Screen Shot 2016-02-26 at 10.31.57 AM

like spinning plates, screaming vagazzles

a couple things before i forget: you have 14 hours to order merch in time for xmas from post-war trade. including uber-groovy things like a card made out with any message you want, signed by me. do it.

also: i’m in SPIN magazine this month. there’s a four page spread with me & patton oswalt talking about music. it’s FUCKIGN HILARIOUS. go down to your local bookstorething and buy it, it’s (gasp) not online….but it looks kinda like this:



sitting alone in the apartment, feeling like air.
not cold air nor hot air, not blank air, not empty, just – calm in the storm.

superkate, my fucking amazing new assistant, has been in town for a few days and we’ve been doing marathon work parties.
(a count just now – for curiosity’s sake – tells me that i’ve sent 216 emails in the last two days).

setting up the australian tour, releasing tristan’s record, releasing the single, dealing with trying to be a boss to #teamchaos as about 150 flying parts whiz about the room, and also fielding the general daily grind with the holidays on top has been…enlightening. every day, i let go a little bit more of the shit i cannot get to. zen palace over here.

beth’s been doing the best she can to do the work of an entire merchandising factory, shipping dock, accounting department, and design department, and lots of people (almost exclusively via twitter) have been answering her desperate calls for help with moving shit up stairs due to a broken brooklyn elevator. yes, this is the punk rock way, my friends. shit breaks. ask for help.

i feel like less of a person when i work 8-hour email days.

i told kate, on our dinner break last night: i lose all my romance.

i really do. i get completely focused on clearing shit out and getting fucking shit done, and it’s really interesting to see what happens when love intrudes, when neil calls.
i can watch the inside of my head, which has been in evil-take-no -prisinors-work-mode, saying WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS FUCKING PHONE CALL AND HOW CAN YOU MAKE IT AS CLEAR CONCISE AND AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE, which is how i feel on most business phone calls.
i imagine that this is what many object-and-goal-oriented men feel when women complain that they don’t want to “talk”.
and then it only takes me a second to breathe and remember that nothing matters very much, and that i love him, and that he doesn’t deserve to be on the other end of a manic office clerk. and i find myself again.

sometimes i look back at all the years of doing insane self-everything for the dresden dolls and think: i used to not be able to stop.and it’s no wonder i couldn’t even consider holding down a real, committed lover. i used to just attack life and all of my relationships with a machete.

sometimes i hate that it worked.

because it did work. my band got famous. the hard work and touring was insane, but it bore fruit in the form of real success all over the world. and?

sometimes i’m glad i don’t have to see the person i was – i was so unable to sit and absorb because i was too fucking focused on The Thing only. i still turn into that person, especially when things get too busy. yoga saved me. it kept my soul intact. it was the one pounding door reminder that the story i was caught up in was completely imagined. year by year i practiced the art of letting go and i think the art of letting go was what made things work in the long run. i never resented it when things went wrong, not for very long. and i never expected anything more than to make a living.

possibly unrelated (your call) here’s a cloud in the shape of a map of tasmania that steven’s friend sent from her phone….
meanwhile….jesus. my place is a FUCKING MESS. i haven’t even left for tour yet and i’m already exhausted. am i getting old, or is it just bad timing?

there’s a beauty in the fucking mess, though. shit’s getting sorted. gifts are being jettisoned to different parts of the globe.
i spend my time alternately thinking about whether the publicist is up to speed, whether i should finally open those letters, and what would be a good purpose for the photo someone sent me of a really old woman listening to me on the internet is. duh – i shall simply throw it on the blog.



(photo by becka lee, of her grandmother listening to “the truth” after hearing me on NPR)

i feel like this photo seriously says it all.

my “map of tasmania” single has ONLY been released in two ways: on this blog and via twitter.
that’s it.
and thousands of people have heard it (and more to the business point, donated money to download it….BY CHOICE).
i rely solely on their personal recommendations to others. it’s so simple. we are, literally, the media.

wikileaks, the power of twitter, watching what’s been happening with the BBC, talking with my housemate geeta the other night i was reminded to be in awe of how FAST shit has changed.
(read her blog, by the way, she’s a fantastic voice in journalism and her brian eno book is blazing on the charts, i highly recommend it:

here we are. let’s do it.

so….i promised you VIDEO TEASERS.

here are some amazing shots from the video shoot of “map of tasmania”, it’s hard not to give too much away.
we get to see pope’s rough cut on tuesday. it’s like christmas. wait, it is christmas. fuck it…whatever.

me and guy, the night before the shoot, making up the choreography for the dance.

guy was in cabaret with me (he played “louie”, the SHY one). he’s AMAZING:


(photo credit – @HayleyFiasco)

this is pope talking with and zea barker, my old housemate and the wardrobe coordinator for the shoot.

they’re deciding what people should wear out of the shit i brought from my apartment on the train…

the whole video was shot in pope/james’ apartment in brooklyn.

people, waiting patiently….

casey long, working on the signature AFP merkin….

a group shot of the dance party extras….


photo by stav meishar

i won’t TELL you what these are…..
“the scream”
but this? this is an 8 yr old. (in reality….he’s nine. i promised i would clarify….proof.)
here is me, talking on the phone with neil during a short shooting break.


i wish he could have seen what he was talking to. (photo by desi)

kyle cassidy….master of photo. i love this one….

through the lights…
eugene…busting moves….
and the same dope kid blowing minds outside on the sidewalk….

the whole fuckin’ dance crew…..





here is my fucking arm all chaffed from bling, post shoot:

more amazing shots on kyle’s flickr: KYLE CASSIDY’S FLICKR…..



thank you for all your comments lately.

there’s obviously a whole discussion we obviously need to have, about hair.
i’ve been meaning to have it forever.


p.s. I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS VIDEO. end of story. ok i shut up. and sleep. go get the song, by the way:

p.p.s. unrelated (sort of), but i fucking love this art that just came in…


by @angelredflame, based on a photo by ron nordin…
for all y’all folks on twitter who dig the #AFPart, make sure you’re following the new profile: @AFPart

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  • Ayala

    The place where you shot the video looks to me like disneyland. Like everything is possible there. And the pictures of you talking on the phone and some of the others are absolutly gorgeous. I always feel the need to thank you for sharing beautiful things. <3

  • Berthablue

    The Spin article was great! So excited to see it in my mailbox earlier this week :) And Map of Tasmania… I love it SO much! I just want to play it on repeat over and over and over again (like I’ve been doing).

  • Corinne Vizconde

    I miss that day/night. It was SO much fun. I cannot WAIT to see the final cut!

    • PolitelyOffend

      Same here! It was so so so much fun, and I loved meeting everyone :)

  • MattKish

    Dear Ms. Amanda Palmer,

    I just felt like I needed to tell you: I fucking love you. Every time I read one of your blogs, I feel like I’m talking to someone, a real human being, who feels and works and does crazy shit, and is REAL. It’s really profound in a lot of ways.

    Also, you have this odd way of explaining and personifying all of my strange little impulses and ideas about life and love and meaning. Take for instance, the lines: “They don’t know that we are the media/They don’t know that we start the mania.” Those lines fucking EMBODY my entire view on life. Like, that’s stuff I’d get tattooed on my body kind of embody. I’ve always felt that everything’s about taking charge and being the ‘mania.’ Gandhi said be the change you wish to see. I feel like too many people don’t understand they have fucking POWER. That they can change their life. That everything is fluctuating, nothing is solid, and since that’s the case, you can do most anything you want. It’s fucking beautiful.

    You help me express and celebrate that.

    Anyway, that may have been longer than I intended, but I feel that I got my point across. So I’d like to say thank you, thank you, thank you, fucking THANK YOU. You’re an amazing and powerful woman, and every time you put out a new song, or a new blog, or tweet a picture, I get all giddy and happy, like I’m meeting a close friend all over again. You’ve helped me so fucking much. Thank you.



    • John Coons

      “Every time I read one of your blogs, I feel like I’m talking to someone, a real human being, who feels and works and does crazy shit, and is REAL. It’s really profound in a lot of ways.”


      Props for using the word “merkin.” As an actor, trying to explain merkins to people is often the highlight of a conversation.

  • theresamo

    YES, HAIR. All my life, with one exception, I’d been au naturale. One time though, I was designing this metal Frank Frazetta-style bikini, but couldn’t afford to wax. I just plucked, bringing my pube patch down to a nice, rounded, petite fluff, with carefully faded edges. Once my skin calmed down, it looked and felt INCREDIBLY sexy. Best of all, it never itched like a motherfucker, like my ONE time shaving experience.

    Don’t know why I shared that, but, well, pubes are great.

    SO excited to see this video….

  • Clifford Lynch

    I knew there was a reason I stayed up later than usual. I was subconsciously waiting for this blog post! Now I can sleep soundly. :-)

  • Caz

    Vagazzles? Please tell me this is what happens when a bedazzler meets a murkin. There’s got to be a market for this.

  • wayne quirion

    You girl are amazing, keeping yourself together in this storm of madness, well let’s just say, you are amazing!!! By the way I hope you know what you have done, lol, with this new single and soon new album, you are going to be a household name, I hope you have given even at least a minute to take in what that really means. I think it is going to hit you when you are on Ellen talking about bush, but I digress, just wanted to say, HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY! Please don’t forget Maine, whenever some one gets big they never come back to Maine, please don’t do that. Other than that, see you at the Grammy’s, watch, I had a dream about it, so I know it is going to be real, I have a gift, just watch. Oh and make sure you find a few precious moments for Neil, you will regret it if you don’t, peace and love to all of the AFP Nation, let’s make this happen!!!!!

  • wayne quirion

    Oh, I forgot, Beth you are amazing also, I can’t beleieve the work you do, you are great, you also have a HAPPY HOLIDAY, and take a few moments to yourself here and there, peace and love to you also.

  • feeblemind

    Amanda, a friend of mine sings in an all-female student choir and she REALLY REALLY wants to sing “Evelyn Evelyn” with them – the only thing is – there is no score. Someone should make one for an all-female choir so they can sing it. My question is: could you help me out with that? Maybe you know someone who could write that score? I’m sorry to intrude on your time like this but I thought you might also like the idea…

    • Amanda Palmer

      that;s something i couldn’t even do if i wanted to take the time, and the sheet music doesn’t exist…but it’s pretty easy to figure out by ear….and you have the twins blessing, for sure.

      • feeblemind

        OK, thanks for your reply.. I guess she’ll have to convince their musical director to work it out themselves then :) I’ll keep you updated if anything happens.

        • Eric Davies

          The hard part is getting the piano part down. Everything beyond that is really easy, even if you wanted to put the accordion/string parts into voice (which I think would be really cool, and a good way to make it interesting for the choir, and to fill it out in the higher register).

          I would be willing to do it if I knew something would come of it. Hit me up on Twitter (iamed2) or email (iamed2 [at] gmail [dot] com) if you’re interested.

  • Sarah Waller

    Everything Kyle photographs seems to turn to gold.

  • Corinne Vizconde

    Also, YAY! my rope! I loved meeting you. You are an amazing woman with amazing energy. You manage to create this microcosm of creative awesomeness, which is absolutely infectious (in the good way). I am so happy to have been a part of something to create awesome art. (i wish I had other words to use besides awesome and amazing) I cannot wait for the video to come out and spread more ‘Map of Tasmania’ love to everyone!

  • Angelredflame


    The video looks like it’s going to be fucking fantastic. I’m super excited to see a bunch of vag all dressed in formal attire. Also, the love-love going on between you and Neil is disgustingly sweet. Never stop.

    I was super surprised to see my drawing featured at the bottom of this blog. I drew it because I love ya. I have been a fan of yours for ages, and to know that you’re a real human being on the other side of these words, that music, and those photographs.. it’s a really, really great thing. Thank you so much for being YOU, and for being wonderful. Expect to see lots more art from me soon. (It’s the least I can do after I downloaded Map of Tasmania and I Will Follow You Into the Dark for free..)


    • Angelredflame

      Also, forgot to mention, I did a version with highlights: just in case you wanted to see. Also, you can feel free to use this, as well as any art I make of AFP/TheDDs, for whatever you want. Jus’ sayin’.

  • E. Christopher Clark

    Just wanted to say that your blog always manages to rescue me from the midst of insane days. When I hit the pause button on the craziness for a moment and sit down to read your words, I always come out a little bit bit saner and calmer on the other side. So, thanks.

  • AloneOnASeeSaw

    “We are the media”– AFP, Wikileaks, DN! with Amy Goodman, Citizen Radio. This is where my money happily went for Christmas. I love the internet.

  • tor

    on a tangential note, went to see mr webley’s accordian and bought three lovely cds, but now feel guilty as one was evelynevelyn which i could have bought from postwartrade in the lovely bundle but perhaps now i will buy a hoodie instead, or maybe a t shirt or eye-glitterage it’s just confusing, there are too many choices and i want i want i …want them all! in any case you will have to hit JW-evelyn up for your half of the proceeds of said cd, but wondering how you split proceeds tho none of my biz, so i will just say i love my new evelyevelyn cd and the chianti puppets make me want to make my own like breadandcircus so i can play live punch and judy in the park or dress as a night mummer for solstice tho it is raining here rainrainrain (which you will say is better than sleet and slush snowsnowsnow, but i beg to differ having lived in VT i like snow better, just not the cold) but if one is warm inside and listening (to AFP) then certainly the snow could be glistening…

  • svenny

    afp merkin’s would make fantastic christmas gifts…

  • lolaarennt

    Amanda, I’ve been your loyal fan since the Dresden Dolls. I just found your blog and your twitter and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you so much for that song, it made me laugh and dance and jump with joy! :P I can’t wait to see the video.
    Have a lovely tuesday! xoxo Lola

  • Melissa Joy

    Amanda–netting over beading helps with the chafing. We do it all the time on Broadway.
    –Melissa Joy

  • chrisabraham

    What a hypocrite! Look at her eyebrows! They’re both “Brazil waxed” to within an inch of their poor lives. Why do they have to suffer while she’s extolling a natural pubis?

    • Bekkitae Jay

      My understanding is she’s extolling the idea of CHOICE to express yourself and your body in any way that you d*mn well please. Eyebrows are a choice too.

  • Shakti

    Thank you. I sent a link to this blog to my husband with the subject “Never Ever Have I Ever, EVER….” sent him a link to your blog. He did read it & responded that yes, that is how he responds to my calls, because yes, that’s how every day feels. But he’s going to try to keep some perspective, thanks to you. Love.

    And yes, that’s a somewhat self-centered way to look at this entry, but it’s one of the ways you enhance my life. Thank you so much. Don’t stop being everything you are.

  • gryke1

    Ms. Palmer: I think you should probably write a novel of some kind. You are interesting and your “stream of consciousness” is, too. Think about it. Get your head out of twats, stop dropping fuck bombs just for the sake of it and try writing. You’re a little like Hunter Thompson, but you need to discipline yourself and stop kidding around.

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