all the things you don’t have and of all the things you, somehow, are losing. I guess we can all take a moment and be happy about ourselves, not making any promises that the following year will be better, not raising our expectations. We are all just fine the way we are. We have people that love us. We can love people back. We can feel, and that’s what life’s about after all.

    Thank you Amanda, for being there for most of us. Keep on making people happy. I wish you happiness and no more suffering of any kind.

    Greetings from Greece.

  • http://twitter.com/designer_candy Jess

    Though I don’t always comment as often as I should, thank you, Amanda! Thank you for being you, for inspiring us, and being there. Much hugs and love to you! Have a great Christmas!

  • http://twitter.com/kuklagirl Shawna McD.

    Just before Theatre Is Evil was released, a lot of emotional shit came raining down on me, and has continued to do so. It’s been on almost constant rotation since then, you express a lot of what I am feeling, so it does me good to listen…repeatedly. It fills my heart with joy to hear you say we do you as much good as you and your music does for us. Love you tons and tons! Happy End of the Year Holidays to you, Neil, and everyone in your neck of the woods! <3

  • http://twitter.com/Isabel75 Isabel

    Thank you, Amanda. Thank you for being your awesome self. Best wishes to you and all your loved ones.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scott-Duval/1355264836 Scott Duval

    Merry Christmas Amanda and Neil.. I love you both and dont fight…have a great christmas both of you. Had a great party in marlborough ma over the weekend… shoulda invited you.

  • petponygirl

    And here I thought it was going to be just me and my dog all alone this Christmas while we live in our car. We will happily scoot over a bit to make room for you anytime, Amanda.

    Merry Happy Christmas Holidays to everyone out there!

    http://www.petponygirl.com/

  • aRationalist

    One of the best times of my life took place in a car, on a 6 hour late night drive home with my best friend from one of your WKAP shows. We spent the entire drive talking about how great the show was and singing along to WKAP and The Dresden Dolls. The show happened just before the two of us were planning on moving out of the apartment we shared, and soon after that she moved about 1,000 miles away for school. When I think about missing her, I think about you and your music and that drive home from your show when we had so much fucking fun together. You are very much apart of my life, her life, and our friendship, and I hope that you know how much you matter to all of your many fans. I wish you the best, and I will always be here listening to your music and reading your blog. Merry Christmas. I hope it’s stress-free and wonderful.

  • http://twitter.com/Chelseyblair Chelsey Blair

    Merry Christmas, Amanda!

  • Vallie in Portland

    *HUGS* I love you and Neil! I wish you both peace, love, happiness, and strength!

  • http://twitter.com/cherryfizzwhizz Sar-aaaghh H

    We are definitely all in this together, that’s my favourite part of the journey :) It must be very strange to go from hurtling around the globe at 100 mph to being fixed in one place; almost like a polar opposite to your living statue days? For all those days of standing still you make up for it by rocketing around non-stop? I don’t know..but like others have said on twitter being still and fixed may be scary because it gives you more time to think and reflect, but stopping to smell the roses makes it worthwhile in the end. what I do know is that I’d be celebrating with you and everyone in NY if I could! And I’m totally with you on the couple-obligations, could never stand them especially around this time of year and V day. It’s like you’re meant to go around waving your relationship like some sort of big banner to show people that you’re happy in coupledom, but when you’re truly happy there’s no need to impress anyone, through the ups and the downs it just is. But the amount of grandparents that say to me each christmas ‘so when are you going to make me a great grandmother/father then??’ makes me annoyed that to them getting married and having kids is the be all end all of life. I definitely don’t see it that way.
    Anyway, Always grateful for you too. truly. wishing love and light through the holidays and beyond x

  • Jones

    Im not going to tell you anything new about being in a relationship. But I can say that in alot of ways I can COMPLETELY relate to feeling odd in stillness and being annoyed over christmas with your spouse.

    I grew up in Gibraltar. Our traditions are a hotch potch of itali-genoes-spanglish. My husband is english (not as english as yours) but the queen’s speech must be observed after turkey with roast tatties, veg and the stodge that is figgy pudding. Presents open after breakfast, everyone watching one at a time and you have to read the bloody card outloud.

    My christmas experience is more spontaneous; we cook any and everything, eat, drink, laugh, presents open before breakfast …we clash. But we tell.each other – and if anyone heard us they’d think we hated each other.

    Example; tonight I made christmas almond cakes called ‘boleros’. They are spanglish cakes and nice to snack on. He didnt want me to make them and kept interrupting me with excuses … Eventually, the treats were baked. But they came out flat stuck to the tray. He jested “you could have made mince pies…” And the tray flew across the kitchen. And I called him a cunt.

    We laughed. He apologised in laughter and unstuck them from the tray. We ate them. They were awful. Now we are sat on the sofa and have agreed not to interfere in each others cooking and not to hurl trays at each other. And to be more sensitive of each others feelings.

    We argue all the time. Its the way we care about each other and its healthy beause couples who dont argue arent being true to each other. And they probably dont have a good sex life either.

    Moral of the story? Sometimes it ok to call your husband a cunt

  • Seb_a_stain

    I came to visit my family in Madison WI wearing the cranberry colored hoodie with the image of you as the Master of Ceremonies in Cabaret. My mom just told me that she hates it, it offends her and isn’t like xmas… I’m laughing it off, but there’s always been tension in my family around me and ‘my style’ or whatever. Thanks for being in this with me and for the hug. That felt Awesome. <3

  • http://twitter.com/LadyeOfBarr Leslie Gladney

    Relationships are amazing and wonderful and *work*. thank you for sharing yours with us and thank for the love. It helps, always, to know there is someone out there who loves you, even when you feel completely unlovable. I love you too, all of you, including the pointy bits that don’t fit nicely into a pretty package.

    Have an amazing holiday and performance, both of you.

  • ribenademon

    Hey Amanda,

    Thanks for all your music. I love it and listen for pleasure, but its also guaranteed when I am ill to make me feel safer.Just spent an hour listening to some of your songs instead of having a panic/anxiety attack because I couldn’t face going to the pub and seeing people I used to go to school with.

    Remember to give yourself a hug back.

    Best wishes and everything to you. :)

  • Guns’n’Gloria

    Dear Amanda,
    Sometimes it is the little things that get you.
    Madness takes its toll.

  • SpinningFaerie

    You make me cry. And you make my boyfriend cry. We have two young children and I think I may have a touch of the post-natal-wotsit, and you have been part of my therapy. Most importantly to me, though, you have been part of my boyfriend’s therapy, he is a big fan of yours and I bought tickets for him to see you at Manchester cathedral. I went with him and it was an epic gig! When you sang with us in the Cathedral Gardens it felt like you’d invited us around to your place for a sing song, and I can never again listen to ‘Creep’, your version or Radiohead’s, without hearing us all singing along. But watching my boyfriend all the way through, and listening to him telling people how epic it was, reminds me how you’re helping him, when I’m only making things harder. I really hope that everything works out for you and those around you. If having us here to read your blog helps, it’s the tiniest thing, but I know how the little things are the ones that make the most difference. We’re here for you, like you’re here for us.

    Have a fucking good Christmas! x

  • http://twitter.com/yarnandbeer Sarah Joyce

    http://yarnandbeer.tumblr.com/post/32647835103/anodetomyukulelehero
    After 2 months of trying to get this to you, it will make my Christmas if you finally see this! Lots of love from PA!!

  • David

    I CANNOT WAIT FOR NEW YEARS!!! And this blog certainly made me (and I’m sure thousands of others) feel special and connected. Thank you!!

    PS. I’ve always loved your handwriting

  • Arwen Xaverine

    Reaching this point of the year can feel like the out breath after a long time of breathing in. Let it go, find some peace. Give some love, get some back. I hope you find some joy. All love to you and yours.

  • http://naturallydotty.wordpress.com Dragonsally

    Lots of Christmas/festive season love to you, Neil and your family.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vermeilxsadness Alisha Rose

    Love u!!!! Always have and always will. So nice hearing (reading) you saying thank you. Yes holidays are obnoxious but we survive somehow w/ a smile on our face. Thanks to you I have an even bigger smile! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/vermeilxsadness Alisha Rose

    Love u!!!! Always have and always will. So nice hearing (reading) you saying thank you. Yes holidays are obnoxious but we survive somehow w/ a smile on our face. Thanks to you I have an even bigger smile! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

  • kmwilliams

    Metta bhavana, baby. x

  • kmwilliams

    Metta bhavana, baby. x

  • williame1964

    Merry Christmas Amanda, i hope you have great Holiday season.:-)

  • williame1964

    Merry Christmas Amanda, i hope you have great Holiday season.:-)

  • Susan Hazel

    Hey Lady.

    I’ve never actually written a letter like this, especially to a “famous person”. I actually went to the trouble of creating a Disqus account just to respond to this, so I hope it’s worth something.

    But I’ve fucked up a lot of years with my “spouse-partner-boyfriend…person” on this very topic. Not every day is perfect even now. But it all comes down to figuring out what you need for yourself, what you need from your partner, and both of you verbally asking (and not expecting) each other to do something/fill a need when you need it. I’m a writer living with a nuclear engineer. Artist vs. Practical. This does not happen by itself. You will need to both be patient enough to overcome your frustrations long enough to clarify what you feel and communicate those needs to each other–even if what you actually need really IS the other person to communicate those needs. And vice versa.

    In a nutshell, all you can both do, every day, is decide to get up and fight for your love for each other and your relationship. It is work. It is difficult. It is never, ever, ever easy. But don’t quit. You are both strong enough to do this. No one (except religious people) ever seems to say that, but it’s generally (and surprisingly) true. I can’t help you manage the “famous person/successful career/positive financial aspects” twist that you both are “lucky” enough to get to experience together. But those professional aspects carry over into your personal interaction. I have to stop myself every day to keep from biting his head off. Like I said. Work.

    It gets divorce-worthy during the holidays. Here’s what we ended up doing with family: While we both live a 12-hour drive from our families, which drive us both crazy, it is occasionally obligatory to visit on a semi-annual basis. We’ve been negotiating this territory for 13 years now, and the thing that keeps the peace most is this:

    1. Have a prescribed amount of time (number of days) that you will visit your primary relatives of interest.

    2. Make accommodations for extended family, but make it clear (gently, kindly, but firmly) that your visit time is limited, and you will be primarily lodged with the relatives in #1. Invite them to spend time with you, but do not let them pull you in multiple directions for an extended number of hours and days. You and your man have to be a team on this one, because otherwise, chaos will ensue, tempers will flare, and feelings will be hurt.

    3. If you each have individual friends in the location near #1, make it clear to your partner that you would like to spend some 1:1 time with the friend(s) to renew those friendships outside of the context of a ‘couple’. If you feel okay with inviting and including your partner, that’s fine, too. Just discuss the idea ahead of time (meaning, before you even leave for the trip) to assess each other’s feelings, express that you each need time apart to renew connections individually, and possibly build new ones in the process.

    4. Space. Once every 1-2 days for an hour or two, away from each other, to collect yourselves and have alone-time.

    5. Space back at home. Same as #4, but just to decompress and re-center.

    6. Decide that it’s okay to take a year off once in a while. Call it breathing space to establish your own traditions. That’s perfectly okay. And you should do this regardless.

    7. Ultimately, not just at the holidays, you have to find that balance between communication and being together, and having independent time and interests that continue to help you grow as individual people, so that you can continue to bring new-ness to your relationship. If you spend ALL time together, you over-expose yourselves to each other, and that leads to irritation. If you don’t spend enough time (due to your travel and careers)…well, like any friendship neglected, you grow apart. So find a way to create some space between you–new interests, kindle healthy friendships, take up a physical activity you can do solo–but remember to talk, even if it’s once every two or three days. This works when one of us is away on business, or he’s on night shift. It helps.

    I hope you can feel a little better. Just remember to be kind and fair to each other. Take care of yourselves.
    –SLH

    P.S. –Related to the idea of having solo time and trying new things: My friend Natalie happens to run a circus. There are carnies, bellydancers, silk aerialists, and fire performers. They have taught me more about love and scrappy endurance than any other group of people I’ve ever met. Anyway, they’re doing some shows called the Festival of Doom in January. Come on out if you need a break, need some space, and just want to be an anonymous spectator. There’s also a workshop at some point. They may do a bit of silk climbing, if you’re interested in that. Some of them just got engaged to each other, so they may also plan a circus wedding…On fire. http://www.alternacirque.com for more info.

  • Susan Hazel

    Hey Lady.

    I’ve never actually written a letter like this, especially to a “famous person”. I actually went to the trouble of creating a Disqus account just to respond to this, so I hope it’s worth something.

    But I’ve fucked up a lot of years with my “spouse-partner-boyfriend…person” on this very topic. Not every day is perfect even now. But it all comes down to figuring out what you need for yourself, what you need from your partner, and both of you verbally asking (and not expecting) each other to do something/fill a need when you need it. I’m a writer living with a nuclear engineer. Artist vs. Practical. This does not happen by itself. You will need to both be patient enough to overcome your frustrations long enough to clarify what you feel and communicate those needs to each other–even if what you actually need really IS the other person to communicate those needs. And vice versa.

    In a nutshell, all you can both do, every day, is decide to get up and fight for your love for each other and your relationship. It is work. It is difficult. It is never, ever, ever easy. But don’t quit. You are both strong enough to do this. No one (except religious people) ever seems to say that, but it’s generally (and surprisingly) true. I can’t help you manage the “famous person/successful career/positive financial aspects” twist that you both are “lucky” enough to get to experience together. But those professional aspects carry over into your personal interaction. I have to stop myself every day to keep from biting his head off. Like I said. Work.

    It gets divorce-worthy during the holidays. Here’s what we ended up doing with family: While we both live a 12-hour drive from our families, which drive us both crazy, it is occasionally obligatory to visit on a semi-annual basis. We’ve been negotiating this territory for 13 years now, and the thing that keeps the peace most is this:

    1. Have a prescribed amount of time (number of days) that you will visit your primary relatives of interest.

    2. Make accommodations for extended family, but make it clear (gently, kindly, but firmly) that your visit time is limited, and you will be primarily lodged with the relatives in #1. Invite them to spend time with you, but do not let them pull you in multiple directions for an extended number of hours and days. You and your man have to be a team on this one, because otherwise, chaos will ensue, tempers will flare, and feelings will be hurt.

    3. If you each have individual friends in the location near #1, make it clear to your partner that you would like to spend some 1:1 time with the friend(s) to renew those friendships outside of the context of a ‘couple’. If you feel okay with inviting and including your partner, that’s fine, too. Just discuss the idea ahead of time (meaning, before you even leave for the trip) to assess each other’s feelings, express that you each need time apart to renew connections individually, and possibly build new ones in the process.

    4. Space. Once every 1-2 days for an hour or two, away from each other, to collect yourselves and have alone-time.

    5. Space back at home. Same as #4, but just to decompress and re-center.

    6. Decide that it’s okay to take a year off once in a while. Call it breathing space to establish your own traditions. That’s perfectly okay. And you should do this regardless.

    7. Ultimately, not just at the holidays, you have to find that balance between communication and being together, and having independent time and interests that continue to help you grow as individual people, so that you can continue to bring new-ness to your relationship. If you spend ALL time together, you over-expose yourselves to each other, and that leads to irritation. If you don’t spend enough time (due to your travel and careers)…well, like any friendship neglected, you grow apart. So find a way to create some space between you–new interests, kindle healthy friendships, take up a physical activity you can do solo–but remember to talk, even if it’s once every two or three days. This works when one of us is away on business, or he’s on night shift. It helps.

    I hope you can feel a little better. Just remember to be kind and fair to each other. Take care of yourselves.
    –SLH

    P.S. –Related to the idea of having solo time and trying new things: My friend Natalie happens to run a circus. There are carnies, bellydancers, silk aerialists, and fire performers. They have taught me more about love and scrappy endurance than any other group of people I’ve ever met. Anyway, they’re doing some shows called the Festival of Doom in January. Come on out if you need a break, need some space, and just want to be an anonymous spectator. There’s also a workshop at some point. They may do a bit of silk climbing, if you’re interested in that. Some of them just got engaged to each other, so they may also plan a circus wedding…On fire. http://www.alternacirque.com for more info.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tom.mueller.9277 Tom Mueller

      Susan Hazel, your insight – had I learned it at an appropriate time – could have saved more than one of my relationships. If I’m lucky enough to gain another love interest, I hope to remember your caveats. They do not indicate selfishness; they are necessary to stay in a healthy relationship. Peace and Out.

    • watchmeboogie

      Yep, yep, all of this. Lots of other stuff to say later but right now need to thumbs-up this post.

  • Marionette26

    The one time I’ve ever had the honor to meet you, at the meet and greet at twist&shout in Denver in September, I said that you’d made my life so much better. I’m very rarely concise, and the only reason I was brief then was that I was so freaking tongue tied I could barely get anything out. But your music, as The Dresden Dolls and as Amanda Palmer has been my salvation more than once. And if I’d had the chance to be articulate, and if I thought gushing like a fan girl right now was appropriate, I would elaborate waaay too much. But this isn’t the time. I’m eternally greatful for you. But I’m so glad that your fanbase, the fanbase I’m honored to be a part of, has made your life better and has supported you. I’m so happy that you’re glad to have us, and I hope your fans can always be what you need.

    I love you. I hope, even with the stress, your holidays are absolutely amazing.

  • Laura

    I am grateful for you and your music and your blog and your love and your talent for making the world more beautiful. Have a fantastic Christmas. It will all be okay. Wonderful, in fact. I love you, Amanda Palmer.

  • http://twitter.com/Cara_1969 Cara

    Oooh, New relationship/marriage and the Christmas family marathon is a tough one. I feel your pained worries *hugs* Sending you calming and strengthening hang-in-there thoughts. Just keep in mind, it gets better and easier. Been married more than 20 years, made dinners for 20 persons using garden furnitures and borrowed plates out of pure desperation, while pretending everything is JUST FINE! Now I’m laid back enough to actually have fun during it all. Who knows, in 10 years’ time you might even enjoy it ;) Happy hollidays!*cheers*

  • Taexalia

    We have immigrants in the UK too, and we have people whose great-grandparents were the immigrants… and beyond… and there’s a bit of fantasy that suggests that all the UK only has one culture… and so the “homogenized” thing is just a bit of a cultural misunderstanding – which is pretty much a part of the journey of two people figuring out how to live together… and it doesn’t really matter who does Christmas what way – just love each other and have fun…

    mostly I’m writing because you once wrote on the t-shirt of my friend, and she can’t write anymore because she left us last year… and I want you to know that you made her smile and that meant a lot to all of us who knew her <3

  • http://c.apricio.us Nikki

    This time of year really does just slaughter the emotions, for both good and bad. I appreciate the fact that you actually open up and share that; it makes it a bit easier to see that anyone — anyone at all, for that matter — actually can say it. So often, we don’t show our vulnerabilities and feelings. I know that I generally don’t around this time of year; it’s especially difficult being so far from everything I’ve ever known.

  • Doug

    Trying to come up with something special to say but I believe The Beatles say it best, “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make” Namaste to you and Neil

  • http://twitter.com/FiftyFtQueenie 50 Ft Queenie

    So often, the things that bring us the most joy are also the things that we struggle with the most. Being married is a skill. It isn’t just something that happens to you, and learning how to make your marriage work can be a challenge at the best of times. And you have so much on your plate right now – Anthony, cancelling your world tour. Be gentle with yourself and with Neil, and remind him to be gentle with himself too. And you know what? In the middle of all this, you’re still reaching out to us, communicating with us, daring to be vulnerable, and in doing so, you’re fucking inspiring. Thank you for being you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lauren.keister.7 Lauren Keister

    We love you Amanda Fucking Palmer, much love from the great(?) state of OH <3

  • Marie-Anne

    thank you, you are unique and precious !

  • julianna

    wasn’t it john lennon who said that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans? it’s so easy to feel isolated or detached from the rest of the world because of everything going on, thank you for reminding me today that we are all connected & thank you for your music & neil for his wonderful stories, best wishes for 2013!

  • Jasmine

    And thank you for being you. And thank you for the hug (I needed it). ^_^
    Cheers!

  • uncle bear

    thank you. it’s been a bit rough and beautiful and painful and sweet. i am way new to you and the thing that draws me is your deep humanness. Yes, your music is fierce and compelling and…your heart is big and cracked and real. thank you.

  • poppyzombie

    is neil “cockney”?

  • http://twitter.com/_TeDiouS_ Tom Steiger

    When I first started following AFP I went to the shows alone, spoke to no one, and then went home. Now I routinely meet up with groups of friends I’ve met at past shows, invariably meet new friends, and usually go out after with friends old and new. The reason for this transformation is not me, and it’s not even Amanda – at least not directly. It’s because the AFP fan base is the friendliest, most accepting, and generally awesome group of people. Ever. Period.

    • watchmeboogie

      Hell yes to that! It’s really something.

  • Aggs

    Thanks, Amanda. You’ve made the holidays that much better for me, being apart from my fiancee for the holidays due to family traditions and what-not. Again, I have to say thank you! Your music and art have proven therapeutic throughout the past few years, and my fiancee and I could not be more grateful. We both wish you and Niel the absolute best and hope everything goes well for you in the new year. Again, thank you!

  • Megan D

    Madness (does indeed) take its toll. Stay sane! Love to you and Neil.

  • http://twitter.com/mataduvor Angelica

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Julio-Cesar-Magalhaes/1255977768 Julio Cesar Magalhaes

    well, now something who sounds like christmas with MY family. Jokes aside, hope you the best with the turkey and thanks for rebuilding my faith in well-written and performed pop music one more time in 2012. And come visit Brazil next time if you can! All Good to Ya And Your Family!

  • lentower

    ; – }}}

  • Jen

    Much love and thank you for being you, Amanda Fucking Palmer Gaimen!

  • RiverVox

    Thank you. I’m out here in upstate NY with my Mom. She’s in the early stages of Alzheimer’s (first time I’ve ever written that down) and doing Christmas is really, really hard for her. I’ve done all the shopping and most of the wrapping and she’s trying her best to help. She used to be a Christmas mastermind, giving gifts to all ages of our large extended family. Now, she’s helping put the bows on. As bad as this is, I know that next year will be worse. I’m trying to keep my spirits up and keep things as normal and joyful as possible for the kids. Your words and music are sustaining me. I’m drifting and dissociated but feel tethered by a ray of light that goes back to Boston, back to the city and the art community, back to you and Neil and out to my comrades around the world. I’m holding on to that web of light. Trying to punch a higher floor. Wishing you Love, Light & PIE!

    • watchmeboogie

      RiverVox, I’m so sorry to hear of your mom’s diagnosis. Sending love & strength.

      • RiverVox

        Thank you! Every bit helps.

  • Stasia

    Thank you. Much love.

  • miserichik

    Well, thanks for the hug. I met Neil many years ago during the run of Sandman, and he was one of the nicest gents I’d ever met. When I found your music, and realized you and he were an item, I was gobsmacked with how much luck I had. You both have helped me through some lonely times, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You will get through the holidays, as we all do, and your relationship will be stronger for it. :) XOX OXOXO OXOX.

  • Melisa

    Thanks! Hope your everything simmers down soon and you get some processing time. Everyone needs it. Happy holidays!

  • je

    <3 it's nice to hear that someone needs me :)

  • Klementine

    I wish I could come! I’d force my friends (who don’t even know your music) and we’d sparkle that place up so much you could barely look at us…but I can’t. Anyway. Thank you for remaining the same wonderful person we love you for being, and yes we know you’re flawed, like us, and we love you anyway. Enjoy Christmas.

  • JessieDuress

    Just remember, You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and gosh darnit, people like you! I hope you have a fantastic christmas!

  • http://twitter.com/riskofbeingfree Sarah

    So I don’t usually comment on your blogs, but I do read them and I do appreciate them. This time was special though, and I wanted to tell you.

    I love reading about your relationship with Neil, seeing your tweets to each other, and hearing what you say about each other. It resonates with me not just as a fan-ish thing, but because my partner and I have dealt with being long-distance since we met and knowing that two people can be together and love each other even when they can’t always be together physically, is very comforting. Much as we’d hated the distance, of course, we have a new challenge now – we just moved in together. We even spent a week with my family before Christmas (he went home for Christmas yesterday and will be back in a few days, a final compromise before we begin to spend holidays together), a week that turned out to be pretty difficult for him and made me worry because I have always hated the stereotype of couples who can’t get along with each other’s families. And, I don’t know. The time-spending is part of it – our time together has, as you said, always been social time, not processing time. A visit where we try to cram in as much as possible to take advantage of our time together – none of the slow, daily business of living. Now we have to learn to be, together. And your admission of challenges, while still retaining the priority of love. “We’re dealing. I love him.” That’s beautiful and it gives me hope – relationships are not perfect, as lovely as they may seem. But that’s okay. We deal, we love. And it is good.

  • K

    We love you too. Thank you for being amazing, Amanda. I can say for a certainty that there’d be less of the real me on display if I couldn’t see you, giving the whole world all you have, every day.

  • @boiAnachronism

    i wish i could be there…. i told Chad that too. partyontheinternet hint hint hint!! <3 <3 <3

  • JoJo:)

    Your honesty is so beautiful Amanda! Merry christmas to you and Neil.

  • Seph

    The world didn’t end the 21, but it is indeed changing…for good in the long term, what is going on now, is just growing pains. When I read you, and the comments you get on your blog and twitter, it is just so clear that for every person harming others out there, there’s at least a dozen of people wanting to help out and just give love to others.

    As others have already posted, if we are here, it is because you’ve given us more than enough. Some hours ago I handed the person I’m in love with a mixtape with songs, one of them the song that got us to know the other more, a Dresden Dolls song. The same song five years ago made me learn of your music, and ended up helping me getting out of a really bad spot. Today, I also received an ukelele as a christmas gift for myself.

    If it was for owing someone, it’d be me the one feeling I’m the one in debt.

    I don’t comment all that often on your blogs, but I read them all, It’s become an habit, better than reading the news headlines. My thoughts have been with you and your friend Anthony since you wrote about him. You’ve become a bigger part of my life than some of my relatives.

    You just get back the same you are giving to other. Thank you for being out there at the other side

    Merry christmas for you and Neil

  • Mia

    Thanks for the hug, hugging is awesome <3
    (The world would be a better place with more hugs)

  • http://twitter.com/tadjemiii Jesse Markham

    Love. :)

  • Bonnie

    Thank you for being a fabulous, strong, intelligent and intellectual woman. Thank you for being an inspiration. Thank you for your amazing music. Thank you for your messages of love, happiness, tolerance and wisdom. You are amazing. Thank you. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

  • watchmeboogie

    I tried to explain to my family last night what it is I love about you. After fumbling around for words, I came up with “She’s so open. It inspires me so much.” And then I got all verklempt so it must have been fairly accurate. There’s really a long list (literally – one of these months I’ll finish it and send it to you) of reasons you give me feels, but that pretty much encapsulates it.

    And I also love that you inspire openness in others – this two-way convo you have here of sharing and support. Sending you a really big fucking hug and a big lipstick kiss and as much love as you can stand. <3

  • Lotti Da

    Amanda Palmer you are my hero and inspiration. Not since Laurie Anderson came to my freshmen class in 1978 waiving her magic Big Science bow and making us all ‘performance artists,’ has anyone had such a profound impact on my life. I want to BE you when I grow-up and that is the highest compliment!

    You feed us, you nurture us, you go beyond yourself to a higher passion and your band goes right there with you. We all go on that elevator ride and become more in the moment. Long term, you change us in amazing profound ways, pushing us to MORE. The edges of the envelope are tattered by your existence.

    I have never met you personally but I am a better artist for knowing you and Chad and Michael and Jherek and Neil and Anthony. I am so much more for knowing your heart and you music, your pain and your love. It is an honor to be in love with you. (I am also in love with your drummer and husband but for different reasons) I will never stop loving you because love doesn’t stop. I will make art, for you, about you and to you until I am no longer here to make art.

    I am amazed at your ability to stand in the middle of this magnificent art tornado you have created and just be. Thank you for being the eye of the storm. Thank you for giving me so much of yourself. Thank you for letting me in.

  • http://www.facebook.com/hippie.braut Hippie Braut

    Dearest! I would love to share how you helped me out in November, how it made a differnce since I have been struggeling for about four years now. Please, how can I do that, I don’t wanna go too public yet.

  • Alex

    I could tell you in a thousand words how much you’ve changed my life since I started listening to your music as a teen, but I’ll just tell you this: I have problems with touching and being touched by people. It /physically/ hurts to be hugged, sometimes. When I met you after your gig in Zurich and you hugged me, I was so scared of what my reaction would be. Instead it was perfect, just as a hug would feel to someone “normal”, I felt so loved and at ease that sometimes I replay it in my head when I need to be at peace again. You change everything and everyone you touch and make it better, and I am so grateful for your existence. I wish you the best holidays and the best life imaginable. Be happy. xx

  • Guest

    Hello Amanada,
    for me, with this blog, you created a truely nice place to come, to be, to spend a moment before returning to our respective worlds, a little more concients of the others, through the diversity of the stories shared here, a little stronger thanks to this sharing. In our lives, with all that can happen around us, places like that are really precious. Et même si nous ne nous rencontrons pas physiquement les uns les autres, cela est aussi concret et chaleureux que si c’était le cas ! (sorry, I didn’t fine the good way to write it in english !). Have a sweet day.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dominique.angillis Dominique Angillis

    Hello
    Amanda,

    for me, with this blog, you created a truely nice place to come, to be,
    to spend a moment before returning to our respective worlds, a little
    more concients of the others, through the diversity of the stories
    shared here, a little stronger thanks to this sharing. In our lives,
    with all that can happen around us, places like that are really
    precious. Et même si nous ne nous rencontrons pas physiquement les uns
    les autres, cela est aussi concret et chaleureux que si c’était le cas !
    (sorry, I didn’t fine the good way to write it in english !). Have a
    sweet day.

  • NICKOLI frm SEATTLE

    merry christmas amanda, i love you and every moment you share with us thank you.

  • Anatriz

    Inside the most new version of hell, Rio de Janeiro ( i’m just talking about the weather), thanks for the hug. I needed that. Your blog gives me joy, and you and Neil are my dream couple. So smart, so talented. Brasil will love to see you! Kisses

  • Raven

    I got your card today. The fact you still took the time to send those out despite everything else that’s going on made me feel, in whatever order: guilty, humbled, massively appreciated. So thank you. Have a wonderful christmas and a great next year full of amazing adventures and insights and late nights and sunrises and fucking unicorns and rest assured we’re all out here and we’re here to stay.

  • http://twitter.com/Charlie_Rose_O Charlie Rose

    Merry Christmas Amanda xxxxxxxxx :]

  • http://gabrielgrub.blogspot.com/ June_Miller

    I spent Christmas Eve in one of my favorite cemeteries in my hometown (conveniently located directly across the street from my old high school, might I add), reconnecting with one of my oldest friends and speaking of love and compassion in the chilly winter night, basking in a bright half moon’s light as a blanket of clouds floated over it–spooky tree limbs silhouetted above us.

    I told her that the whole scenery is what the inside of my brain looks like.

    Dickens would’ve approved, I’d imagine.

    .

    My father and I are making the holiday feast, at the moment.

    .

    Merry Christmas, Amanda.

  • KirraQ

    Hugs to you too Amanda! Hope you hands good Christmas with Neil and your family. Here in Australia we have Christmas sorted – picnic in the park, playing cricket with a sunny 27 degrees! (I too have family in England doing the traditional thing, but I think ours was pretty tops!)
    P.S Every time I heard about your NYE party I get jealous! Go people!!!! Wish I could be there myself :)

  • http://twitter.com/MollyHalloran Molly Halloran

    Merry Christmas, Amanda. And thank YOU for everything. It makes my heart sing to think that in some tiny way I make a difference in your life, since you have made such huge waves in mine.
    My love to you and Neil, as always, and all the good energy, healing thoughts and love I can send to Anthony.

  • http://www.facebook.com/5rendrag Patrick Gardner

    Thank`s for that Amanda………………………………
    If there`s one thing common to everyone who contributes to your blogs,
    especially you Amanda, is that we know when someone cares and therefor believes in something and aspires to that personal code. I worry about you sometimes Amanda that you care to much !! We all owe it to ourselves to look after ourselves, if we don`t we burn ourselves out and end up no use to anyone !!!!
    Take care , take care all of you , we all depend on each other…..HAPPY NEW YEAR.

  • Jende

    I am at work, in France, depressed by the wonderful two days I have managed to spend woth (part of) my family (the first time since a while, it hasn’t been a tearful moment but a real moment of joy). And now I am back, at my work, working for a man that is a fraud,a crook… And I am reading your words, and feeling so, so much better, happy. Thank you Amanda. You’ve given me strength.

  • cynthiamachine

    “Time is fleeting” Amanda!!! Oh It’s my fault really. I know better. I get myself in trouble when I read your blogs at work. “Madness takes it’s toll” I read them when I get them for the most part. I feel bad if more than three pile on top before I open it. Now I’m going to do it to you. “It’s so dreamy, oh fantasy free me. So you can’t see me, no, not at all. In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention, well secluded, I see all.” Okay RiffRaff, bring us home.

    Kiddies all of these magnificent lyrics are taken from “Time Warp” which I am sure you are all well versed in and If that’s true, nothing has ever been the same.

    love, love, love
    ps my Virginia story. For like two solid years I kept it sharpied on my right hand. “Virginia” Great conversation starter and better way to get people to by the records. Most people thought I must have a kid. Hella no. Or homework. Not in the traditional sense. I worked in a hair salon so my hands had to be memorable. So my answer was, “I named my hand Virginia because when she say’s “yes” there is fair chance she will re think it to a “no” and when she say’s “no” there is a fair chance she is feeling coy and wants to tease you. Virginia will give it up, every time.
    I am a shameless hussy. My friends know this and rarely call me by any other name.

  • Daphne

    Dear lovely Amanda-

    Big hugs back. Last year I introduced your music to my darling beloved ex-husband, who is now my current boyfriend and live-in partner and who knows what all else, which is terribly confusing but ultimately wonderful. We were at your San Francisco show in September — it was glorious and we held you up as you surfed the crowd. It was a wonderful night and we were there together and we shined some love on you.

    If you were my neighbor I’d bring you some cake today, and a hug, and let you talk it all out. Since I’m not, I’m glad you can talk it all out here on the blog.

    Sending you and Neil some love — what goes around, comes around, and you both have given so much to the world. Gather up the love coming your way and hold it close as you navigate the unclear waters ahead, and know that you are buoyed by love in all ways.

  • Astro

    Hello – I’m one of the very late to the party new-comers. Somehow missed all your music up till last week – but upon hearing ‘The Killing Type’ had to investigate what else you had done and have spent a week so far listening to as much of your material and Dresden Dolls as I can (which you make wonderfully easy to do).

    Well I don’t think I have been touched and connected to any music or artist for decades. So I would just like to say you have my support and love and appreciation and also to say thank you for your art and commitment.

  • that one guy

    we’ve only just met, just now, on this page. And I want to say thank you in return. Thank you for acknowledging the second half of the relationship on your page.
    -that one guy

  • http://www.facebook.com/laureen.evans.7 Laureen Evans

    I wish I could be at your New Year’s Eve show, oh how I wish it, as does my Sweetie, but before we knew you were performing there and then, not so very far from our home in Watertown MA, we invited a bunch of awesome and beloved friends to our home for a party, and we can’t afford tix for all of them. But know that we will play your latest album at our party, and in our own non-literal way, will “Do It With a Rock Star”. LOVE you!!!!!!

  • http://coinoperatedbear.deviantart.com/ CoinOperatedBear

    I hope the holidays were awesome despite the craziness! *sends hugs, love and virtual cookies* :D

  • Gardiner

    That was the best hug I’ve gotten all week, Amanda. Thank you! I’m a long time listener of your music (I first discovered The Dresden Dolls during a rough patch in High School), and was able to see you live for the first time this fall in Boston. You are dreadfully dear to me. Thank you for being a positive influence in my life. Blessings.

  • vicky

    love from Thessaloniki.

  • Amanda in the UK

    having been introduced to you by my brother who is a tad obsessed, i am now obsessed too! I had booked tickets for him and me to see you at the roundhouse in london in march for his christmas pressie and yes I am sad its cancelled for now but fully understand why it is so and hope and pray that Anthony gets well again. we are going through a similar thing with our father and because we have been ill (colds) have not been able to spend valuable time with him over christmas for fear of making him even sicker as the chemo has his body at an all time low right now. So grab every precious moment that you can, there is nothing in the world more important than those you love. l look forward to seeing you in all your fabulousness in the future xx

  • Guest

    I’m a long-time, long-term fan who just bought her first house. This is just the beginning.

  • willowkay

    had a really rough night and this made me smile.

  • Sly

    I don’t know, Amanda “Fucking” Palmer. (It’d be too weird to call you just “Amanda”. Even though I know that’s your name, you don’t seem like an “Amanda” to me.) I feel as if if I were dead your life wouldn’t be affected.  

    And give myself a hug for you? HOW ABOUT I KISSED YOUR LIPS ON THE CHRISTMAS CARD??? 
    Except I really didn’t. But I thought long and hard about it. But I don’t want to taint your lips with mine. I’d rather it be a nice preserve of yours. 

    You’ve helped me. But you’ve also hurt me. I’m confused more than ever. Just about myself and life in general. And that I don’t know where the fuck to go or what the fuck to do and I’m at a great loss. But with confusion I hope comes clarity soon. 

    “don’t try and be a great man, just be a man. And let history make its judgements” 

    I’m trying to take life easy. 
    Not worry. 
    Just live. 
    But it’s difficult. 
    I don’t really know how to just be. How to just be a human living. 
    I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what I don’t want. All I know anymore is that I know nothing. 

    i am a human being
    but i want to be a human living

    I’m not really sure what this has to do with your blog anymore. I really did have a point somewhere. But along the way I rambled. And I apologize. 

    Ah I remember the joke I wanted to make. It’s like what do you get the girl for Christmas who hit a million on kickstarter? Where do you go with your career when you hit a million on kickstarter? 

    You know it’s funny, my sister and I have this on going joke about “Amanda Palmer famous”. Because she didn’t believe you were famous until I proved it to her. But as famous as you are it is pretty insane to me that nobody knows you. So it’s “okay is so-and-so Really Famous or are they Amanda Palmer famous?” 

    So you hit a million on kickstarter which everyone can’t stop talking about but nobody knows about. The only way anybody ever knows who you are is if I name drop The Dresden Dolls. 

    You know? The succession of how I know your music and you is broken and it really makes me sad. 

    I found out about you through Eliza Rickman. Not that I know her personally or anything. I’m freaking in love with her music, and she posted that she was in an Evelyn Evelyn video, I believe the Elephant one. (…i believe…i fucking KNOW…sometimes i dont know why i lie through diction) And I was just like, holy shit, this is hilarious, amazing, and crazy insane. For a split second there, I thought it was real. That there were these conjoined twins playing music. Upon further research I was then immersed into the Dolls and AFP and so much more. 

    Cut back to sixth grade and my best friend making me listen to Coin Operated boy in class on his phone (WE WERE REBELS!) and me thinking it was weird but cool but not knowing who sang the song or what song it was. I lost it forever. Obviously though, I’ve found you. 

    There’s the two ties to you. But I’ve lost to how I found out about Eliza Rickman so my line is lost. And it bums me out. A great deal for some reason.

    Literally every other musician/artist/writer/band/director/whatever you want to name I can tell you the ties that bind me to that artist. 

    But the fact that you/Eliza have sprung a new blossom in my life of a new vein, a new branch, a new root, to new music…art….everything has made me realize what a…….driving?…force you are in my life. I’m not sure of the correct word. I can also tell that i am in love with you by the times I’ve seen you live. 

    zero. 

    It takes me years to see my favorite bands and I don’t know why but it seems to always happen that way. 

    I hope you and Anthony are doing well. All my loves and heart flutters are going your way…

    I wish I could give you a real hug. Sometimes Internet hugs don’t suffice, and I think we could both really benefit from it. Some mutual symbiosis shit 

    stay brave, lovely. 
    xx.

  • Diamondflame

    Hang on in there, my dear.
    The truth resists simplicity
    This, too, will pass.

  • http://twitter.com/Almahart chrissy

    Thank you, Amanda. I’m crying while typing this and really needed to read this right now. It feels so trite to say ‘I was feeling so alone until I read that you were right here with me’ but it’s the honest fucking truth. Thank you for loving us, and for telling us at what seems like some divine perfect moment when we need it the most. For always telling us. You may be my favorite artist, but this is also one of the reasons you are one of my favorite human beings.
    I can’t make it to NYE because I now live in Ca. All of my family is on the east coast and I haven’t seen them in 2.5 years. So, I’m sending my brother and MOM to see you at Terminal 5. That is the one thing getting me through the holiday season. Separate, but together through AFP love. Happy New Year, Amanda! Much love. If possible, hug my mom for me :’)

  • Ang

    Aw what a touching blog post x Seeing the Grand Theft Orchestra in Manchester Catherdral was THE highlight of 2012 for me and my friend, I gave a gift to the merch stand for the band and I don’t know if you ever did get it, it’s no biggie if you didn’t, but I sometimes get excited imagining that you did and that I made you guys smile in return. x Merry Christmas and Happy New Year Amanda and Everyone!

  • http://twitter.com/kimberodriguez Kim Rodriguez

    Started out a devout reader of Gaiman and through him I have become entranced by you! Love to you both. Thank you. Looking forward to NYE!

  • insignifikunt

    thank you for YOUR message in my card… it means so much,

    i have such a conflicted relationship with life right now and if it weren’t for people such as yourself, it’d be so fucking easy to give up. thank you for making it harder,

    x

  • http://www.facebook.com/damnitallthegoodnamesaretaken Scott Wells

    Amanda you are such a major part of my life, you affect me more than you’ll ever know (and how could you with so many fans!). My biggest regret of the year is missing out on a chance to have a picture taken with you and Neil at the SF Kickstarter appreciation party and having you sign the copy of The Gas We Pass that I received in my packet (it was a long day and i was extremely tired). But that book is now safe and sound (along with your cd and record wonderfulness) in a box in my deceased mothers basement, awaiting my return from a new adventure I’m embarking on, to live in Istanbul and hopefully teach a Turk or 2 English. While I’m gone, my copy of The Bedsong Book will arrive at my previous residence and I’m making arrangements for that to be delivered to my friend Whitney’s house (who you stayed with while in SF) as a gift to the gifted present. You are awesome. You give me hope for the future of music and humanity and I hope that your friend gets well and that you continue to bless the world with your awesome performances. I love you without having actually met you.

    Scott aka Triple X

  • hideouse

    Thank you Amanda for sharing your self for me.